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Seasons of the self
Published by Jeremy6d on September 19, 2015 3:47pm.  Category: General

I can feel a moment of grace, of centeredness, of ease of being slipping away as the energy of Homecoming--but more generally, the energy of inspiration--fades into the balance of the human life.  The soul has its seasons, I suppose.


The challenge right now is not to continue maintaining the connection; at this point I feel I have no other choice but to do this.  Going back to full immersion in the real world just won't cut it anymore.  The actual work is to keep the faith and hope that undergirds it, to maintain the authenticity of the connection as something of true value.  That sense of significance within seems more important than the intensity or wholeness of the connection itself.  I'd rather the connection be faint and genuine than clear and suspect.  


How does one accomplish this in such an overwhelming, magnetic phenomenal world that knows exactly how to drag you back into illusion?  The noumenal, hyper-subjective seems so useless, and it defies the ability to express.  You cannot look for it in any other guise but the hidden carrier wave of the locked eyes, as those of Ra say.  Verily this is the candle in the dark room experience, which can at least be recognized, even if it lacks total satisfaction.


I think meditation is the key.  In meditation the inner subjectivity is apprehended and allowed to be.  One sees that emotions exist, thoughts exist, blockages exist, being exists.  The interior landscape rises into view.  To be wet when it rains, warmed when the sun shines, and touched when fog parts is also to be chilled when the storm hits, parched when the drought deepens, and alone when the night falls.  As a native American once said when he was asked whether he was cold in the winter with such minimal clothing, "Yes; but I'm alive".


I wish to be alive, no matter what that means, and that's a choice I make moment by moment, day by day, as the gravity well of the world oscilates around me.

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Bring4th_GLB(Posted on September 19, 2015 12:56 pm)

It's difficult to describe what motivates me and why, year after year, I continue walking the path... or rather, returning to the path after the focus has been snared by the many distractions and deviations of the phenomenal world. Maybe it is a compulsion, maybe it is a gift of self-motivation, maybe it is a function of pre-incarnational design, maybe it is a dim awareness of the inner light. Whatever the case may be, spiritual seeking is a necessity. Though there are a pantheon of other desires, at my core is the desire for self-realization.

But whether the fire comes naturally and burns of its own accord, or whether the fire must be re-lit or restoked through the seeker's own efforts, I think that you're right on the money in identifying meditation as one of, if not the, key means to keeping that flame alive. Meditation opens us to that inner spring that is always waiting to revitalize, rejuvenate, reinvigorate, and inspire the journey.

Hope you can keep to a daily practice my friend! Few more powerful and potent practices do we have in our own hands to help us to fulfill the actual, deeper purpose of our incarnations. : )

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jeremy6d(Reply to Bring4th_GLB on September 19, 2015 2:44 pm)

If I fall out of the practice, I'll just pick it back up. As a perfectionist, this is the real lesson--that meditation is not about some immediate benefit, nor some rigid discipline. I'd rather not meditate than make it a chore. So far, this attitude is serving me well, and it's keeping my mood light which helps when one finally turns the attention to the self.

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