(12-02-2021, 03:33 PM)Spiritualchaos Wrote: My awakening was not a fast or single oriented event, as it is more of an explanation for everything I have ever experience that stands out in my memory. It puts together pieces I didn’t even know were part of the same puzzle, it gives an answer to the struggles, feelings and an oddly accurate intuition I could never explain why I had or why most of the people around me did not.

(12-02-2021, 03:33 PM)Spiritualchaos Wrote: When I met my current partner, I know I met someone special. Spending time together in the beginning of our friendship was intense, it felt like we were both being electrified being in each other’s presence. Our energy coming together was one of the most eye-opening, physically/emotionally/mentally intense experiences of my life. I finally felt home. For the first time in my 35 years of life at that point, I felt at home. I didn’t realized what it was back then, but when we came together, I knew I found the person who would always grow in energy vibrations with me.

(12-02-2021, 03:33 PM)Spiritualchaos Wrote: I watched his video on Wanderers and I felt strange inside, like something sleeping was coming awake. I started to resonate deeply with the concept of Wanderers and the Law of One, and I needed to know more. I downloaded all the pdf’s of The Law of One and read the first 3 books over a course of a month, as well as The Wanderer’s Handbook which I am about 400 pages into the unabridged version.

[...] [font=UICTFontTextStyleBody]everything about the evolution of the soul just made perfect sense to me. All of a sudden, my entire life made sense. The way I was made sense. The things I had experienced made sense. Nothing felt like a mistake anymore. I have started to forgive myself for being the way I am and now see value in the gifts I have been given.[/font]

(12-02-2021, 03:33 PM)Spiritualchaos Wrote: Everything shifted for me, like I was looking through a blurry telescope and all of a sudden, someone wiser than I corrected the focus and made everything perfectly clear. 

(12-02-2021, 03:33 PM)Spiritualchaos Wrote: It has given me a freedom beyond words that I just want everyone who is struggling to experience. I am hoping people will see themselves in a clearer perspective through the observations I’ve made of my life.

(12-02-2021, 03:33 PM)Spiritualchaos Wrote: This is just the beginning, as I will use every moment, every experience, every emotion to learn, grow, and be at peace with myself, and with others. I have a long way to go, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t also come a long way already.

(12-02-2021, 03:33 PM)Spiritualchaos Wrote: To begin, thank you all for listening to my story. My awakening was not a fast or single oriented event, as it is more of an explanation for everything I have ever experience that stands out in my memory. It puts together pieces I didn’t even know were part of the same puzzle, it gives an answer to the struggles, feelings and an oddly accurate intuition I could never explain why I had or why most of the people around me did not. There are so many pieces to the puzzle I have left out in order to not make you all read a novel about my life, but if anyone has any interest in any of these events, I am looking to start a channel on YouTube in the near future talking about these experiences and events more intimately so I can share my insights with others, to help them find peace within themselves like I have found in myself.

All my life I just felt like I was an outsider looking in. I was a sensitive, loving child, who would do anything to help another person feel loved. I wanted to connect to everyone deeply and I went out of my way to do so. When friends came over, they always left with more things than they came with. I never felt an attachment to possessions, I never really understood why money was so important to people. I was friends with a lot of the kids in school people thought were “weird” or “unlovable” in someway.  I never saw that; I only saw people looking for love and friendship. This outlook worked a little better for me as a child, but as I got older, it became obvious that the way I was and the way I perceived life was not “normal.” I accidentally offended people all the time, because I was honest even when that honesty could hurt another’s feelings. I never meant to hurt anyone’s feelings, I just didn’t understand the purpose of lying. I also was completely devastated when people started doing negative and hurtful things to me, because I could not see it in people. I believed what people said 100% when I was younger, I had no concept of service-to-self because all I had in my heart was a desire to love and be loved. When I was 13 years old, a heaviness fell upon me that lead me into a deep depression that stayed with me for over 20 years. It happened when I was trying to figure out who I was and my friends couldn’t even grasp the concept of the things I was saying. I remember being left crying in the park as my friends road away on their bikes, feeling lonely and confused as to why my friends had no empathy for the pain I was in. My feelings were bigger than the average 13 year olds and they were not equipped to handle it. I understand this now.

