Healing, empathy, and communication

[GentleReckoning]

Food for thought. Bodily distortions exist as a way of letting suppressed emotions/thoughts exist without causing an overload of catalyst.

Miraculous healing is usually the rapid healing of bodily catalyst when the thought/emotions that were responsible for causing this catalyst are no longer present.

I've been studying the practice/application/creation of unconditional love in personal relationships and believe that through the process of accepting/forgiving/loving another human being you can immediately alleviate any amount of karma.

I've found that when I meditate with someone we will mirror each-other very strongly. If my friend is thinking about a broken relationship, I will be thinking about something relationship related. If I communicate what I am feeling and am completely vulnerable to the other person it opens a space where that person can share what they may have never had the courage to share before in their life.

Anyway, I haven't completely discovered what this process does for people, but I'm beginning to think of myself as a portable mushroom trip.

Thoughts?

[Cynthia]

I don't know. Happens to me quite frequently that people tell me stuff and then exclaim "I don't know why I told you that", or "I've never told anyone that", or "I never talk this much."

I assume it's because I'm a naturally calm, steady, and quiet person. Never thought of myself as a portable mushroom trip. But I do think of listening as one of my highest and best StO.

Maybe I didn't understand your point?

[reeay]

Relationships are something we form and nurture. We can build trust (so we can open up), understanding, and acceptance with others. In such relationships, change or transformation becomes possible.

According to Rogers, there were certain conditions for change (how we can affect other self in change-process):
1) Can I be real in the relationship? Genuineness, congruence, & transparency (being real).

2) Do I find myself liking the other person? 'Unconditional positive regard' or caring or acceptance.

3) Understanding inner world of other person; seeing thru her/his eyes; what it's like to be her/him.

He'll explain what happens when conditions are 'met' in the video.
---
Carl Rogers: Conditions of Change


When interacting with others in an empathic, accepting, understanding, and genuine way, others may experience positive emotions. There is research to show that positive emotions have very positive benefits for us.
Barbara Fredrickson: Positive Emotions Opens Our Mind (open awareness, see more, see more possibilities)


So creating this shared space with other self based on understanding & acceptance may lead to unfolding of positive emotions and positive experience - that's a step in the change/transformation process (a step meaning there are more things that happen).

[reeay]

Forgot to include this video about trust. Research by the Gottman Institute (they study relationships) found that trust involves 'attune-ment' Awareness, turning towards, tolerance, understanding, non-defensive responding, empathy. Trust is core to creating that space for honest and loving communication in relationship.

John Gottman: How to build trust


This concludes the psychological understanding of empathy, communication in the change/transformation process.

[Marc]

I have similar situation with others. I am able to open my heart up to others and in return they open up in that safe space and let out hidden parts of themselves. I become a mirror framed in love by which they may see themselves more clearly and work on their distortions and complexes.

I love talking one-on-one with others and I feel it is my greatest act of service that I do on this planet.

[Melissa]

I was thinking about your first statement GR. See, I have suppressed just about every emotion for many years without creating any bodily distortions (as far as I know). What do you mean by saying an 'overload' of catalyst?

[AnthroHeart]

Fortunately I don't experience many body distortions. Just some dizziness from time to time.

[xise]

The veiled subconscious mind is a deep reservoir of suppressed/repressed catalyst. I agree with GR that the body distortions reflect unresolved catalyst, but there is some mechanism at play that I haven't figured out that determines what unresolved catalyst manifests from the subconscious first (either at the mental or body level).

[reeay]

yeah mind/body is intericately connected

In EFT (emotional freedom technique) and other trauma related treatment uses bodily sensations as way to gauge how much person processed those unprocessed memories trapped within the unconscious mind. Person may experience more positive emotions and corresponding thoughts, but would have pains somewhere in the body... which means that there's more work to do. Body-work healing and forms of acupuncture also follow this same premise.

[Unbound]

Energy exchange can occur between individuals in ways that are not necessarily easy to make occur just by oneself. Not only are we drawn to those individuals who reflect and mirror ourselves and our distortions, I think one might also always find a certain degree of similarity.

What I view this as is the self healing through other self. This is done as a two way, in which we are both a self and an other self. We then share in eachother's selfness and through that are able to make exchanges which are not the same as self to self.

Most important to this is the amplification process which happens whereby major distortions have energy added through empathic and sympathetic resonance in the same way two strings on a guitar will sing to one note that is in the air, being tuned to the same note, yet both create a resonance which resonate together.

I think that the fact is that pain or the distortion of pain is not actually something anyone in themselves possesses but it is something which occurs as an emergent aspect of separation. In the self, this may be a physical separation of cells (selves) such as with an injury, or a mental, emotional or spiritual separation. Exoterically with other people this can also be seen in the same light. We are separate from others when there is no connection, no flow. This is like two ponds with still water and no river or stream to run between them to stir their waters, and so there can be stagnance.

An energy exchange begins and occurs when a charge is created whether this be physical, emotional, mental or spiritual. In many cases of healing the charge is already present and instead it is the sudden appearance of a complimenting "wire" or avenue of discharge. That is what I view the idea of "facilitating healing" in that the individual assisting with the healing allows themselves to act as a path of least resistence as well a reflector of distortion. This happens naturally with two way exchanges quite commonly in daily conversation and when we talk with our friends, family and others and work through our own, and their, issues.

Quite a wonderful thing!

---

Eckhart Tolle's pain body I believe is the emergent body created from separation.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/eckhart-to...53114.html

[GentleReckoning]

I don't know. Happens to me quite frequently that people tell me stuff and then exclaim "I don't know why I told you that", or "I've never told anyone that", or "I never talk this much."

