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+--- Thread: black loneliness (/showthread.php?tid=13452)
black loneliness - sjel - 10-20-2016
today my chest is caving in, perpetually folding in on itself from the loneliness. a literal shriveled blackness that relentlessly absorbs me from the inside.
no physical contact with humans for a year and a half
no friends. if this is self-pity, im glad ive staved it off for so long.
RE: black loneliness - Aion - 10-20-2016
I know the feeling well, even when others are around it can be hard to shake. Perhaps not friends yet, but those here can be growing allies. You are at least not alone in your loneliness.
RE: black loneliness - isis - 10-20-2016
(10-20-2016, 10:27 PM)sjel Wrote: no physical contact with humans for a year and a half
massage therapist?
RE: black loneliness - smc - 10-20-2016
.... ....
RE: black loneliness - Karl - 10-21-2016
I think I feel what you feel but I can't be sure.
RE: black loneliness - Billy - 10-21-2016
I feel you bro, it has been quite intense as of late. Hang in there.
RE: black loneliness - Nau7ik - 10-21-2016
I'm sorry sjel
I am hugging you in my heart right now and praying that the Lord's angel will comfort you. Loneliness can be hard. But it's only temporary. At least know that you have friends here who honestly care about your well beingness. You are loved
RE: black loneliness - anagogy - 10-21-2016
(10-20-2016, 10:27 PM)sjel Wrote: today my chest is caving in, perpetually folding in on itself from the loneliness. a literal shriveled blackness that relentlessly absorbs me from the inside.
no physical contact with humans for a year and a half
no friends. if this is self-pity, im glad ive staved it off for so long.
That can be a rough situation sjel. I've been there, many times. I feel for you. Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel, but use it as a place to pivot to a new experience. All emotions are acceptable and proper at different points in time, but you don't want to make a home out of the negative range.
You have a choice. You can continue to focus on where you are (which from your description doesn't sound like it is wanted), or you can focus on where you want to be.
Do you know what the very first manifestation of your thoughts is? Emotion. That is the very first manifestation that all the other, more tangible/physical, experiences begin to congeal around. Emotion tells us where we are focused, it is like the preview manifestation for what is coming up in the future.
If you can manage the magical trick of focusing more on where you want to be, than where you currently are, you are going to be surprised to find your emotions change to a more positive state. That is your preview, like the waft of scent from a freshly baked pie, of the new future you have in store for yourself. And if you can manage the yet still greater magical trick of *keeping* your attention there more often than not, you will begin to see synchros in the direction of what is wanted lining up. With enough practice you don't have to consciously think about keeping your attention there, it becomes subconscious and automatic (this is what happens when you accept a new reality and "believe it").
This is all easier said than done, and I failed at this stuff for a long time before I attained even a small degree of success with it. So don't beat yourself up if it doesn't all click immediately, but you have power to change. What you are really seeking, at a deep level of your being, is transformation. That is what all this catalyst is for.
You don't have to force the circumstances to change. It is simply a reflection of your vibration. A lot of people think they have to force change ("make it happen"). If manifestation worked that way, well, it wouldn't be very much help would it? Simply hold onto the end feeling (though, I'm gonna tell you right now, straight up, that at first it is like trying to hold onto a very slippery fish). The other variables will gradually coalesce into observable form. You will feel impulses to do certain things, and they will feel natural, and they will lead to what you are looking for.
RE: black loneliness - BlatzAdict - 10-21-2016
being lonely sucks.
try to do or say something that would allow someone to connect with you and go deep. i went to the Law of One chat room just now and said the most random thing. hahaha
say what is in your heart. you're lonely because you want to be heard, and understood, so say what it is that people are not understanding.
we are with you brother.
RE: black loneliness - Karl - 10-21-2016
(10-21-2016, 10:21 AM)anagogy Wrote:(10-20-2016, 10:27 PM)sjel Wrote: today my chest is caving in, perpetually folding in on itself from the loneliness. a literal shriveled blackness that relentlessly absorbs me from the inside.
no physical contact with humans for a year and a half
no friends. if this is self-pity, im glad ive staved it off for so long.
That can be a rough situation sjel. I've been there, many times. I feel for you. Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel, but use it as a place to pivot to a new experience. All emotions are acceptable and proper at different points in time, but you don't want to make a home out of the negative range.
You have a choice. You can continue to focus on where you are (which from your description doesn't sound like it is wanted), or you can focus on where you want to be.
Do you know what the very first manifestation of your thoughts is? Emotion. That is very first manifestation that all the other, more tangible/physical, experiences begin to congeal around. Emotion tells us where we are focused, it is like the preview manifestation for what is coming up in the future.
If you can manage the magical trick of focusing more on where you want to be, than where you currently are, you are going to be surprised to find your emotions change to a more positive state. That is your preview, like the waft of smell from a freshly baked pie, of the new future you have in store for yourself. And if you can manage the yet still greater magical trick of *keeping* your attention there more often than not, you will begin to see synchros in the direction of what is wanted lining up. With enough practice you don't have to consciously think about keeping your attention there, it becomes subconscious and automatic (this is what happens when you accept a new reality and "believe it").
This is all easier said than done, and I failed at this stuff for a long time before I attained even a small degree of success with it. So don't beat yourself up if it doesn't all click immediately, but you have power to change. What you are really seeking, at a deep level of your being, is transformation. That is what all this catalyst is for.
You don't have to force the circumstances to change. It is simply a reflection of your vibration. A lot of people think they have to force change ("make it happen"). If manifestation worked that way, well, it wouldn't be very much help would it? Simply hold onto the end feeling (though, I'm gonna tell you right now, straight up, that at first it is like trying to hold onto a very slippery fish). The other variables will gradually coalesce into observable form. You will feel impulses to do certain things, and they will feel natural, and they will lead to what you are looking for.
You've got good descriptive abilities. That's a very good way of putting it.
RE: black loneliness - Minyatur - 10-21-2016
I think the moment I felt most hurt and most alone in my life, is a moment I ended up finding it so insanely beautiful it just made me start laughing at how messed up it was to cry and find it beautiful.
I really really don't think I made any new friend in this life, they all are soul mates and we came as a group. So, I would think you made the choice to be far from those you would resonate with because you wanted to earn something from this.
Are you able to see how insanely beautiful your loneliness is? Because I think if you see this, then you will transmute your sorrow into love for both yourself and others and will shine brightly in this world. You will also open yourself to change in your circumstances.