From this point forward, I struggled with relationships with almost everyone in one way or another. I became a giant ball of anxiety inside and was always thinking or feeling like what I was doing was wrong, because no one seemed to have any forgiveness for the way I was. I wanted to forgive people while my friends wanted to hold a grudge. When I became so isolated and depressed in high school due to my lack of connections, my Dad asked me what I was doing wrong to cause people to treat me this way. I was always misunderstood, especially by those in my family. I’ve never really been close to my parents; I’ve gone years without seeing or talking to them without really feeling much sadness about it, and my sister and I do not see eye-to eye and it’s best to keep our distance. We haven’t spoken in 5 years and I don’t really have a desire to see her even though I do hope she is happy. I just know when a person’s part in my story is not helping me grow anymore, and it’s time to go on our own journeys separately. 

As I got older the theme of being misunderstood grew with every situation I found myself in. I still put most of my energy and effort into connecting to those around me, regardless of how it made me feel. I wanted deep connections in my relationships, friendships, and with members of my family more than anything. But not being able to achieve those connections as often as I needed made things worse for me. My anxiety was so bad that I hardly went anywhere and was far too anxious/depressed to work, even though I never had a desire to work to make money, and whenever I did have a job, I felt like I was wasting my time, like I had a strong urge to do something greater with my days. I have spent most of my life unemployed, but because of the value everyone puts on money in this society, I was always looked down upon, always criticized, always asked when I was going to get a job. Most of my partners were understanding of this, and never cared I didn’t have a job, because I took care of absolutely everything else in our lives from filing taxes to mowing the lawn, to arranging entire moves on my own. I felt like I gained this ability to take care of everything because I had to make up for my lack of interest in making money. Plus keeping things organized never seemed difficult for me, so I found a role that was less than acceptable to people but was all I could do with what I had at the time. I found a way to survive, even though surviving was painful, lonely and physically taxing a lot of the time.

By not fitting into the mold of what made a “normal” person in society, I felt alone even if I was surrounded by people. I felt misunderstood all the time, I felt angry at myself for being the way I was. I felt weak for being so sensitive and so easily hurt. I was angry at the world for being so hateful, I struggled to get out of bed, I struggled to get a good nights rest. I struggled day in and day out and frequently thought the world would be better off without me. I attempted suicide by overdose more than once and was always ashamed of myself the next morning when I was still alive. I never felt good enough for any relationship or friendship. I tried too hard, got walked on and taken advantage of by a lot of people who used me to feel good about themselves. But I still tried. There was a desire to get up and keep trying no matter how bad things were, no matter how isolated I felt or how I didn’t feel at home anywhere. I knew I couldn’t give up. I didn’t now why, I just knew I couldn’t. So I kept going. 

I have moved about 35 times since I turned 18, sometimes from one place to another in a city, or from one province to another. No place I have lived has truly felt like home to me, so it made me feel restless and the need to move was great. I kept attracting situations in my life where I ended up living with unstable people who were not reliable roommates, or living with family members during a transition to a new place who couldn’t handle having people in their space, or it just got to the point where it felt like a city/town/village had run it’s course in learning opportunities for me and needed to leave, or a relationship ended and I had to start over somewhere else. Moving has been an endless theme of my life, I had reoccurring dreams about it for years. I’m even getting ready to move again in 2 months. This is the first time it’s not by choice, our rental has been sold and we have to leave. I finally don’t want to move and I have to. I know there is something to learn from this too, I’m just keeping my eyes open for the lesson.

My observational skills have always been intense for as long as I can remember. I couldn’t be fooled into things like Santa or the Tooth Fairy. I knew it was my parents, and I just played along. It felt like I was doing it for them and not for my need to believe in something that didn’t make sense to believe in. I frequently notice things when others around me do not. I also always had this strong sense of when something major was happening in my life and instinctively knew when it was time to move on. I never wasted time when my feelings had changed and thus the relationship needed to change as well. I was always honest about my feelings as soon as I was aware of them myself. I can feel others thoughts and opinions from across large distances, I frequently message them at the same time they message me.  I always seem to reach out to people when they need me. I always notice when something is wrong and people are usually surprised or caught off guard when I pick up on it before they even realize it. I am what you would call a highly sensitive person. I am very emotional, I can burst into tears with the intensity of the emotions I feel at the strangest times. I feel music in my soul and have always closely connected to the emotions expressed through music. Nature is beautiful and scenery has always filled me with an intensity that makes me feel at peace with all that is. I make the joke that I feel and do and experience everything at an “11.” Every emotion is just cranked up to about as high as it can go all the time. Noise is a trigger for me, I always thought this world was too loud and struggled with finding peace and quiet here.

