My Wanderer Story - Printable Version +- Bring4th (https://www.bring4th.org/forums) +-- Forum: Bring4th Community (https://www.bring4th.org/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=16) +--- Forum: Wanderer Stories (https://www.bring4th.org/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=3) +--- Thread: My Wanderer Story (/showthread.php?tid=8033)

My Wanderer Story - Dullimite - 09-20-2013 I have so much to say and I am sure it is going to jump around so forgive my sporadic and nonlinear thought pattern... been waiting to get this out for years My name is Rob. Born to this planet on 11/21/1974 10:01 PM in Hamilton, Ohio. 5 minutes after my fraternal twin brother was born. They had to pull me out by my feet because I was standing on my brother. Damn, I just got the place to myself too. Before taking my first breathe I was already being a pain in the butt Literally and probably physically for my mother's sake. haha I am currently a computer programmer working for HSN in St. Petersburg Florida. I have always been a very creative and analytical person. I am not your typical left brained or right brained person, I am both. Which is great for my profession. I love math and my favorite is Geometry. In high school I could look at geometry problems, and clear my mind and the answer would come. But of course the teacher wanted you to show your work. Well I would prove myself wrong at times. I would lightly write my first answer near the problem and circle the number of the question. I always got those wrong and my initial thought was right. The first time I saw the Flower of Life was like seeing an old friend. I don't know how else to state that feeling I had. I also found that book, The Ancient Secret of the Flower of Life, Vol. 1, when I needed to. Actually everything in my life has been patterned for me to get to this point. Pattern Recognition. I will get to more on that later. So academically I have always loved Math and Science. That was my religion. I can see the beauty in it as well as someone sees beauty in a human model on t.v.. Growing up I loved taking things apart to see how they worked. I broke alot of toys but my curiosity to understand how and why overwhelmed my need to keep. I also love to fix things. I get OCD about it at times. If I see something that is out of place, or easily fixable.. I almost obsess about wanting to fix it. As I feel about this society and government. I don't understand complacency especially in the mind. "Why" is a wonderful and powerful word and concept. The ability to ask it and contemplate it is the gift of this level of consciousness. Learning above and beyond your self. So here are my jobs I wanted to do growing up... astronaut, architect, engineer and programmer. Hmm I wonder why I taught myself how to program a computer when I was around 8 years old on a TI-99 4a. I would write simple programs for my mom when she would come to check on us before bed. She would have to answer a question, always about love, and then I would draw a big heart on the screen using asterisks. I have always been a very, very affectionate person. Overly affectionate at times. I was also very athletic and excelled at sports. Played soccer, football, basketball and baseball. I played baseball in college. I just understood physical grace and balance and understood that all movement is just like dancing. Plus being able to slow down time and block everything out except for my focal point helps too. Athletes call that ability "being in the zone". I can still to this day go in and out of it at will. Now it is called day dreaming or not paying attention hahaha. I have also been very good at juggling, especially with my feet. The instantaneous knowing the physics and touch needed was just very natural to me. Even at the height of 6'6" I could move with the grace as well as a person much smaller than me. I also love dancing and love music. I can feel music, the vibrations and the tones. If I concentrate it is almost like I can visualize the colors of the sounds. I have always had a very keen sense of hearing and sight. I can hear very high pitched sounds to the point that they are debilitating. My I have had better than perfect vision. 18/20 is what I was tested. It's funny every day I can just be walking and all the sudden look up and directly at a plane flying way up high. I don't know why I can sense that change or movement. Like being able to track a fly. I also heal very fast and look alot younger than I am. I always carry a glow especially when I smile and in a good mood. I radiate. When I am down and hurt I pull energy unfairly. I have been blessed with my physical vessel. Then there is the creative side of me. I have written poetry and stories and more recently rants throughout my life. I can be very eloquent when necessary and at times overly verbose,as you will see. But again, understanding patterns and styles comes very easy to me. Very romantic and intensely passionate. Being a Scorpio doesn't help that as well What's funny is that I have really never been a typical man. I don't understand why males are taught to be emotionless bulls that s*** on everything around them to make them seem top dog. I would say I am more in touch with my female side than most men. I am very emotional. I cry from happiness and triumph as much as pain and despair. I am a empathetic antennae and love and happiness resonates from me. I try to make people laugh and smile even if I am completely struggling inside. Although I absolutely hate the state