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+--- Thread: Weight of the World (/showthread.php?tid=9314)
Weight of the World - AnthroHeart - 06-14-2014
I was meditating, and it feels like the weight of the world is pressing down on my heart chakra, crying out to be loved. I do my best to send love, but I can't overcome this inward pull, and push my love outwards. It seems the pain of the world is too much for me to overcome.
This suffering keeps me from getting deeper in my meditation. Keeps me from finding relaxation and release. It's suffering for me on an energetic level as much as the world suffers. It's hard to take.
I do not miss home so much now, though I feel I am a wanderer. My current home is here, and I belong. I feel that my guides have much love to share with me, and have shown it to me in the past. I am as much a part of 3D as anyone who is suffering. And that is most of mankind. Even the rich aren't happy. Sometimes I feel that apathy would be easier. To not care. But this world needs healing. So that I can find rest. My nerves are jittery from the energy. It places an undue anxiety upon me.
This is all magnified when I meditate. I connect more with the suffering, but I then take it on as my own, and can't get away from it. But still, I share my love, and what wisdom I have. I have faith that I can one day love all and accept all, regardless of suffering. This is the truth that I seek.
RE: Weight of the World - AnthroHeart - 06-15-2014
Now it's the weight of my immediate environment that I feel, which is causing anxiety in my solar plexus. I barely feel anything in my heart. Maybe I worry about the future. My mindset of death has changed to where I don't look forward to it, so I can't use thoughts of death as a comfort. I have too much to live for. So I can find no relief.
RE: Weight of the World - AnthroHeart - 06-15-2014
Everything is ultimately OK. I must remember that.
When I'm in 6D I'm going to look back on 3D with fondness.
RE: Weight of the World - Unbound - 06-15-2014
What you feel is where your own desire to be loved is the microcosm of the desire of the Earth. It is not the pain of the world that is difficult to overcome, it is the pain we feel as part of that world that is our challenge. As well, it is not necessary to "send" love outwards as though it is something which is traveling through space and time but rather by focusing your awareness on the center of your love, your heart, you are connecting to the point of infinity which connects all beings together and so love can be shared infinitely by focusing on this one point. The heart does not need to travel or transplant its love, for love is not anywhere but at the heart of any and every being. Be aware in your heart and you are touching the same love that all are able to feel and being part of that. This is at the core of unconditional love which has no quantities or need to be this or that, it simply exists, eternally and absolutely as the heart of the heart, the infinity point which binds us all together and through which we can all speak through forever.
RE: Weight of the World - Plenum - 06-16-2014
(06-14-2014, 07:46 PM)Gemini Wolf Wrote: I was meditating, and it feels like the weight of the world is pressing down on my heart chakra, crying out to be loved. I do my best to send love, but I can't overcome this inward pull, and push my love outwards. It seems the pain of the world is too much for me to overcome.
This suffering keeps me from getting deeper in my meditation. Keeps me from finding relaxation and release. It's suffering for me on an energetic level as much as the world suffers. It's hard to take.
in a world that seems full of suffering, what is the best way to serve?
RE: Weight of the World - Ashim - 06-17-2014
(06-16-2014, 08:34 PM)Bring4th_Plenum Wrote:(06-14-2014, 07:46 PM)Gemini Wolf Wrote: I was meditating, and it feels like the weight of the world is pressing down on my heart chakra, crying out to be loved. I do my best to send love, but I can't overcome this inward pull, and push my love outwards. It seems the pain of the world is too much for me to overcome.
This suffering keeps me from getting deeper in my meditation. Keeps me from finding relaxation and release. It's suffering for me on an energetic level as much as the world suffers. It's hard to take.
in a world that seems full of suffering, what is the best way to serve?
@GW
One does not 'overcome' the pain of the world.
What we tend to experience as pain is the resistance encountered during integration of negativity. The acceptance of negative aspects of self seen as being 'separate' from oneself.
At the threshold the 'pain' occurs due to lack of approval, thus one attemps to distance oneself from a particular aspect. Denial.
This does not mean that we must enact negative scenarios but rather, as Ra suggested, use the imagination.
I found this of particular help.
