My Wanderer story (Lighthead) - Printable Version

My Wanderer story (Lighthead) - Printable Version

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My Wanderer story (Lighthead) - Lighthead - 03-28-2015

I've been relatively active of late, but I've been reluctant to write a Wanderer story because, as I told someone else, I don't know where to start and how to end it. And what I didn't tell them is that I wasn't sure with what to fill it up with! But since I'm writing this as a draft, I hope to write a little at a time.

I was born and raised in Southern California (I don't want to say exactly where for privacy reasons). I've pretty much always lived in low income neighborhoods (I'm actually still in a low income neighborhood) and, ever since I was little, I've always wanted to know what it was like to live in a better neighborhood. And so I've pretty much always seen the vast difference between the haves and the have-nots. In other words, I have seen with my own eyes how unjust the world tends to be. I would say that while my friends have succumbed to the vicissitudes of living in those kinds of areas, I've pretty much always had a different mentality.

I think that it all started with my parents. My mom came from a small port town in Guatemala (Central America), but her dad was pretty much one of the most affluent residents in that town. But what makes me respect my grandfather even more is that, while he was born in 1891, he was way ahead of his time. I don't want to make this story as long as it could be, but, because of an illness that afflicted one of his children he became a naturopath (he very much believed in the healing effects of water), and he was also a vegetarian (which was rare for that time and location). He raised the rest of his kids as vegetarian, and this left a very strong impression on my mom (even though she later went away from that).

Since I wasn't raised around my dad, I don't know a whole lot about my dad's family; at least not as much as I know about my mom's. I just know things like the fact that he is from the same town in Guatemala as my mom, and that his dad was killed for being left-wing during an autocratic regime. My maternal grandfather was incidentally also almost killed for being right-wing (during the Arbenz regime; autocratic, but socialist). Visiting my dad from time to time, I've also learned that I think almost exactly like my dad. We are both into far-off mystical philosophies and into abstract theoretical models such as quantum physics.

So even though I had the same situational background as my peers, my parents provided a different, I guess you could say, metaphysical background than the ones that led my friends to fall into the same patterns that the other inner-city kids fell into. I remember being a kid during the different parades that came to the city. I remember thinking to myself, 'If you don't act your age (as a young person), people are going to think something's up.' What kind of kid thinks like that? I also had various mystical experiences that I told no one. I didn't really know why I was so different from everyone around me, but after reading the Law of One much later now I know why. When I was going to school at one point, the teacher thought that I was developmentally challenged. For a time, I was going to what they called a Resource Specialist. They gave me a test, and to the person's surprise I was able to spell the word, pterodactyl. She herself admitted that even she couldn't spell that, but, nonetheless, they kept me with that Resource Specialist. I suspect that what made them think that I was "special" was that I have a disease similar to Asperger's. But I have yet to be diagnosed.

Eventually, my mom and I moved to the suburbs. When I got there, they hooked me up with a Resource Specialist there too. But not only did they not think that I was "special," they ended up putting me in the gifted program (the program I was in was called, GATE). I was a bit of a nerd when I was still in the inner-city, but when I got to the suburbs, I went full nerd (a Tropic Thunder reference).

When I was in that particular area of the suburbs as a kid, I had a really strange experience that, nowadays, I'm almost convinced was a message from the Confederation. One day, I happened to look towards the bookcase that held our encyclopedia set. On top of the bookcase was an arrowhead, but it wasn't a typical arrowhead. It was an arrowhead that seemed to be made out of some kind of crystal (its features were also rounded and it seemed to not have a function as a weapon or as a hunting tool). I asked all of my friends if they left it there, and they all looked at me as if I was from Mars (they weren't good liars; I would have instantly known if they were lying). I'm not necessarily saying that the arrowhead just appeared out of thin air, but the circumstances surrounding that arrowhead and how it got to where I found it are bizarre. I really do think that the arrowhead was the Confederation telling me that I wasn't alone. Incidentally, I was starting to get into aliens, time travel and stuff like that at the time. I also started to get into astrology at that time. My mom had a book on sun signs that I would look at from time to time.

Things took a little turn for the worse once I started 7th grade. When I got to 7th grade, I went to the local combined Junior High and High School. Even though there were people there that knew me from 6th grade, I decided that I wanted to shed my nerd image. I decided to be the cool kid that didn't care about breaking the rules. I eventually started doing drugs to fit in and I started to hang around the wrong group of friends. I also started to look into Eastern religions at this time.

