Negative being/sts attack?

[Surfboard]

So I have come to the conclusion that I was/am being attacked by a negative being.

In my mind I find myself repeating this incarnation over and over again.

But I feel it would be impossible to know if you are repeating an incarnation since the mind would be erased as the soul was rewound except for 2 reasons.

1. It is a lesson

2. It is manipulation from a negative higher density being

I lean towards number 2 because when I think deep down about my experiences, It strikes fear in me that i feel I'm in a never ending cycle.

If it is a lesson, the rest is mysterious. I can't think deep down or meditate deeply, I can't smoke marijuana or have orgasms especially tantric. This clears my mind and relaxes my brain giving me insane focus on the energy which flows through my head.

Although this may sound great, I have Crohn's disease which is ulcerative colitis in my colon. Concentration using multiple parts of my brain at once inflames my Crohn's...

I find that I just have to experience life and follow my gut feeling, but i know that my fear of the unknown and the known is too strong causing thought patterns which lead me to not learning the lesson I came here to.

I don't know what I'm looking for because even if a suggestion is made, I feel fear will cause me to think differently.

[AnthroHeart]

What worked for me was challenging the being in the Christ Consciousness, or whatever highest positive concept you believe in.
It closes out negative influences above the crown chakra.