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+--- Thread: Helping a loved one through grief (/showthread.php?tid=18010)
Helping a loved one through grief - sillypumpkins - 02-28-2020
Hey all, not sure if this is the right section to post in, but I here I go!
My girlfriend's mother has been sick since we met each other (2.5 years ago.) She's had her ups and downs. Yesterday she went back to the hospital due to some internal bleeding. Turns out she has septic shock now. Operation is off the table, she wouldn't make it. She's on her final days right now. She could go today or tomorrow.
Anyways, my girlfriend obviously is sad about losing her mom. She's probably going home for a week to see her.
I've never been in a relationship with someone during a time like this. I know there isn't anything I can say to help. The only thing I know to do is to sit with her quietly, listen, and hold her. I'm not sure what else I can do though.
I've never lost somebody like a mother or brother (in this life anyway,) so I don't have much experience with grief.
Can anyone offer words of advice? I'd appreciate it
thanks
RE: Helping a loved one through grief - kristina - 02-29-2020
Well, first of all, wow I am so very sorry. For her, her Mother's suffering and for yourself. I have loads of experience in losing people but I have to tell you there is no right or perfect way to handle the grieving process. It just "is". The best you can do is seek clarity to understand and wisdom for insight to handle your girlfriends changing emotions as she will go through a list of them. There will be a time you may experience her and she has gone from total sorrow to complete anger. Keeping yourself grounded will help you to stay outside of her emotional overwhelm and remain objective. Kind of like when one is weak the other is to remain strong. This way, you both do not fall.
Sepsis is a very painful death. Is she in a coma at this time, in ICU?
Sometimes they will induce a coma bc of the pain. Look, you don't have to answer that. My heart goes out to you and the family.
Death is a transformative process from a metaphysical standpoint. And your girlfriend's Mother's incarnation is finished. She has done her work and is going to leave this world and go to the next. The Mother lives on in a much more vivid world than this, sharper images, brighter colors, without the baggage of the yellow ray body and the fading health. Some of us have a hard time letting go of the people we loved for so long but, we will join them again soon. Most of us come to reincarnate together, over and over again. There is little doubt that your girlfriends Mother will be awaiting her daughter's return home. Literally so. Your girlfriend's Mother is going home.
RE: Helping a loved one through grief - flofrog - 02-29-2020
Silly so much love to you and to her. So many thoughts to you both and her mother.
If you can find somehow to make her laugh with you, fir a few seconds, it might help a lot of you two.
Very much love dear Silly
RE: Helping a loved one through grief - sillypumpkins - 02-29-2020
Kristina and flo,
Thank you both for your lovely replies.
My partner ended up getting a flight home that was supposed to be for today (2/29.) Shortly after, she got a call from her brother saying that it was looking like mom might depart that night (2/28.) My mother ended up getting her a last-minute flight (bless her) for last night, in hopes she'd make it in time. Unfortunately, mom passed while my girlfriend was in the air.
Kristina, I know she was on a lot of drugs when she went. I don't think she was feeling much pain. I know she was quite scared to leave her daughter behind. I hope she wasn't too afraid when she went. Perhaps the drugs helped to relax her. It makes me a little sad that she was taken so quickly like that. I know I'll see her again though. Goodbyes are hard when you're human.
I do find peace in knowing that they will be reunited again. Their bond is strong. I can see a lot of them in each other
Flo, I actually started reading Journey of Souls several days ago. It's been helpful during this time. I'm going to pass it on to my partner once I feel it's the right time.
All is well. I will be flying out for the funeral next week.
Thanks again