Finding the love in a situation vs a feeling of indifference

[Jeremy]

One of the issues that I have been working on is making sure that indifference doesn't set in. This is ever so apparent at work when someone is sick, dying, or even taken to the extreme like child abuse. When everyone hears about a child that has been beaten or sexually abused, tensions immediately rise and anger fills the air. I, on the other hand, remain calm and try not to allow such thoughts to enter my mind. I will ask where the love is in such a tragic situation only to lead to a dead end thus shutting out all emotion hence the indifference mentality.

Other situations such as my grandfathers funeral where I simply stood wondering why so many people were so upset when I was happy and actually a bit excited for him had me quite confused. I knew that it was a sad moment since he was gone but I guess having the faith to know where he was going made it a great moment for him hence I actually smiled throughout the service which was a tremendously odd feeling.

That got me thinking about other situations in which I sometimes wonder if I'm seeing the love in the situation or simply using it as a way of shutting all emotion out. I mean, I don't feel as if I'm holding anything in as I definitely express my emotions in other situations but I have found that over time, I have become so calm over situations that all other selves react so emphatically to, I often wonder if I'm somehow detached rather than simply looking at it in another light as those on a different path.

[Plenum]

heya Mr Jeremy.

great question, and one that comes up often.

I think the issue is that we have our own internal barometer of feelings, sympathies, love, reactions, acceptances, and that because of the nature of social expectations and 'fitting in', we have an unconscious way of comparing our reactions to what a hypothetical 'normal' and 'well-adjusted' individual might feel or respond given certain situations. Esp in more charged situations, like the funeral or child abuse cases that you mentioned.

I think one can develop an internal trust in oneself and one's reactions ('self authenticity'). Not that this self authenticity is never wrong, but there is less of a need to feel like we are not 'normal'.

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I think the essence of calmness is the ability to continue accepting the other-self as Creator, despite the most outrageous, destructive, violent, and cruel acts.

when anger and rage enter the picture, there is an almost instinctive wish to destroy, bash, punish, and even kill the person who committed the 'crimes'. I think we can both agree that such an attitude is not really conducive to the love/acceptance/forgiveness vibration

everything is karmic, and the universe has internal balancing mechanisms at play. It is an act of faith to accept that such a mechanism is operant, at all levels, but if one can see this in operation on a micro-scale in own's own life and personal sphere, then that gives a good basis to make the leap to this point of view.

indifference is fairly easy to spot ... it is a type of callousness which opens the doorway to cruelty. It is a lack of caring for the feelings of others, rather than an absence of any feelings in the self.

[ScottK]

What you are really asking is: "Why am I not like everyone else? And how do I cope with it?"

Your thoughts and beliefs are radically different than most of the rest of society.

The easy path is to believe what others believe and go along with what they do and think. Apparently, the creation had a different plan for you. It takes courage to be on your path - it's the path to liberation but also potentially a path to aloneness of thought (at least for a time).

Comfort in a herd is something that I think humans are wired towards, just like animals are. There is safety in the herd, and I find myself pulled towards the beliefs of the herd often, and then I have to snap myself out of it. When those moments come, I almost invariably take a look at the belief I have that's different than the crowd and breakdown the "why" of why I have that belief. Then I realize that it's right for me to be outside of the crowd because I have confidence that my belief is correct for me.

So, the question is, what state of authenticity do you want to have in your life. Does the pain of that shallow feeling of detachment from the crowd overshadow your desire to be completely authentic in who you are?

I think we both know the answer to that question..

[Marc]

I feel very like you, jeremy. I have come to the realization that how I feel (or don't) is totally ok. Much of our cultural mindset is based on feelings of loss, but we no in truth there is no such thing. Now to hold that understanding authentically while going through something most would consider devastating and not feel loss, is a good thing. Now if I don't truly know to my core that there is no loss, but rather hold onto that idea in spite of my feelings of loss, that's where the blue-ray blockages come into play. There's a different between knowing about a truth and really knowing it.

If you are worried you may be hiding something, look into material that comes from your unconscious- such as dreams, art, and fantasies- and that shoud be a pretty good indicator on whether there are catalysts not fully integrated.

[reeay]

Finding 'love' in a situation: In operational terms I call it genuine regard, honesty, and being able to understand the situation for both self and other self. With each catalyst accepted I think I can expand what it means to find love in a situation & exand the tools in my tool bag to work with catalyst of the moment or in the future.

Indifference: When you notice you are not experiencing emotions that much, it could mean many things. The more balanced someone is, the more they have acceptance so there is less emotional charge.

42.9 Questioner: How can a person know when he is unswayed by an emotionally charged situation or if he is repressing the flow of emotions, or if he is in balance and truly unswayed?

Ra: I am Ra. We have spoken to this point. Therefore, we shall briefly iterate that to the balanced entity no situation has an emotional charge but is simply a situation like any other in which the entity may or may not observe an opportunity to be of service. The closer an entity comes to this attitude the closer an entity is to balance. You may note that it is not our recommendation that reactions to catalyst be repressed or suppressed unless such reactions would be a stumbling block not consonant with the Law of One to an other-self. It is far, far better to allow the experience to express itself in order that the entity may then make fuller use of this catalyst.

Another possibility is that indifference may be like an emotional cut-off, which happens when someone is emotionally overload and now has to cut emotions off as part of self-preservation or whatnot. It could be a form of 'overcoming' via repression. There are ways to divert emotional charge, e.g., laughing, using expressions that don't seem to fit the situation, etc., etc.,. Therefore it's different from how balanced person experiences less emotional charge.

Boundaries offer a healthy distance to something that is emotionally charged. You have the opportunity or choice to step back, breath, reflect, and set or adjust course as appropriate to situation.

I too, experience the joy that they are able to move on and embark on the next phase of journey (and cry too). Perhaps your beliefs around the after-life may effect the way you handle the issue. Rituals around death is like an opportunity for people to have some sort of closure around the death, so whatever the experience, it's an opportunity to process their emotions.

[AnthroHeart]

I don't get angry or feel upset when I hear of child abuse. Perhaps I'm just cold inside. I get upset when a dog is hurt, especially a german shepherd. I resonate more with dogs than I do children. I'm sort of afraid to be around kids. I don't do well with them. When my grandmas died, I wasn't sad. I felt quite neutral, if not a bit envious of them.

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I too, experience the joy that they are able to move on and embark on the next phase of journey (and cry too). Perhaps your beliefs around the after-life may effect the way you handle the issue. Rituals around death is like an opportunity for people to have some sort of closure around the death, so whatever the experience, it's an opportunity to process their emotions.

Thoughts of death never made me sad nor afraid. I used to obsess about death, and sometimes still do.