some thoughts on service to self (sts)

[schubert]

heres some of my thoughts on service to self. i think primal is a good word to describe it. it's what you find in a lot of the animal kingdom. this isnt to imply that its unintelligent or unadvanced, it is its own unique way of experiencing life. theres nothing objectively wrong with it. for example, nobody judges wolves for hunting elk or for how a wolf pack operates. theyre a part of the system of nature and serve the whole in their own way, e.g. helping to balance the ecosystem. there is something to be said however about expecting differently from humans because we have a different situation, like when it comes to the level of impact we can have on the environment.

when thinking about the upsides/downsides of sts behavior, i was reminded about/reinforced my understanding of how you get back what you put out. however you want to explain or understand this, i think it rings true, and can be a very helpful guiding principle in life. so if i were to isolate out empathy for the sake of a thought exercise, personally im not interested in engaging in an overly sts mindset because i can see how there would be consequences i wouldnt desire.

ive come to see sts in a more genuinely neutral way. before, it's had a sort of negative label in my mind. i'll end with this quote i really like from daniel scranton channeling the 9d arcturian council, "true power is being able to create whatever you want without anyone else having to lose anything in the process."

[Kaaron]

I feel it is misunderstood.
There is potential for harmful behavior.
The same is true for STO.
Loving and trying to help, out of a desire to get a certain result, is STS.
The expectation creates selfishness.
One can be completely focused on the self n not wish to be above another or even part of a hierarchy.
We can provide little in the way of help...besides comfort and advice when requested.
This is the 5% we offer others.
This is the positive STS path.
Wanting to help...so that one may experience a subjective perfection, is negative STO.
It's not black n white.

[Ray711]

I think you're very right in that there's something primal about STS. I believe we can put in the context of natural selection as seen from our perspective. STS in 3rd density is about considering the physical world to be what matters most (this is so even in the case of black magicians). When an entity looks at the physical world, it sees chaos, struggle, survival of the fittest, and hierarchies of dominance and power. This is the way that life works, they think. And so, they decide to continue the brutal and seemingly cruel cycle that was the driving force of evolution during 2nd density. It's a logical conclusion that is not unreasonable in any way if one is applying logic to the extreme, in detriment of the heart.

Q'uo says that even to become STS harvestable, some kind of faith is required. Faith that power and control is all that the world is about. Faith that there is no meaning and no purpose whatsoever in love. The STS entity needs to operate on faith in order to make the decision to suppress the side of themselves that yearns for love before they properly and faithfully embark on the STS journey.

Wanting to help...so that one may experience a subjective perfection, is negative STO.

This is incorrect. A recent daily Q'uote explains it well:

"We feel that the true selfishness is to choose the path of service to others, and we are not playing with words here. We have found it to be the quicker path, the easier path, and by far the more joyful path. We find the increasing lack of competition to be most satisfying, and the ability ultimately to merge together as one creative, collaborative being infinitely gratifying."

The fact that we feel good when loving others has nothing to do with negativity/STS. It's simply a deliberate way in which the Creation was designed to incite its individuated parts to help the evolutionary process of the All. To serve others is to serve the self. That's how it is, by design.

We are not any more selfish for enjoying the pleasures of STO than the cells of our bodies are for doing their task.

[BridgesToLight]

Ra finally helped me see how my giving of myself, often to the point of physical, financial or emotional devastation, was not being charitable, holy or even serving the others.

When I realized that my scheming and manipulating my husband to keep him from drinking was NOT serving his highest good, nor my family's, in spite of every human material American thought to the contrary, was the moment I realized I had been living this life ALL wrong.

Funny enough, that was also when my luck changed and I began seeing manifestations in my world.

I like to think of STO/STS as interacting with the incarnated world in one of two ways, 1-STO - Control and improvement of self/connection to Infinite Divinity with the focus on not harming other humans while giving excess to better others, or 2-STS - Control and manipulation of others with the focus on not allowing harm to self while taking anything that will allow the being to continue his protection of self first.

I am finding that the more I focus on the highest good, instead of specific me focused good, the easier it all becomes, the easier it is to fail and try again.
Refining all these distortions is hard work.

[Kaaron]

Wanting to help...so that one may experience a subjective perfection, is negative STO.

This is incorrect. A recent daily Q'uote explains it well:

"We feel that the true selfishness is to choose the path of service to others, and we are not playing with words here. We have found it to be the quicker path, the easier path, and by far the more joyful path. We find the increasing lack of competition to be most satisfying, and the ability ultimately to merge together as one creative, collaborative being infinitely gratifying."

The fact that we feel good when loving others has nothing to do with negativity/STS. It's simply a deliberate way in which the Creation was designed to incite its individuated parts to help the evolutionary process of the All. To serve others is to serve the self. That's how it is, by design.

We are not any more selfish for enjoying the pleasures of STO than the cells of our bodies are for doing their task.

