Personal Experience of "Mind Control" - Printable Version +- Bring4th (https://www.bring4th.org/forums) +-- Forum: Bring4th Studies (https://www.bring4th.org/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=1) +--- Forum: Spiritual Development & Metaphysical Matters (https://www.bring4th.org/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=9) +--- Thread: Personal Experience of "Mind Control" (/showthread.php?tid=14075) |
RE: Personal Experience of "Mind Control" - smc - 02-09-2017 (02-09-2017, 04:06 AM)Ashim Wrote:(02-09-2017, 12:07 AM)SMC Wrote: I'm sincerely sorry that this will seem insulting to you Ashim; Hi Ashim, This would be a long answer which I don't have permission to discuss here. For what it's worth - I do feel your experiences have metaphysical significance... but like others I came to this site because of a body of channelled work with rigorous protocols; and so after seeing several gentle cautions to you - I reacted to defend Carla/Don/Jim. I was also alarmed to read about you using synthetic 'cannabis' - but I wouldn't have been if you were using laboratory tested hash/mdma/lsd/ayahuasca for your spiritual/metaphysical journeying. I wish drugs were legal. Then there wouldn't be these awful chemical concoctions by desperate dealers that eat people from the inside out. There is some seriously toxic chemicals involved. Hearing you use this stuff concerns me. You didn't feel it (sorry) but it was caring about you that made me so stern also. I can have a very 'stern' tone because I have seen a lot of BS, done a lot of BS, endured a lot of BS and see the world in a very sharp focus. You were already receiving gentle (some stern-ish) feedback but I waded in in combats and wasn't caring enough for your feelings. I'm sincerely sorry. Infinite Unity says we should be allowed to discern for ourselves... I say yes.... aaaaand.... no.... aaaand... I also didn't want to patronise you by pretending I agree you're channelling Ra. Again, (for what it's worth to you) your experiences are interesting and your way of describing them really compelling. Are you a writer? It's incredibly well written. Thank you for the learning I need to do about me Best wishes. RE: Personal Experience of "Mind Control" - Jade - 02-09-2017 Quote:"Is that something you read about on the internet or do you have personal experience of this?" I wasn't sure if you were asking me but it seems as if you might have been. Maybe it was rhetorical. I'm quite familiar with cannabis and have been smoking it for a decade now. One day, while still living in Iowa and unable to access cannabis, my mother, who is in prison now for selling meth, showed me this stuff that her friends who were on probation smoked because it didn't show up in a urine test. I bought a couple bags from the liquor store - no ID required, and the liquor store was across the street from a high school and eventually the owner got in big trouble because he didn't care how old the kids were who were buying it - it made me sick, it made me hallucinate in a bad way, and the high lasted barely 20 minutes or so so you have to smoke way more than regular cannabis to get similar effects. But, the effects were hardly congruent. However, my couple smokes I thought were "okay" so I told my dad about it. He was a few years from retirement at his city job and lamented about his inability to smoke weed. He... developed a problem. He's always been the type to "experiment" with "legal" highs (drinking with his benedryl, drinking with his ambien, etc) and this one became a giant dragon to chase. He started spending all of his money on it (he was making almost 6 figures but still had to borrow money from my grandma for food for him and my little brother), ordering it in large quantities online - and even a couple of times had packages stolen off of his doorstep that contained hundreds of dollars worth of the stuff, and he lost his mind. Anyway, during this time he became extremely paranoid, and eventually he started to gather tiny slights of mine that he blew into huge deals. I don't know if I'll ever even talk to him again, because he's literally a completely different person, and that person is pretty far gone and has had a lot of changes in their brain chemistry that I wouldn't say were beneficial. I thought it might have been the K2 so I did research on its effects, and the brain damage it causes. I'm not sure what else would have caused my father to go from loving me and seeing me as a valuable part of his family to despising me and harassing me and then literally wanting to never talk to me again, as it definitely happened while he was smoking it - he used to ask me to go pick