I did the Morning Offering and then got myself ready for the day. Today the Q’uo quote comes from January 21, 1990:
The question this evening has to do with the means by which those who are in mated relationships might use the mated relationship to further, not only the relationship, but also the metaphysical or spiritual growth that each wishes to accomplish within the incarnation.
(Carla channeling)
I am Q’uo. Greetings to each of you. [Inaudible] of the one infinite Creator. [Inaudible] bask in the beauty of each unique [inaudible] unique spirit within this dwelling place. The beauty and the [inaudible] within this heavy [illusion] is very moving to us.
We would like to remind each that we are but those brothers and sisters on the path that you are following. Our [inaudible] are perhaps a bit dustier, our experience is perhaps richer and fuller, but we are not infallible, we are not authorities, we speak our opinions and some of our opinions may not be those truths which may personally pertain to you in the conditioning that your [inaudible] at this time. Therefore we ask you to beware of relying upon our authority, or any authority. But rather, when you hear truth that is your personal truth, you will feel as though you are remembering it rather than learning it for the first time. And you will resonate as an instrument does, a harp when touched by the wind, and you shall be inspirited and in your inspiration lies the removal of the fate of this planet. So listen in faith, but accept only those things that seem so to you as being helpful and allow the rest to pass away from your memory as not being part of your personal truth at this time. For there are many, many levels of learning upon this path of seeking and each entity moves at a different pace and in a different creation. In a creation as unique as that person is. Which brings us to the subject which was requested this evening.
Each entity of the mated relationship is a unique being. There will always be an “I” and a “thou.” One may gaze at this as a centrifugal force, a dynamic which swings each within the union away from the center of that union into those specialized environments which are made for the path of service that each has chosen. No two entities have the same path of service. No two entities can do everything together and if they were to do everything together they would be far more poorer than their relationship because of their slavishness to behavior. A mated relationship is not strengthened at the level of behavior, but, rather, is nourished by deeper and more dynamic forces from within.
Thus, the first thing that will aid the mated relationship is the constant respect of the free will of the other self. That other self may do things which are not understandable to the self. It is not necessary that each understand the other. For yours are not the lessons of reason, yours are the lessons of love. And so you attempt, in freeing each other, to move outwards from the center of the relationship, to encourage that self to be that self, to nourish and enrich that self, knowing that the self is accepted unconditionally as it is, with no desire for any change or variation. In this way, the mirror one holds up to the other becomes clear and still and accurate.
Because each is unique, there is sometimes a frightening realization that honest disagreements of a fairly deep nature exist. In the atmosphere of honest disagreement, there needs to be a realization of that which is beyond the surface, intellectual and emotional thinking. That awareness is a centripetal force that brings the couple back to the center to become “one.” This becoming one does not diminish either self, but is rather a different entity which you may call “us.” Each us is an unique blend of perspectives, biases and viewpoints, just as each are unique in self. This us-self is the beginning of what has been called a social memory complex. Total acceptance of another, without the need to understand, creates an atmosphere in which understanding becomes possible. Intellectually, one can only be hagridden by attempts to understand and rationalize the behavior of another.
To attempt to live as a couple, moving from the mind and not from the heart, is to imprison both in the very narrow room of logic [pause] and sacred or cherished belief systems. We urge each in a mated relationship to remember that the most precious thing they possess is invisible and is an entity that is created by both selves, working together in service to the one Creator.
Thus, there is the self, the other self, and the Creator. That is the “us,” for which you may strive with all good health and faith.
The group question for this session was how those in a mated relationship may use the relationship to enhance the relationship and also use it for spiritual growth. Q’uo began their reply by saying that it is necessary for each in a mated relationship to realize that each is a unique being and that each has their own path of service and their own way of living their life, so each should respect the other’s free will choices. Q’uo went on to say that there would be times of disagreement that need to be honored with acceptance of the different points of view that will eventually be resolved if both come from a place of love that will allow the creation of the shared sense of “us” to be strengthened as it also includes the Creator. On September 21, 2003, Q’uo spoke of the nature of the mated relationship that also includes the Creator:
Mated relationships are a triad. They are not two partners against the world. Rather they are a temple that has been enlarged so that two entities’ lives may be dedicated to that which is larger than themselves, larger than their worldly hopes, constituting that ark which contains those things that one couple wishes to save from the flood of the everyday. Into this ark of mating each may pour their ideals, their hopes, their dreams, their desires, their intentions, and every precious truth and spark of beauty that they have found and loved and made their own. Two entities offering these gifts to each other and to the Creator create a temple with a dome of light that, as that mated couple works through time and through circumstances which try every nerve and every part of the self, becomes stronger and stronger. Every time there is a situation met together, and energies are allowed to move between the two and the Creator is included in all discussions, no matter what the outcome of such a situation is, no matter how difficult the catalyst or how long the journey towards a solution seems, the dome of light is being strengthened because the journey is being made heart to heart, hand to hand. And always with the realization that the Creator and the Creator’s love is a huge part of the relationship.
