Life Review & Judgment

[SunlitDoves]

Lately, I have been traveling through this Earthy world stage in life review. Motifs of judgment/reaping have been filling up my reality in consequence. I am not implying that the motifs are anything but coming from myself. But I perceive right now that it makes sense to remain open to the idea that the potential exists for it to be something from beyond the immediate, individual self.

This all seemed to become very deep once a catalyst appeared. There is of course a lot of details and other catalysts I must leave out for the purpose of posting and having potential readers.
I remember a very deep mushroom trip that I experienced that is intimately connected. I experience mushrooms as catalysts of the imagination and beyond. I experience them to bring up that which has been suppressed, and so on and so forth.
This trip seemed to bring up a lot from deep within me.
It acted upon my awareness to guide me through experiences of existing beyond humanlike expression.
Eventually during that trip, I experienced distortions of a judging god looking in me which caused feelings of the awareness being angry at/with me.
I experienced the awareness of what I'd describe as judgment.
Ever since then, it seems as if the awareness of "judgment" has been filling up my reality.
In some times, the judgment really impacts me negatively. Sometimes this happens to the point that I feel like my body is going to die unless I correct to what the force from judgment considers to be a right path.
This has been a very strange experience for me because of how spirituality interacts with me. I haven't always been on a spiritual path. I was suddenly awakened by awareness beyond the immediate, individual self I was used to. Ever since then there seems to have been a tremendous amount of awareness, effort, guidance, and assertiveness in keeping me aligned to my path.
When this intertwines with the aspects of my life that judgment appears to be applicable at, it seems to be a mechanism to scare me straight as if I need that catalyst.
Needless to say, I think I have a lot of distortions/illusions around all of this.
I feel very ignorant to the truth of what this all means, and there seems to be a lesson within that I need.
A lot of it seems to be unconscious, and maybe it is from other lives.
I will really appreciate anyone's perspective of the distortions/illusions that I have been experiencing.

Would a positive polarity being ever use "negativity" as catalysts?

[AnthroHeart]

I've felt I was of positive polarity, and have definitely used negativity as catalyst. I have been so negative and judgmental of myself. I don't believe it is an external god that judges us. We are the gods that judge ourselves when we finally have the life review. The life review is a non-linear view at how we have impacted others in our life. It is totally simultaneous, meaning we can pull any moment in time at any moment.

I've been scared too, though I've never done shrooms. I imagine them to be much like DMT which I have done, though maybe more profound. I think you're doing well. There is a tendency to overthink this stuff. We are far along our chosen path before we are consciously aware of that path, according to Ra.

[Aureus]

Sounds like you have some work to do(assuming you have at least heard of the color-rays):

Red: Safety, virility, stabilty. Feeling alive(not like dying).
Orange: Relaxed and in tune with yourself.
Yellow: Positive outlook on the future(planning ahead), ability to connect with others, the will to sprint etc.

These first rays are often over-looked. Bit sad cause they are the foundation on which you build the higher ones.

How are they worked you ask? There are probably hundreds of ways of varying efficiacy. I've found meditation to be the highway though.

[Bring4th_Austin]

Lately, I have been traveling through this Earthy world stage in life review. Motifs of judgment/reaping have been filling up my reality in consequence. I am not implying that the motifs are anything but coming from myself. But I perceive right now that it makes sense to remain open to the idea that the potential exists for it to be something from beyond the immediate, individual self.

This all seemed to become very deep once a catalyst appeared. There is of course a lot of details and other catalysts I must leave out for the purpose of posting and having potential readers.
I remember a very deep mushroom trip that I experienced that is intimately connected. I experience mushrooms as catalysts of the imagination and beyond. I experience them to bring up that which has been suppressed, and so on and so forth.
This trip seemed to bring up a lot from deep within me.
It acted upon my awareness to guide me through experiences of existing beyond humanlike expression.
Eventually during that trip, I experienced distortions of a judging god looking in me which caused feelings of the awareness being angry at/with me.
I experienced the awareness of what I'd describe as judgment.
Ever since then, it seems as if the awareness of "judgment" has been filling up my reality.
In some times, the judgment really impacts me negatively. Sometimes this happens to the point that I feel like my body is going to die unless I correct to what the force from judgment considers to be a right path.
This has been a very strange experience for me because of how spirituality interacts with me. I haven't always been on a spiritual path. I was suddenly awakened by awareness beyond the immediate, individual self I was used to. Ever since then there seems to have been a tremendous amount of awareness, effort, guidance, and assertiveness in keeping me aligned to my path.
When this intertwines with the aspects of my life that judgment appears to be applicable at, it seems to be a mechanism to scare me straight as if I need that catalyst.
Needless to say, I think I have a lot of distortions/illusions around all of this.
I feel very ignorant to the truth of what this all means, and there seems to be a lesson within that I need.
A lot of it seems to be unconscious, and maybe it is from other lives.
I will really appreciate anyone's perspective of the distortions/illusions that I have been experiencing.