I have been married twice, and both times I recognized right away when I had grown in vibration beyond their comfort zone and I knew something needed to change. I never stopped loving anyone, I feel like I can’t no matter what happens, but as clueless as I felt in society, I always knew when I needed to move on intuitively. I did so for their own growth first and foremost as well as for my own. Once my heart is open to someone it remains open, and that fact always confused others around me. I would break up with someone yet remain close to them and my friends thought it was weird. I also forgave people easily for the things they did; no matter what happened between us, I always found it in my heart to forgive them, but it wasn’t easy for them. I had people confused and baffled by the love and friendship I could continue to offer them even beyond our relationship. They would assume I was still wanted to be with them, or they accused me of playing mind-games. Neither were true; our relationship just changed but my love had not. But people on this planet sometimes have a hard time accepting forgiveness because they think there is something attached to it. There never was for me, I just wanted to share love with them, no matter what the circumstances of our relationship technically was. I lost relationships due to the inability to label them with something recognizable to this society. Once again, I was misunderstood and forced to put myself into a more accepted family structure even though it never really fit me comfortably. 

I never had an easy time living on this planet. I love animals and trees and nature, and was quite baffled when I learned what sort of things were done to nature and animals here. I can’t watch anything about animal cruelty or I feel this sadness of the situation eat me alive. I cried deeply when my pets passed away, while everyone else seemed like it wasn’t a very big deal to them. I don’t understand peoples desire to have more money or more stuff, people are always suggesting I sell stuff when I would just rather give it away.  I never really understood religion either. Growing up I went to church on Sundays, bible study, youth group, summer vacation bible school, etc. I enjoyed the connections I had with others, but while everyone was singing and praising and kneeling in church, I didn’t understand at all why it was happening. I felt like an outsider watching strange customs my whole life.  When I went to weddings, funerals, graduations, etc and I just felt awkward being a part of them. Even at both of my weddings I just felt strange inside about the whole process of it all. It felt like wearing someone else’s shoes that were two sizes too small.

The older I got, the more I started to realize something wasn’t right with life. I couldn’t place my finger on it but I knew I needed to find out. A friend recommended a documentary to watch, that upon viewing shifted my thinking into a deeper level of thought. From that point forward I was more steadily interested in the deeper meaning of things. Before the days of YouTube, I started binging documentaries, reading endless books on any spiritual topic I could get my hands on. I would go through periods of my life where I would get wrapped up in my own life drama that I wouldn’t focus on it as much. I had so much to think about for so many years that my learning on the subject started out painfully slow. But when I had the time, when I was settled in my current place of residence, I would read, study, and ponder about life and what it was all about. I thought about people and their behaviours and studied them through TV, life and from books and documentaries. I spent a lot of time at home with little to do so I used that time to study humanity. 

Not only was I super anxious and depressed a lot of the time, I also had a ton of health problems in my 20s. I spent so much time going to doctors, having tests done, being prescribed one thing or another. My anxiety had ruined my stomach, having Fibromyalgia made me rely on pain killers for years, which in turn made my stomach worse. I didn’t even know I had Fibromyalgia until I was in my late 20s because I just kept getting pains in my body that no one could figure out where they were coming from. Being on this planet has always been physically exhausting for me. To this day I still wake up feeling sore and tired, I sneeze a lot and my skin is easily irritated. I can’t wear clothes that are made of a rough fabric, strong smells made me feel sick to my stomach, and I seem to be mildly allergic to everything. And I have bare feet (in Canada, in the winter even) 80% of the year. Everything about the way I operate is so strange to those around me. I’ve only met a few people in my life who get the way I am or relate to what I’ve physically experienced. 