Quote:To begin to master the concept of mental discipline it is necessary to examine the self. The polarity of your dimension must be internalized. Where you find patience within your mind you must consciously find the corresponding impatience and vice versa. Each thought that a being has, has in its turn an antithesis. The disciplines of the mind involve, first of all, identifying both those things of which you approve and those things of which you disapprove within yourself, and then balancing each and every positive and negative charge with its equal. The mind contains all things. Therefore, you must discover this completeness within yourself.
RE: Weight of the World - AnthroHeart - 06-17-2014
I was spending time with my dogs, which should bring me great joy. But I felt an immense sadness. I was pulling on my dogs leg to get him closer to me, and he whined. I feel so alone, even with them. I feel lost. I don't feel the weight of the world now. I feel a void, a vacuum. There is so much I don't understand. I have an older dog we have to keep outside all the time now, and that saddens me too. Loki we get to bring inside, but it's so easy to make him whine. If I raise my voice around him he cowers and runs off. Even playing with them I have an unexplained deep sadness that is very profound. It's a sadness about being alive. They should call me Sadheart Bear instead of Tenderheart Bear.
As I meditate, I ask my social memory complex in 6D to send me a desire to be alive. A thankfulness. To defeat all these suicidal thoughts. Being here in 3D is like a fight. A fight to stay sane and love life. Whatever this is, I don't like it much at all.
RE: Weight of the World - Plenum - 06-18-2014
(06-17-2014, 05:02 PM)Gemini Wolf Wrote: As I meditate, I ask my social memory complex in 6D to send me a desire to be alive. A thankfulness. To defeat all these suicidal thoughts. Being here in 3D is like a fight. A fight to stay sane and love life. Whatever this is, I don't like it much at all.
do you eat chocolate? I think chocolate makes everything better, especially chocolate icecream.
- -
<serious mode now>
but to speak to your point, I think someone mentioned in another thread that if you can find things you like doing, things that give you joy, it gives you something to look forward to, even though they might be things that only happen infrequently or irregularly.
I know that you've mentioned your dogs, and the furries in your imaginative space, but is there anything else?
are there some sort of tv series you like, or do you have friends from college days that you can speak to?
I've also found that sometimes meditation is not always helpful for all types of problems. At times, the answer is to be more physically active and involved (some form of exercise) to get the blood flowing and to feel less 'sluggish'. That quite often leads to better (deeper) sleep and more vitality and energy the next day.
I think you said that your meds have led to some weight gain ... and carrying around those extra pounds everyday can start to become burdensome. Definitely becoming 'lighter' in body can lead to a greater 'lightness' and freedom of mind.
there were times when I had a down phase, and exercisng myself into exhaustion was a way of clearing the body complex, and refreshing the mind by focussing on a concrete, completeable task. It's like - 'hey, I actually achieved that goal and it feels pretty good!'.
(06-17-2014, 05:02 PM)Gemini Wolf Wrote: It's a sadness about being alive.
I would be lying if I said that I had never felt this way, because in my heart of hearts, I have.
but I would also be lying if I said that this was fixed and unchangeable. Because in my heart of hearts, I did find another way of existing and being, even while in this 'heavy' earth density.
but I did have to make some hard changes (real life) to make this happen.
- -
peace brother. I know that these words alone won't suffice to alter your life situation; but it is possible to have a different way of beingness.
if you could see the times that I have been 'lost', 'confused', and 'isolated' from other selves, you would question if it was the same person who had been on this full journey; such are the mental spaces that I've visited.
much love, and full commiseration (because I've been there),
Plenum
RE: Weight of the World - AnthroHeart - 06-18-2014
It's nice to know someone else who has been there like I have. I have even met someone with schizophrenia, and even a furry with schizophrenia when I was at a furmeet. The meds aren't 100% effective. There is still some bleedthrough, but the symptoms are much reduced. I think today I'm happier. I can look at my dog and smile. Even my mom's frustrations doesn't take that away from me.
I'll see about exploring alternate ways of beingness. I haven't been seeking Creator as much as I have in the past. Because I heard that you don't seek Creator in isolation. You must seek with others. That's sometimes hard to do because not many that I know will follow my philosophy.