up the packages off his doorstep so they wouldn't be stolen, and I was the one who told him about it, so at the beginning of this he stilled loved and trusted me. Now, it's very likely he'll never forgive me, because he hates me so much and thinks I'm an evil, selfish person. So, there's my anecdotal story about K2 and why it scares me. The fact that you say you specifically used it to "blow open the upper energy centers" scares me even more. This Ra quote rings in my head: Quote:The healing ability, like all other, what this instrument would call paranormal abilities, is effected by the opening of a pathway or shuttle into intelligent infinity. There are many upon your plane who have a random hole or gateway in their spirit energy field, sometimes created by the ingestion of chemicals such as, what this instrument would call LSD, who are able, randomly and without control, to tap into energy sources. They may or may not be entities who wish to serve. The purpose of carefully and consciously opening this channel is to serve in a more dependable way, in a more commonplace or usual way, as seen by the distortion complex of the healer. To others there may appear to be miracles. To the one who has carefully opened the door to intelligent infinity this is ordinary; this is commonplace; this is as it should be. The life experience becomes somewhat transformed and the great work goes on. RE: Personal Experience of "Mind Control" - Ashim - 02-09-2017 (02-09-2017, 11:17 AM)Bring4th_Jade Wrote:I wasn't but thanks for your comments anyway. The same goes for everyone who has voiced their concerns about this matter.Quote:"Is that something you read about on the internet or do you have personal experience of this?" Really this little detail of my story was in no way written to condone or recommend the family of synthetic cannabinoids. In fact I would expect most discerning readers would want to avoid them at all costs, especially if they continue to follow the story. I was an experienced but never reckless user of some drugs prior to my spiritual awakening and did spend countless hours researching the chemicals I eventually chose to take, being fully aware of the potential dangers of doing so. I performed allergy tests and took the substances within a safe and controlled environment. No one came to any harm, although I did have a couple of close calls that I describe later in the story. Next chapter coming soon. RE: Personal Experience of "Mind Control" - Infinite Unity - 02-10-2017 That's awesome can't wait to read it. RE: Personal Experience of "Mind Control" - Kaaron - 02-11-2017 Some people on here are LOO nazi's. "The LOO says...", "if Don, Carla and Jim..." blah blah blah. Do you factor into account the fact that the earth is fully 4th dimensional now and the energy may have altered us to a point where the contact with Ra is less of a stretch, so to speak? What about the fact that Ashim is telepathically connecting from what I can tell, so they aren't taking over his body...this is the method the confederation uses to contact us. Ra even talks us through how it works. I get answers from Ra daily...if you don't, maybe you should stop believing only a certain configuration and ritual make contact possible. RE: Personal Experience of "Mind Control" - Infinite Unity - 02-11-2017 Well said kaaron. RE: Personal Experience of "Mind Control" - alicewhite - 02-11-2017 Well worth reading RE: Personal Experience of "Mind Control" - smc - 02-11-2017 (02-11-2017, 04:51 PM)Kaaron Wrote: Some people on here are LOO nazi's. "The LOO says...", "if Don, Carla and Jim..." blah blah blah. full-on disrespect when you were incredibly low we sent love and support to you what arrogance RE: Personal Experience of "Mind Control" - Kaaron - 02-12-2017 (02-11-2017, 11:16 PM)SMC Wrote:Straight up truth and I stand by what I say. It's something I've thought long and hard about so for you to dismiss it as arrogant and disrespectful is plain wrong.(02-11-2017, 04:51 PM)Kaaron Wrote: Some people on here are LOO nazi's. "The LOO says...", "if Don, Carla and Jim..." blah blah blah. I'm still low n never asked you to do s*** anyway so don't try to emotionally manipulate me. I think the most arrogant person here is you and you've proved that over and over SMC. Don't waste your time trying to tell us all how you're so loving and everyone else is the problem when it's OBVIOUS that it's you with the problem cos it can't be EVERYONE ELSE with the problem when you're the common denominator... You wanna cast insults and get personal...lets go...I got nothing but time. RE: Personal Experience of "Mind Control" - Aion - 02-12-2017 Something tells me such a