How to deal with family

[Ellai]

Hi.

Well.. I can tell you that in my family I am the only one awakened. This brings me in a lonely zone.
This night I woke up 3 am.. not being able to sleep.
When my brother texted me...He is very angry because of the phone of his gf just got stolen when they are clubbing. He blames islamic people (he is racist ). And the person he needs to tell this happened and be angry at is me. Why???
I do know why.. because he needs to radiate his anger at me. Because in the past I have been with a guy who is Islamic. And because I tend to disagree with him that every islamic guy is bad. He needs to let go of his anger, and the only way he knows to do that is dissing me. And he is probably drunk as well....

While I know that.. I find it hard to deal with this. I would love to tell him that the only reason this happens to him and his gf is because they think the way they do.. They send out that all islamic people are bad.. in wich they recieve the facts (for them) that all islamic people are bad. I wish I could tell him this. But my brother isn't someone who would believe this. So .. how to deal with this kind of thing? How do you do it?

Ellai

[Marc]

I have found that if he wants to truly know why he will ask you and find out, but many people that are asleep must be allowed to struggle and slumber. If you remained detached from him and realize this is a part of his unique journey, you will find peace in yourself. Offer your wisdom and if he wants it, he will ask. Make yourself available to him, but don't lay ideas on him that he is not ready to hear yet.

Just my insights from working with sleeping people...

[Ellai]

Thanks Marc, I really appreciate(how is that spelled?) it. I think i knew that already, but needed t hear from some one else. I havent told my brother anything. Was just being sarcastic to him like: yea and all islmaic people are bad and are to be sent to the gaschambers (as in nazi germany did). He got angry with that comment.

I just can't sleep anymore now. My head is full of (new)ideas.

[GentleReckoning]

If he wants to express anger, let him. I've found that people will choose outlets for their anger that they feel are safe. Accept that you are able to perform this service to him. Mirror him if you can, and just let him express as much as he wants.

Also, I know how you feel. I'm the only awakened one in my family, and I've come to the conclusion that being awakened doesn't matter as much as how well you are able to interact with society.

[Phoenix]

Last time I got in one of these discussions I went completely off and argued. Then someone suggested to me the calm question 'What is your evidence for that?'

I haven't tried it yet. But I doubt the people I was speaking with had any.

You can't really say that over text though.

[Ashim]

I had a racist boss who would insist on calling all non caucasians 'paki bastards'.
I just let him talk and did not really say much in return.
When I quit that job (last one I had about 4 years ago) I told him that I had had a better offer from a pakistani company.
You should have seen his face!

[GentleReckoning]

Last time I got in one of these discussions I went completely off and argued. Then someone suggested to me the calm question 'What is your evidence for that?'

I haven't tried it yet though. But I doubt the people I was speaking with had any.

You can't really say that over text though.

Here's a good version of that:

A beautiful girl in the village was pregnant. Her angry parents demanded to know who was the father. At first resistant to confess, the anxious and embarrassed girl finally pointed to Hakuin, the Zen master whom everyone previously revered for living such a pure life. When the outraged parents confronted Hakuin with their daughter's accusation, he simply replied "Is that so?"
When the child was born, the parents brought it to the Hakuin, who now was viewed as a pariah by the whole village. They demanded that he take care of the child since it was his responsibility. "Is that so?" Hakuin said calmly as he accepted the child.

For many months he took very good care of the child until the daughter could no longer withstand the lie she had told. She confessed that the real father was a young man in the village whom she had tried to protect. The parents immediately went to Hakuin to see if he would return the baby. With profuse apologies they explained what had happened. "Is that so?" Hakuin said as he handed them the child.

[norral]

i think it wouldnt accept anyone dumping on me. especially someone from my family. i would tell him ill talk to him another time. u dont have to listen to anything u dont want to. the problem is really his and until hes willing to admit that hes going to keep it . people wake up in their own time and eventually we will all wake up and realize we are connected. hes typical of many souls on this planet . i try very hard to stay out of convos that put people down they just bring u down when u listen to them. and when he does this to u your boundaries are being violated which he doesnt care about. its all consciousness and my consciousness is precious to me and i dont want it infiltrated by others negavtivity. just my thoughts.

norral

[Hototo]

You guys are very close to my family and I havent been that succesful in dealing with most of you, so. Look at what I did and take hints from how not to repeat same mistakes

[Phoenix]

Hello Gentlereckoning.

I don't think the stories are exactly the same. Because the evidence question has the potential for defense in it. It is not agreeing with the attackers point of view.

For me the whole question comes down to where you draw the line. When someone is doing something only a bit negative and you have a close and loving relationship with them, then it's almost always OK. The love trumps all.

But beyond a certain point, you have to remove yourself from the vicinity of someone who is negative, you have to respect yourself, which is easier if you don't know them so well.

[Plenum]

family is the biggest catalyst you will ever have.

you chose your parents, you chose the location.

it was all chosen by an all-aware, much wiser version of yourself.

everything from your childhood is like a great mine; filled with the gold of self-acceptance.

if you can shift to this perspective, your whole reality, quite literally, will be reset.