Feeling lonely

[Cainite]

Removed.

[Cainite]

Removed.

[Glow]

You are obviously in a really tough spot right now so just go easy on yourself. Try not to over think things.

First things first rest, eat, nurture yourself. I'm sorry you are feeling lonely, as you come out of the old life and into the new you will build new connections. Don't worry. Better days ahead.

Do you think the lonely is what you tried to hide from with the morphine? It is a lonely world but I think a lot of us are meant to do time alone so we can heal and learn, turn inward, then when ready new opportunities and people come into meet that new being we have become.

Ive finally made it there. Even a month ago I felt stuck in that sense of isolation. I managed one of the large healing points necessary for me to be strongly of service and suddenly people are coming out of the woodwork. Looking to connect not only emotionally but needing to connect spiritually. Push through, stay the course, heal along side us and new doors will open.
You are being prepared for something, but we need to prepare and thats what this time turning inward is for.

You are not alone. One of US is always here.

[Sprout]

If you could see beyond the veil, I am sure you would find many who are there for you. This distance that seems to seperate you from you and others is but an illusion for the appreciation that we are all surrounded by the creators love and light. Try and imagine the sun that is shining all this warmth on us, the earth that keeps us safe in its womb, showing us all these other bright suns all around us in the night sky saying "look, you are not alone.."

[Coordinate_Apotheosis]

Glow nailed it.
2013 was spent mostly working day shifts, then I went to overnight shifts.

Now eventually that became isolating and traumatically devoid of other's presence, I only saw my own mother I live with for an hour or three at the most a day, we'd talk maybe 20-30 minutes.  It was horrifying realizing how alone I had become.

But that all began in 2015.  BEFORE all that madness went down, I found the alone time to be Solitude.

I would get home from work, eat, smoke hookah, weed, then meditate and read the Law of One.  On my nights off I walked around at 3am, smoked in the dark of my backyard with the only light source being red hot coals on my hookah and my phone blaringly bright with the Ra Material up or one of Carla's books.

That alone time, that Solitude before it became Isolation was profoundly healing.  I found myself.  And then my ego up and rebirthed.  For the first time in my life I felt complete.  Perfect.  I was me, I knew me, I knew what I wanted, I was no longer angry, and my depression was confined to sorrow for others pain and suffering.

By 2014 I felt like my soul self was coming though finally at last.

My greatest error was not taking control of my life in those times.  I was content to drift and coast along, instead of asking new better opportunities in that opportune time, I stuck at my crappy gas station job, stagnated, began growing overly ripe, then isolation set in rotting me out.  Had I just found a better job, and became a security guard like the universe was pushing me to be I could've transitioned to a better schedule, reconnected with friends and maybe even make other friends and just made me life less lonely and saturated with isolation.

Don't forget to think about yourself.  I was so caught up in servicing others that I didn't pay attention to my own life, and before I knew it, I was in Hell.

So it isn't very important to think about yourself too.  You're technically an-other to yourself too (Unless the soul does identify with the ego), so you need to focus on servicing yourself too.