As I got older, things started to change drastically. Old friends from the past started reconnecting with me and a lot of them told me I was the most supportive and caring friend they ever had. I was baffled by this because I didn’t think I did anything special to them, I just showed them support and kindness anyway I could.  I just thought that is how everyone should be. I was grateful to be a light in their dark room, because that is all I ever wanted to do with anyone I connected with in life. 

When I met my current partner, I know I met someone special. Spending time together in the beginning of our friendship was intense, it felt like we were both being electrified being in each other’s presence. Our energy coming together was one of the most eye-opening, physically/emotionally/mentally intense experiences of my life. I finally felt home. For the first time in my 35 years of life at that point, I felt at home. I didn’t realized what it was back then, but when we came together, I knew I found the person who would always grow in energy vibrations with me. 

Our relationship was not easy but the opportunities for growth were immense and coming at us at warp speed. Everything about being together was hard. I met him through my now ex husband. I had to get divorced and start my life over in the middle of meeting him. He didn’t even want a relationship, we ended up living together with roommates because of my marriage ending. We fought all the time. We both had this way of holding up a giant mirror to each other so we were forced to confront our shadow selves. It was not easy. But every time we would fight, and some drama would ensue, we’d always come back together a little changed for the better.  We both had a lot of interest in spiritual matters, so we were always encouraged one another to “watch this” or “read that.” The information we passed back and forth just made us think deeper. We watched people on YouTube talk about every topic we found fascinating, which lead us to more and more interesting information. Every situation we went through together helped us figure ourselves out a little more. We talked endlessly about our ideas about life, the universe, and all sorts of spiritual topics.

For my birthday about 4 years ago, my partner and I did mushrooms together and we had an intense experience. It felt like we were able to communicate without words, like we shared telepathic communication and it was the clearest we ever saw each other. Not only did it show to us how deep our connection was, it did something to my brain, like it rewired it to not want to suffer anymore. From that point on, my depression started to lift. Life started to feel easier, I found I had more strength to deal with things. I was able to come up to solutions to help me function easier in society and around crowds. We were living in a very large city and being around that many people was becoming less of a challenge. I started to feel lighter, stronger, and I could handle situations better. I wasn’t feeling emotionally overwhelmed all the time, I was finding myself calming down from situations faster, getting over frustrations quicker. But the challenges kept coming and coming… and then we’d backslide, get into some fights, recover, grow and continue on our journey. It just became the way of our life. During those years, I quit all prescription meds I was on, became a vegetarian and got all my health problems until control. I felt physically and emotionally better all the time. My partner was always a source of light when I was lost as I was a source of love for him when he had none for himself. We came together for a greater purpose and I see that unfolding every day of our life together.

3 weeks before everything went into lockdown in 2020, we had our son Orion Gabriel. We named him that after seeing the constellation from our back yard at night. My partner used to see Orion in the sky biking home from work. We left the city when I was pregnant and moved to the mountains. The first year of my sons life was a strange blur, we spent most of our time at home, we never saw anyone unless we passed near them going for a walk and we never went anywhere except to buy groceries. We had A TON of time to think. We analyzed and thought about so many things; self improvement and self realization seemed like a very important path to follow. I didn’t want to be sad and lost anymore. I didn’t want my son to only remember his mama being sad and lost. I was a lot happier, I was no longer depressed or anxious about anything. I was just lost and that made me feel sad. I wanted to know more, I asked whoever was listening for some answers. I didn’t know my purpose or what I was supposed to do with my life. When all the chaos in my mind had settled, I had much more space left for something greater and a great desire to fill it. 

I still felt like I didn’t have a home beyond my life with my partner and son. I still felt like I was caught up in a society of chaos and insanity I didn’t relate to. I lost interest in celebrating holidays or owning things that weren’t useful to the day to day functioning or enjoyment of life. I couldn’t relate to most people anymore because their problems were things I just didn’t think about much anymore. I used my experiences to offer them advice the best I could, but I never talked much about how I actually felt inside. I spent a lot of time outdoors staring at the stars, feeling like my home was out there somewhere. I did research on Starseeds, and even though it felt like some of it applied to me, I still felt like something was missing from the equation. During all the free time I had to think when my son was napping and my partner was at work, I thought about my life from the point it was at and looked backwards, and started to make all kinds of different connections built off the things I had figured out in the years previously. I started to notice a distinct pattern of events in different periods of my life, I noticed themes popping up in my life over and over again. I noticed people would show up at key moments in my life and disappear at other times. All of this was interesting but I still felt like something was missing, something that would put all the pieces together for me, because no matter how much I pondered about things, I knew something was missing still.

