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The Sexuality of Each Experience - Daze - 12-31-2020 *This may have been better suited for the Spiritual Development section, sorry! I have long had issues concerning sexuality, being quite reserved repressed in many ways. This manifested in many distorted ways: sexual insecurity, judgment of sex and sexuality, extremely critical views of both women and men even in seemingly non-sexual contexts, porn addiction, and self-destruction. This is to present a picture of some of the patterns that I proceed from. Sex and sexuality were thus often taboo and unexplored subjects. Were I to consider even posting this two months ago, I perhaps would have died of fright nor have had much to say at all. I’m hoping to hear if others have experienced this in a similar manner. I have recently been aiming the ‘See the Creator’ lens towards sexuality, both within myself and others. As I have done this, I have found that my sense of sexuality feels to extend beyond the standard framework presented by my culture. What began as accepting and loving the lustful and physical aspects of sexuality became a broadening of sexuality itself. In trying to see Her form underneath the seductive garments, I was able to see also Her movements. When turning my gaze to the rest of the world and to my daily life, I would also seek Her face beneath the many veils. And yet I found that the sexuality She and I shared was present not only in those conformly sexual things, but amidst the mundane life I lived. The intimacy once tightly constrained now flowing openly. I wash the dishes as I always have, but feel Her movements in the working of my hands. Her touch in the plates and water. I speak to a friend and hear Her siren melody warm in my ear. I rub my eyes to remove the sleep from them, and I am caressing Her face while feeling Her touch on my own. If the Beloved has worn veils and endless garments in all my previous attempts to see Her, then in these moments She has lifted Her veil and admired Her own eyes and Her own touch. Moving on from poetics, I am reminded of this section from Ra (49.6), which I find congruous with my own experiences in this: Quote:Ra: I am Ra. The metaphor of the coiled serpent being called upwards is vastly appropriate for consideration by your peoples. This is what you are attempting when you seek. There are, as we have stated, great misapprehensions concerning this metaphor and the nature of pursuing its goal. We must generalize and ask that you grasp the fact that this in effect renders far less useful that which we share. However, as each entity is unique, generalities are our lot when communicating for your possible edification. What I am trying to get at is that with the embracing of sexuality and opening up to it, I feel a sense of sexuality with the world at large. Following Ra’s statement above, I see the movement of sexuality from “base” survival instincts and into the acceptance of sexuality in regards to myself and then as well to others. I intuit that it’s at the heart where sexuality seems to redefine itself seemingly infinitely. There is the sense that each experience has that sexuality which provides an eagerness for life, for its Self, for Others, and for simply being what it is. Sexuality (and, of course, all other experiences) is illuminated within the temple of the heart. Here in the heart’s light there is the shedding of garments to reveal that this, too, is but one facet of love. From the heart’s temple, there is then movement towards a great altar where this gift/sacrifice is then both offered and received as sacrifice/gift. In this lens, the intimate experiences of my own Self are laid naked and bare upon Her altar, where She too lies in offering; both given without any reservation. Since this process and these experiences, I have found so many of the distorted expressions of sexuality that I mentioned at the top of the post to have largely melted away. Not that they will not recur, of course. Yet it is still surprising how effortlessly and almost without notice they have slipped away when they were such a strong source of shame, anger, and pain. Forgive the floweriness of my presentation, as I find intellectualizing is often akin to putting remarkable treasures behind thick glass in a museum. I've also found Alan Watt's lecture on the Spectrum of Love to be fitting to this subject as well. RE: The Sexuality of Each Experience - Louisabell - 12-31-2020 When I read your post, it made me think of this quote from Ra: Ra Wrote:"32.10 Questioner: Can you expand a little bit on what you mean by “complete fusion nature? Within our passage through life, I see the Creator as having two natures, the manifest and the mystery. I think Ra likened it to intelligent energy and intelligent infinity. The manifest is that which pervades all our senses, while the mystery is that which engulfs, drawing us ever further into her infinite depths. The sexual dynamic can therefore be explored and expressed throughout many levels of the creation, so that one may come to see that that which you seek, seeks you out as well. RE: The Sexuality of Each Experience - sillypumpkins - 01-01-2021 Beautifully put Daze Since before I can remember I've been sexually repressed, and it has manifested in many of the ways you mention. I'm still sort of puzzled by sexuality on the whole though. Idk, growing up in western society, and constantly being exposed to all the overt and base sort of depictions of sex may have just triggered a reaction of "oh that's all there is to it, that's gross and shallow, no need to get into that on any level" when I was younger. I think that having such a biased and negative perspective on sexuality has caused me to become unable to see the other side of it. Seriously, when I try to imagine a sort of holistic sexuality, it's pretty difficult to imagine what that is like. There's a block there. And it's also sort of difficult for me to imagine, having been cut off from that part of myself, my whole experience being one of a sexual nature, because sex is soooooo gross (wink), that it's almost sort of unbearable to imagine for me. Aaaah RE: The Sexuality of Each Experience - AnthroHeart - 01-01-2021 I spent 2-5 years strengthening my energy field, and now do sexual energy exchanges with a higher dimensional being (Anubis) now. One of many Anubis beings. It can be like fusion feeling and is very intense. It is like constant orgasm the whole time and can go on for hours at a time. RE: The Sexuality of Each Experience - Daze - 01-02-2021 (12-31-2020, 07:49 PM)Louisabell Wrote: Within our passage through life, I see the Creator as having two natures, the manifest and the mystery. I think Ra likened it to intelligent energy and intelligent infinity. The manifest is that which pervades all our senses, while the mystery is that which engulfs, drawing us ever further into her infinite depths. The sexual dynamic can therefore be explored and expressed throughout many levels of the creation, so that one may come to see that that which you seek, seeks you out as well. Both the quote and what you said align with my own experiences. Particularly the manifest and mystery of the Creator is something that I have experienced time and again. Often what seems to keep these separated is my own clinging to illusions. And in surrendering to the unknown, there is the ecstasy of togetherness. Where my own seeking, longing, and vulnerability is reflected back with perfect understanding. sillypumpkins Wrote:Since before I can remember I've been sexually repressed, and it has manifested in many of the ways you mention. I understand what you mean. Those experiences that we cannot even remember seem the hardest to really deal with. I find that the long suppression and sense of constraint on my own sexuality has helped me to feel more acutely just how much I have missed, even though I often felt like it was something that would never change. Like discovering a new color. RE: The Sexuality of Each Experience - sillypumpkins - 01-02-2021 Quote:I find that the long suppression and sense of constraint on my own sexuality has helped me to feel more acutely just how much I have missed wonderful, thank you for sharing Daze RE: The Sexuality of Each Experience - flofrog - 01-03-2021 I find that there is a point where sexuality and sensuality melt together to a certain softness that reach intelligent infinity, ,and then is some way pure sexuality in itself melts into unconditional love. RE: The Sexuality of Each Experience - meadow-foreigner - 01-03-2021 Sexuality is expression and interaction. Work out your emotional centers and your social integration to better understand your situational momentum and just roll with it. RE: The Sexuality of Each Experience - BrotherInWaiting - 01-04-2021 Thank you for the lovely post..! It's hard work to build that kind of understanding and I am personally benefiting from the thoughts you've shared here! Much appreciated |