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+--- Thread: My search for meaning (/showthread.php?tid=1951)
My search for meaning - Nabil Naser - 12-11-2010
I was about 10 years old, when with tears on my cheeks, I looked up to the sky and denied God. You don't exist. I yelled. If you did, you would not cause all this misery to people. I don't remember what made me sad and angry at God. My family was, and to some degree still is, religious. I went to Catholic school and was an altar boy. Many within my extended family worked and lived in the church, as priests, nuns, or helpers. But on that day, I began a journey that lasted more than 20 years.
My dad, while far from being rich, was an intellectual who spoke several languages, and we had a decent library with many of the major literary classics, which I read with excitement and enthusiasm. Even during my teenage years, as I was always looking for better understanding of the world. And once I had denied that God existed, I had to find an alternative. If God didn't do all this, then what did?
My college years where a mix of study, wild behavior, and melancholy. After college, and once in the real world of family and work, the same old questions started demanding answers. I had worked out a principle years back, that said, "everything is connected connected to everything else, without a beginning or an end". For some reason this seemed to make sense to me. Perhaps because of my belief in social justice, or because I couldn't find a better explanation.
After a particularly difficult period of time, about 20 years ago, I sought help, and was introduced to meditation. What happened after that, is still happening now. A new world opened up for me. I began reading books as if they where the most important thing in the world. I averaged more that a book a week for the next 10 years. While some where fiction, many were on physics, genetics, chemistry, scripture, theosophy, philosophy, computer technology, psychology and more.
One of these books was The Ra Material. I can say with certainty that the teachings of Ra where a major catalyst for my desire to read. I found that other books are talking about what Ra said. This became very fascinating, and set me on a journey to find more books that relate to Ra's ideas.
Today, I feel that I am finally over my denial of God. In the back of my mind, I was never really sure. I have forgiven God and myself for my outburst when I was a child.
Now, I understand what God is. And I feel comfort in knowing that I can't be separated from the creator.
It has been a very interesting journey so far. There was a lot of suffering without a doubt. But looking back, I don't see how else I could have learned what I know now. Am I grateful for the suffering? I can't say that I am, and I hope it will not visit soon.
I am here to share with you what I have leaned from all these books that I have read. I want to share with you the connections between Ra's words, and what can be found in many other books.
Ra said that information has been passed through many books, with some veiling. I am uncovering the veil.
Love, light and Peace
Nabil
RE: My search for meaning - Aaron - 12-12-2010
2 books a week for 10 years is 1040 books! Wow! And yet the search for meaning continues...
Nabil, I want to offer you a welcome to bring4th if I haven't already.
Maybe we all can create some kind of meaning here that has meaning to all of us. 
RE: My search for meaning - Nabil Naser - 12-12-2010
Most of the time it took at least a week to finish a book. Some books took a lot longer. The Secret Doctrine was never finished completely, and is still being used as reference, just like the Ra Material, which is in tatters now.
I must have read Ra's words a dozen times if not more.
Some fiction books took a lot less.
But you are right, the learning never stops.
(12-12-2010, 01:12 AM)Aaron Wrote: 2 books a week for 10 years is 1040 books! Wow! And yet the search for meaning continues...
Nabil, I want to offer you a welcome to bring4th if I haven't already.
RE: My search for meaning - Ashim - 12-12-2010
(12-11-2010, 11:28 PM)Nabil Naser Wrote: Am I grateful for the suffering? I can't say that I am, and I hope it will not visit soon.
Your sacrifice has been huge dear Brother and we are very very grateful for your Loving Service.
Follow the great hope that you feel and you shall discover the wonderful source.
Please continue to share your story. You are much loved.
Love & Light
RE: My search for meaning - Lavazza - 12-14-2010
I'm so glad you're here Nabil. I rarely have time for long conversations these days, but I read everything. Please do continue lifting that veil.
E
RE: My search for meaning - Brittany - 12-14-2010
I plowed right through the Ra Material, but for some reason it is taking me ages to read Seth's books. Prolly cause the chapters are so long. :p
RE: My search for meaning - litllady - 12-16-2010
I think its very important to learn that all the sufferings and great things in our life both taught us things and gave us opportunities to learn from.
Someone told me once...a mature soul can cherish both the good and bad, for they see both molded and shaped them to where and who they are today. Look at the suffering in the world on a larger scale. How could we know that we can do better globally, without having the mirror to look in of the ones that suffer. One day a mature world can look back and see all the bad and good things that happened on this Earth had something to offer that was needed.
How do we know the worth of 'being' without the knowing of death and that life is short? Would we know to make the best of every day and every moment...if we lived for hundreds of years? Would we know the worth of love without experiencing what the lack of love causes?
I too went through the times of reading all that I could. I now...read life.
Loved your posts! I think you are on the right track in seeing that even the times that we suffer....provide us with something.