A call for help.

[Adonai One]

I am just putting this out in the public sphere to make sure I am noticed by those willing to help, entities in the inner planes and those of the confederation.

I am not sure if I can be heard mentally by anything other than what aggresses against me constantly. Every night I am surrounded by shadows with a constant head pain. I am told pure manipulative lies when I try to receive guidance. When I try to heal myself spiritually in meditation my body goes absolutely cold and I can feel pain in my stomach.

I assure you I am mentally sound. I call out to any assistance available. All of creation shall hear the call of this post.

I am tired of going through this.

---

So it seems these beings can suppress my calls physically. I noticed an immediate relief posting this here. Very good. Thanks!

[Jade]

Have you been to a doctor yet? I don't mean a psychologist but a neurologist maybe, to get an MRI or maybe blood work done. Sometimes *they* can take previous weaknesses/distortions and make them worse, as with Carla and her kidneys. I'm sure everything is fine, I'm just trying to explore every avenue that could be of assistance and knowledge to find you some relief.

You know you have all my love and I eagerly anticipate when you can resolve these catalysts. Trust that you are heard and that whatever is putting pressure on you cannot snuff you out.

[Raz]

So it seems these beings can suppress my calls physically. I noticed an immediate relief posting this here. Very good. Thanks!

Just wanted to remind you that even if the phase you are in right now feels rough... all you experiance here is perfectly, ridiculously SAFE

[Melissa]

Much love to you I've been experiencing something similar and it sucks. But it'll pass, I'm sure

[Patrick]

...what aggresses against me constantly. Every night I am surrounded by shadows with a constant head pain. I am told pure manipulative lies when I try to receive guidance. When I try to heal myself spiritually in meditation my body goes absolutely cold and I can feel pain in my stomach...

I went through this 2 years ago.

Remember that everything is a part of YOU, including what you describe here. I would suggest that you stop fighting against it and instead accept it and give of your energy freely. Love the attackers because they are just a part of you trying to become accepted. They are a part of you that will ultimately bring strength to your whole self.

Remember that your energy is infinite, so you can never truly lack any. You will feel cold at first, but the more you let this truth comes to you, the less long the cold will be felt each night.

Warmth will take less time to come back once you realize that "they" (your other-selves) can feed on your light while you can still have infinite light available to your self.

Much love and light to you brother.

[Fang]

I am just putting this out in the public sphere to make sure I am noticed by those willing to help, entities in the inner planes and those of the confederation.

hmm

I am not sure if I can be heard mentally by anything other than what aggresses against me constantly. Every night I am surrounded by shadows with a constant head pain. I am told pure manipulative lies when I try to receive guidance. When I try to heal myself spiritually in meditation my body goes absolutely cold and I can feel pain in my stomach.

Who is your "guidance"?
Have you made any drastic changes to your lifestyle since becoming more "spiritual"?

It's very interesting you say this

I assure you I am mentally sound

And follow that with this:

All of creation shall hear the call of this post.

Also, I'm not sure where people got the idea but meditation is not always helpful if existing pathological thought tendencies are not dealt with, kinda lets them fester if anything. This sounds like classic notion related overcharge to me, first of all you must realize that these are your notions, take responsibility for them and learn a life lesson about yourself.

It's not a matter of simply "accepting" darkness within (as in hollowly saying "I accept all things"), you must respect, understand and love it (yourself) if you want these shadows to disappear.

Now when I say love the darkness I don't mean saying "I accept whatever these evil beings want to do to me as perfection", no no not at all. You must own it to restitch the self back together seamlessly.

These shadows cannot hurt you, they exist as the byproduct of your light. A visual manifestation/hallucination indicates a severe unconscious reaction to something unintegrated in your pool of experience. This is not cosmic advice, these actions are steps toward consolidating the self so you can take a steady step forward, classic psychic equilibrium business.

A trip to the doc may provide you with some help that we cannot provide.
You may even find that some physical focus might be just what you need.


[In the event if this being an unlikely worst case scenario]
Now, if this continues you may have deal with things you cannot be prepared for, in such events I can offer no advice other than in reflection it will be beneficial to be honest with yourself, brutally honest.
Some psyches simply must be split open for the shaman self to fall into, I hope this is not the case.

