Opening up

[gramboginn]

Hey folks,

My story is on the personal wanderer stories page so I won't relay it here. I'm 48 now and I go to work each day in a field that pays pretty well but brings little joy. I feel this strong urge to work in hospice or death transition as my overall desire is to remove the fear of death from my fellow human's minds. I have visited a light worker from time to time and every time I do i come away with this fantasy feeling of helping millions remove fear. It's quite overwhelming to me. I almost think I should be working one of one with those given their death sentences due to cancer or other illnesses. I watched the 60 minutes episode from about 3 weeks ago that talked about high doses of psilocybin to help those facing death to live the rest of their days on earth with a much happier outlook, looking forward to the transition etc. I have a great life but I really turn on and activate when doing yoga or meditating. In the morning when I arrive at work I say hello to everyone in the elevator. I wish everyone a nice day. I pay attention to the building janitors that no one acknowledges and I say hi or speak to them in Spanish and engage them and smile to them letting them know I deeply care.

This is my daily life but I feel this draw to helping the dying but I have zero formal training, i'm not a doctor, I'm not a psychotherapist and I'm not a trained healer...I just know how to passionately speak to people in need and share my passion for what's to come. Would love some guidance for someone in my shoes.

Have a great day,

Grambo

[Diana]

I definitely think you should listen to these prompts. I actually had a similar idea but I was wanting to start a nonprofit to do it. And I think it's great that you spread so much kindness in your dally life.

I have some thoughts on the subject based on my experience (none of which takes into consideration what you may or may not have figured out for yourself):

Very few people can talk to the dying appropriately in my opinion. What is most important (in my opinion) is to allow the dying person to lead the conversations, to express what they need to express. If you watch people trying to talk to the dying, they are usually nervous or embarrassed, don't know what to say, express platitudes and false optimism, and relate their own fears energetically. When I talk to the dying, I just listen without fear and ask them questions about the things they are talking about, to encourage them to express whatever they have bottled up. 

I would be careful about proselytizing as Christians do. You would not be there to tell them what your beliefs are (unless you are asked, and then, make sure you are NOT telling them to convince them). What you believe will be communicated energetically, because you will not be projecting fear. Make sure YOU are not in the equation. It's important to follow their lead, not wait for the opportunity to explain what you think happens after death. It is an organic process of what to say because it revolves around the person dying and that can't be prepared for—but the key is to have your focus on the dying person, not on your beliefs (which ARE there anyway). 

Your authentic presence will communicate itself to a dying person energetically, and like an anchor, help to stabilize the chaos of facing the transition of death. And if the dying person is open to your beliefs and asked you to relate them, just be careful not to be in "convince" mode. 

My advice is to start volunteering at Hospice. Open the door to this new path, and see where it goes.

[gramboginn]

Well said. At 48 I know to listen first. I know not to proselytize because it's such a turnoff when it happens to me. The wagging of a finger in my face feels like both sides of the political argument these days...barf.

I will reach out to the local hospices here in Houston as they abound due to the massive swell of dying folks due to dietary habits. My mother volunteered and so will I to see where it might lead to.

Thanks for the mature response and insight.

[Glow]

I’m on a similar path. I’m starting by volunteering at an old age home.
Even that is the path because these people all know they are slowly moving towards the inevitable.
They just have more time to process it if they are willing.

For me it isn’t just fear of death that is neglected in society but also giving people a safe experience to really be seen, expose all their life regrets and horrors. Be witnessed as the beautiful complex being they are. Often people never truly express these things to anyone and having a compassionate loving non judgemental person to get it off their chest to is a step towards self forgiveness and compassion.Fir the beautiful stories a chance to review and sort it out in their mind/heart.

To do that just being around the elderly or sick and letting them know you are a safe place is all you need opportunity wise. They will happily get it off their chest if you bring the energy and listen.

Glad there are more of us being called to this as shadow work hasn’t been largely undertaken so people take all sorts of stuff to their death experience. Lighten the load on their hearts and walking with them seems like something needed badly at this time.

I’m not sure where you are but there is a program called no one dies alone where volunteers sit with people in shifts who are on their death beds and do not have family. Obviously hospice volunteers are needed. Just make sure you are doing your constant healing on yourself so we don’t bring our own wounds to their time of need. Love to you.

There are lots of branches across the USA and some in Canada.

[flofrog]

I find all of you very enthralling with your questions and answers...

[Glow]

You too Flo. I just read your reply on the other thread and realized I miss you. It was just nice to read your words.
We need to get more convos going I guess.
Love to you all.

[flofrog]

I miss you all !! I have been so busy so I had less time to visit this place which I love....
But that's it I will visit daily !!! lol

I wanted to add : gramboginn I love your posts !!
Always always interesting views and questions !

If you decide to follow the desire to work this way, that will be an awesome service

[kristina]

You too Flo. I just read your reply on the other thread and realized I miss you. It was just nice to read your words.
We need to get more convos going I guess.
Love to you all.

