I Love You

[Coordinate_Apotheosis]

Even if you became the greatest monster I would still love you.  It doesn't have to change anything.  It just doesn't.

And at the end of it all, I want you to know, that you are the reason why I will never stop loving, even as my last bits of love are squeezed out of me, it will remain in some other way at some other time across the continuum of 'always'.

You are the reason, that I am not afraid.  The greatest monster pales before your destructive passion, and my love is as a germ upon a planet to you.

Yet you remain with me, even as you are so far away.  I still feel you, even as you disappear from me.

I love you.

And I will always forgive you.

One, Infinite, Creator.

[AnthroHeart]

Quite a nice message to wake up to around 2am. Thank you. I love you too.

I used to tell my dad when I went to sleep:

Good Night
I Love You
See You Tomorrow

[Coordinate_Apotheosis]

Have my Gentle Love playlist in my itunes.











I think about myself in somewhat bad ways mostly because I don't want to just pretend like everything is okay.  I don't want to become disillusioned with belief that I am normal or that life is typical.  I find I am damaged, and that life is atypical-- and often times I don't understand how to cope with it, and I find I have no one to speak with of it.  So, I know I'm not the smartest person-- I know I'm stupid with dumb ideas and crazy opinions and blind kindness, very blind...I was thinking of my old cat, Clem.  How him and Zona, my still alive cat, both have...Had come to love me so much.  I grew up with them, and as a child I was a bit rough with both of them...I don't even want to share it because I feel still pretty ashamed of myself, so anyway, even after all of that, they still have come to love me so much, enough to be noticeable...  I remember a few days before Clem died, almost like a synchronicity, I tried to give him a piece of coldcut chicken or turkey, because he loved them so much and I didn't really ever let him have many.  And he couldn't eat it.  So I just laid there with him and pet him because he wasn't really walking or active anymore, he was pretty close.  And even then, he still found the strength to purr even if it was croaks, and to stand up and flip over so I could pet him on the other side.

That's the kind of love that sort of just melts through you.  I miss him.

But that love surely taught me something.  We think we only give to 2D, but they provide so much more in return than we might ever realize.  Their love shows us what awaits us when we leave the veil, they teach us how to love.

I'm glad for a lot of things, and I have to believe that he was more than just an unreal holographic illusion of a portion of consciousness in a costume, I need to believe he was Clem, and always will be Clem, because, he's important to me.  That his love will always be alive in some way, and real and well.

I have to believe, because a world, an existence without Clem is...Intolerable.

So I hope, and I get mad at God often still, at People, wondering, why?  Why did we have to make it so hard?  Why couldn't I have just been more aware sooner, spent more time with him instead of so little...So little time.  I didn't spent enough time with him.  My whole life, and it wasn't enough.  I didn't figure it out soon enough.  The Clem I knew, was never bathed in love the way I wanted him to be, the way I try to do now in my mind of him.  I tally this as one of my greater failures in life.  And I often wonder why another had to suffer and be alone all because I was unaware.  I wonder why I am so angry at others for doing that very thing to me when I force it upon them usually, and more so, when I did the exact same thing to those I love the most.  And again it comes down to feeling like a monster.

So I just keep looking for Love, and I keep telling myself it's going to be okay, that Clem is alive in some way out there, and one day I'll get to see him again, and apologize, and do better...I'll do better...  And I keep trying to believe.

How much him and Zona have taught me about Love.  Perhaps they were my guides all along...

I love them.  I think I love them more than most people actually.  They're my best friends.  My comforting family.  My companions who brings me joy.

So, I try to honor them, especially Clem.  Especially Clem...

I miss him so much...I miss him...

[AnthroHeart]

I give my dog Loki so much love that after a bit he gets up and walks off on his own. Still, I'm probably going to feel like when he's gone it wasn't enough.

Here's a loving song that I like, based on Final Fantasy VII. It's Red XIII's theme.

[Cainite]

I wanted to post this thread earlier!

I love all... but recently somebody betrayed me.. I sent him money to make a native american flute for me and he disappeared.. I haven't been angered or became unloving in two years. (two years ago my brother in law betrayed me.. then I forgave him)
I hope I can forgive this new person too. I had borrowed the money I sent him.. and need much more money to buy musical equipment..

anyways I LOVE YOU

[rva_jeremy]

I love you all.