Goodluck

[Fastidious Emanations]

you are in Montreal right?
oh by the way, from Ra; "Are you not all things?"
how exciting that you have attracted such attention
I feel that I've been enabling a negative thought form to persist in my energy field
He fuels ideas of unworthiness, betrayal, and mistrust.
The funny thing is though, it is all me, I am all that ever was or will be, just that we decided to make 3D a battleground for thought, the physical manifestation of layers of opposing ideas that reach toward infinity, like the asymptote.
Remember that the amassed light of our calling/seeking is squared by each others efforts (or lack there of- effort in letting go and enjoying a certain intensity of white light), this implies an exponential function which reaches upward to infinity..
So while beginning a working in service to others /service to All that Is, the presence intensified to a deafening ringing and heavy weight/shadow over the left (negatively polarized) side of this physical body.
All I could muster was 'help, help, help!' as the pillar of white light flushes through me and I can clearly see that I am being restrained from accepting it.
And all I heard in reply is the faint echo of a realisation that I am never not being helped, and sort of a nudge towards the idea that 'I' can get through this 'on my own' by accepting Everything.

Which means both accepting the being/thought, and accepting the entity which this being/thought dissuades me from enjoining with in physical due to clinging to judgements about past 'wrongdoings', etc. I have forgiven him and yet still hate him even though I know we could be working together fastidiously. This is having a toll on this vehicle, as it does intensify pre-existing conditions. I actually verily love this person but really don't like him. These are thoughts. I do not own them.

I offer all that I am for your aid my friend. Peace be with you.

[Turtle]

It is not necessary to look outside of yourself for the aid you wish to receive, you may also go within and simply reconnect with the infinite source of love and light that you are always connected to, and feel it flow through your body and your mind, to both sooth you and heal you. The more you do that, the more you will find such inconveniences that you speak of, simply go away.

[GentleReckoning]

I am just putting this out in the public sphere to make sure I am noticed by those willing to help, entities in the inner planes and those of the confederation.

I am not sure if I can be heard mentally by anything other than what aggresses against me constantly. Every night I am surrounded by shadows with a constant head pain. I am told pure manipulative lies when I try to receive guidance. When I try to heal myself spiritually in meditation my body goes absolutely cold and I can feel pain in my stomach.

I assure you I am mentally sound. I call out to any assistance available. All of creation shall hear the call of this post.

I am tired of going through this.

---

So it seems these beings can suppress my calls physically. I noticed an immediate relief posting this here. Very good. Thanks!

Went through a similar thing for 8 or 9 months. They are offering you service because you request service. Simply accept that you have no way of tuning yourself to positive guidance and love the service that you receive. It's that simple and that hard.

You will be frustrated, angry, and you will want to fight. Simply force your body to relax when this happens. You'll notice it gets quite tense. Allow the body to lead the mind, since they are not physically attacking your body (ideally!). As the body relaxes it is easy for the mind to follow.

If you can bring yourself to accept every negative possible outcome, that will form the fulcrum from which you can be free from any kind of negative attack. I couldn't get past being at the bottom of a 4d- pecking order, but I don't think it's something to get worked up about.

You're completely sound; you've simply opened up an un-tuned channel and whenever you have a feeling of guilt/shame/pretty much any negative emotion it has the potential to flip you to tuning into negative stuff. Also if you let them massage your ego you'll find them quickly leading you down in tighter and tighter circles.

There are spiritual masters, guides, angels, walk-ins, sparks from beyond the octave and many more waiting for you to walk outside your door and begin the process of including them in your beautiful experience. They are the human beings you see every day.

My experience was a result of a tulpa being used to create an un-tuned channel, but the experiences you describe are almost exactly the same. (I suspect yours "symptoms" are likely more intense)

Take what you want, and drop the rest. Much love brother.

[native]

Much love to you.

[Spaced]

I wish you peace brother.

[Spaced]

double post

[reeay]

67.11 'In the case of those with whom you, as entities and as a group, are not in resonance, you wish them love, light, peace, joy, and bid them well.'

Side note: somatic (physical) symptoms are highly connected to emotional/psychological issues. These symptoms are natural signposts that alert us that something within needs to be attended to. Same thing w/ panic attacks and whatnot - they could be a consequence of psychological issues that is awaiting our attention. Usually the root of issue is older stuff that hasn't been processed sufficiently. Bc it lays unprocessed it will work its way up to the surface by manifesting as some sort of symptoms.