battle is folly. Ashim is no different from anyone else who comes on to this site with their experiences and what they choose to share. The fact that some will not even let him finish his story before concluding their opinions tells me that they are not really interested in listening, maybe even learning and instead seem to be focused more on 'controlling the catalyst'. Just be quiet and listen to the story and see what within it is relevant to yourself. Y'all haven't even heard the full story yet. Quote:We begin with the mental learn/teachings necessary for contact with intelligent infinity. The prerequisite of mental work is the ability to retain silence of self at a steady state when required by the self. The mind must be opened like a door. The key is silence. RE: Personal Experience of "Mind Control" - Kaaron - 02-12-2017 I'm sorry, I didn't really want to have some kind of battle of wits...I was merely advertising my ability to go to both extremes. The light seems to be taking a breather at the mo...the other parts of the all don't mind filling the void. RE: Personal Experience of "Mind Control" - Aion - 02-12-2017 Well, I mean, I agree with you for the most part, so I understand where you're coming from. I have learned from other sources that the channeling of Ra isn't as rare as is claimed in the L/L contact and since the practices which the L/L team used were based in the concepts of the source I have a difficult time not seeing certain contradictions. There is always the possibility in my mind that one or the other has been 'duped', but the other possibility is that Ra is perhaps not only accessible on one level, or even in one form. Maybe someone can get a 'different' Ra from another as in a parallel Ra but whom is still just as much and fully Ra in the mind of the universe? However, this could mean that one particular Ra, such as that in the L/L contact IS rare to channel, but that other parallel versions of Ra are also 'rare'? Or, maybe the first sessions weren't entirely Ra and maybe a bit of Carla, Jim and Don too. I can't really say at this point, I need to do more meditation and research, but as such I am in an interesting position of both believing largely in the genuineness and truth of the L/L material as well as questioning the details of its articulation. It does not 'feel' the same throughout its entirety. I imagine I will be more enlightened once I am able to peruse the transcripts of the other Ra channelings I have heard of. Also, I don't really have anything against SMC. I see the passion from which she comes but as I said I don't think there is any sense in putting up resistance. Just nod, smile and listen. The silence speaks for itself sometimes. RE: Personal Experience of "Mind Control" - GentleReckoning - 02-12-2017 I'm surprised this is still a thing. Ra necessarily couldn't break a belief of anyone in the circle. So Ra is limited as always by the crown chakra of a channel. A channeled source that does this quickly creates great discomfort which creates fear, which creates a feedback loop of death (of some kind). It's obvious with the Ra channelings. All distortions were heightened. Ra simply became grumpier with the contact over time. AKA, Carla's body. As Ra was being filtered through her body. So Ra appears differently to everyone, just as I, you, or anyone would. RE: Personal Experience of "Mind Control" - smc - 02-12-2017 (02-12-2017, 12:01 AM)Kaaron Wrote:(02-11-2017, 11:16 PM)SMC Wrote:Straight up truth and I stand by what I say. It's something I've thought long and hard about so for you to dismiss it as arrogant and disrespectful is plain wrong.(02-11-2017, 04:51 PM)Kaaron Wrote: Some people on here are LOO nazi's. "The LOO says...", "if Don, Carla and Jim..." blah blah blah. RE: Personal Experience of "Mind Control" - Aion - 02-12-2017 (02-12-2017, 01:36 AM)GentleReckoning Wrote: I'm surprised this is still a thing. Ra necessarily couldn't break a belief of anyone in the circle. So Ra is limited as always by the crown chakra of a channel. A channeled source that does this quickly creates great discomfort which creates fear, which creates a feedback loop of death (of some kind). It's obvious with the Ra channelings. All distortions were heightened. Ra simply became grumpier with the contact over time. AKA, Carla's body. As Ra was being filtered through her body. Yeah this can has been kicked around since 2011 at least. At least on the forums anyways. RE: Personal Experience of "Mind Control" - GentleReckoning - 02-12-2017 (02-03-2017, 06:32 PM)Ashim Wrote: I had been spending so much time on the internet, reading, digesting, meditating, that my wife was becoming even more