04-18-2009, 07:49 PM
It’s a strange experience writing about me! I spend my professional life writing about other people, products and places but to look inwards and express my story in words feels a bit odd! And yet such is my interest in reading other people’s stories of their wanderings, that I want to contribute my own in case some stumbles over it and finds it interesting or useful.
I was thinking how best to describe my wanderer story and realised that one of the patterns in my life is how little I feel the urge to physically wander at all. I live in south west Scotland and spent all of my childhood longing to ‘escape’ to somewhere more interesting and exciting. I did get away, first to university to a town remarkably like home which was lovely, but then to the bright lights of the city for my promising career which was disastrous. It took me five miserable years to realise I had to come back.
Being different
I am the eldest of 3 children – my parents conceived me after knowing each other for only a few weeks so in a way I feel the three of us came together at roughly the same time. It is patently obvious to me that my parents are also wanderers. They have such open hearts and feel an overpowering sense of service, and that has absolutely defined their lives and led to a sense of martyrdom at times. They’ve recently come through a traumatic situation which is a long story, but for now everything is good, and there is an air of rebirth and new beginnings for them and the rest of the family now.
When I was 4 I started to develop alopecia – hair loss – which my mother thinks was in response to a childhood vaccination. My hair fell out completely when I was 6. Alopecia is an autoimmune disorder, but in the mid 80s when it happened most people thought it was a condition linked to stress and trauma – and my parents were pretty much accused of child abuse. I can’t imagine how horrific that must have been for them. I feel strongly that this medical condition was a pre-incarnative choice – my mother recalls how I ‘relaxed’ after it happened as though I had been waiting for it. I also know that it had a strong teaching influence on those around me – particularly men who had issues with male paten baldness.... and it still does
School and tendencies to geeky-ness
I’ve always been a science geek, fascinated by the stars since i can remember – my earliest memory is when i was 3 and a half, watching the night sky on the night when my brother was born. I’ve also always been very intellectually gifted. After racing ahead in maths at school when i was 7 my teacher gave me a book on astronomy which was such a gift! My secondary schooling was truly awful and I feel damaged by it – my maths and physics teachers both male chauvinists who completely shut down my interest in these subjects for over a decade. Looking back, probably a good thing – I don’t think I’d have been happy working in these fields.
So instead I focussed on communication, doing a spot of broadcast journalism while I was at school I got a taste for it. But through that I came into contact with journalists covering 2 big news stories that happened very close to me – the Lockerbie bombing and while I was at university the school shooting at Dunblane. I saw the sickening, voyeuristic side of journalism so instead I went into PR and copywriting, and again looking back I’m glad that side of my chosen field was revealed to me before I had fully committed myself to it.
Religion
I was raised Catholic in a strongly Protestant area of Scotland – one of only two catholic families in the town. Sectarianism is rife in parts of Scotland and my parents were very aware of it – particularly since theirs was a mixed marriage – my mother had been raised catholic, my father raised protestant by very anti-catholic parents. Neither of my parents were ‘religious’ in themselves, although my mum exposed me to as much religion as she could because she wanted me to understand religion, the similarities between the different denominations and to understand that Scottish sectarianism was about tribalism, not religion. So as a result I went to mass and had some classes with nuns, but I also went to Church of Scotland Sunday school, Baptist bible classes, Episcopalian study group – they all merge into one lol! I was interested in religion, still am, but I was contrary in those classes – lots of awkward but valid questions
Weird stuff
I have always been interested in aliens, psychic phenomena, paranormal experiences (yawn... really? I hear you think! How unusual for a wanderer lol!). When I was six I saw a weird vision in my aunt’s house which I think piqued my interest.
Relationships
I’m completely rubbish at romantic relationships. My friendships have always tended to get in the way somehow, plus I seem to have a knack for being attracted to the guys that will have the most negative reaction to my having alopecia... I guess each of these encounters has had a value in teach/learning.... For 10 years or so I was on the same path as a very good male friend, in many ways we were partners (ex band mates, flat mates, best friends) but it was purely platonic. I get the feeling we had been partners in other lives. His parents are now like a 2nd set of grandparents to my son – it’s nice.