[Fastidious Emanations]

yes thank you there is no us and them, there is only Us.

[Patrick]

67.11 'In the case of those with whom you, as entities and as a group, are not in resonance, you wish them love, light, peace, joy, and bid them well.'

That's my favorite part of LOO. Can you tell ?

[Patrick]

Having issues with double posts too.

[BrownEye]

I get frequent warnings of "those that wish to influence you" during QHHT sessions. At one point I asked to be more specific, and it was described in a way similar to what Ra stated. They offer a service, in which case even though I am surrounded in a way, they cannot step in and cause an effect until I specifically allow it or request it.

This means that my own urges, thoughts, emotions, beliefs, need to create the doorway for them to approach me.

I found it best to learn shielding, then develop awareness of how I think, in order to keep my shielding construct pure.

The other thing is that I get a ton of protection from those that help me as a healer. If I was to focus solely on self empowerment and those things to keep focus on my self I doubt I would have the same kind of aid.

[Bat]

The path is a mystery, the love infinite and the wisdom endless. Carry on my wayward son.

[Isaac]

I guess your soul's plan is to get this experience out of the way early on in life.

You aughta take pleasureful pride in how you've gone full man-mode temporarily accepting negative attacks for the experience of it and probably also because your higher self identified that you could handle it and as a result manage to serve others better than if you had otherwise peacefully gone about your work; perhaps you're destined to become a sentinel of greenhorn channelers of Ra hereafter; so swank, much impression.


I'm no fancy reiki master but I can offer my magically determinative confidence that you'll suffer only as much as you need to, then you'll put an end to it whenever you want once and for all.

Sucks for now though; maybe you should smoke weed?

[Horuseus]

I have not been much inclined to respond to these threads, even though I am 'nudged' to do so. The primary reason being that you are on your path and are progressing as expected, even though it may not outwardly appear to be so on the surface level representation, or rather conditioned expectations, your exterior Ego/conscious mind relates to. This is especially apparent in following the themes your various threads have taken, which serve as a useful guidepost in that it may be used as a Journal for one to look back on periodically. There have been 'ebbs and flows' whereby you seem to relate to metaphysical principles from the Outer Egoic aspect of yourself, before reaching a critical threshold in divulging/exploring that belief which eventually forces you to shun that concept, viewing it from an alternate perspective. This 'shunning' seems to be as though you are going back to Step 1, or doing a 'reset' each time, however this process you are going through is simply dissolving of old programs and conditioned notions under the banner of seeking. In essence one must move backwards to move forwards, or unlearning what has been learnt, to allow 'space' for new learnings to occur. Existing distortions and beliefs, as well as the comparing of your own 'progress' to others 'abilities' on the forums (Something I am certain you are relating to as a thought process) however are hindering you.

The 'hindrance' is merely one of brutal honesty and acceptance of the unique individualised Self as you are, which then serves as a foundation for 'proper' work. You are indeed getting there, and that nagging you feel within is asking you to address those beliefs head on. I mentioned this in a previous thread of the process seeking individuals take in the 'beginning', whereby the Ego in self preservation mode tends to act under the guise of assisting you in various metaphysical principles which purport a 'Godlike' and 'Transcendental' state. This can take the form of wanting 'psychic abilities', trying to remember 'past lives', or 'seeing spirit', in an attempt to perhaps validate your current belief system and provide 'proof' that you are on your right track. The exterior Ego does this for it fears annihilation if focus is made on aspects of the Self which do not necessarily rely on the limited logical and rational faculties of the conscious mind. In other words you may experience doubt, which is simply an indicator that you are accessing portions of the Self outside of the exterior Ego, which upon realising this throws you thoughts of doubt and insecurity in order to have you regress back into your common mode of thinking.

I see many individuals in the 'New Age' community however stuck in a loop as a result of this circular thought process. One fears looking within and making conscious that which has repressed and made unconscious, and so entertain themselves in addressing side thoughts as a distraction. This commonly takes the surface appearance of building up an intellectual knowledge base (Through books, channellings and teachers) or attempting to learn 'powers' such as Astral Projection and Channelling, which are then used as validation. You will find such Validation is then sought outside of the Self, rather than within, and this condition is exacerbated by whole groups of such individuals supporting that collective illusion or bubble reality. For the previously religious to the 'Indigo'/'Crystal' Child' (As is the common meme in such communities) It is in effect swapping one program (Religion) for another program (New Age). There is no real progress made as a result, simply discussion and banter of a specific type because it is the flavour of the month or what's 'in' currently as a trend. It is pretty much a perpetual Ego wank and yet there is always that inner intuition from the Self which asks one to go and seek within rather than outside. Awareness and conscious recognition of this can have tremendous impact.