distraught than usual. I'm finding most souls use the feminine expression to get into whatever they want to. Much greater chance to just explore reality by going to the logical conclusion of each energy/emotion/expression of connection/power/control etc. RE: Personal Experience of "Mind Control" - outerheaven - 02-12-2017 I always wondered why you had the "Sphere within Sphere" as your avatar, Ashim. Ah-ha, mystery solved. RE: Personal Experience of "Mind Control" - Jade - 02-12-2017 (02-12-2017, 12:35 AM)Aion Wrote: Something tells me such a battle is folly. To be fair, I thought this segmented story was being presented in such a way for discussion. I mean, the thread is titled Personal Experience of "Mind Control", I thought we were supposed to put on our discernment hats when we entered. The whole "sacred cow" of the Law of One thing is because there is an integrity in the work, the culmination of Don's life's work, in the Ra material. I would hope that, on a forum dedicated to the study of the material, that there are people who speak up when someone comes in and says that they are channeling Ra because they took a bunch of synethetic chemicals and now Ra is telling them what planet that they are from (infringement according to Ra in L/L's LOO) and also what their "mission" is (also infringement according to Ra in L/L's LOO). Maybe I am just a Law of One nazi, or maybe it's an awareness of nuance in the material from reading it a dozen or so times. I understand not everyone studies the material the same way I do, but these were red flags to me, and my understanding of what I've read. Quote:45.3 Questioner: Can you tell me if a large percentage of the Wanderers here now are those of Ra? The other thing I find suspect about solo Ra channelings is that, in the group, Ra gave them a very specific ritual in which to call Ra. They also had to perform the banishing ritual of the lesser pentagram with regularity in their working space. I have yet to see anyone else speak of Ra giving them purification rituals with which to call them. Anyway, before I was ever a mod, I remember times when "Ra channelings" that others had made were removed from the forum, because this is a forum dedicated specifically to L/L Research's channelings of Ra. Putting random Ra channelings on these forums is dangerous, because someone who is new to the material might come here, see this "Ra channeling", and believe that Ra is encouraging them to take dangerous, consciousness-altering/brain damaging/easily obtainable (mentioned as such in the post!) chemicals and and then sending them on missions involved with Orion. I mean, it makes a good story, but it's dangerous when this material is already calling to people who have untuned magical abilities, or what society considers mental illness. I just really think the subject of drug use and channeling should be discussed thoroughly and taken seriously. The whole of the Ra material was affected poorly after Carla took two doses of LSD. She struggled with problems that stemmed from that basically for the rest of her life. RE: Personal Experience of "Mind Control" - Aion - 02-12-2017 Well the LBRP is a ritual designed by the Golden Dawn, that wasn't given by Ra. Also Carla used the Lord's Prayer often to tune herself. In the Golden Dawn this actually always precedes the LBRP in the form of the Qabbalistic Cross. They did however give a line of questioning with which to call which specifies they seek the Law of One and they seek Ra because they are a messenger for the Law of One. Lest we forget, Ra actually didn't say LSD was bad and even said it could be helpful if used right. Quote:18.3 Questioner: You just stated that you had some problems with the instrument because of the ingestion by the instrument of some chemical substance. Can you tell me what the substance was? Also noting that LSD is a totally synthetic chemical. RE: Personal Experience of "Mind Control" - Agua del Cielo - 02-13-2017 I must also state that i'm mainly concerned with the integrity of the material, as Jade already stated. I have read so many poor channelings in my life, and i've seen so many seekers led astray and confused by this. I am extremely grateful for material of a purity such as the Ra material available. To me, even the Q'uo channelings, although very good and in a practical way almost more appliable, have a considerably lower "vibration" or "frequency" to it than the Ra material. That said i would also say a few words to channeling in general. I have to admit that i never made any attempts to channel except my higher self, so my conclusions might be wrong. I have had and regularly have contact with what i