Would a positive polarity being ever use "negativity" as catalysts?

Thank you for sharing this interesting experience and catalyst. A couple things came to mind when reading it.

You said that this mushroom trip brought things forward from deep within you, and then you talk about experiencing a sort of judging god during the trip. I'm unsure of whether you intend to describe your experience of the judging god being an aspect of yourself which was brought about by the experience, or whether you feel it is a literal other being which is offering you judgment.

Mushrooms and similar types of psychedelic drugs have an ability to put us in touch with our deep unconscious mind, within which lies much mystery of ourselves and beyond ourselves. Trying to tell the difference between something that is part of us versus something that is outside of us, while in this state, can be difficult. In my opinion, in such situations where we are put into close contact with our unconscious mind, it is safest to assume that we are interacting with an aspect of our own being, sometimes projected to seem like an external being, or in this case, a judging god. Especially due to the nature of tripping on a substance, which is sort of forcing this state, the mind will disown various aspects which it is not yet ready to incorporate and make it seem like an object rather that part of the subject of your being.

In this sense, it's very possible that the judgmental god which you experienced is a part of your own being which you have been put in touch with due to the experience on shrooms. The experience possibly opened a sort of doorway from your conscious mind to your unconscious which has stayed open, and so the formerly hidden feelings of judgment have been seeping through. This seems to be a common theme while using drugs which force such direct access to the unconscious mind - they can be a blessing and a curse. A blessing in the sense that we become so much more aware of what was formerly hidden, a curse because sometimes things were hidden because we were not quite yet ready to integrate them into our being.

You ask, "Would a positive polarity being ever use 'negativity' as catalysts?"

I would say that a positive polarity being would use any catalyst that is presented to it. Experiencing negativity is a catalyst like any other, and can be utilized to integrate the self and become a more balanced and polarized being. However, if you mean to say "Would a positive polarity being every use 'negativity' to keep one on their path and scare them away from doing something wrong," I would not necessarily agree with that.

I don't know if it is the case with your own spirituality, but often judgment is (ironically) condemned on many spiritual paths. Judgment is seen as a negative thing and thus, if one finds oneself being judgmental, they will (again ironically) judge themselves to be failing upon their spiritual path, and possibly feel shame for feeling judgment. When judgment itself is judged as being bad, it can cause judgment to be repressed and unconscious, buried so we no longer feel the shame of being judgmental and yet it still exists in our being, still expresses itself through us in various unconscious ways, perhaps as a judging god seen in a psychedelic experience or consistent negative feelings of judgment towards oneself. Again, I don't know if this is especially applicable to you, but it is generally a common thing that many people upon a spiritual path struggle with, as common trait adopted after starting on one's spiritual path is the desire to release judgment of others (which is inseparable from judgment of self).

But releasing habits, especially one's so ingrained in our society (and even physical evolution) such as judgment aren't always so easy, so it is easy to fall into the repression I mentioned in order to feel as though we are progressing well upon our chosen path.

So I think judgment can be a very tricky thing. The best way I can make sense of it is to look at it in the sense that there can be healthy judgment and unhealthy judgment, as the term "judgment" can carry different connotations based on context and application. Ra says:

5.2
The second mental discipline is acceptance of the completeness within your consciousness. It is not for a being of polarity in the physical consciousness to pick and choose among attributes, thus building the roles that cause blockages and confusions in the already-distorted mind complex. Each acceptance smoothes part of the many distortions that the faculty you call judgment engenders.

It is in this sense that I think your negative feelings of judgment aren't necessarily directly useful for progression upon a spiritual path, as feeling these judgments as negative seems to speak of the type of judgment Ra speaks of here. If we judge ourselves negatively (even for judging itself), it can "engender many distortions." It causes us to repress, rather than address, aspects of ourselves that we deem appropriate - or as Ra would say, it causes us to "pick and choose among attributes."

But how can judgment be positive?

While Ra is saying that judgment has a detrimental effect on the spiritual path here, one of the strongest themes in the Law of One have to do with The Choice. Essentially, choosing how to use our expanding awareness, whether to accept or control our environment and our catalyst. What is choosing if not judging? By choosing positive acceptance, aren't we judging it to be better (for us) than negative control?