I was researching entities on YouTube after having a feeling like something was hanging around our place. I feel this a lot, I have since I was a child, but only until recently knew what I was experiencing. My son was waking up in the middle of the night crying for no reason and would take awhile to calm him down enough to sleep. He’d cry like he wasn’t even aware we were there. It was a very strange occurrence. It only happened every other month or so but when it did it took a very long time to calm him down. My partner also felt something trying to stop him while he was trying to astral project. I immediately smudged our entire place, and everything felt better for awhile, until I felt it again. I wanted to understand what it was, so after looking around, I came across this interview, where this guy, Aaron Abke was talking to another guy about negative entitles and The Law of One. As soon as I heard that term I was like, wait, I know what that is. Did someone tell me about it? The term, The Law of One, just resonated with me. I thought maybe my partner’s Mom told me about it, because she was always buying us spiritual books as gifts, but when I asked her about it she had no idea what it was.

I watched the video and I made a mental note of the guy talking about it. Later my partner mentioned it again, and it reminded me that I wanted to look up Aaron Abke and The Law of One on YouTube. I started watching his videos on The Law of One and kept feeling like everything that was being said was something I knew already. I had no idea how I knew it, I just knew that I did. I couldn’t get enough. When I watched the videos I had more questions, I wanted to know more. I watched his video on Wanderers and I felt strange inside, like something sleeping was coming awake. I started to resonate deeply with the concept of Wanderers and the Law of One, and I needed to know more. I downloaded all the pdf’s of The Law of One and read the first 3 books over a course of a month, as well as The Wanderer’s Handbook which I am about 400 pages into the unabridged version. While I was reading the beginning of Book 2 of The Law of One, I had a huge breakthrough. Reading about Wanderers was resonating with me on a level that was so deep and intense that I couldn’t stop reading. I decided to do some more mushroom therapy prior to finding this information because I was trying to connect to my higher self and get some answers or direction in my life. During one mushroom experience, I was outside in our backyard and I heard my higher self talking to me. They showed me how everything was one, as I merged with the trees, the air, and everything around me. I felt how everything was connected, how everything was actually one. I felt touched and humbled by this experience. The one particular experience that solidified everything for me occurred when I was reading in The Law of One about how nuclear bombs can almost eviscerate a soul completely, as they were talking about the bombs dropped in Japan during WWII, and that Ra and other 6th density entities do their best to help heal and repair those souls so there is no loss of these souls, which would be a devastation to the one infinite Creator. After reading this passage, I was flooded by an overwhelming amount of emotion, for some reason I remembered these souls and how lost and broken they were after being wiped out of 3rd density by nuclear war, like I worked with them myself some how. I understood how devastating it would be to lose a soul that is infinite in nature. 

Questioner: Could you please give me an example from, let us say, Hiroshima or Nagasaki of how this is done?
Ra: I am Ra. Those who were destroyed, not by radiation, but by the trauma of the energy release, found not only the body/mind/spirit complex made unviable, but also a disarrangement of that unique vibratory complex you have called the spirit complex, which we understand as a mind/body/spirit complex, to be completely disarranged without possibility of re-integration. This would be the loss to the Creator of part of the Creator and thus we were given permission, not to stop the events, but to ensure the survival of the, shall we say, disembodied mind/body/spirit complex. This we did in those events which you mention, losing no spirit or portion or holograph or microcosm of the macrocosmic Infinite One.

This quote from the beginning of Book II of the Law of One solidified it for me. Reading this passage still makes me well up with tears. That is when I remembered that I am a Wanderer of 6th density, here to help raise the frequency of the planet for harvest. I was born in 1981 and began the more intense part of my spiritual journey around 2012, the time when the master cycle of 3rd density was complete. It just made sense to me, everything in my life lined up in ways I couldn’t see before, but now made perfect sense to me in relation to my life. 