would call "higher" beings. There was never ever any kind of verbal conversation. My understanding at this point (might be wrong) is that the communication is non-verbal by its nature, the translation process would then happen in the person channeling. So it would be "me" coming up with the words. When i listen to many channelings, i get the impression, most people just "channel"their ego, some channel negative entities that throw in a few useful hints here and there, and only very very few actually manage to channel a highly evolved positive being without distorting the message too much. The big challenge would be for me, how do i differemtiate where the message comes from? How do i keep my ego wishes, my desires and my distortions as well as my imperfections out of the way? Apart from that, i would wait how the story continues. Ashim could as well come to the same conclusions or something entirely different might happen. And, congratulations, this thread seems to contain a whole load of catalyst for many RE: Personal Experience of "Mind Control" - Jade - 02-13-2017 Quote:Lest we forget, Ra actually didn't say LSD was bad and even said it could be helpful if used right. Session 18, Ra says LSD is BOTH good/bad. Let's put your quote into context: Quote:18.1 Questioner: I was thinking last night that if I were in the place of Ra at this time, the first distortion of the Law of One might cause me to mix some erroneous data with the true information that I was transmitting to this group. Do you do this? So, Ra brought up the LSD because it was creating "errors" due to the drop off. IF Carla took the LSD FOR channeling, it wouldn't have dropped off - however, how many more times do you think Carla could have taken LSD and survived? Do you really think that the two sessions were "improved" because of her LSD usage? (They were longer, but then led to much shorter ones in the future due to her being sick) Quote:26.40 Questioner: The instrument asks, How long do the debilitative effects that I am experiencing from the use of [LSD last, and] is there anything that we can do to make the instrument more comfortable? This was more of my point. Not that the LSD helped or didn't help the contact, but that the LSD practically destroyed the instrument. Her weakness/martyr distortions were the main problem through the rest of the contact. Everyone thought Carla was going to die and she was willing to. I don't think this would have been exacerbated nearly as much if she hadn't gotten sick for three months almost immediately into the contact because of a "poor decision" (I'm sure in her view) that she made. Here is Ra specifically not recommending LSD for Carla, and presumably anybody who has a distortion towards low vital energy: Quote:Ra: I am Ra. There is no activity which this instrument engages in which affects its abilities negatively. There is one activity which affects its abilities positively. This is the sexual activity, as you would call it. There are substances ingested which do not aid the individual in the service it has chosen, this being that which you would call the marijuana. This is due to the distortion towards chemical lapses within the mind complex causing lack of synaptic continuity. This is a chemical reaction of short duration. This instrument, however, has not used this particular substance at any time while performing this service. We believe we have covered the use of such chemical agents as LSD, this being positive to a certain extent due to the energizing or speeding up of the vital forces. However, it is not recommended for this instrument due to the toll it takes upon the vital energies once the substance wears off, this being true of any speeding-up chemical. Here Ra is saying that negative entity is the one who set up the LSD experience for Carla: Quote:25.1 Questioner: …asking first what cause or complex of causes has led to the instrument’s chest cold, as it is called? You seem to really be ignoring the "big picture". Overall, Ra is not condoning LSD use. In your quote they said it could be helpful, but it's both helpful and unhelpful. And, we were originally not talking about LSD here - we were talking about chemicals that we know even less about their effects on the brain/body. Ra also says this about LSD (and other chemicals like it): Quote:There are many upon your plane who have a random hole or gateway in their spirit energy field, sometimes created by the ingestion of chemicals such as, what this instrument would call LSD, who are able, randomly and without control, to tap into energy sources. They may or may not be entities who wish to serve. The purpose of carefully and consciously