I assume it's because I'm a naturally calm, steady, and quiet person. Never thought of myself as a portable mushroom trip. But I do think of listening as one of my highest and best StO.

Maybe I didn't understand your point?

That when two people connect, that they their moods will track. Now, this may happen 'energetically', or it may just be body language, tone or something else.

So, if person A is thinking thoughts of seperation, person B will 'track' with them and resonate at thoughts of similar distortion. You are simply actively listening which is where you experience with them what they are talking about. If you stopped talking, and their thoughts went to a happier place, you might find that your train of thought suddenly moves to a happier place as well.

It gets wild when both people are actively searching for the things that they are afraid of sharing with the other person. Then you can RAPIDLY clear through many thoughts/beliefs/distortions that you 'think' separate you from others, but in reality everybody has similar beliefs.

This moves into the Buddhist idea of attachment as we are naturally attached to people that we like and will often not say something we feel out of a fear of how they will react. This is simply the effect of not being able to feel unconditional love at all times. We get snippets of this with other selves and will suppress our expression out of fear that the other self will abandon us and leave us miserable and by ourselves.

In reality, what we are doing is halting the growth of the relationship. At the point where you are afraid to express yourself is the depth at which the relationship will simply coast along. If you constantly are honest with the other person and are simply explaining your feelings and not judging them or attacking them you can continue growing a deeper and deeper relationship. AKA saying 'When you do this I feel this way' instead of 'this thing that you do is mean or dumb'. Notice that one way of expressing that is judgement, and the other is expression.

---

I was thinking about your first statement GR. See, I have suppressed just about every emotion for many years without creating any bodily distortions (as far as I know). What do you mean by saying an 'overload' of catalyst?

There is always expression. It is likely that you haven't held onto them long enough to allow them to filter through to your body. More likely is simply that there are people in your life that you can be totally honest with as this is all that you really need. If you have one person that you feel that you can shine the core of who you are then you'll be fine.

Otherwise artistic expression is one of the greatest therapies as well. Basically think of all that you do through which you express anything.

The basic rule of reality is that everyone is an open book. The veil simply obfuscates people's difficulties to allow them to experience deeper levels of separation as they won't immediately realize their core issues. This way the core issue sits and simply creates more and more difficulties in the person's life. Eventually they simply wonder why x or y is so much different than it was in the past.

---

The veiled subconscious mind is a deep reservoir of suppressed/repressed catalyst. I agree with GR that the body distortions reflect unresolved catalyst, but there is some mechanism at play that I haven't figured out that determines what unresolved catalyst manifests from the subconscious first (either at the mental or body level).

The more base negative emotions are those that I feel make it through to the body.

Shame, fear, guilt, are some. Then you have the broader ones like anger or anxiety. Some of these will pull in other similar emotions and be 'energized' by them. These are so difficult to nail down because they can usually not be subjectively discovered except through deep thought/meditation. Objectively it may be obvious, but again unless we are willing to connect to another person and share at that level of emotion the other person won't have the space 'energetically' to accept that their dominant negative emotions are affecting their body.

I have the most experience with anxiety as one of my family members has symptoms of parkinsons and another one is beginning to develop symptoms. It is my feeling that both of these people (from talking to them a lot) exist at the level of small talk. They don't delve below the surface of life and simply exist at the level of reality where you are either happy or sad.

[Melissa]

Have yet to meet someone with whom I can be completely honest. However, the interactions with the people I encounter have become much more enjoyable, as I feel they just want to talk to someone who listens. It used to feel like a burden when someone opened up during a conversation because I thought they were expecting all kinds of advice, but now I feel honored when someone feels comfortable enough to share their thoughts/feelings. And I've found that if they truly seek advice they'll ask for it. My new neighbor is a great guy with marital problems, we talk about it quite a bit. For me it very healing to hear how he strives to keep in touch with his daughters without 'using' them as a 'tool' to get back at his wife. As it is something I've experienced during the divorce of my parents. I don't think I've been able to interpret conversations as such before, but I quite like it.

[xise]

Well, oh boy, the week before the full moon certainly brings out things repressed...at least for me.

[reeay]

There is something special about just sitting with someone in full presence, just silent, listening. No agendas, no effort in changing or doing somehing, no expectations, no mental chatter, no need to explain/analyze. Just being present. You get a lot done by creating space for other self to do what other self needs to do, whether it be vent or process or whatnot. And when this can be done for self, that's awesome. Actually, it would begin with being able to be present w/ self...

[zenmaster]

There is something special about just sitting with someone in full presence, just silent, listening. No agendas, no effort in changing or doing somehing, no expectations, no mental chatter, no need to explain/analyze. Just being present. You get a lot done by creating space for other self to do what other self needs to do, whether it be vent or process or whatnot. And when this can be done for self, that's awesome. Actually, it would begin with being able to be present w/ self...

Well there is the person that is me and the person that you think is me.

[reeay]

Then I am what I think you think I think I am lol

[Cynthia]

There is something special about just sitting with someone in full presence, just silent, listening. No agendas, no effort in changing or doing somehing, no expectations, no mental chatter, no need to explain/analyze. Just being present. You get a lot done by creating space for other self to do what other self needs to do, whether it be vent or process or whatnot. And when this can be done for self, that's awesome. Actually, it would begin with being able to be present w/ self...

Exactly! That's what I was trying to say above that rie says so much better. I believe this is why people tell me 'stuff'.

Most important to this is the amplification process which happens whereby major distortions have energy added through empathic and sympathetic resonance in the same way two strings on a guitar will sing to one note that is in the air, being tuned to the same note, yet both create a resonance which resonate together.

I like this analogy. With one of my intimate (into me you see) friends I can feel this resonance at times. Being 'with' him, either physically or just deeply connected conversation across thousands of miles, feels like a trickle charge battery.