It was weird that the more I read, the more I knew this was true. I can’t really prove this rationally with anything other than faith and intuition, but it’s just a deep knowing/understanding that I feel is hard to put into words, more that it’s meant to be felt and not analyzed. But it is not in my nature to not explore things in as much depth as possible. I have spent a lot of time reading the information and processing whatever feelings/emotions/memories that came up from the information I was processing. I found that my entire life linked to The Law of One; everything about the evolution of the soul just made perfect sense to me. All of a sudden, my entire life made sense. The way I was made sense. The things I had experienced made sense. Nothing felt like a mistake anymore. I have started to forgive myself for being the way I am and now see value in the gifts I have been given.

I think this is my first time on Earth and I spent the majority of my soul’s evolution in another solar system. I have had lucid dreams where I asked to see the moon and I was always shown a moon that was not the moon associated with Earth. It didn’t look the same at all. I have Fibromyalgia and allergies to everything because my souls native frequency does not align with the vibration here. I am observant and endlessly loving and forgiving because I have learned these skills over many, many lifetimes. I can feel energies, I can hear people’s egos talking, feel their emotions as if they were my own. I notice everything with little effort, even if making sense of what it was I saw can take some focus and period of reflection and meditation. I have a bond with nature, with animals and water. I walk around barefoot and wearing flip flops most of the year to absorb energy more easily from the planet. I found reasons for all the quirks I have or had, reasons for all the gifts I possessed. I finally was able to get a clear picture of what my life was. Everything shifted for me, like I was looking through a blurry telescope and all of a sudden, someone wiser than I corrected the focus and made everything perfectly clear. 

I know this is all the beginning of the rest of this incarnations experience to gain more positive polarity to be service to others. Now that I remember why I am here, all I have experienced makes sense. I have let go of suffering, of the past, of painful experiences. I see then as guideposts of growth. There has been a downside in that I feel negative entities see the light of being an awakened Wanderer, and find they want to put out that light. I felt a negative entity trigger a kidney stone attack during a mushroom trip shortly after figuring out who I am. I was meant to be on mushrooms when that happened to feel that negative presence. I had a kidney stone last year and it scanned my mind and saw that I was scared to have another one. I felt squeezing around my body in a burst of energy and then the pain was triggered. I was actually even talking about pain with my partner and how it’s used as a catalyst of experience, right before this happened. I made it through that experience and learned from it. I thanked that negative entity for showing me how they operate, and reminding me to drink more water and taken better care of myself. I feel like I can learn from any experience now, and life doesn’t feel so heavy and serious all the time now. It’s nice to let go and see where life takes you, knowing it will take you to your next learning experience.

Thank you all so much for sharing in the experiences I have had. I have so much more I would love to share. I have so many experiences I have reflected on that I’d love to use to help other Wanderers wake up, to remember who they are. If anything, these experiences have lead me to knowing myself in a way I wish to share with others to help know theirselves too. It has given me a freedom beyond words that I just want everyone who is struggling to experience. I am hoping people will see themselves in a clearer perspective through the observations I’ve made of my life. We all connect and learn from information and experiences in ways that are unique and you will never know if you could have helped if you don’t try. So this is the beginning for me, to help serve others in a larger picture, by first sharing the story of how I got to where I am now with anyone who wants to read it.

This is just the beginning, as I will use every moment, every experience, every emotion to learn, grow, and be at peace with myself, and with others. I have a long way to go, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t also come a long way already. Now in my life, knowing that there is always more to learn is oddly comforting, when it used to fill me with chaos and dread. Now there is a peaceful part of me watching everyone with new eyes as I go on to the next phase of learning. 

I wish you all love & light, thank you for listening. 

Steppingfeet Wrote:
Beautiful and insightful opening lines. It is funny that in the less-than-conscious chapters of our journey, life may seem to fall in random fashion, a swirl of memory and experience of disparate pieces of data unified only in that they happened to you; but as the self is understood, pattern and meaning become increasingly visible, and the sense of randomness in the journey decreases. Given the scope and depth of your telling, from young age to present, I can see someone finding their way not by outer accomplishment, per se, but by gaining inner understanding, synthesizing the threads of seeming chaos into emergence of self-authored meaning and pattern, though confusion as ever persists in our veiled condition.

