Dying vs Living

[AnthroHeart]

They say you can die by losing the will to live.

Why does dying feel better, or more satisfying than living?

I'm not suicidal, but I feel so much satisfaction from just letting go
and not caring what happens to me.

Maybe if I start to be in pain then I'll care.

I carry out disagreements in my head.

I feel controlled.

And I feel solace out of dying. Not out of depression,
but just cause it feels better than trying to hold on and keep going each day.

I don't know if I want to die. But I won't take my life. I don't hate myself like that.

It is just so relaxing when I think of returning home.

Unless by wanting to die, that means you'll automatically repeat 3D.

I find some peace with not trying so hard to live.

I don't know what I'm supposed to think.

[flofrog]

Wolfe I find too the idea of going home so relaxing... and then I am like, life is awesome, so messy and tragic and fun and awesome, who wants to cut it short and then be unable to add more good stuff in space/time...

[RitaJC]

I believe because real being feels great.

The experience of the illusory world of distortions doesn’t, and it can’t, or how would we ever discover the TRUTH?

[AnthroHeart]

The first time in a while since I was pondering that, just this night at like 1:12 am my alarm clock came onto static for the first time ever. I have never set it.
Then I was in the kitchen and when I left it, a box fell off a counter onto the floor. I only heard it. I didn't go back and see.

I think it was the other side contacting me. But I don't know who.

My left ear felt like water was draining from it, and it was itchy, so I had to get up again. It felt and sounded like a bug was in it. But it's not all the time, so I don't think so.

I think I was carrying too much Light. It started to be uncomfortable.

I need a way to decrease my amount of Light without going dark.

I don't want to advance any more spiritually right now.

I was asking yesterday evening for my higher self to take me home. It didn't have to be right away.
But I don't want to leave just to get back at people who annoy me.

When the alarm clock turned on by itself to static, I thought I had already died. I wasn't thrilled, but I wasn't scared either.

[AnthroHeart]

Wolfe I find too the idea of going home so relaxing... and then I am like, life is awesome,  so messy and tragic and fun and awesome, who wants to cut it short and then be unable to add more good stuff in space/time...  

I can't tell you how much I appreciate your heart here. I was a little scared. I was so tired. And it's cold.
And not much food left and just enough money to make it till next month with no help from my mom who lives with me.

I don't know why I bought her a car. She annoyed me so much before, and then I decide to do something nice for her.
I don't understand myself sometimes.

I add love to my dog Loki. No one else loves him like I do. If I left, my mom wouldn't love him at all. I know he'd miss me.

I was frustrated because my book didn't do well even after 2 tries. And I put myself into so much debt.

A psych computer test said that I can't work. And I fear bosses. And I still hallucinate a little.
My mom keeps saying that I can work and I'm just making it up.
She claims though that she can't work.

She projects her stuff onto me. Like her dirty bathroom. Because I don't take out the trash right away, she says that when I die I'm going to live in garbage dump.
She says that in my next life she's going to see to it that I become a maid and have to clean up after other people. She always wants to control me.
My bathroom gets dirty too, but hers is cluttered bad.

I had to change my avatar. The vibration of "God" was too high for me.

[flofrog]

Wolf your mum seems a little scamp she might be reincarnated directly with a broom and pail in hands... . Love the new avatar !

[Agua]

removed

[AnthroHeart]

Thank you Agua,

I don't feel increased fear. At least not yet.
The amount of Light in me is fine now. Before it felt like I was a balloon with the Light pressure on me all the time.
I was pushing before into the Light.
Now I want to rest where I am.

I do visualize grounding during my meditations. Like a rope/roots hanging from my root chakra into the ground,
and imagine the earth coming up to my hips to ground me. Then I ask mother to take from me what I don't need.

I'm doing fine on the slightly reduced medicine. I just got worked up because of my mom. I was more sensitive to her
than usual it seemed. In the past she had driven me to suicidal feelings. But it wasn't suicidal feelings this time.

I am not suicidal at all. When I was wanting to depart, I was wanting the higher self to take me out. I wouldn't have done it myself.

Lately I've been feeling more pressure on my heart chakra. Like I know they are there for me. It isn't lovey/dovey feeling,
but it is pleasant.

[unity100]

There is no rule that says anyone in particular has to repeat 3d. Its very hard to assess one's spiritual development - even one's own. Anyone can be from any particular density. So thats not relevant.

As for living or dying, the question is rather redundant - no entity whose time has really come, stays longer than it should. Universe puts everything in proper place and time, and if someone's time has come to be placed into another incarnation at another time/space point, the entity is placed there. Situations may change depending on how advanced the entity is, and any condition or objectives/desires the entity has - ie, the entity's preference, but in the end this also alters the necessity of keeping living or being placed somewhere else, so the rule about being at proper place and time at a given time stays valid.

Its all about where one is, and where one wants to go, and whether s/he is walking forward or not. For this incarnation is as valid as any other incarnation, and there is a spiritual road to be traveled.

[Agua]

removed