When I went to community college, I continued to fall back on my bad patterns, fell in with a really bad crowd, tried LSD, and completely flipped out. I flipped out so hard that I eventually had to go to the hospital for mental illness. The good thing is that, eventually, I ended up at a really good hospital that helped me get back into shape. They convinced me to sign up for disability insurance. The bad news is that I ended up with a mental illness that has given me little to no motivation to work.

For somebody who has always had a thirst for knowledge (I put that encyclopedia set when I was a kid to good use), the internet has been a real blessing. I learned almost as much about everything New Age that I learned in all of the books I had. And, to be honest, I have surpassed at times what I've been able to learn in my personal library. I don't exactly remember the full history of the rabbit hole that led me to the Law of One material (that's the nature of rabbit holes), but it basically goes something like, the channeled Seth material, conspiracy board, Hidden Hand, the Ra material. Seth Speaks is something that I would read voraciously when I was going to college. I must have read that book at least 100 times. I eventually bought one part of a volume set of a portion of the Seth sessions, and some of the other books I have read online. But, to me personally, nothing compares to the Law of One material. When Hidden Hand mentioned how accurate he deemed the Ra material to be, I sort of scoffed at that remark (I was thinking about how truly accurate the Seth material was), but when I finally read it online, I was no longer skeptical. I have tried to study it as much as possible, but I am still truly always seeing something that I've never seen before.

I also became convinced that I was a Wanderer. The alienation, check. The various illnesses, check (I also have osteoarthritis, which the doctors can't explain for various reasons). Check, check, check...

The interesting thing is that I have also felt some intense pressure from STS entities while reading the Ra material. And I think that the kind of pressure that I experienced is something that is rarely talked about here. While reading the portions about the Negative Path and Orion entities, I felt an ecstatic temptation to become Service to Self. I really felt a strong desire to go the other way.

Ever since then, I haven't really felt as intense a desire to be Service to Self. I tend to feel compassion for others at times. But, in general, I tend to find it hard to really want to polarize. Another thing that is not talked about that much here is that I've learned that it is best to not force polarization on oneself. I truly think that it is something that should come naturally. I also don't think that it is so healthy to have an intense desire to graduate, or to go instantly to 6th density if you are a Wanderer. I really do think that 3rd density catalyst is something invaluable, and I think that it is something that you should relish. You probably think that when you get back you'll decide to never come back here, but the real acid test is when you're between lives and the veil is lifted. And, trust me, you'll see things way differently. I'd be surprised if you don't run back here.

So those are the things that I've experienced and learned. I feel like I've learned a lot since I've been truly active on this board. I am truly grateful to the experience that I've had since I've been active as of late. I registered last year. I was on and off just creating threads at first, but I feel like I've gotten the most out of it in this past month or so. I've enjoyed it so much that I haven't even had time to read the Ra material (which is, in its own way, bad; I admit). That's not to say that the Ra material is like our Bible (as Carla mentioned in a video), but there are just a lot of hidden gems there. I also enjoy rereading things that I liked before.

Well anyway, I'm glad to be here and I hope you enjoyed my story!

Feel free to PM me about anything.

RE: My Wanderer story (Lighthead) - Plenum - 03-28-2015

awesome story! thanks for sharing Lighthead Smile

RE: My Wanderer story (Lighthead) - third-density-being - 03-28-2015

Thank You for Sharing, Dear Lighthead.

(03-28-2015, 02:33 AM)Lighthead Wrote: When Hidden Hand mentioned how accurate he deemed the Ra material to be, I sort of scoffed at that remark (I was thinking about how truly accurate the Seth material was), but when I finally read it online, I was no longer skeptical. I have tried to study it as much as possible, but I am still truly always seeing something that I've never seen before.

Exactly same thing goes for me. Every time I'm reading Ra materials or rereading Seth Words, I'm drawing from Them something, I haven't noticed/understood earlier.

And no, it is not "bad" that You have break in reading The Law of One - RA 's Words are there for You, when You will be ready, willing, and in need of Them. I would even write, that such breaks are necessary if they are occurring. Do what You feel You want, not what You think You should - always. In your own, intimate pace.

All I have Best in me for You