02-13-2016, 08:46 AM
As a child I have always had a sense of purpose. I felt that I was meant to do great things or even just one single great thing in service to others. A feeling that my consciousness was significant. Of course I didn't know what the term "consciousness" was by this worlds definition, at my young age. It was more like a curious, constantly learning and hypothesizing, real piece of me, that I knew as factual and very much material. It has always been very real and questionable for me at the same time. Like dipping into a dark abyss and I can only see certain things because my flashlight keeps flickering. As I go further in space/time/life, more of my unsymbolized thoughts become symbolized, some are forgotten, others are put off for another time, or they are at the edge waiting for me to uncover them. I have just now learned of phenomenology. I have more to study on it within and outside of myself. That is probably why all of what I am putting down may seem so "scattered", for you and I both. I am just trying to keep up with my thoughts by recording them as efficiently as I am capable to, and in an understandable thought sequence. I may put some thoughts(threads) that don't seem to have a place yet. But I feel I must record everything I possibly can no matter what, the relevance will be uncovered at one point or another. If I am needed to elaborate, I will gladly do my best however I can. Just inquire. I am just hoping that you are picking up what I am laying down ?. That phrase reminds me of my father. Either because he has said it specifically, or it's just the essence of it. Like how a smell can remind you of something, but you cant actually remember what that something is. But it warms my being to make such a connection to my father. He is special to me such a way that I cannot explain. A bond that I have so much more respect for now, for a genetic reason, but more so because of how he has positively and intentionally molded me in his own way. It's a true gesture that means a great deal to me for more reasons than I know. RESPECT. I bet if/when I practice and hone in on it, that I can literally see our bond. Its like a bright rope of light and power, tied around us both that keeps us connected. kewwll!
I am rambling, Wandering, hiking, exploring, and trying to differentiate all of my senses into their rightful categories to figure out how to awaken the grand pieces of myself. This way I can serve the infinite, so truly and positively for all to feel. With intention that all may understand, similarly positively. It is a beacon of light that I can see through the night and fog.
I had a dream when I was eighteen that has spurred and strengthen the underlying hypothesis of what I believe to be my truth in everything. I am going to recall all I can even if it carries no weight in this dimension, I am sure it does in my dream. In this dream I am traveling through nature. I am with a small group of people, I don't yet remember anything significant about them, yet. Just that we are all going together for some unknown reason. It is all good between us. We are existing side by side, actually feeling the other in spirit with admiration. We come upon a land inhabiting a different race. Not that race is a factor into equality, because that could not be more false. Like walking under a big old carnival sign into a new plane. There is no fear of entering the unknown. On the outside it looked like a rest stop bathroom. Inside it even had stalls without doors. Flickering lights on the ceiling, puddles of stagnant water in the floor and mold growing between the cracks of the walls. The beings inside here are angry and hurt. They aren't human. They are at least ten feet tall, and blue/grey in their complexion. They greatly resemble Van Gogh's painting, "The old guitarist " I have an instinct to heal, and they can physically see and understand that instinct. They desire my cleansing, and ask for me as I also ask for them. I enter and walk up to one of the old guitarist. I levitate so that we are eye to eye, and I place my hand on their head. I get rid of the anger and negative energy in all of them. In my dream I understand exactly what I am doing, and exactly how to do it properly. I am not traveling just to spend my gift, it's not boastful. Although, when the time/need/position opens in the pathways, my gift will be spent. They accept my healing to the fullest and become more in being. They are so thankful and joyous. To me, each other and themselves. My gratification was unimaginable. We celebrated together.
When I awoke from my dream, I was instantly pumped. I couldn't believe the richness of it all. How it called to me. How it didn't linger, but lifted me so boldly. It couldn't be ignored and why should it be? I had to tell everyone about my dream. I go on to my day job at a fast food restaurant giddy as ever. I made people listen to my dream. I don't know how they interpreted it, but my glow and energy was enough to make them want to listen. To want to feel how I looked around me. My aura could be seen without being seen. My light. It is the greatest day thus far in my life. I am not sure if mainly from the dream, or if from sharing my dream. I believe that it's both. You don't get one without the other. I know stronger than ever, I am meant to serve others. I do it for them, and also, uunknowingl/knowingly for myself. Again, you don't get one without the other.