The degree of purity and honesty between two entities is the key to clarity within mated relationships. To allow misunderstanding is to set the plumb line and lay the first brick in a wall that can never be broken down completely. When the occasion occurs wherein the mated pair feels that there is an antagonistic relationship, both entities need to step back and gaze at that stumbling block. Are two mated entities adversaries if they pull the same cart, carry the same hopes, and strain with every fiber of their being toward the passion of mystery? Certainly not! So when there is antagonism, objectify, acknowledge and accept this momentary antagonism. Discuss it, dissolve it, forgive it, and move on. Do not allow the first brick to be laid in a wall of separation.
This is an enormous challenge. We put you to it, for you have asked us how you may best use the mated relationship. It is hard work. We may mention also that the “us” of each in the relationship is enhanced greatly by that great enhancer of the unique individual. That is, meditation on a daily basis.
Meditation together is possible. Quiet times, reading times, inspiration times. It could be only five minutes long, it could be only ten minutes. If it be just a few seconds with the meeting of the eyes, in the understanding that each is on the other side, that each is in there pitching for the other and is never over against the other, then have you won through to a level of trust that will enable each to mirror to the other that which the self is actually manifesting in an objective sense. For subjectively it is entirely probable that the self shall be the own—we correct this instrument—shall be its own best stumbling block, fooling itself with rationalizations about the self.
In a mated relationship, each is the teacher to the other. In the complete and utter equality of children of the one infinite Creator, each is equally equipped to serve as a mirror to the other self. Each is perfectly equipped by that within, that we may call the Creator-self, for each of you is a mixture of the Creator and free will. When two entities come together, they come together willfully, their wills are variant, and the road is bumpy indeed, nor does it ever smooth out entirely, for there is no end to the lessons one may learn, no end to the refinement of those lessons.
Thus, do not fool yourselves if you feel you are smarter, more intuitive, an older soul, or in anyway elite or other than completely equal as a metaphysical being to the mate. This mutual respect and recognition offers to each the potential for great works in faith.
Then Q’uo said that if a time should occur in which the entities in the mated relationship feel the antagonism of disagreement that it is necessary for each to engage in a discussion of the problem, find forgiveness, and then move on. Q’uo also suggested that regular times of meditation together, or reading inspirational works could be helpful in establishing a trust that each is committed to the relationship and each is thusly the teacher of the other. On May 14, 1989, Q’uo spoke about how each of the mates can be a teacher of the other:
One does not know how long these seasons last or when the oasis shall appear, and in each mated relationship it is only after much work together that entities move in their moods together. Most often entities move according to their own rhythms and have not unified with the other entity enough to experience the same emotional life. Therefore, one of the mated pair may be stolid while the other is excitable. One may be calm, while the other speaks quickly and enthusiastically.
Communication is most difficult. To practice it, simply practice telling the truth to yourself, the whole truth as you see it. When one says it out loud, one hears it about oneself for the first time, and one may, perhaps, learn that one has not got the right of it yet. So, in communication with others you open yourself up to the mirror of your mate, your friend or whomever you are speaking to. And this mirror, if the mirror be objective and kind, is the most incredibly helpful mirror that you may have.
Before we close we would wish to address the subject of the paths of service that each has. Each has certain environments, peculiar to that person alone and not shared by the other. These environments begin quite subjectively within the mind and the heart of the individual. Two entities may stay in the same room gazing at the same scenery through an entire incarnation and learn completely different lessons. But more than that, each entity shall move out into the world, hoping to aid it, to serve it, to be one with that which makes things better, more unified, more peaceful, more beautiful, more of a gift to the infinite Creator. The path of service that is most often overlooked is the path of service called parenthood. There is no more difficult path of service. It is an extremely sacrificial, daily and devotional path of service.
Those who realize that they are dealing with imperishable spirits, that they are nourishing metaphysical entities in small physical bodies, may aid those entities as they grow by paying attention to those questions that are asked and answering them in all seriousness when the question is a serious one. It is a path of service that shall either separate a mated couple or bring it forcefully together, joyfully together, so that each offers the other consolation as they gaze in constant bewilderment at the chaos which is inherent in the process of rapid growth, the rapid growth of each child. You may best be of service to that entity by being a steady influence. For instance, if there is no formal worship within the family group, no sense of wonder or mystery explored, no time set aside for the beauty and the love and the peace of the infinite One, then the guidance that each intends to give to the young ones who have been given into your care is greatly diminished. Allow and expect your little ones to participate in some ritualistic recognition of the great mystery of the one infinite Creator. Talk about faith and abiding, talk of peace and consolation and forgiveness. Talk of those principles and ideas which are worn so shabbily and made so ragged by consensus reality, which is indeed an extremely skewed and distorted perception of that which truly is.
