Finding Enlightenment

[Nyu]

I apologize if there is another thread for this. I'm wondering how you guys feel about the level of progress you are experiencing, if the path to enlightenment is easy for you or difficult?

After reading the forum for a bit and looking inwards a little, I don't think I am actually a "wanderer". I don't believe that I do come from another planet - at least not immediately before my incarnation here. I think I may have lived here before. So I think my progress might not be that easy. As I said in my wanderer thread I did grow up with spirituality and having odd experiences, but it has been dormant for a long time.

I think the awakening that is finally starting to happen is actually due to experimenting with lsd, or that was the catalyst anyway. I've done it a couple of times in my life now, but not for many months - the last time I did it however was THE most intense/unique/beautiful experience of my life. I suddenly "got" the world, I "got" my relationship with my bf, and it was like breaking glass in my mind.. all of my fears and insecurities simply fell away, and I felt the most amazing sense of inner peace that I had never felt in my life, it was like simply washing away a whole lifetime of pain and I realised none of it mattered. That's all there was to it. The peace and serenity I felt within was so beautiful that I actually lay there crying happy tears lol. Anyway this isn't a story about lsd.. but it paved the way. But while I'm on that subject, every single time that I have done it, all the trees and plants are covered with beautiful tiny red beads. They look like coral. I wonder now if that is the red life energy that I'm seeing?? Has anyone else ever seen that? I've never known what it is, but it's stunning.

Anyway, the POINT, is that even though I have had a few amazing breakthroughs I still don't feel like I'm even remotely reaching my potential yet. And I want to reach it by myself, not with the aid of substances. In meditation the night before last I asked myself what do I need to do to accelerate my awakening - I feel that it is important to accelerate it now that we are drawing closer to 2012, there is a sense of urgency in the air (and the channeling readings I have read seem to point that out). The answer that came back as soon as I asked the question was that I simply need to "surrender" to the creator. Siddhartha surrendered by sitting down for several days refusing to move until it happened, my mum (I swear I don't talk about my mum all the time, only here because it is relevant ) found enlightenment when I was a child, but she starved her body for 6 weeks and almost died for it. I wonder, do I need to do the same thing? But asking that question to the universe, the answer came back that there are as many ways of reaching enlightenment as there are people on the planet. Everyone must find their own way.

So I would like to hear your thoughts if you are willing to share them with me. Do some of you feel like you have found it, or are close to it? Do you get frustrated with your progress and wish it would happen faster?

I am trying and trying every single day, but sometimes I feel a bit down about it and wonder if maybe it's not meant to happen for me (although inside I know it's meant to happen for everyone, so those negative thoughts are just something else I need to conquer).

I wish I could have an ET contact experience, or any other contact experience that is of the light. I did have a funny experience meditating earlier this week though where I was asking and asking to be contacted, and I was trying hard to raise my vibrations and I thought I could hear a swooshing noise in my head, so I just said to myself "can you please lower your vibration so I can hear it more clearly?" and IMMEDIATELY when I said that, that swooshing noise just started lowering dramatically, and then I heard it quite loudly! And this tiny thought said "keep trying to go higher" and I had a visualization of a hand reaching down to me as I'm trying to reach my hand up, but I couldn't quite get it.

Anyway, I would love to hear what you guys have to say about your own experiences so far!

/ramblings

[Unbound]

I think you are well on your way.

There are two distinct things I have learned from the path of the Buddha. The first is Buddha's statement to NOT abuse yourself, to NOT push yourself to near death in order to reach "enlightment". This is what he stated AFTER achieving it.

The second is that we are all already enlightened and rather you are taking off the lamp-shade, there is no process other than revealing what is there. Indeed, do not seek enlightment as a goal, for then it will elude you as a beginning.

For myself? I had some rather intense LSD experiences myself and I agree that I believe the increase of psychedelics is due to the "speeding" up that is happening. Taking drugs dissolves the egos, it humbles you, in the same way that deep meditation can. Of course, speed always comes with risk and it must always be remembered that psychedelics are a TOOL and that if you do not know how to use your tools you may hurt yourself. Can I say I've reached "enlightenment"? I can't say. I have experienced a thoughtless state, a state of simply knowing all that needs to be known to me, a state I actually hypothesized and attempted naturally before experiencing it heavily on LSD. This is sometimes described as an enlightened state, but it was certainly only temporary.

