01-02-2011, 09:33 PM
I had a dream tonight that I am not sure of if it is connected to what happened during this day, but I post it anyway as it might be easier for you to see if there is any connection.
In the dream I was standing before Some Entities with no shape and I communicated to them in thoughtform (I was not myself as I am in this more or less conscious 3D form), so words are poor tools to translate this communication, but the main meaning of what I "said" was: "I want to die now". Instantly I was sent back to "Earth" and as I realized with my "Earth" consciousness what I just "said" I "screamed" back to these Entities that I "can almost die, not die fully". It is hard to translate all the thoughts into words since they are not compatible to my current brain.
During the day I had a deepiest meditaion ever but as I reached a critical point I started to cough my lungs out and the blue ray center received great pressure and pain/blockage. As I concentrated on this chakra during the day there was a message, probably from my Higher Self or the subconscioussness, that was very clear. I've had these kind of messages before and know better by now to not ignore them any more. The message was: "Prepare yourself now to go home". Simple and clear as it sounds.
Yesterday I had this feeling/knowing that expanded my earlier "belief". Prior to Ra material I "knew" that this was my last incarnation. Sometimes I could burst into cry wanting to go "home" without knowing what that concept of "home" meant. But I still missed it that much that I could have a great cry missing it that much. Anyway, yesterday, this feeling expanded into something bigger, that this is probably not only my last time incarnated on Earth but also in 3D of this "wheel" (hard to explain it, but I can try to explain if someone wants to).
"Preparing to go home" means to me to get rid of all humans values of Light. By that I mean that it is natural for human to "kneel" before angelic entities or higher densities. If I want to go home I must leave these distortions behind me while still incarnated and seek the love and oneness with all that appears. If it is an angel or Archangel or Higher Density Light I must interpret that this is One with me and I am an inseparable part of that Light. Does it sounds arrogant? One must not forget that this thought seems to go against "human nature"/and what is guarded on this planet, ie "free will". If a Higher Density Entity would appear in front of a human it is our natural instinct to "kneel" and follow that entity despite that it might conflict with our own inner nature of understanding.
It is yet not that simple since another big question that have been brought up to my attention earlier, but I refused to think it through then, was all the loved ones and all connections that have been made here on Earth (I've been here for about 3600 years, I think). I am thinking of not only my current mate but also my child. It is time now to think that through. It contains also a lot of connections made during my many incarnations that I am not fully aware of, both to other Wanderers and those of 3/4D entities, that I created bonds with. Sometimes I meet people, and some of them I refer/ed to as "Starsisters/brothers" and others I refer to as "beloved ones". Since I have not penetrated the veil of forgetting fully yet I don't trust myself yet in who is who. And it doesn't matter, since the question is – can I leave all of these that I created that special bonds with who are going to stay here?
This question is of double nature.
Back "home" I have this "memory" that I know is not complete in my current "human" understanding but the core point is there.
I left my mate because of the "mission". I followed principles of duty/honour/service to others instead of listening to my "heart", and I left him.
When I came back home a lot of time have past and he was "empty" inside. The Light was abscent in his eyes (this was not in 3D, might be 4D?) and then I realized the most important – that "duty" (=STO?) was not important. What was important is that in front of you, ie Love in front of you.
The reason that I left him in the first place was that I had something that no one else had, so it needed to be me. I followed this group through some tunnels (not of the Earth kind) into a chamber where memories become dizzy, but there is a strong feeling that in that "room" there were gates to the rest of the Universe (this is a very simple explanation).
I've been dreaming of this mate lot of times in different forms and the main picture is that I have enormous giult since at the end it was clear that I chose "duty" instead of true existence, that is love. I chose STO distortion instead of pure Light, that is love in front of you. This seems also to be a long time ago, before unity and understanding. That this IS the lesson of this current 3D life for me.
Am I making the same misstakes here as I made "back home"? Is this incarnation a lesson of what I missed to learn "home" and how do I learn it well now?
These questions and answers might be not applyable or translate-able in words – but I need to ask them as it seems that I am repeating the same pattern here and trying to learn from the past. As my current brain works – this all means that I have to throw all the concepts of my "home" away and become a part of this "family" with all of those that I have made strong bonds with, BUT never have I felt that special feeling and/or connection that bubbles up inside me thinking of my family, my home and specially of that entity back home which I left for the "duty".
Now I remember that there was also pride (that I had something that no one else had) and curiosity (that I needed to do being the special one which is another issue).
These are my experiences. It doesn't matter if they are unlike yours, does anybody else here have received the same message, ie it is time to prepare yourself, to go home? And what do these difficulties and/or experiences means to you?