Steppingfeet Wrote:It is admirable that even in the midst of the self-destructive impulse, which you earnestly attempted to put into motion, there was still a "desire to get up and keep trying no matter how bad things were, no matter how isolated I felt or how I didn’t feel at home anywhere. I knew I couldn’t give up. I didn’t now why, I just knew I couldn’t. So I kept going."

Steppingfeet Wrote:Including that "Everything about being together was hard." It is funny that two who want to be together need to be together are magnetized to be together, bring all their imperfections and impurities to light through the friction of that magnetism. My wife and I have known our fights too, and our hard months, but like you indicate about being a little changed on the other side, they do have a way of mirroring and revealing something that would benefit from self-work within each of us, which typically revolves around learning how to open the heart. In our tenth year now, it is a liberating gift to feel one's own heart more authentically, less guardedly, more sweetly as you love this other-self ever and ever more deeply.[font=UICTFontTextStyleBody].[/font]

Steppingfeet Wrote:
  In my experience, limited though it is, this is one of the primary powers of awakening to one's potential soul's origins, particularly with the aid of the philosophy of the Law of One. It can help bring meaning and order where before there was none. Security. Understanding. Explanation. I make sense. I have purpose. I am not broken. 

Steppingfeet Wrote:
Thus highlighting one of the functions, I think, of the life that programs for suffering: gaining empathy for suffering, growing the fire to serve others in their suffering, learning how to help others through their suffering. Not to say that those qualities were lacking in you early on, because your story is threaded with pain for the suffering of others, but I do believe that we train ourselves in certain ways to be able to meet certain calls..

(12-15-2021, 04:42 PM)Quincunx Wrote: Interesting story. We're about the same age. I feel uncomfortable talking about my story. It includes extrasensory phenomena and things I have seen with my physical eyes that I cannot explain. I don't know if people are ready for such information. UFOs are one thing but my experiences are ridiculous to try to explain.

(12-15-2021, 03:02 PM)Spiritualchaos Wrote: In the past when I didn’t understand, I would ask myself, “Why is this happening to me?” And now it feels like there is a neon sign with an arrow pointing at every catalyst that comes up going, “This is something to learn, pay attention.”

(12-15-2021, 03:02 PM)Spiritualchaos Wrote: Right now, the lesson here is realizing what I need and loving myself enough to fight for it, for myself, and my family.  The old me would have thought I didn’t deserve the things I wanted in my heart. My true self knows we all deserve happiness, peace and love because we are made of peace and love.

(12-15-2021, 03:02 PM)Spiritualchaos Wrote: ...and then I feel the physical effects of anxiety and I’m curious as to what triggered that sensation. I turned that voice down in my head so low it barely is audible anymore, and I never listen to it when I can hear it. But it’s still affecting my body in a way that is confusing.

(12-15-2021, 03:02 PM)Spiritualchaos Wrote: It’s definitely feels like a puzzle someone spilled in the dark that I am slowly finding all the pieces for. The more light I find inside myself, the easier it will be to put it all together.

(12-15-2021, 03:02 PM)Spiritualchaos Wrote: We started out raw and have slowly healed ourselves with each other’s love and support.

(12-15-2021, 03:02 PM)Spiritualchaos Wrote: Oh how do I understand this, more than ever. I have been piecing together things that I thought were irrelevant to the story that are now glaringly obvious that they always mattered. And the more I learn, experience, and continue to grow, the more easily I can see it. I have found a new excitement in my day-to-day activities, I look forward to learning stuff from challenges. I appreciate everything for what it is, and am excited to live moment to moment and gain more from every experience, every interaction, every chance for growth. For once I don’t fear the future, I welcome it for all of it’s opportunities.

(05-24-2022, 01:37 AM)LeiwoUnion Wrote: It's hard to point a direction when all vectors go to the same point. All we can really do is to be the carriers of that famous mirror, keep it polished, and be in hopes that someone takes a look into it.