The biggest thing about drugs is it must be remembered they are only a window, they can only show you possibilities. Thus, they are most useful quite after they have worn off and when you can begin to put your experience in to context. Actually, that right there is what many people lose themselves in on drugs, lack of context. Many people have no spirituality, conception of God or metaphysics, and so when they take psychedelics they experience a nightmarish dream because they do not understanding that it is THEIR thoughts that are guiding the trip! I actually find psychedelics more of a challenge for my mind, I've taken a few grams of shrooms before and held back all hallucinations with my mind, seeing only the vibrational energies flowing through everything. I remember discussing with my younger brother, during that trip, that I actually had the whole thing subconsciously planned to show him that he has the power of control and should not worry about his mind escaping him. Aha He also for a moment believed I was God, and of course I assured him that it is true, since we are all God. He was amazed when he found out the next day that I had said everything consciously and knowingly, and was like "Uh, you WERE on shrooms too, right?" Quite amusing how people underestimate their own capabilities!

And this I say to you, you already have the power, the light and the enlightenment. You have only to accept this within yourself.

[kycahi]

Nyu, I'm an old fart now, but time was when I wanted to pick up my mental/spiritual phone and talk with ETs and ascended masters in order to improve myself enough to be of use on this planet.

That didn't happen and eventually :-/ I found enough self-improvement to be fairly comfortable in my skin. I think I am better for having gotten to this state on my own rather than from an outsider, even one so superior as a higher-density being. In fact, probably if I strained and strained to get golden information that way I would have been a low-hanging fruit for an STS entity.

I have no advice for you except to work on getting balance, even knowing that I can't define that term for you. I hope and expect that you will recognize it when you gain some more of it. Some things that might help in no particular order:

• Read Ra
  
• Read Q'uo
  
• Read these forums
  
• Meditate
  

Thanks for starting this thread.

[Oceania]

i don't wanna be a low hanging fruit!

my life has been difficult and easy, paradox. i dunno if it has been more helpful or not to have many weird problems that i still struggle with that seem impossible to fix, it's more to due with the fact that i seem alone in my problems. if i had something normal and accepted it might be easier to accept others' help or trust i won't be rejected. if i could redo my life i'd choose different catalysts probably. not to say i haven't learned from a lot of them, but if it cripples me in the process...

whether you are a wanderer or not is not the point, whether you want to ascend is. we kinda use that term loosely, meaning you can be a native wanderer. except Monkey who apparently doesn't want to ascend.

[Lorna]

my experience is similar to that of kychai

i would suggest that enlightenment is a bit of an abstract concept - i have no idea really what it is

i would explain my own experience as more of the unfurling of spiritual resonance from within, to me enlightenment feels exterior, my experience is that of gradual interior shifts till i feel that point of balance

i used to feel the urgency that you describe above, i don't any longer, but that transformation has been gradual and over a period of years

[Brittany]

I'm sort of the opposite...I'm afraid that when I die I'll regain my memories and find out I'm high 6D and it'll be like "well, time to go back to the Creator." I'm just not ready for that yet. There's still so many adventures I want to have. Just making it to 4th sounds so exciting...I guess I'm afraid I'll find out it's all already happened and all the hopes and dreams I had here were for nothing. Like everything that matters to me now will become insignificant. I guess that is selfish and silly, but I supposeI'm a wee bit afraid of my full potential.

[kycahi]

I know what you mean, Ahktu. I go through self-loathing, then acceptance and finally love myself and wham--I return to the One and become part of the All? What about me, myself and I?

Now, though, I accept that if I could and did choose to stay separate I would be like a lonely ghost who didn't want to share and therefore missed out on a grand and glorious party. So bring it on, I trust the mechanism to do right by me.

[Brittany]

It's not like I don't want to EVER go back to the One. I don't think you ever lose yourself, your self just gets bigger and bigger until eventually it *is* the One. I just want to do it in my own time. I think...what if my memory complex are all waiting to go forward and I keep holding them back with my need to go adventuring? So I just get guilt tripped into leaving before I'm ready? I really feel like I couldn't be satisfied until I've seen and experienced absolutely every corner of this universe.