of the world and have always been very open about my thoughts on it. I don't understand how people can just swallow this mental, financial, physical and spiritual slavery. That is exactly what it is. Divide and conquer. Keep people fighting amongst each other over materialistic bull s*** so the rich can do what every they want... ok.. getting side tracked. So that was a little background about me and now on to my gifts/experiences that lend me to believe I am a wanderer. I have always been different. A being of love and laughter and lightens the room when I enter. Even though I have been blessed with a wonderful body, that I have abused, I have a hard time fitting in and socializing in groups. I can do it very gracefully but internally I am hating it. People just waste their words about nothing and expect others to chime in with other unimportant affirmations. They don't discuss things they just want to be entertained. Bah.. there I go again. Anyway, so I don't have a problem with being social and people are very much attracted to me. Well except for the men who are for some reason jealous of me because of my physical presence. Makes no sense. Stupid poor self esteem training through media, parents and schools. Ok, let me try this again... my experiences and gifts. I remember when I was first turned on, for lack of better words. I was around 5 years old, maybe younger, and was just playing by myself up in my room. Having a twin growing up is like having a best friend around at all times... at ALL TIMES... so alone time was nice. All the sudden it was like I was flooded with all the suffering and pain of the world, I toppled over and just cried. I can still remember leaning against the wall and crying and I still can see the carpet that I was looking at. I remember just thinking about starving kids and kids dying. Since then I have always been able to "connect" or listen maybe be a better way to say it. Need better training on that area for sure. I have always been able to sense beings around me. Hairs on my neck, goose bumps, and a sense of being watched in the presence of something. My first full bodied apparition that I saw was when I was around 18 or 19. I was sleeping in the same twin bed I grew up in, yeah 6'6" man curled up in a twin bed with his 60 lb English setter. Oh yeah, I love animals and always have had a connection with dogs. Such a great way to charge your battery with unconditional love from a dog. Well I noticed that my dog wasn't with me. I looked over at my brother and to see if my dog was near him. Well there was a full bodied white glowing man standing and looking at me. I did what every strong brave man would do, I covered my head with my blanket. Yeah.. brave man. Because of course if he can't see me I will be ok. haha Well I called out to my brother and my dog and no answer. I finally calmed myself down and flipped up the covers and sat up. He was still there and I just froze. I didn't feel negative energy at all. Very calm really. I looked at him from head to toe. He looked as if wearing like old factory clothes. Long pants, long sleeve shirt buttoned up. Definitely male but blackness where his eyes should have been. He just kind of dissipated and faded away. A few years latter I found out my eldest sister also saw a man kneeling in front of the tv while she was home from school. My family is split down the middle in our genetic look. Dad, middle sister and twin all have pale skin, blue eyes and ranging from red to blonde hair. My eldest sister, mom and I have the Cherokee traits. Dark hair, dark skin they have blue eyes. I am the only one with greenish-blue-steel eyes. They change color which I wonder is a common trait with wanderers. Seems the people I meet that eyes change like that are like me in their mental state. Always hard to read, which I can do instantly at times. By looking at someone and "listening/feeling" I can get a pretty good idea what kind of a person that person is. The ones I can't read are the ones that are like me. Funny, I hear the same thing about it from them. That they were unsure about me because they couldn't read me. Same I felt towards them. I bet that is very common. Then came the psychedelics in college. I remember the first time to. Luckily I was good friends and a good guide. It was like all the programming from my upbringing unwound and I was alive... like really alive and not hindered in my perception. It was also the first time I saw a red laser grid the sky. Like a force field or something. Wasn't until a few months ago I thought much about it until a fellow spiritual being asked me if I have seen the grid. I was shocked that someone else knew what it was. I really didn't think about it in a metaphysical sense because my true knowledge of everything was just beginning to open up and I viewed it as a science force field and not a tool to trap our energies. I felt more normal on psychedelics, like I was clearer or tuned in. I was always the babysitter and guide for my friends. Then the there was the contact. I can only describe as the movie Fallen. I had a single conversation talk to me through 10+ people as I walked through a crowded shopping mall. One continuous thought that was brining up actions that I did to make me feel guilty. I felt as if I was being attacked. I didn't know what was going on. It really freaked me out. Then it happened again. But this time it was a single person, who I knew. Their pupils lost all color and turned shiny black and their eyes also widened and that smile, that