10-27-2012, 02:25 AM
Hello, had a really cool experience today that I felt like sharing.
My dad has always seemed to have a hard time expressing his love to me. Over time, I didn't come to doubt his love, but I doubted that I would be able to appreciate it in any real sense. Feeling unable to perceive the love of a parent is a big deal (to me at least).
Well, I'm finally leaving the nest. I've lived in the same town as my parents for most of 30 years. I'm going to be living in Thailand in one week teaching English as a second language for a year or longer.
It turns out that my grandma had died right around the time that I am going through this huge change in my life. At the wake today, after viewing the body, I sat down in a pew to ponder things. (death is a great catalyst for new thought) My dad sits down and puts his arm around me. We might have had a comment or two for eachother; I don't remember.
After a bit of time passes, I begin doing what I habitually do around everyone I see: I open my heart and try to send him love. So, I begin to do that, but feel unable to. Instead, I feel a massive amount of what I try to send out being sent back to me. More than I've ever consciously put out before in my life. An amount that overwhelmed my small attempt to brighten my dad's life.
I was literally able to feel the energy of my dad's love and concern for me. I didn't cry when I saw my grandma's body, but I began to tear up when for the first time in a long time I was able to appreciate just how much my dad cares for me. Even now when I reflect back on it it causes my eyes to tear up. I'm truly humbled.
This experience has opened me up consciously to the amount of love that must course through all of creation as Creation seeks to know, and to love every infinite aspect of itself.
So, as you work through your experiences in life, as you remember past events, as you remember unconscionable things that you did in different lifetimes, and as you view the reprehensible things that other do: Remember that in it's perfection Creation simply desires to wake up to the truth that in every moment there is love.
My dad has always seemed to have a hard time expressing his love to me. Over time, I didn't come to doubt his love, but I doubted that I would be able to appreciate it in any real sense. Feeling unable to perceive the love of a parent is a big deal (to me at least).
Well, I'm finally leaving the nest. I've lived in the same town as my parents for most of 30 years. I'm going to be living in Thailand in one week teaching English as a second language for a year or longer.
It turns out that my grandma had died right around the time that I am going through this huge change in my life. At the wake today, after viewing the body, I sat down in a pew to ponder things. (death is a great catalyst for new thought) My dad sits down and puts his arm around me. We might have had a comment or two for eachother; I don't remember.
After a bit of time passes, I begin doing what I habitually do around everyone I see: I open my heart and try to send him love. So, I begin to do that, but feel unable to. Instead, I feel a massive amount of what I try to send out being sent back to me. More than I've ever consciously put out before in my life. An amount that overwhelmed my small attempt to brighten my dad's life.
I was literally able to feel the energy of my dad's love and concern for me. I didn't cry when I saw my grandma's body, but I began to tear up when for the first time in a long time I was able to appreciate just how much my dad cares for me. Even now when I reflect back on it it causes my eyes to tear up. I'm truly humbled.
This experience has opened me up consciously to the amount of love that must course through all of creation as Creation seeks to know, and to love every infinite aspect of itself.
So, as you work through your experiences in life, as you remember past events, as you remember unconscionable things that you did in different lifetimes, and as you view the reprehensible things that other do: Remember that in it's perfection Creation simply desires to wake up to the truth that in every moment there is love.
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