I've been so busy working on what is in front of me and paying such close attention to my mental and emotional self I have been neglecting the forum. I miss all those juicy convos that used to be in the forum. Ummm not the bickering conversations but the conversations we all have learned from. But hey! We should all be living our lives and lost in the moment, right? Eventually, we all report back!
I love you all as well....
So glad to see you back Flo! So much love emanates from your very presence!

[gramboginn]

I miss you all !!  I have been so busy so I had less time to visit this place which I love....
But that's it  I will visit daily !!!  lol

I wanted to add :  gramboginn  I love your posts !!
Always always interesting views and questions !  

If you decide to follow the desire to work this way, that will be an awesome service

Awwww Flo, so nice to meet you dear. What a great photo of you with that healthy green plant behind you! Thank you for your kind words.

[gramboginn]

I’m not sure where you are but there is a program called no one dies alone where volunteers sit with people in shifts who are on their death beds and do not have family. Obviously hospice volunteers are needed. Just make sure you are doing your constant healing on yourself so we don’t bring our own wounds to their time of need. Love to you.

There are lots of branches across the USA and some in Canada.

Reached out to Memorial Hermann here in Houston. They have a huge need since this is such a robust medical district. I signed up on their portal and look forward to a response. Thank you SO much.

Perhaps you all share this same reaction as I. Whenever someone I know dies I'm always very sedate, stable if you will, and not sorrowful. I know what has happened and it's a reason to be joyful, not sad, but alas, most organized western religions make death into an end and a sad one at that. I've been to a lot of funerals and everyone is just crushed and bawling and there I am calm as a clam and just smiling. I'm sure everyone around me thinks I'm cruel but I have seen and experienced the other side and I just "know" that everything is perfect at that moment.

Do my fellow wanderers feel the same way? I will say I was briefly sad about my mother's passing but I knew that I needed to get through it quickly so she could say goodbye to me the way she really wanted to (she died of Frontotemporal Lobal Dementia) and I know that it bothered her the way she turned into a mindless corpse at the end. She visited me as a 30 year old angel of light in a dream 4 months later and reassured me that all was well and she had transitioned quickly. it's funny how the recently departed return in a "body" that you have the greatest memories of. She was so dear to me and used to make a "nest" for me when I was sick as a kid (chicken pox, flu, cold etc) out on a sunning chair during the days i was at home. She'd bring me down into her bedroom and put me in bed next to her while dad was at work and we'd watch Mister Rogers and then she'd put me outside in the Sun thinking that was restorative and it was...I would heal quickly. She came to me in that form after her passing and I just knew that would happen to me. I asked her in this encounter if she needed anything, anything at all because, at the time, I was an airline pilot and traveling all around the country. i didn't want to watch my mother die since she was such a strong and beautiful creature. I distanced myself from her during her last days and left it to my brother to face the inevitable. I was so mad at myself about what I did that when she returned to me in my dream I begged her to "tell me if she needed anything, if I could GET her anything" and she just smiled and laughed and said "sure"...and I said "ANYTHING, ANYTHING at all! What? What?" She said, "a cup of coffee" and the guilt was immediately absorbed back into the light, my sorrow was over and that was it. A gorgeous golden light enveloped her and I woke the next day and told my wife I was through bereavement.

[flofrog]

This is just so lovely gramboginn...

guilt is so unnecessary, I mean its nice to feel guilty for three seconds after something and think, ok I shan't do that next time, but otherwise guilt is so unnecessary. In your case gramboginn, lol, she was so right and so funny !!!!!

[Diana]

Perhaps you all share this same reaction as I.  Whenever someone I know dies I'm always very sedate, stable if you will, and not sorrowful.  I know what has happened and it's a reason to be joyful, not sad, but alas, most organized western religions make death into an end and a sad one at that.  I've been to a lot of funerals and everyone is just crushed and bawling and there I am calm as a clam and just smiling.  I'm sure everyone around me thinks I'm cruel but I have seen and experienced the other side and I just "know" that everything is perfect at that moment.

I think this oversimplifies things. Death can be very sad for a number of reasons. I don't think everyone at a funeral is crying because they think death is an end. Many cry because they MISS the person who passed on; they now have to be here in this life without that person (companion, spouse, best friend, family member). The person who died may have had a difficult life, and I don't mean just at the end, which can also create sadness for those left behind when they die.

Belief that there is more after death does not necessarily take away all of the pain associated with losing a loved one.

Do my fellow wanderers feel the same way?  I will say I was briefly sad about my mother's passing but I knew that I needed to get through it quickly so she could say goodbye to me the way she really wanted to (she died of Frontotemporal Lobal Dementia) and I know that it bothered her the way she turned into a mindless corpse at the end.  She visited me as a 30 year old angel of light in a dream 4 months later and reassured me that all was well and she had transitioned quickly.  it's funny how the recently departed return in a "body" that you have the greatest memories of.

It's not always the body the living have the greatest memory of that the dead assume when they visit us. My mother is elderly. Last year her mother (my grandmother) visited her for some time, sitting on the edge of my mother's bed (it wasn't in a dream). My grandmother looked about 19 or 20, and was much younger than what my mother might have remembered her to be.