same smile every time. It was like they were possessed by something that was tormenting me. Well I guess it is tormenting or it could be trying to get me to stop doing negative things. Always knew things that the person should never know. This happens on and off now. I typically am in a weak state when it does though. Like my guard is down. I just don't know what, or who or why. That's the most frustrating. What's really strange is that when it happens, it is like everyone else around is oblivious or like time stands still. The last two times it happened was recently at work. One was in a meeting, no one was paying attention and the person to this day doesn't remember what he said. But I was sitting across and I felt it again. I always can feel the shift in energy when it happens. This was the first time though I couldn't run, but for once I sat up straight and pushed with everything inside me, all of my power focused and it was like I punched the guy in the face. He shook his head in bewilderment and his eyes returned to normal and he kind had to regroup himself for an instance. Like he was confused about what just happened. Then the most recent time I was talking with another co-worker. Just casual and as I walked away she went from sitting to standing behind me at a distance she would have had to run to cover, and again said something to me about thanking me for confiding a secret to her. A day later, has no recollection of even standing up nor even saying something to me. She couldn't remember. Really strange and not sure what it is or who and good or bad. I thought it was Azael initially and have tried to call him. With the response of this huge amount of energy buzzing around me and my arm hair standing on end to the point i can feel it vibrating. It happens every time I do it. But is it him or me invoking my own frequency and broadcasting? I have had a few other experiences with ghosts. To tell you what I am starting to think the word ghost is not the right word for spirits or souls. Ghost puts a kind of a dumb downed view or negative nomenclature on what we are just beginning to understand as a whole of society and not necessarily the enlightened. Maybe another way to spin the main public using another fear tactic to again keep people from exploring the spiritual nature of our world. Then there was my most recent new experience. I was having a rough time with life a few months ago, well still am but mentally was just run down. In yet another night locked away in my mind sitting in front of the TV with my beautiful great dane by my side dissecting every aspect of my life. Well I was sitting on her couch really But I started to unlock things and for once I started to let things go. I had a hard time losing my dad in 2000. Very long dark depression from that and alot of drinking. I felt like I lifted a huge weight off me to the point I felt physically lighter and happier than I have been in a very long time. It was like a very huge "AH-HA" moment. Well I got up to and walked into the kitchen glowing and grinning from what had just transpired. Then mid step I was pulled out of my body. My vision turned to a reddish dark background and lights were flying by me. Because of the direction and the speed of all the lights passing by me I could tell I was moving away from my body and straight back and not up or down. Then I passed through a white kind of plasma like energy frame or grid. Well that frame turned into many and as I started to slow down I was looking at a like a ball that was a grid of this light or energy. Then the the ball opened up and became like a wall. Then a voice spoke to me, well telepathically said, "It's ok, you're ok." I was so calm and in awe more than anything. Then as fast as I came out I was headed back towards my body. Through the grid again and now, a little less surprised, I could look around a little more. I could just see how I was travelling. I compare it to driving. the things on your sides are moving so fast that they are elongated and blurs. As you scan up higher things slow down. Well this was 360 degrees, so the sides moving fast and the top and bottom much slower. That's how I understood that it was straight back and now straight forward. Then everything started to get bright and the bright white light came to a pin point, disappeared and I finished my step. I reached out to catch myself. In complete awe, all I could mutter was "My god." Another thing I am not sure how to take. An out of body experience with a vision I was supposed to see. All my life I have struggled with being social. I have constantly told people that I am different. I always get the same response, "We are all different." Ugh.. no s*** Sherlock! If I try to explain the things I have experienced it either bores the person who isn't able to talk about themselves, causes the person to think I am crazy or every once in a great while someone listens. But I have never met anyone that can explain some of this to me. In life, I know there is a pattern to everything. Patterns are why energy forms matter into all it's different forms. It is why light and energy has frequency and behaves a uniform way. Being a programmer/scientist/problem solver, I have found that the best answer is always the simplest. It's funny how all these complex and abstract physic's theories are going to end up describing a simple piece of energy flashing on and off. But the figuring out the math to explain all the patterns it follows is what they are having issues with. Working backwards