Parenting
I’ve always known that I wouldn’t have any choice over whether or not I had children, and that scared me when it came to relationships, I always knew that pregnancy was very, very likely so I avoided physical closeness because I’d never been in a position where parenting was at all practical or possible. Turned out I was absolutely right to be so cautious! Lol! I had a very brief encounter 3 years ago and am now a single parent to a little boy. I knew I was going to get pregnant even though science would have said it shouldn’t have happened. I had all manner of dreams telling me that it would and I get the distinct impression that someone somewhere breathed a sigh of relief and said ‘at last’! I had been resisting the possibility for so long.
Origins
My other sense of someone chuckling at my stubborn refusal to understand the obvious was in thinking about where I have wandered here from. Turns out Sirius. For a few years after reading about the idea of wanderers I had wondered where I had come from. I had a dream in which i was asking the question to someone, who was incredulous that I hadn’t worked it out, I was directed to look up and the word ‘sirius’ was written in huge letters in the sky with stars. When I woke up it was so obvious because that memory I have when I was three was of looking at the dog star and there are so many other memories of connections with the star, the word, the idea... Seems I can be a bit slow on the uptake at times...
Wandering
After spending many unhappy and lonely years in a city, ending up in a ‘good’ but dull, dull job I stumbled across David Wilcock’s Ascension 2000 website which led me to the Law of One and L/L Research. Turns out it there was a reason for the dullness of my work as it afforded me plenty of time to absorb all the information I could find. Once I had ‘got’ it something clicked into place and I found the perfect job for me in the perfect place (I’d been trying for 2 years to move here). Left that place of work after a couple of years and started my own business as a marketing / pr consultant / copywriter. ‘tis all good. The important things I do in my work are less about the ‘work’ bit of it, and more about supporting my clients generally through crises of confidence, criticism, opportunities for growth etc. I feel very privileged to be sharing their journeys.
Which leads me to where I am now. Very content and looking forward to tomorrow.
One of the main patterns in my life is that whenever I’ve tried to push myself or consciously direct my life, it’s all gone horribly wrong. When I’ve gone with the flow things happen perfectly and beautifully – the path of least resistance and all that - it makes life nice and easy lol!
Wonder why it took me so long to figure that out?
I was thinking how best to describe my wanderer story and realised that one of the patterns in my life is how little I feel the urge to physically wander at all. I live in south west Scotland and spent all of my childhood longing to ‘escape’ to somewhere more interesting and exciting. I did get away, first to university to a town remarkably like home which was lovely, but then to the bright lights of the city for my promising career which was disastrous. It took me five miserable years to realise I had to come back.
Being different
I am the eldest of 3 children – my parents conceived me after knowing each other for only a few weeks so in a way I feel the three of us came together at roughly the same time. It is patently obvious to me that my parents are also wanderers. They have such open hearts and feel an overpowering sense of service, and that has absolutely defined their lives and led to a sense of martyrdom at times. They’ve recently come through a traumatic situation which is a long story, but for now everything is good, and there is an air of rebirth and new beginnings for them and the rest of the family now.
When I was 4 I started to develop alopecia – hair loss – which my mother thinks was in response to a childhood vaccination. My hair fell out completely when I was 6. Alopecia is an autoimmune disorder, but in the mid 80s when it happened most people thought it was a condition linked to stress and trauma – and my parents were pretty much accused of child abuse. I can’t imagine how horrific that must have been for them. I feel strongly that this medical condition was a pre-incarnative choice – my mother recalls how I ‘relaxed’ after it happened as though I had been waiting for it. I also know that it had a strong teaching influence on those around me – particularly men who had issues with male paten baldness.... and it still does
School and tendencies to geeky-ness
I’ve always been a science geek, fascinated by the stars since i can remember – my earliest memory is when i was 3 and a half, watching the night sky on the night when my brother was born. I’ve also always been very intellectually gifted. After racing ahead in maths at school when i was 7 my teacher gave me a book on astronomy which was such a gift! My secondary schooling was truly awful and I feel damaged by it – my maths and physics teachers both male chauvinists who completely shut down my interest in these subjects for over a decade. Looking back, probably a good thing – I don’t think I’d have been happy working in these fields.