You're missing the point.
They say its selfish to be STO.
I'm saying that trying to help others to be more loving, in this context...is selfish.
To want others to be STO or United...and then go around trying to help them understand that it's what the all wants...is STS.
PERHAPS they have chosen to be separate this incarnation. To want something for another that they haven't chosen...is selfish.
To show love and light to all...even those who are burned by it...is selfish.
Ignoring and leaving them to be them alone, is STO.
Trying to enlighten or love, those who choose otherwise, is placing our expectations on another self.
So just because Q'uo find it satisfying and intensely gratifying to be selfishly STO...it doesn't make it beneficial or balanced. Especially to an STS aspect of the all.
To imply any different, is to choose one path as more right...which is untrue.

[Ray711]

I'm saying that trying to help others to be more loving, in this context...is selfish.
To want others to be STO or United...and then go around trying to help them understand that it's what the all wants...is STS.
PERHAPS they have chosen to be separate this incarnation. To want something for another that they haven't chosen...is selfish.

Yes, you're talking about a violation of free will. That is selfish indeed. But it must be said that despite of acting in love's name, it's STS behavior, not STO. STO has enormous respect for free will.

This brings us to the dilemma that you mentioned, which I think is very interesting: Is it selfish to show love and light even to those who are burned by it?

I feel there are three options in a situation of being greeted by a negative entity. One can send love and light; one can wish upon the other-self that which is desired by them; or one can be indifferent to the entity.

Indifference doesn't really work with negative entities. They call themselves to conquest; their polarity is based on violating other entities' free will. As such, they will try their hardest to make it so that you don't have the option to be indifferent to them. This is so by the grand design of the Creation. Negative entities, and the purpose of  the negative path as a whole, was meant to force the attention of positive entities into those aspects of themselves that needed work; their weaknesses. We will not work on our fear if we are never put in situations that cause us fear.

The other option is to wish that the negative entity gets what they desire. For an entity that wishes to enslave others, you will find that you cannot remain positive if you desire that such an entity fulfills their desires. Ra was very clear about this when Don asked them how they could help the 5th density negative entity that was attacking them. This entity wants Carla dead, Ra said, knowing full well that Don would not consider killing Carla a true service.

So that only leaves the other option, to send love and light to such an entity, even when they don't want this. How is this a true service, then, if the entity doesn't desire this? I think this is a very valid and also a very important question.

To see the situation more clearly, I think it's important we look at what creates the pull towards the negative polarity. We know that the negative polarity didn't exist when there was no veil of forgetting. This means that there is absolutely zero motivation for any soul in Creation to choose the negative side, unless this choice is based on an illusion; on falsity. We are love. Love is literally what we are made of. We cannot escape love, and we cannot stop desiring love. Love can be twisted in many, many different ways. It is said that there is nothing in Creation that is not love. This love can become so twisted that it looks like anything but love, but in reality it still is very much love.

That is the nature of STS. It's a twisted form of love, one where love is considered to be found in power, in struggle, in control. This is unavoidable for an entity that has become so invested in the illusion of physicality, that they came to believe that the rules of the physical world are everything that matters.

Deep down, the soul always yearns for a more pure form of love. Have you at any time in your life given up on finding love? I have, and coupled with the atheistic beliefs I had at the time, and thus with the notion that there was nothing better waiting for me anywhere, it felt humiliating to see other people who I perceived had found love. I had bought into the notion that life was cruel, empty, meaningless, and also on that true love didn't even exist; that it was just a trick, a product of natural selection. The very notion that other people could find it and experience it was an attack to my worldviews. Furthermore, it acted as a painful reminder of the very thing I had given up on. Such experiences, I feel, allowed me to witness the shadow self's emotions. I felt the temptation to wish upon people who I thought had found love the kind of experience that would break that love so that their eyes could be opened to the cruel and meaningless nature of reality.

Now, I never went through with such temptations. On one hand, because I knew a part of myself could not live with itself if I were to fall into such blatant negativity. Also, I was never interested in power. At a conscious level, I could never quite forget that love was what I wanted. And so, the only remaining option for the, at the time, was the sinkhole of indifference. But just imagine an entity that decides to truly go down that path. To become so committed to such a path, during many many incarnations, and then during many millions of years over the course of the higher densities.

Entities like that think in terms of the removal of the light, like Ra said. Why? Because the light is deeply insulting to them at a personal level; to their world views. Contact with the light makes it painfully obvious that they have embraced falsity. No one wants to believe that they have embraced and committed to falsity. As such, the only thing left to do is to attempt to destroy the very thing that threatens and that can reveal such falsity.

So, yes, negative entities dislike it. But at the same time, shining love and light upon them has the potential to make them see that love and light is what they truly desire deep down, at the level of the soul. Ra:

"(...) the most accepting and loving energy would be to so love those who wished to manipulate that those entities were surrounded, engulfed, and transformed by positive energies."

Given a powerful enough positive entity, negative entities can potentially be transformed by such radiating love. This is the principle behind wishing love and light to negative entities. I like to think of it as a resource that you put at their disposal. Love is never forced on the other entity. You love, and then the other entity is completely free to either accept this love, or to leave. So, it's not a violation of free will. If you were to send love with the intention of making a negative entity flee, then yes, this action would carry a certain charge of negativity. But love sent sincerely from the open heart and with the best of wishes for the other entity, is a love that is completely respectful and accepting of free will.