of course. Like me tearing apart a lego building and trying to write the instructions as I remove the pieces. Since somehow the person and instructions that built it in the first place isn't around at the moment. hehe But everything has happened in my life the way it should have. I have had to suffer all the negative aspects of life to help prepare me to help others. The only way a person will trust you is if you have walked the same path. Easier to commiserate/share than to blindly tell them "Don't do that!" I have always had this deep desire to help. A motto I have said throughout my life is that "Some of us are here to work so the others can play." I have always had this purpose of helping others. But then there is this deep down burning in my soul that this world is wrong. I can't turn it off, I want to change the world. It's always in my thoughts. Like I said before, the way my events have unravelled are the way they were supposed to. I had to be humbled and broken down so when I am needed, I would not be vain and make foolish mistakes. The past few weeks I really have been finding all the right information I needed to help me secure my understanding of me. I still have alot more to go, but I finally am being reassured that my thoughts were in the right direction. I have always been a huge conspiracy theory person because it just felt right. It was like I knew it all along but just had to find out the details... again. There is hope for us. There is hope for this world. I am ready to learn how to use my skills to join the fight. That's why I am here. Looking forward to meeting everyone and learning and sharing more. RE: My Wanderer Story - Plenum - 09-20-2013 greeting sir! that was quite the text! plenum RE: My Wanderer Story - Dullimite - 09-20-2013 This is what I sent L&L Research. Figured it would be a good way to start here as well Maybe get some feedback on my experiences and some help understanding some of it. RE: My Wanderer Story - Lycen - 09-21-2013 Heluuu and WELCOME!! Rob .D I can not say with truth that I have experienced some of the experiences of your story. I mean, the man of light nor the weird time stop and people acting as possessed with no memory of it. Perhaps someone who has had, will chip in their thoughts?! Time will tell huh ,D Thank you for sharing of your story, it was most interesting to read! Here are some sites that have enlightened me of some things about myself: http://www.paulsadowski.org/BirthDay.asp http://www.paulsadowski.com/Numbers.asp http://www.astrology-online.com/persn.htm RE: My Wanderer Story - Fastidious Emanations - 09-23-2013 I feel you verily, though do not feel like reminiscing at this space/time nexus. RE: My Wanderer Story - kycahi - 10-17-2013 My first reaction while reading your post was, "This might be one of those dual 3D/4D persons." If so, that's a good thing, better IMHO than being a Wanderer. Welcome to some of your new best friends! RE: My Wanderer Story - Marc - 10-18-2013 Very fun listening to your experiences. My thoughts on the people being possessed is maybe a skip from space/time to time space and/or projecting those images onto other for you to learn more about yourself. That's just what seems to fit in my view of things. And the out of body experience is pretty typical of traveling in time/space, I'd say. Maybe meditate on what spiritual meaning it could have for you, like interpreting a dream. RE: My Wanderer Story - palindromic - 11-25-2013 Welcome Rob! Beautiful story, I truly enjoyed it One question though, how did you find the Ra channellings? RE: My Wanderer Story - isis - 11-25-2013 "...everything has happened in my life the way it should have." it was a pleasure reading your story, thanks for sharing. "Seems the people I meet that eyes change like that are like me in their mental state." i've noticed the same thing. RE: My Wanderer Story - raaz - 12-10-2013 All my life I have struggled with being social. I have constantly told people that I am different. I always get the same response, "We are all different." Ugh.. no s*** Sherlock! If I try to explain the things I have experienced it either bores the person who isn't able to talk about themselves, causes the person to think I am crazy or every once in a great while someone listens. But I have never met anyone that can explain some of this to me. In life, I know there is a pattern to everything. Patterns are why energy forms matter into all it's different forms. It is why light and energy has frequency and behaves a uniform way. Being a programmer/scientist/problem solver, I have found that the best answer is always the simplest. It's funny how all these complex and abstract physic's theories are going to end up describing a simple piece of energy flashing on and off. But the figuring out the math to explain all the patterns it follows is what they are having issues with. Working backwards of course. Like me tearing apart a lego building and trying to write the instructions as I remove the pieces. Since somehow the person and instructions that built it in the first place isn't around at the moment. hehe RE: My Wanderer Story - reeay - 12-10-2013 I love the this Lorenz attractor, all this complexity/diversity and when viewed in its gestalt there is a pattern. RE: My Wanderer Story - Parsons - 12-10-2013 I understand where you are coming from raaz; I too have struggled with being social / having clear communication with others my entire life. I gave up trying to ask others about it (at least in person, anyways). The only thing