Misunderstandings

[upensmoke]

misunderstandings are one of the few things in this world that still effect me. Am i the only one who feels grief(i think its grief) when misunderstood ?
a wise quote i once saw.    "You must first seek to understand before you can be understood."   I always took it as, do your best to understand the other person before you try and explain yourself. 
Because of that i tend to blame myself when people misunderstand me.  Thinking if i understood them i would be able to explain myself properly so that they may understand me. 
I also believe misunderstandings are also the source for a lot of conflict in our world. 

[rva_jeremy]

I run into this a lot, sometimes even with the people closest to me.  I think it's an exercise in patience.  I mean, from a spiritual point of view it's absolutely clear what's going on here, right?  Of course we don't understand each other.  We don't understand crap.  It's amazing we can communicate with any fidelity at all via symbol systems like words.

That prompted me to think about the idea that words are perhaps not the communication themselves, but rather they are carriers for something more meaningful, energetic and subtle.  Maybe words are telepathy crutches, training wheels we use until we can accept pure mind-to-mind comms.  

If we think of "manifest" communication as only part of the communication--in the same sense that the "manifest" self is only one part of the self--then the act of communicating becomes something more than just concept transfer.  Figuring out how to understand another becomes less about interpreting the words (of course there's still that) and more about understanding what they're really trying/want to say to you, maybe energetically or with their facial expression, body language, context, etc.  Sometimes what makes good communicators so effective is that they pick up on what's not said.

Looked at this way, all communication is contingent, incommensurable and inexact.  So don't beat yourself up about it.  Use it as practice for exercising compassion and patience.  The person listening to you will almost always appreciate that you care about them enough to take the time.  If they are anxious, irritated, or something negative that is preventing clear communication, then maybe what you think the conversation is about isn't what it's actually about.  

In other words, and this is something I'm still learning and exploring, communication really happens between entire selves, not the small slices we put in front of others' in particular third density contexts.

[Plenum]

I also believe misunderstandings are also the source for a lot of conflict in our world. 

only if both individuals (or parties) are not willing to work through those misunderstandings.

That's the essence of a green-ray communion, imo.  Even though two people may misunderstand, there is a desire to at least comprehend how the other person is feeling/experiencing things.  When that mutual green ray acceptance is absent, it just becomes about 2 sides fortifying their positions, and going for a zero-sum game; ie, only one person can win the argument and be 'right'.

as Jeremy referenced, the actual act of communication may just be the most visible (and physical) aspect of an interaction, which is, at heart, energetic.

entities were aware that each energy transfer and, indeed, very nearly all that proceeds from any intercourse, social or sexual, between two entities has its character and substance in time/space rather than space/time

emphasis on the social aspect there.  Most people are willing to acknowledge that huge amounts of energy are transferred during sexual interaction; Ra points that even with social interaction, there is a huge potential for much change to happen; given two agreeable, harmonizing beings.

[Diana]

I have no expectations when it comes to being understood. But I can't expect people to listen to me drone on about theoretical cosmology and quantum physics and how they relate to evolution when there ARE other things in life.  

I probably intellectualize the situation and so I don't feel much grief over it. I take a proactive approach and turn my attention to honing my own communication skills.

I agree that misunderstandings are a source of much conflict in the world. This is one thing watching movies and reading fiction can teach us. Let me explain. When a husband and wife (for instance) are having issues. they often don't communicate clearly at all. This is sometimes because of triggers, self-protective mechanisms, too much emotion, and so on. So if they even do communicate about it, there can be a great disparity between the soup of feeling in their heads and the actual words that come out of their mouths. (If they could access just the feelings of the heart, there probably wouldn't be any conflict to begin with.) I see this in myself all the time, and even being aware of it, it is still a challenge to communicate succinctly and clearly. But when you watch a movie about a relationship, the actors say in concise ways what is it in their heads—in other words, we in the audience know how they feel, and when they say how they feel it can be straight to the point and clear (because it is fiction, and that is good writing). And even if they don't say what they are feeling, because we are the audience we clearly see the disparity. 

So to endeavor to communicate honestly and clearly, in my opinion, is something to strive for. This is one reason I think it's so important to do "inner child" work, where we all picked up roles, habits, triggers, beliefs, and negative feelings about ourselves and the world for the sake of survival. These subconscious influences forged in childhood and reinforced throughout life (because they are self-validating) can hijack communication (and even accessing potential).

[Minyatur]

In my view situations rarely are about what they seem. A given situation can only add to the already existing flow of emotions, which in turn trigger resonant stagnant energies, which amplify the emotion. Most people also let themselves have negative thoughts on a regular basis, which stacks up into the root of the mind creating patterns of thoughts into place. Each pattern then can become an "instinctive" reaction to a range of various events which lead to different states of mind. These states of mind are often put into place in meditation/trance, like the time before sleep. 


Purpose of misunderstandings :

[Aion]

This is not the density of understanding.

[upensmoke]

Thank you for all the post, I should clear up tho that my post was in regards when someone has a discussion with someone, and one or none of the parties are trying to understand the other party. for example both parties are constantly explaining their side of the argument while putting no effort int trying to understand the other side. Such a situation causes a feeling i could describe as grief for me, not all the time, but some of the time