Misery truly does love company. The heartbreaking thing is that even that is based on a desire for love. When someone is feeling in such a low vibrational state and experiencing such dark emotions, one desires a sense of relatedness. One wants to be seen, to be understood. Making others feel how one is feeling is one quick and effective way for the mind to tell itself that the self is finally understood, whereas surrounding oneself with people who are in the complete opposite emotional state feels discordant; like one is invisible, misunderstood, perhaps even defective. But there is a choice. If one is in darkness, one can always decide to start moving in the direction towards the light, and find company there, in joy, in peace, in compassion, rather than in misery. By wishing love and light to STS entities, we are given them an opportunity to make this choice.

I've probably written too much, and I was reluctant to share the personal things I've shared about myself. However, I feel that having had such experiences with my own shadow can be something valuable in terms of understanding the STS path. If sharing them can help in any way, then it would be a disservice not to share them.

[kristina]

Wanting to help...so that one may experience a subjective perfection, is negative STO.

This is incorrect. A recent daily Q'uote explains it well:

"We feel that the true selfishness is to choose the path of service to others, and we are not playing with words here. We have found it to be the quicker path, the easier path, and by far the more joyful path. We find the increasing lack of competition to be most satisfying, and the ability ultimately to merge together as one creative, collaborative being infinitely gratifying."

The fact that we feel good when loving others has nothing to do with negativity/STS. It's simply a deliberate way in which the Creation was designed to incite its individuated parts to help the evolutionary process of the All. To serve others is to serve the self. That's how it is, by design.

We are not any more selfish for enjoying the pleasures of STO than the cells of our bodies are for doing their task.

You're missing the point.
They say its selfish to be STO.
I'm saying that trying to help others to be more loving, in this context...is selfish.
To want others to be STO or United...and then go around trying to help them understand that it's what the all wants...is STS.
PERHAPS they have chosen to be separate this incarnation. To want something for another that they haven't chosen...is selfish.
To show love and light to all...even those who are burned by it...is selfish.
Ignoring and leaving them to be them alone, is STO.
Trying to enlighten or love, those who choose otherwise, is placing our expectations on another self.
So just because Q'uo find it satisfying and intensely gratifying to be selfishly STO...it doesn't make it beneficial or balanced. Especially to an STS aspect of the all.
To imply any different, is to choose one path as more right...which is untrue.

Yeah I think I understand what you are saying here. "If" what I think you are saying is that giving service where it is not truly wanted or needed, then that service becomes a selfish act. I wish everything was so cut and dry but the truth is that even positive people have their shadow to integrate and accept as I think Ray711 was trying to explain through an experience of his. I know these concepts can been frustrating because even good, loving people seem to display sts ways but in fact, they are displaying their shadow self. I can think of something that I bet most of us have had an experience with...The Christian that tries to save us when we really don't want their salvation. Let's take a Christian that Bible thumps a person to near insanity. The Christian truly believes that the other individual will go to a place called Hell so they press and press. This pressing or constant worrying is actually the shadow self expressing that it feels a deep responsibility that it would be wrong "of them" to allow another living soul to die and experience eternity of hellish torment, this person may carry with them some type of guilt or responsibility to other self. Who knows what is the cause for such things as it could something to do with a past life or some type of trauma experienced as a child. At any rate, the love that is being offered and the teaching that is being offered is rejected and yet they love so much that they cannot stop pushing. Or how about the over protective Mother that won't allow her child to experience life on his/her own? These are shadow self related issues not STS actions. Sure these are STS ways but the "intention" is much different than the true STS individual. A true STS could be found lets say in government at the highest levels of government or at the top of lets say big pharma. There is always a "trick" and the pure intention is to trap like what big pharma did with pain pills and now look. It worked. Enslavement, trapping, killing, getting others to believe they should also murder for their cause, governments that starve their own people without regret, the spreading of hate propaganda and this is could be done by small or large groups...there is always a trap, a trick, a manipulation and a pure STS knows their shadow self and is delighting in his horrific deeds of destruction. Killing makes the pure STS feel whole, alivened and well.
We all have what "appears" to be STS ways but in fact they are shadow self issues caused by some type of trauma unless their is a pure STS amoung us here. Which I do not believe.

[schubert]

Love is never forced on the other entity. You love, and then the other entity is completely free to either accept this love, or to leave. So, it's not a violation of free will. If you were to send love with the intention of making a negative entity flee, then yes, this action would carry a certain charge of negativity. But love sent sincerely from the open heart and with the best of wishes for the other entity, is a love that is completely respectful and accepting of free will.

thank you for the extremely enLIGHTening post Ray, your life experiences provide powerful and valuable insight into those mindsets, thank you for being open and sharing that. i love the part i quoted above, how you offer the love and it's up to them whether they leave or accept it.

[Ray711]

Thank you, schubert. I'm glad to be of some service.

[loostudent]

heres some of my thoughts on service to self. i think primal is a good word to describe it. it's what you find in a lot of the animal kingdom.

I think in 2d there is no STO/STS polarsation yet because 2d consciousness is only moving to self-awareness.