I am still trying to interpret this dream and use it. I think I may be an intuitive empath. This is my awakening.
Its been seven years since my dream and I can't stand the time between now, and that day. Mainly because I feel as though I haven't been working towards that dream. I need help with my ego, my grounding and so much more. I try to please people so much that because I haven't fully developed my gift, I end up getting overwhelmed by the energy that soak up. I don't know how to destroy pictures in my mind. I allow unwanted energy inside my body space. I can read/feel energy, but it's like trying to focus on a single pixel among many others while also getting s*** thrown at me by monkeys. But I can't move away from the monkey's pitch.
I have doubts about sharing because I know I seem crazy. Focusing on these small bits that keep me chasing my tail and speaking in too many metaphors because I don't know how else I can explain the sensations.
I am rambling, Wandering, hiking, exploring, and trying to differentiate all of my senses into their rightful categories to figure out how to awaken the grand pieces of myself. This way I can serve the infinite, so truly and positively for all to feel. With intention that all may understand, similarly positively. It is a beacon of light that I can see through the night and fog.
I had a dream when I was eighteen that has spurred and strengthen the underlying hypothesis of what I believe to be my truth in everything. I am going to recall all I can even if it carries no weight in this dimension, I am sure it does in my dream. In this dream I am traveling through nature. I am with a small group of people, I don't yet remember anything significant about them, yet. Just that we are all going together for some unknown reason. It is all good between us. We are existing side by side, actually feeling the other in spirit with admiration. We come upon a land inhabiting a different race. Not that race is a factor into equality, because that could not be more false. Like walking under a big old carnival sign into a new plane. There is no fear of entering the unknown. On the outside it looked like a rest stop bathroom. Inside it even had stalls without doors. Flickering lights on the ceiling, puddles of stagnant water in the floor and mold growing between the cracks of the walls. The beings inside here are angry and hurt. They aren't human. They are at least ten feet tall, and blue/grey in their complexion. They greatly resemble Van Gogh's painting, "The old guitarist " I have an instinct to heal, and they can physically see and understand that instinct. They desire my cleansing, and ask for me as I also ask for them. I enter and walk up to one of the old guitarist. I levitate so that we are eye to eye, and I place my hand on their head. I get rid of the anger and negative energy in all of them. In my dream I understand exactly what I am doing, and exactly how to do it properly. I am not traveling just to spend my gift, it's not boastful. Although, when the time/need/position opens in the pathways, my gift will be spent. They accept my healing to the fullest and become more in being. They are so thankful and joyous. To me, each other and themselves. My gratification was unimaginable. We celebrated together.
When I awoke from my dream, I was instantly pumped. I couldn't believe the richness of it all. How it called to me. How it didn't linger, but lifted me so boldly. It couldn't be ignored and why should it be? I had to tell everyone about my dream. I go on to my day job at a fast food restaurant giddy as ever. I made people listen to my dream. I don't know how they interpreted it, but my glow and energy was enough to make them want to listen. To want to feel how I looked around me. My aura could be seen without being seen. My light. It is the greatest day thus far in my life. I am not sure if mainly from the dream, or if from sharing my dream. I believe that it's both. You don't get one without the other. I know stronger than ever, I am meant to serve others. I do it for them, and also, uunknowingl/knowingly for myself. Again, you don't get one without the other.
I am still trying to interpret this dream and use it. I think I may be an intuitive empath. This is my awakening.
Its been seven years since my dream and I can't stand the time between now, and that day. Mainly because I feel as though I haven't been working towards that dream. I need help with my ego, my grounding and so much more. I try to please people so much that because I haven't fully developed my gift, I end up getting overwhelmed by the energy that soak up. I don't know how to destroy pictures in my mind. I allow unwanted energy inside my body space. I can read/feel energy, but it's like trying to focus on a single pixel among many others while also getting s*** thrown at me by monkeys. But I can't move away from the monkey's pitch.
I have doubts about sharing because I know I seem crazy. Focusing on these small bits that keep me chasing my tail and speaking in too many metaphors because I don't know how else I can explain the sensations.
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