opening this channel is to serve in a more dependable way, in a more commonplace or usual way, as seen by the distortion complex of the healer. Ra obviously, to me, advocates the latter, being what a large majority of the Law of One text is about - how to carefully, and consciously open the channel to intelligent infinity, with polarity - not by blowing open one's upper chakras, or blowing random holes in their aura, with synthetic chemicals. Each of these corresponds directly with a Transformation of the Mind. How are you choosing to access your subconscious resources? Forcefully? Good luck. I know that Ra didn't -give- the group the BRLP, but encouraged it when Don brought it up (over creating their own ritual), nor obviously the Lord's Prayer (I am not sure this is mentioned at all by Ra), but again, this part with walking the Circle of One seems to be an anomaly for people who "solo channel". Quote:2.6 Questioner: Consider them asked. I mean, I don’t have anything to go on. What is the proper use of this instrument? What should we do to maximize her ability to… comfort, rejuvenation, etc.? It's just a little more elaborate than any other attempts I've seen. I'm perfectly willing to consider that I might be being deceived by smoke and mirrors. RE: Personal Experience of "Mind Control" - Aion - 02-13-2017 No, the bigger picture is that Ra did not condone OR condemn it, but rather gave only an assessment of elements, that is kind of Ra's thing. Each makes their own choice from there. I won't disagree or necessarily agree with you, but I will say the ritual given by Ra is not so elaborate but that's actually why it is useful for the intended purpose of contacting Ra. It was designed for the Trio. RE: Personal Experience of "Mind Control" - Aion - 02-13-2017 Quote:The only remaining distortion available, since this entity would not detune and would not cease sharing love universally under this chemical substance, was simply to drain this entity of as much energy as possible. This entity has a strong distortion towards busy-ness which it has been attempting to overcome for some time, realizing it not to be the appropriate attitude for this work. In this particular area the ingestion of this substance did indeed, shall we say, cause distortions away from viability due to the busy-ness and the lack of desire to rest; this instrument staying alert for much longer than appropriate. Thus much vital energy was lost, making this instrument unusually susceptible to infections such as it now experiences. This last distortion was the one that got her, but it wasn't strictly because of the LSD but rather because of staying awake too long, not eating and likely not hydrating. These things will certainly damage someone with already low vital energies. Someone with very high vital energies maybe not so much. RE: Personal Experience of "Mind Control" - Jade - 02-13-2017 Right on, it's very true that we all just see what we want in the elements that Ra presents. I'm just trying to present what Ra has said about things more thoroughly. Your initial post said "Ra didn't say LSD was bad and even said it could be helpful" which is only partially true. There are obvious drawbacks that Ra mentioned were possible, and really what I'm talking about are the manifestations of ill effects experienced by Carla. I mean, if a weakening of the vital energies was the negative entities who planned this experience's plan C, I can only imagine what it might have done to someone who had weaker spiritual energies than Carla, as that was her strength. Apparently a loss in polarity and a negative sexual energy transfer with Jim were the real prizes - three months + of increased illness was just the consolation prize. RE: Personal Experience of "Mind Control" - Infinite Unity - 02-13-2017 When's the next chapter coming out? RE: Personal Experience of "Mind Control" - Aion - 02-13-2017 (02-13-2017, 12:32 PM)Bring4th_Jade Wrote: Right on, it's very true that we all just see what we want in the elements that Ra presents. I'm just trying to present what Ra has said about things more thoroughly. Your initial post said "Ra didn't say LSD was bad and even said it could be helpful" which is only partially true. There are obvious drawbacks that Ra mentioned were possible, and really what I'm talking about are the manifestations of ill effects experienced by Carla. I mean, if a weakening of the vital energies was the negative entities who planned this experience's plan C, I can only imagine what it might have done to someone who had weaker spiritual energies than Carla, as that was her strength. Apparently a loss in polarity and a negative sexual energy transfer