So instead I focussed on communication, doing a spot of broadcast journalism while I was at school I got a taste for it. But through that I came into contact with journalists covering 2 big news stories that happened very close to me – the Lockerbie bombing and while I was at university the school shooting at Dunblane. I saw the sickening, voyeuristic side of journalism so instead I went into PR and copywriting, and again looking back I’m glad that side of my chosen field was revealed to me before I had fully committed myself to it.
Religion
I was raised Catholic in a strongly Protestant area of Scotland – one of only two catholic families in the town. Sectarianism is rife in parts of Scotland and my parents were very aware of it – particularly since theirs was a mixed marriage – my mother had been raised catholic, my father raised protestant by very anti-catholic parents. Neither of my parents were ‘religious’ in themselves, although my mum exposed me to as much religion as she could because she wanted me to understand religion, the similarities between the different denominations and to understand that Scottish sectarianism was about tribalism, not religion. So as a result I went to mass and had some classes with nuns, but I also went to Church of Scotland Sunday school, Baptist bible classes, Episcopalian study group – they all merge into one lol! I was interested in religion, still am, but I was contrary in those classes – lots of awkward but valid questions
Weird stuff
I have always been interested in aliens, psychic phenomena, paranormal experiences (yawn... really? I hear you think! How unusual for a wanderer lol!). When I was six I saw a weird vision in my aunt’s house which I think piqued my interest.
Relationships
I’m completely rubbish at romantic relationships. My friendships have always tended to get in the way somehow, plus I seem to have a knack for being attracted to the guys that will have the most negative reaction to my having alopecia... I guess each of these encounters has had a value in teach/learning.... For 10 years or so I was on the same path as a very good male friend, in many ways we were partners (ex band mates, flat mates, best friends) but it was purely platonic. I get the feeling we had been partners in other lives. His parents are now like a 2nd set of grandparents to my son – it’s nice.
Parenting
I’ve always known that I wouldn’t have any choice over whether or not I had children, and that scared me when it came to relationships, I always knew that pregnancy was very, very likely so I avoided physical closeness because I’d never been in a position where parenting was at all practical or possible. Turned out I was absolutely right to be so cautious! Lol! I had a very brief encounter 3 years ago and am now a single parent to a little boy. I knew I was going to get pregnant even though science would have said it shouldn’t have happened. I had all manner of dreams telling me that it would and I get the distinct impression that someone somewhere breathed a sigh of relief and said ‘at last’! I had been resisting the possibility for so long.
Origins
My other sense of someone chuckling at my stubborn refusal to understand the obvious was in thinking about where I have wandered here from. Turns out Sirius. For a few years after reading about the idea of wanderers I had wondered where I had come from. I had a dream in which i was asking the question to someone, who was incredulous that I hadn’t worked it out, I was directed to look up and the word ‘sirius’ was written in huge letters in the sky with stars. When I woke up it was so obvious because that memory I have when I was three was of looking at the dog star and there are so many other memories of connections with the star, the word, the idea... Seems I can be a bit slow on the uptake at times...
Wandering
After spending many unhappy and lonely years in a city, ending up in a ‘good’ but dull, dull job I stumbled across David Wilcock’s Ascension 2000 website which led me to the Law of One and L/L Research. Turns out it there was a reason for the dullness of my work as it afforded me plenty of time to absorb all the information I could find. Once I had ‘got’ it something clicked into place and I found the perfect job for me in the perfect place (I’d been trying for 2 years to move here). Left that place of work after a couple of years and started my own business as a marketing / pr consultant / copywriter. ‘tis all good. The important things I do in my work are less about the ‘work’ bit of it, and more about supporting my clients generally through crises of confidence, criticism, opportunities for growth etc. I feel very privileged to be sharing their journeys.
Which leads me to where I am now. Very content and looking forward to tomorrow.
One of the main patterns in my life is that whenever I’ve tried to push myself or consciously direct my life, it’s all gone horribly wrong. When I’ve gone with the flow things happen perfectly and beautifully – the path of least resistance and all that - it makes life nice and easy lol!
Wonder why it took me so long to figure that out?
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