I had a friend who died from AIDS complications. Another friend, who was also close to him and I both dreamt of him after he died, and we both had the same experience. In the first dreams, he looked sick still, or bandaged, but in later dreams he looked healthy again.

It's an interesting phenomenon to explore.

[gramboginn]

I think this oversimplifies things. Death can be very sad for a number of reasons. I don't think everyone at a funeral is crying because they think death is an end. Many cry because they MISS the person who passed on; they now have to be here in this life without that person (companion, spouse, best friend, family member). The person who died may have had a difficult life, and I don't mean just at the end, which can also create sadness for those left behind when they die.

Belief that there is more after death does not necessarily take away all of the pain associated with losing a loved one.

Yeah Diana wasn't able to fully express myself through my primary conversation/post. It's hard to read between the lines in a digital post so I agree with you totally, it's about loss of connection so I empathize. I was just curious about the 'flippancy" I seem to show in a totally un-deliberate way. I walk into a funeral home and I'm like, why the low music and soft talking? My mom had us play Santana at her funeral. I cried every time I heard Europa until my dream and her visit. I agree with your viewpoint.

[kristina]

I think this oversimplifies things. Death can be very sad for a number of reasons. I don't think everyone at a funeral is crying because they think death is an end. Many cry because they MISS the person who passed on; they now have to be here in this life without that person (companion, spouse, best friend, family member). The person who died may have had a difficult life, and I don't mean just at the end, which can also create sadness for those left behind when they die.

Belief that there is more after death does not necessarily take away all of the pain associated with losing a loved one.

Yeah Diana wasn't able to fully express myself through my primary conversation/post.  It's hard to read between the lines in a digital post so I agree with you totally, it's about loss of connection so I empathize.  I was just curious about the 'flippancy" I seem to show in a totally un-deliberate way.  I walk into a funeral home and I'm like, why the low music and soft talking?  My mom had us play Santana at her funeral.  I cried every time I heard Europa until my dream and her visit.  I agree with your viewpoint.  

The low music and the soft talking may be way of being what is called reverent.
The showing of a solemn respect for the mourning family and friends mostly because a lot of them may feel a sadness. An awakened Wanderer may recognize that there is sadness about it and try to allow the room a quiet place, a solemn place in which to heal in their own way. Unless there is another Wanderer who feels rather frivolous at a funeral such as yourself.

[flofrog]

It’s interesting kristina, last night I was reading a part of Michael Newton’s book The Journey of Souls, and in that section it was saying how a soul just after having made transition might hover around seeking to help the sorrow of loved ones and how these few days after transition were important for that soul trying to heal this sorrow, before it departs towards the study of its last incarnation. ( and the rejoice of the other transited souls welcoming her or him back into that place )

[kristina]

It’s interesting kristina, last night I was reading a part of Michael Newton’s book The Journey of Souls, and in that section it was saying how a soul just after having made transition might hover around seeking to help the sorrow of loved ones and how these few days after transition were important for that soul trying to heal this sorrow, before it departs towards the study of its last incarnation. ( and the rejoice of the other transited souls welcoming her or him back into that place  )

Yes! I have read that myself! I feel this is so true as after my Mom passed there were some things that happened around the house that were strange but to me, comical. To my Dad, not so much. I feel most of the time, not always they want to convey to us, that they are fine and live on in a much more real world than this. Grieving is a tricky thing. I feel in my own experience I was quite prepared only to find I wasn't at all.
So, this book said that it was important to the soul who has departed from its body? How wonderful! That resonates deeply with me! I like that a lot and makes a ton of sense!

[sillypumpkins]

It’s interesting kristina, last night I was reading a part of Michael Newton’s book The Journey of Souls, and in that section it was saying how a soul just after having made transition might hover around seeking to help the sorrow of loved ones and how these few days after transition were important for that soul trying to heal this sorrow, before it departs towards the study of its last incarnation. ( and the rejoice of the other transited souls welcoming her or him back into that place  )

[flofrog]

It is interesting and Michael Newton's book is not the only one who reported that, through is work with hypnosis, but elsewhere I remember having been struck by the apparent fact that if a soul is in too deep a sorrow about the loss of a loved one, then it makes it nearly impossible for the departed to pierce that at that time. And some relief will come later, from the departed one, when the sorrow has a bit lifted.

when I wrote little letters to my children for after I have left, I asked them to not be too sad or I couldn't stalk them efficiently !!! lol
I in fact have told them that already and they laughed a lot, the little heartless ones !!!!

[kristina]

It is interesting and Michael Newton's book is not the only one who reported that, through is work with hypnosis, but elsewhere I remember having been struck by the apparent fact that if a soul is in too deep a sorrow about the loss of a loved one, then it makes it nearly impossible for the departed to pierce that at that time.  And some relief will come later, from the departed one,  when the sorrow has a bit lifted.

when I wrote little letters to my children for after I have left, I asked them to not be too sad or I couldn't stalk them efficiently !!!   lol
I in fact have told them that already and they laughed a lot, the little heartless ones !!!!  

Hahahaha! They think...nah. But, it will be a shocker when you appear at their bedsides! Joke's on them!