In the dream I was standing before Some Entities with no shape and I communicated to them in thoughtform (I was not myself as I am in this more or less conscious 3D form), so words are poor tools to translate this communication, but the main meaning of what I "said" was: "I want to die now". Instantly I was sent back to "Earth" and as I realized with my "Earth" consciousness what I just "said" I "screamed" back to these Entities that I "can almost die, not die fully". It is hard to translate all the thoughts into words since they are not compatible to my current brain.
During the day I had a deepiest meditaion ever but as I reached a critical point I started to cough my lungs out and the blue ray center received great pressure and pain/blockage. As I concentrated on this chakra during the day there was a message, probably from my Higher Self or the subconscioussness, that was very clear. I've had these kind of messages before and know better by now to not ignore them any more. The message was: "Prepare yourself now to go home". Simple and clear as it sounds.
Yesterday I had this feeling/knowing that expanded my earlier "belief". Prior to Ra material I "knew" that this was my last incarnation. Sometimes I could burst into cry wanting to go "home" without knowing what that concept of "home" meant. But I still missed it that much that I could have a great cry missing it that much. Anyway, yesterday, this feeling expanded into something bigger, that this is probably not only my last time incarnated on Earth but also in 3D of this "wheel" (hard to explain it, but I can try to explain if someone wants to).
"Preparing to go home" means to me to get rid of all humans values of Light. By that I mean that it is natural for human to "kneel" before angelic entities or higher densities. If I want to go home I must leave these distortions behind me while still incarnated and seek the love and oneness with all that appears. If it is an angel or Archangel or Higher Density Light I must interpret that this is One with me and I am an inseparable part of that Light. Does it sounds arrogant? One must not forget that this thought seems to go against "human nature"/and what is guarded on this planet, ie "free will". If a Higher Density Entity would appear in front of a human it is our natural instinct to "kneel" and follow that entity despite that it might conflict with our own inner nature of understanding.
It is yet not that simple since another big question that have been brought up to my attention earlier, but I refused to think it through then, was all the loved ones and all connections that have been made here on Earth (I've been here for about 3600 years, I think). I am thinking of not only my current mate but also my child. It is time now to think that through. It contains also a lot of connections made during my many incarnations that I am not fully aware of, both to other Wanderers and those of 3/4D entities, that I created bonds with. Sometimes I meet people, and some of them I refer/ed to as "Starsisters/brothers" and others I refer to as "beloved ones". Since I have not penetrated the veil of forgetting fully yet I don't trust myself yet in who is who. And it doesn't matter, since the question is – can I leave all of these that I created that special bonds with who are going to stay here?
This question is of double nature.
Back "home" I have this "memory" that I know is not complete in my current "human" understanding but the core point is there.
I left my mate because of the "mission". I followed principles of duty/honour/service to others instead of listening to my "heart", and I left him.
When I came back home a lot of time have past and he was "empty" inside. The Light was abscent in his eyes (this was not in 3D, might be 4D?) and then I realized the most important – that "duty" (=STO?) was not important. What was important is that in front of you, ie Love in front of you.
The reason that I left him in the first place was that I had something that no one else had, so it needed to be me. I followed this group through some tunnels (not of the Earth kind) into a chamber where memories become dizzy, but there is a strong feeling that in that "room" there were gates to the rest of the Universe (this is a very simple explanation).
I've been dreaming of this mate lot of times in different forms and the main picture is that I have enormous giult since at the end it was clear that I chose "duty" instead of true existence, that is love. I chose STO distortion instead of pure Light, that is love in front of you. This seems also to be a long time ago, before unity and understanding. That this IS the lesson of this current 3D life for me.
Am I making the same misstakes here as I made "back home"? Is this incarnation a lesson of what I missed to learn "home" and how do I learn it well now?
These questions and answers might be not applyable or translate-able in words – but I need to ask them as it seems that I am repeating the same pattern here and trying to learn from the past. As my current brain works – this all means that I have to throw all the concepts of my "home" away and become a part of this "family" with all of those that I have made strong bonds with, BUT never have I felt that special feeling and/or connection that bubbles up inside me thinking of my family, my home and specially of that entity back home which I left for the "duty".
Now I remember that there was also pride (that I had something that no one else had) and curiosity (that I needed to do being the special one which is another issue).
These are my experiences. It doesn't matter if they are unlike yours, does anybody else here have received the same message, ie it is time to prepare yourself, to go home? And what do these difficulties and/or experiences means to you?