I think it would be thrilling to be a newly awakened 3D being, just about to explode into the wonders of 4D. I feel so old and weary...it makes me a bit jealous in truth. :p

[Ankh]

I loved your entire post, Nyu. It was very heartfelt and honest. Thank you so much for sharing!

I consider myself lucky; it feels like I barely made it (which I haven't, but at least now I have the tools of how to deal with lots of stuff here). I have no rush merging with the Creator either. My particular inclination is to go home to my social memory complex and unite with them, and to get my full memory back... And aaaaah - I am going to enjoy that so endlessly...

Regarding your post, I have felt most of what you feel, but that was all prior to the discovery of the Ra material. Now it feels like I have found my home and is not striving to search through endless, earthly, spiritual sources anymore in order to get answers. And what a comfortable, relaxing feeling that is, Nyu.... To finally slow it down, take it easy and learn how to breathe and enjoy properly...

Anyway, the "advices" that I can give you are the ones that I found helpful myself. The first thing that was of major importance to me, was the confirmation of the inner being. That confirmation came in my case, from the L/L Research material available online through their homepage. I know that people usually say that you need to confirm your inner self by yourself, but in my case it was impossible. I was waiting and looking for something coming from the outside, which is called "enlightment". What I didn't know is that I had all this truth and everything else that is needed inside of me already, and L/L Research material (not only the Books) confirmed all that. It was heaven on Earth when it happened. I felt how I just calmed down, relaxed in my whole body and mind so much, and in so many levels, that quite long time after that, everytime when I was heading somewhere, it felt like I forgot my backpack home because so much pressure and weight was gone.

The second big help to me was trying to live the studied material. Manifesting what is learned showed out to be of both a greatest help but also the most difficult one. But without practicing it in the real life it seems like there is a waste of all that knowledge and effort put into the studying. What I also noticed is that the more one is struggling to attempt to manifest it, the more help there is in this process. After a while you start to notice things. If there is a strong to desire to manifest something then there occurs like almost some kind of magical help. But this process is also divided in many steps, and comes gradually. For instance, now I am working consciously with service. The process started some weeks ago by the desire to manifest it more. And then I felt the most incredable help and presence. It felt like the Creator got so happy for me desiring that, that I was awarded with most greatest joy and neverceasing desire to serve, serve, serve. Of course it just lasted a day, in order to give me a pretaste of it, and then I had to work with it by myself. After that this process got laborious and confusing many times, like for everybody else. The most difficult in this is the physical pain and weariness. After a long day of serving others, when your whole body is aching and you just want to relax and rest, when a family member comes wanting you to rub his back, or you to pay the bills, or you to do some laundry, you just think - aaaaahh, I am too tired! Anyway, the living what you preaching seems like a good idea to me. It also makes me to stay grounded which I have major difficulties with, and it also teaches me how to appreciate the mundane everyday life and all the things and the people around me, each moment! I don't know what I was doing prior to the L/L Research material, but it was not living in harmony and peace, that much I can say! So "enlightment" means to me that I am not striving for some kind of illuminated state of mind and spirit anymore, more than what I mentioned. The confirmation of the inner being and tools for how and what to do in each and every single moment.

[Nyu]

Hey everyone, thank you for the awesome replies.

Azrael - I guess maybe "enlightenment" did happen that night, and I guess it will probably keep happening in that state, and I wonder if enlightenment is being at that state of peace and wisdom naturally. At least its something I'm kind of trying to aim towards, and it is happening in bits and pieces.

Oceania - I would say the problems are arising to keep you growing and are thus a helpful thing, even though they dont seem helpful at the time. I've had a very difficult past and even though it would be nice to have been given an easier life, deep down I'm kind of grateful I didn't because now I feel it made me a better person and led me here and to the other good things in my life now. I don't know what your difficulties are, but hopefully they are helping your spiritual journey.

Ahktu - I'm pretty sure you get to keep choosing where you want to go and what lessons/experiences you will have, so don't worry just yet!

Ankh - thank you! I've definitely been studying the material and its funny how I do apply it to all situations now. I've always found going into public kind of painful but lately I'm finding joy in it as I like looking at everyone and wondering what their journey is etc. I've begun living the Law of One but I know there is still so much to learn.