with Jim were the real prizes - three months + of increased illness was just the consolation prize. For sure, in the context of Carla I can agree with you. However, I would not take that to mean that every experience with LSD ever is manufactured by negative entities, that seems a little far-fetched to me but seems to be the warning you are trying to put forward? There were both drawbacks and benefits described by Ra and the helpfulness/unhelpfulness of which was conditional to Carla's condition. Just for curiosity, do you have much personal experience with LSD? Although perhaps we should continue this in another thread (there probably already is one, I know I've had this discussion before lol). I think intoxicants are probably one of the most controversial elements in spiritual circles. RE: Personal Experience of "Mind Control" - Spooner - 02-13-2017 You're messing in very dangerous territory. I fully expect and encourage you to ignore me if you wish to exercise your free will in your current direction. However to newcomers and others fascinated with this story I only add the caveat that I feel instinctively ill-at-ease about this story. There is a very good reason why Carla et all used stringent challenges before beginning any channel. If you walk in the jungle--expect tigers. Material on the proper channeling standards: http://montalk.net/metaphys/127/standards-of-channeling RE: Personal Experience of "Mind Control" - Turtle - 02-13-2017 (02-13-2017, 08:10 PM)Spooner Wrote: You're messing in very dangerous territory. I fully expect and encourage you to ignore me if you wish to exercise your free will in your current direction. However to newcomers and others fascinated with this story I only add the caveat that I feel instinctively ill-at-ease about this story. There is a very good reason why Carla et all used stringent challenges before beginning any channel. If you walk in the jungle--expect tigers. Yeah, for the newbies, Spooner is pretty much right. RE: Personal Experience of "Mind Control" - smc - 02-14-2017 I have deeply loved a person whose life was nearly completely destroyed by LSD. He went from a successful, creative career, to walking highways bare feet bleeding, teeth falling out, half clothed, stealing food, refusing help, in full psychosis - as the result of 'recreational' LSD use. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/6870484 Quote:LSD psychosis or LSD-induced schizophrenia? A multimethod inquiry. Vardy MM, Kay SR. RE: Personal Experience of "Mind Control" - smc - 02-14-2017 Kaaron - writing: Quote:Some people on here are LOO nazi's. "The LOO says...", "if Don, Carla and Jim..." blah blah blah. is disrespectful and arrogant - and if me pointing that out to you makes me "the most arrogant person here" you may want to look at that absence of logic. I did not wish to be hurtful to you. I wanted to say to you that a forum of people who gave you so much love (to your thread) were being abused by you - and I wanted to wake you up to the unkindness of your words. You were being hurtful and it was your nastiness that I responded to. But you can't take the same energy back at you? That's a double standard. You're not the only person on these forums who struggles with suicidal feelings. I do also. On a daily basis. I see many people have 'liked' your opinion of me being "arrogant". Many forum members have 'liked' this: Quote:I'm still low n never asked you to do s*** anyway so don't try to emotionally manipulate me. well - so be it. I can not trust this community and have never felt I could - and this is the proof. Women/girls should not have to continually pacify angry male energy. It is a submissiveness I cannot 'adopt' so as to be accepted in this community. B4 changes me and I don't like that. In my daily life I interact with people with mutual respect. Women and men. And the interactions are positive and loving especially when they're challenging. I've been enduring my own daily journey of avoiding suicide and don't need what could be a spiritual sanctuary, to be such a harsh place of regular instances of disrespect. I acknowledge that my energy here has been strongly assertive/defensive.... this is because the 'tone' of so much behaviour here has meant I have never felt I can trust to share who I am - or be vulnerable... The treatment of me when I'm 'assertive' has been so rude and aggressive it has proved my caution is well founded. We can see how you, Kaaron - have been far more aggressive in saying "LOO nazis" (etc) and in making such a hurtful reply to me - yet you are getting support from forum members - and I'm not.... this is the proof of what I'm saying. B4 is de-tuned. |