Somewhat deviated, but again I am certain this is something you relate to given your previous postings, and I will say it is all a perfectly natural part of progression; I've been through the same, as has many if not all on this forum in certain shades, going through the various archetypes of transformation which are revisited as one continues refinement. Heck, it may surprise folk here to know that I have pretty much only read a 1/4th or so of the Ra Material, even though it might appear otherwise. It isn't something I have been particularly inclined to do at present, as my own framework of reality lends itself from a wide array of sources including my own, each providing a part towards a stable coherent picture which I consciously choose to leave flexible for new learnings to be integrated as and when appropriate. And yet, there is also dogmatic insistence on the integrity of certain material by some individuals at the expense of others in a cult like fashion which insists on one closed box, somewhat similar to Religion. It all serves a purpose however.

Now Brother, addressing the thread at hand (took me long enough). I will simply advise you to stop wallowing in your own self pity, pick yourself up, be brutally honest with yourself, and take back what has always been rightfully yours. Instead of calling upon every tom dick or harry out there in the Cosmos, get in contact with the God core part of your inner Self (Or Higher Self/Oversoul/True Energetic Aspect etc) which has always been with you, and is what you are a part of. You have a personal VIP access to your own 'God' part of your Self, and a Guidance System consisting of various entities who you have chosen to work with you in this incarnation simply waiting for your conscious recognition of their presence and aid, so use it. You trusted them with your expanded awareness prior to this mode of existence to Guide you as necessary afterall. In any such work when linking with your Guidance System ask your Personal Guide or Higher Self (Depending on who you are working wirh) to protect the 7th Chakra channel, which will give them permission to ensure no other entities are coming through. You always have instant access to aid, simply allow yourself to believe that you do.

Also, relax and enjoy life; don't be so serious. 'Metaphysical studies' (Whatever that means) isn't the be all and end all of anything. 'Human Life' is just as important as all too often many bury their heads in the sand (Or rather high up in the clouds) as a form of escapism from reality. Again brutal honesty and probing your thoughts processes will highlight the genesis of your own motivating mechanisms. The sensations that you experience in the Head and Stomach are not necessarily negative either. An alternate perspective I can provide are the cranial pressures and 'pain' I have felt within my Crown Chakra in the past 6 months, which was a result of acclimatisation to a Higher Spectrum of Frequency. In essence I was accessing 'more' as a result of my workings, and so was rather a positive sign of my own progression. The sensations I felt in the 'stomach' was actually a pulsing in my Solar Plexus that indicated certain emotional issues related Self Identity and power was finally being addressed, and while I initially considered both of these sensations to be 'negative', it was more so quite the opposite. I would suggest a Reading with an experienced trusted individual to act as a medium for communication and diagnostics - nothing wrong with that at all, and can be highly beneficial and accelerate your progress as a result (It has for me and others here, PM me for some contacts if interested).

The 'negative' is also but a perception. As others in this thread have stated, they are also brothers in spirit who through Love have offered the difficult service of providing a reflection to an aspect of yourself which lacks Love. It is something to be thankful for and may be released once the catalyst is acknowledged and integrated. All too often the 'STS' seem to get a flak around here for being some evil bogeyman - The 'us' vs 'them' mindset is actually quite hilarious when viewed from an alternate perspective.

"She was lost in self-pity and self-condemnation. These brought about the weakened body state.

Ruburt advised Andrea to accept the validity of such feelings as feelings - not to inhibit them, but to follow their flow with the understanding that they are feelings about reality. As themselves they are real. They express emotional reactions to beliefs. The next time Andrea feels inadequate, for example, she is to actively experience that feeling, realizing that even though she feels inferior this does not mean that she is inferior. She is to say, "I feel inferior," and at the same time to understand that the feeling is not a statement of fact but of emotion. A different kind of validity is involved.