I have been able to come up with as to why is simply: I am a wanderer of a higher density. I realized that several of my more "spiritual" traits have been with me as far back as my memory goes. Some things this society thinks is perfectly normal have never 'felt' right to me, even before I woke up. RE: My Wanderer Story - Rusalka - 02-19-2014 Hi Dulllimite, Your story moved me a lot though it wasn't easy to read those solid paragraphs! But seriously, a little more and I would start crying. Thanks for being so open. I love sacred geometry, too. My thing are spirals, stone circles symbols and merkaba. I went through a period of symbols haunting me so badly that I ended up drawing an entire deck of cards (sort of tarotish). I worked out that the interior symmetry of Newgrange (Ireland) is analogous to a pyramid as Ra describes it (proportions, the 3 spirals and all). And I am a psychologist, not a mathematician ;-). Very similar experiences socialwise. I love people and want to help them (which I do professionally, also through bioenergy healing) but sometimes I just cant put up with the bulls**t. The exchange of empty affirmations as you call them. And then I have to withdraw for a while. And I have also always felt different. My family notices that, too, and my mother to this day keeps repeating in awe "Where did you come from?". So there you are. You're not alone :-) Take care, Agata agataradha@gmail.com RE: My Wanderer Story - Dullimite - 02-21-2014 Thank you all for all the kind words and replies. It is nice to know that people like us exist a lot more than we think. Societal taboo keeps us lingering on the sideline but our hearts and thoughts will always be our guides. I have been reading the Law of One and really am enjoying it. It just makes sense to me. Plus I have a feeling that I am, what is commonly called an "old soul", but maybe in better terms a being from a higher density who volunteered to help. Maybe the core of my feeling that I am "different" from others. Whether it is synchronicity or me clearing off the fog, i am noticing things that keep pushing towards this notion. Then again, perception can be skewed by a want and desire to believe something is evident. Either way it is leading me to a fuller richer path and one that feels right and is fueled by love. Which is a good way to walk I think. Hope everyone is well. RE: My Wanderer Story - Rusalka - 02-22-2014 You're welcome, Rob :-) I think a lot of us are wasting a lot of energy wrecking our heads about whether we are or are not Wanderers. As a psychologist with a scientific mind I've been thinking about a way to solve this dilemma. In psychology there is a scientific methods which uses competent judges. A few people are asked to share their subjective experiences about the same thing and then the probability is calculated. We could use something similar: we could share paranormal experiences and the more each of us will learn that others experienced the same, the stronger the probablity that we are Wanderers. E.g. one of the reasons I instantly connected with Ra material is that as a child I used to have heated discussions on religious matters with my mother. I remember once while I was explaining her my views I got a vision of a central sun, like a spiral whence the Light springs from. Every person is a ray of Light so we are all one though we only have awareness of being the tip of the ray so it seems to us we are separate. "Bad people" as I called them then weren't really bad but were far away from the Source/ Center so they lost the awareness of the connection with One and thought they were masters and the source themselves. That made them commit selfish and self-serving deeds. Ra-ish, eh? I was under 10 when I had this vision. As an adult I had other visions, e.g. about the 6D fusion while lovemaking. I am pretty much celibate at the moment because I cannot stick having sex and only mating up to 3rd chakra. I can feel when the heart is open and if there is sexual energy exchange or not. But more than that: I need to be mated all the way up to 3rd eye. Less is just not good enough for me. I knew all that before I read any of the Ra material. Is that enough to get a Wanderer Certificate? ;-) I don't think so but there are some indications that I am not exactly human. I think swapping this kind of personal experiences will give each of us some reassurance as to who we might be. Who we MIGHT be, because, after all, does it matter? Even if we are just plain humans, living according to STO guidance (no manipulation, no elitism, love given freely and generously etc) will make us better people and our lives richer and more beautiful. Don't you think? I'd love to hear your thoughts. xx Agata PS: As for books, I strongly recommend J.H. Brennan's Astral Doorways and anything by Ernest Butler (L/L R used his rituals) and also Israel Regardie. You can read some if his stuff here: http://www.servantsofthelight.org/knowledge/books-index.html RE: My Wanderer Story - AnthroHeart - 02-22-2014 When I was young I didn't believe in aliens or UFO's, much less spiritual beings. As I grew up, I started to resonate with the Ra material when I found it. Suddenly, the universe being conscious resonated for me. As a child I did believe in astral projection and obe's, and had a few though. So I did believe in spiritual matters. Just not spiritual beings that were somehow more advanced than us. I haven't seen how life is more rich and beautiful than ordinary. Certainly not special till you get to higher densities.