Yes, I think we are. But I believe the key difference in positive and negative judgment is an aspect of condemnation. If we judge and condemn, I believe this is the type of judgement Ra says will engender distortion. If we judge without condemnation (some people prefer to call it discern rather than judge), then I think this is how we make The Choice and determine our service, how we process our catalyst, and how to best proceed upon our chosen spiritual path.

The negative feelings you have seem to me to speak of condemnation. If there is condemnation of action, feelings, thoughts, or emotions, and this condemnation is how you are determining how to act, I do not believe this is how a positive or integrative being would healthily evolve upon a spiritual path.

I do think that having negative feelings is useful, normal, and proper though. These negative feelings can lead you deeper within yourself and help you understand the hidden aspects of yourself. Whatever you feel that causes you to receive negative feelings of judgment. Even the negative feeling of judgment itself, as well as whatever catalyst brought the judgment forward, could be explored and analyzed as a catalyst. I feel like this type of response and analyzation is what Ra discusses here:

41.19
The key to balance may then be seen in the unstudied, spontaneous, and honest response of entities toward experiences, thus using experience to the utmost, then applying the balancing exercises and achieving the proper attitude for the most purified spectrum of energy center manifestation in violet ray.

49.4
However, this same ability to structure abstract concepts and to analyze experiential data may be the key to rapid positive polarization. It may be said that those whose analytical capacities are predominant have somewhat more to work with in polarizing.

18.5
It is, shall we say, a shortcut to simply ignore or overcome any desire. It must instead be understood and accepted. This takes patience and experience which can be analyzed with care, with compassion for self and for other-self.

One of the key components I think is when Ra says "with compassion for self." This seems to me to speak of the type of judgment that does not use condemnation. Discernment of self, being able to be honest with oneself about one's own feelings, thoughts, and actions, without feeling judgment towards oneself, and instead feeling compassion. We can choose to interpret a situation, transform our being, and alter our behavior without condemning our old interpretation, our old being, or our old behavior.

I don't know if any of this is applicable to your specific situation, SunlitDoves, but it is what came to mind when I read about your experience. I hope it is helpful to you, and if not to you, perhaps to someone else who may read this.

[Alex from Greece]

As we read/write, huge bursts of Love are splashing onto Earth and we hardly realize.

Creator does not judge.
Only judges judge and we have impressions that we can also. So we do.

Awaiting us, are tricksters, at the end of this life. They (among other things) promote a "reflecting" upon various actions of the past. At that moment the Higher Self awaits and does not interrupt. It is a critical level of "free will". Seven billion of us are longing for the return back home but judgment is always waiting. Subtle (well...) social conditioning has made judgment the End All thingy. It is a phase. a phase that can last a split second, or, "an" eternity.

Austin, Aureus, GW, SunlitDoves, you are all right in all ways. But let us not forget this very very important part of incarnation. We are (in a way) the roots of Higher Self and we have a say in the end.

Higher Self not only knows all this but smiles and helps spread the Love in all these... um, density places whatever.

Love you Gaia.

Love you all.

Peace,
Alex.

[Crusoe]

Alex, I'd just like to say that that was wonderful.

It's true, we who are on earth now (the "roots" of the higher self as you so poetically elucidate), are the ones who make the Ultimate Choice. I'd forgotten the clarity of that truth, but you expressed it in such a clear way…

As for negativity as catalyst: Of course! A dark frame of mind or dwelling on the negative can certainly be used to reach greater polarity. I find that some of my greatest breakthroughs in self-realization are when I've been "down" in some way, and then realized that my situation was created entirely by myself.

It's like the old saying goes, the light as more meaning when set beside the dark. Not sure if that helps — Feeling stream-of-consciousness-y.

[Elotology]

As we read/write, huge bursts of Love are splashing onto Earth and we hardly realize.

Creator does not judge.
Only judges judge and we have impressions that we can also. So we do.

That is a risky assumption to make...

...what if the creator in fact DOES judge? What will you do then?

Do you have any hard evidence so support the view that the creator does not judge?

I mean humans judge. Even animals judge. Everything judges and has standarts that need to be met. Even the earth.

So your thesis that the creator does not judge seems very unfounded to me. And a very risky assumption to make. - After All the afterlife is based on what the creator intended and this life is only very short.

[Plenum]

Would a positive polarity being ever use "negativity" as catalysts?

can you give some examples of things that you would consider 'negative' in your life?