Experiencing your emotions as such is not the same as accepting them as statements of fact about your own existence. Andrea is then supposed to ask, "Why do I feel so inferior?" If you deny the validity of the emotion itself and pretend it away, then you will never be led to question the beliefs behind it.

At this point Andrea believes that her life must be difficult.

... her beliefs put her in a state of crisis. Change them and no crisis exists. The body would then cease reacting to such stress, and almost immediately the exterior situation itself would be altered.

At the same time all beliefs are communicated to others, not only through quite unconscious bodily mechanisms, but telepathically. You will always try to correlate your ideas with exterior experience. All of the abilities of the inner self will be brought to bear to materialize the image of your beliefs, regardless of what they ought to be. The "proper" emotions will be generated, bringing about those body states that exist in your conscious mind."

"You cannot escape your own attitudes, for they will form the nature of what you see. Quite literally you see what you want to see; and you see your own thoughts and emotional attitudes materialized in physical form. If changes are to occur, they must be mental and psychic changes. These will be reflected in your environment. Negative, distrustful, fearful, or degrading attitudes toward anyone work against the self." - Seth

"Because your imagination follows your beliefs you can find yourself in a vicious circle in which you constantly paint pictures in your mind that reinforce "negative" aspects in your life. The imaginative events generate appropriate emotions, which automatically bring about hormonal changes in your body or affect your behavior with others, or cause you to interpret events always in the light of your beliefs. And so daily experience will seem to justify what you believe more and more. The only way out is to become aware of your beliefs, aware of your own conscious thought, and to change your beliefs so that you bring them more in line with the kind of reality you want to experience. Imagination and emotion will then automatically come into play to reinforce the new beliefs." - Seth

Edit: -

[Unbound]

It appears there is a blockage in your solar plexus. When you experience such stomach pain can you see any images which might describe or put a visual to the pain?

[Spaced]

Nice post Horuseus, I can definitely relate to a lot of what you have written

It reminds me also of this:

80.10 Questioner: Now, the fifteenth archetype, which is the Matrix of the Spirit, has been called the Devil. Can you tell me why that is so?

Ra: I am Ra. We do not wish to be facile in such a central query, but we may note that the nature of the spirit is so infinitely subtle that the fructifying influence of light upon the great darkness of the spirit is very often not as apparent as the darkness itself. The progress chosen by many adepts becomes a confused path as each adept attempts to use the Catalyst of the Spirit. Few there are which are successful in grasping the light of the sun. By far, the majority of adepts remain groping in the moonlight and, as we have said, this light can deceive as well as uncover hidden mystery. Therefore, the melody, shall we say, of this matrix often seems to be of a negative and evil, as you would call it, nature.

[Adonai One]

It appears there is a blockage in your solar plexus. When you experience such stomach pain can you see any images which might describe or put a visual to the pain?

This is due to the fear associated with me getting right-ear ringing tied with finding high probabilities of me encountering serious physical danger in my near future.

I am bothered by the very certain calls of neurological and psychological problems in this thread. I understand such judgemental certainty especially with the delusion that runs rampant in spiritual circles.

I am certain I am being targeted for reasons other than minor spiritual issues, although an improvement of love will help this situation as many have suggested.

Thank you all for your support. All of you simply reading this thread have alerted many in our inner planes to my situation that was otherwise being censored. In another time period without this technology, I would not be as fortunate.

[reeay]

It's not a judgment. When something is neurological or psychological issue it isn't necessarily a mental disorder but something medical issues or just lower ray blockages - we all have them… no one mentioned delusions here (you mentioned various symptoms that point to physical and psychological issues, we are merely reflecting that I'm sure). Be well!

[Fang]

Heck, it may surprise folk here to know that I have pretty much only read a 1/4th or so of the Ra Material, even though it might appear otherwise.

It doesn't surprise me at all, and no it doesn't appear otherwise, lol

Like Rie said Adonai, it's not judgement. The thing is, these conclusions you reach, are being reached in your mind, so when noticeable inconsistencies in worldview are expressed it can be an idea to examine the contents and connections of one's mind. This is not necessarily the case with you, but it may be and as we are here to help (I assume?) it's advice of a psychological nature that I for one would offer (it's my field of expertise).

[Adonai One]

There comes a point in metaphysical awareness that findings become ludicrous and nominally insane.

Perhaps I am delusional but my findings are all too in sync, consistent and stable.