Do not abandon your little ones in your path of service. If they are entrusted to you, it is up to you to allow them to know the joy and the healing peace of worship of the infinite. Nothing is known, nothing can be known, we offer to you no doctrine, no dogma, but simply posit a theory which we have found so far to be correct in practice and that is that each is a child of the one infinite Creator. Each is a being of love. Each has choices to make about how to use that love. For each is a powerful person, able to give and to receive.
Share with your little ones the awe and the wonder of summer nights, the smell of burning wood, and the sweet smiles on otherwise sour faces when your Christmas tides are opening up. Share in a little piece of each day and spend some ritualistic time in respective silence or in vocal praise, in whatever way the mated pair feels comfortable with the little ones, that as they grow they may know that they have been created, that they have been loved not only by the parents but by the universe itself. Then they are at home in the universe, for the universe loves them. This is the most precious gift that this particular path of service offers. The creation of the biases within the incarnational experience of the small ones, that they are accepted, forgiven and loved unconditionally by that great mystery which is love itself, the great moving force of creation, and indeed the Creator Itself.
We suggest to each that a very strong lesson in the armament of fighting through to togetherness and comfort together is the sense of humor. It is not well to take things too seriously. For situations constantly change and that which yesterday was a mountain, today is the mole hill. Attempt to remain within the present moment.
Then Q’uo said that mates may have different paths within the incarnation and learn different lessons while together, but the greatest and most difficult service that any mated pair could offer was that of raising children. They said that besides answering the many questions of children with love and appreciation that it would be a blessing to each child to be able to participate in some form of worship of the mystery of the Creator that has made them and the entire creation. Q’uo suggested seeing each child as a child of the infinite One and of Love, and to share with them the basic concepts of abiding in faith, consolation, peace, and forgiveness that are so important on their spiritual journey and which are not observed in consensus reality. Q’uo also suggested maintaining a sense of humor with the children and staying focused in the present moment with them. On October 22, 1989, Q’uo gave advice on how be of service to children in the worship of the infinite Creator with them:
And we may say that it is our opinion that the most helpful thing spiritually in the service of raising children, for the children, is either to bring them to any organized religious group for interaction with people of their own age and teachers, or, and this is undoubtedly preferable to many, to create a worship service within the home that is done daily and without comment. Emphasis is not put upon such spiritual discipline; it is picked up by young children as that stress or emphasis which protests too much. Happy are the parents who are settled in peace together and who may sit in meditation or whatever form of spiritual practice is desired, each and every day for a short time. This moves into the child’s subconscious as that which is, and in our opinion this is the truth of that which is—that is, that the Creator is within everything.
Let us make an analogy. Each of you is a aware of how animated cartoons are made. Each slide is drawn slightly differently, that a movement may seem to take place when those slides are run past the eye in rapid sequence. In reality, all of the incarnational experience is those slides of the present moment resting upon one another in one pile of presence. There is only the present moment. You are heaping up the present moment. The path is a dream within a dream. The future? The same. Your link with eternity? Truth, reality and love is the realization that now is a resonant and sanctified moment. We ask you to become intense in your appreciation of this present moment, of the beauty within you and all about you.
We are being told by this instrument that we must be short, so we shall at this time end this most pleasant conversation with you, hoping that we have said some few things that may be of help to each. For truly, two learn better together than one by themselves. For does one have a mirror to gaze into? No. The only true mirror you shall ever have is the mirror of your friends and especially that of your mate, who knows all your secrets and has seen all your imperfections, and who has forgiven them, accepted them, and now simply reflects that which is given. This is the heart of accelerating spiritual grown by using the mated relationship. Follow your paths of service as they diverge. Fling yourselves into your environments with joy. They will be different and you shall learn different lessons and so shall you teach each other. But above all treasure the “us” which is created in the mated bond and which includes, as a third partner, the Creator Itself, the great original Thought, which is love, love impersonal and impassable.