Thank you.

---

I have over 3 unconnected sources with no prior info on my life find that I am surrounded by persistent, negative entities that wish to use me. I`ve seen beings of an off-world nature, in plain sight in my home. I have constant pains in the indigo and violet centers precisely. I am ever certain of what is going on here. I will not squander information that is plainly obvious. I will not delude myself into accepting I am insane based on pure blind faith in medical authority.

[Fang]

There comes a point in metaphysical awareness that findings become ludicrous and nominally insane.

Perhaps I am delusional but my findings are all too in sync, consistent and stable.

There's that "I'm either right or delusional" thing again, stop it, pls.
Look, I can see where such a belief would come from but these findings would only appear ludicrous if they weren't evaluated at the length that is needed. Also, would you mind saying what you're findings have been?
I don't wish to offend, but if they are what you have been posting on this site I'm sorry but a great deal of that is just wrong.

I have over 3 unconnected sources with no prior info on my life find that I am surrounded by persistent, negative entities that wish to use me. I`ve seen beings of an off-world nature, in plain sight in my home. I have constant pains in the indigo and violet centers precisely. I am ever certain of what is going on here. I will not squander information that is plainly obvious. I will not delude myself into accepting I am insane based on pure blind faith in medical authority.

No one here, including me is saying you are insane, it's not such an absolute thing, there are degrees of instability which you display early signs of, which is why I'm concerned.
This may surprise you but that's not actually that big a deal, I was expecting something else to be honest.
If these sources have no prior info on your life would be willing to entertain the notion that maybe they're wrong? Also, I assume when you say negative beings, you mean 4th+ density? Do you like thinking that you are so important that interdimensional beings would manipulate you to make use of your incredible potential for their own, nefarious purposes? Because I know a lot of people that do, and somehow arrive at the conclusion that that is the actual case sooner or later, then they grow up.

Now, these beings of an "off world" nature, were they ephemeral, or very "sci fi" looking? You see in certain states whatever is being offered to mind is being filtered through extreme unconscious bias to fit archetypal reflections. There's a reason a christian would have a vision of christ and an american would have a vision of an alien. This is a thing we share just so you know.
Also, was there any interaction with these beings?

So, pain in your head, like a headache? You sound like a stressed guy.

[native]

Some of this may be related to harmony as a group.

[Adonai One]

Fang, I have nothing to prove. My fiancee would have a more objective view on my mental health anyways. Her personal experiences with my troubles have led her to highly consider my perspective. It has come to the point to where we both are undeniably being targetted by something.

If I am delusional, then so is she. She is grounded online but she has experienced empirical evidence of persistent paranormal phenomenon.

[Jade]

There comes a point in metaphysical awareness that findings become ludicrous and nominally insane.

Perhaps I am delusional but my findings are all too in sync, consistent and stable.

Thank you.

---

I have over 3 unconnected sources with no prior info on my life find that I am surrounded by persistent, negative entities that wish to use me. I`ve seen beings of an off-world nature, in plain sight in my home. I have constant pains in the indigo and violet centers precisely. I am ever certain of what is going on here. I will not squander information that is plainly obvious. I will not delude myself into accepting I am insane based on pure blind faith in medical authority.

I think the majority of us who are here have multiple negative entities around us who would love to use us. I think the difference is attention. If you are "testing" them and doing "confirmations" well, you are looking for their influence. And anything that we turn out attention to will be what manifests.

There is a reason that Ra consistently disliked talking about Orion and other negative entities: just doing so turns your attention towards them and in turn, tunes your vibrationally frequency in that direction. If Don asked too many questions about negative entities or influence, then the narrow band would diminish and another entity that matched the vibrational queries would answer in place of Ra.

This is why questions rooted in fear get answers loaded with more fear. You must be brave. Of course you are a high priority target, you are young, you just met your gorgeous and intelligent life partner whose light shines just as bright as yours, you are creative and you are writing down your inner words and thoughts to share with the world. Of course they want to target you. Tell them to screw (or use a more forceful words) off, and do your part by not worrying about such forces even existing. If in your world they don't exist, then they can't exist. Your light shines to brightly that you are eternally noticed, however, it is then again so bright that the negative forces cannot touch you. You can exercise your free will and change the course of your thinking patterns, if it is truly the light you desire.