May you share laughter and tears, And may you remember that such relationships and such learning are the work not of a week, nor a year or a decade, but of a lifetime. You may feel you are making no progress. But look back ten years and see the value of shared experience. Above all, refuse to become adversaries. Always attempt to put the self in the place of the other self. And to give that other self every consideration, as their freedom, every ounce of love within your being. Release and surrender your mate to the love of the one infinite Creator. And allow your mate to release you. For each of you is strong, independent and able. Your differences are the dynamics which make your “us”-ness strong. So do not fear disagreement. Simply recognize that there will be honest disagreement and that this is acceptable. May you live in faith, faith that that which is happening is that which is supposed to be happening. Faith that there is love in the moment, if one looks hard enough for it. Faith in the difficulties, that the difficulties is a challenge which shall bear fruit. And faith that recognizes and rejoices in those times which are easy and warm and loving. Remember always to give thanks and praise for such moments. For if you may give sufficient praise and include the Creator in these special moments, then you need not so much suffer disagreements. For you are doing your work of becoming more and more a strong union. While in good humor, the more you may do in a conscious work. While in a good humor, the less need you will have for the challenge and the learning inherent in trauma. Yet trauma there shall be, for as you meditate, as you learn together each shall change, not once but many times. And there is a continuous need for acceptance, forgiveness and for encouragement, one to the other.
We leave you in each other’s hands. May you cherish each other as if each were the Creator, for in truth that is what you are. You are just a very young creator with much to learn, as are we.
Q’uo reviewed their answer to how the mated relationship could be used for spiritual growth by saying that each in a mated relationship is a mirror to the other to reveal the secrets and imperfections that can be worked upon to move further along the spiritual path. They said again that this process made the “us” nature of the mated relationship stronger as it also reveals that the Creator exists as the third party in the mated relationship. Then Q’uo said that the mated relationship was the work of a lifetime of experiencing joys and sorrows, and when there were the disagreements that each in the relationship should have the faith that that which is occurring was meant to happen to allow each to move forward in change many times during the life shared together. On April 15, 1990, Q’uo gave the overview of the value of the mated relationship as a means of progressing spiritually:
The mated relationship, regardless of what its nature be within the legal framework of your culture, is the most powerful possible arrangement within which acceleration of the spiritual path may be done. It is also the most difficult, because intimacy is very difficult among those in a culture which teaches each entity to wear the mask and to behave in such and such a way, that the truth be only half told, or not mentioned, for to do so would cause time-consuming, heart-rending work in consciousness by both.
Thus, each who is a teacher to the other in a mated relationship must, to be the most effective partner, gaze within the self within all circumstances and within all transactions with the cleansing, purifying and healing openness of heart, never allowing difficulties to remain between the two, realizing always that difficulties will continually be between you, for you are each other’s greatest catalyst for learning. Face that squarely. You shall make each other uncomfortable. That is the nature of change. And when you have a teacher, the weight of learning increases, and the discomfort increases likewise. Therefore, see the pain that you give each other with sorrow and with apology, but with the knowledge that it is a necessary portion of the learning of two who together seek most beautifully.
I am Q’uo, and we thank this instrument for its effort at this time with the one known as Jim McCarty. We would at this time leave this instrument in love and light and transfer to the one known as Jim.
This morning I vacuumed the first floor of the house, and then I made an errand run to The Home Depot to buy a larger pot for one of my Mother-in-Law Tongue houseplants. Then I went by the vet’s to pick up some meds for Bosco. When I got back home I repotted the Mother-in-Law Tongue into the new pot and added some peat moss to the soil.
This afternoon Stephanie was dropped off at my house after flying in from Chicago to attend tomorrow’s public channeling meditation. We took a couple of hours to catch up on what has been happening in our lives since it has been quite a while since we have seen each other. It was good to spend some time with her and discover how she is looking at her life through a spiritual lens to see how she now feels a change is coming where she will be more able to share her talents with others in a more meaningful way.
From A Book of Days, channeled by Carla L. Rueckert:
December 8
Thy Will Be Done
I am of the principle of the consciousness of Jesus the Christ. I greet you in the beauty of complete and divine love which is the nature of that consciousness.
Many of you seek to become more and more as you may understand the mind of Jesus the Christ to be. To be pondered in this regard is the helplessness of Jesus nailed to His tree of death and resurrection.
Sometimes the soul who serves the positive and the good finds oneself incapable of producing any fruit to the spirit or any aid to consciousness except the affirmation, “Thy will be done—and that cheerfully.”
In those times when you feel helpless, release that helpless feeling, for your help is near. Sometimes to be helpless is to be of great service. And it is then time, always, to ask for the company and the comfort of the consciousness of the love of Jesus the Christ.
We leave you in love and peace, now and ever. Amen.
I said the prayer at the Gaia Meditation tonight:
We come in the name of love and open our hearts, minds, and souls to send love, light, and healing energy to Mother Earth as she brings forth a new Earth in the fourth density. We ask that the infinite love, light and healing energy of the One Infinite Creator heal the hearts of all souls in pain on Earth tonight. May all souls on Earth feel our love, light, and healing energy in their hearts, their minds, and their souls. Amen.
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