06-21-2018, 10:59 PM
So I've talked about this in a past post, but I'm still having issues.
I am trying to learn guitar and have since my last post decided to do some easier stuff so as to make it less intimidating. Still, I refuse to play guitar even though there's a song I want to play and would be motivated by playing. I feel a deep fear, sometimes in my solar plexus area and sometimes sacral. Sometimes, I get anxious and strong sexual energy arises feeling need for discharge. I have only just today started working extra hard to transmute and/or balance that energy in healthy ways that don't drain it.
I have found an EXCELLENT guided meditation for balancing and strengthening chakras that I intend to use from now on, I perform the lesser banishing ritual, I have decided to sometimes do the 21 day spirit prayer again, so as to call for aid in elevating and healing myself. Still, in spite of all this, my problem only seems to go away at night when everyone else is sleep, strangely enough.
I have read about empaths and feel I likely am one. I fear there may be some energy vampyre negative etheric cords keeping me down, such as with friends or family who may want to see me kept at their lower vibrational level.
I believe I probably already cut etheric ties with my mom when I gave up on her during my atheist years, but my dad and one of my childhood friends remain attached, because they'd shown signs of growth and improvement around me and that makes me feel like it would be "giing up on them" to cut etheric ties with them.
I just got over a brutal friendship breakup I had incurred with a friend who I had once taken for granted and I doubt this friend has anything to do with it, because I know them and even though they don't wanna speak to me right now, I know they are a high vibrational person.
My childhood friend I refer to however, has some major insecurities and a competitive streak, as well as what he jokingly referred to as "an inferiority complex" when playing videogames (basically acknowledging some level of self awareness of his insecurity)
My dad is the kind of guy who has taken a dog as his companion and has selfishly babied it to a point of utter dependency and it is afraid of it's own shadow I swear to god. I used to be pretty sickened by it, now I'm just saddened by it. There's a STRONG possibility that his soul may be poisoning me with negative energy and strong fear and distraction attacks just to keep me like his dog. There is a STRONG Oedipal thing going on in my family I have only just recently begun to outgrow and still haven't completely worked out. I think I may need to cut etheric ties with him.
Still, I LOVE these two and can't be sure of these assumptions, so I'm hesitant to cut the etheric cords and am not professionally trained or anything in these arts.
I also believe there's a good chance it could be an ancient wound being worked out in this lifetime.
Perhaps both?
Should I do it? Should I cut my father's cord, my friend's cord and/or my mother's cord? (officially, just to make sure)
Is there some way I can get QHHT and/or cord cutting therapy healing from some sort of specialized healer?
Is there some sort of alternative practice I could engage in which does not cost money and/or require another person's aid?
Any suggestions otherwise?
I'm REALLY trying to work this out and I feel stuck and I'm SO TIRE of having this feeling hold me back. It's so hard to describe, yet it's a growing fear that just gets worse and worse the more likely it seems that I'll actually DO anything I ought to be doing for myself, ESPECIALLY playing guitar. Even more than with art!
I think it may be both of these things. I dunno.
It doesn't make sense because I've worked through A LOT of DEEPLY ROOTED insecurity issues and healed them. So what's with this? I have a lot of faith. Why am I having such a hard time living like it?
Any and all help you provide is immensely appreciated.
Thank you all again for your loving support.
I am trying to learn guitar and have since my last post decided to do some easier stuff so as to make it less intimidating. Still, I refuse to play guitar even though there's a song I want to play and would be motivated by playing. I feel a deep fear, sometimes in my solar plexus area and sometimes sacral. Sometimes, I get anxious and strong sexual energy arises feeling need for discharge. I have only just today started working extra hard to transmute and/or balance that energy in healthy ways that don't drain it.
I have found an EXCELLENT guided meditation for balancing and strengthening chakras that I intend to use from now on, I perform the lesser banishing ritual, I have decided to sometimes do the 21 day spirit prayer again, so as to call for aid in elevating and healing myself. Still, in spite of all this, my problem only seems to go away at night when everyone else is sleep, strangely enough.
I have read about empaths and feel I likely am one. I fear there may be some energy vampyre negative etheric cords keeping me down, such as with friends or family who may want to see me kept at their lower vibrational level.
I believe I probably already cut etheric ties with my mom when I gave up on her during my atheist years, but my dad and one of my childhood friends remain attached, because they'd shown signs of growth and improvement around me and that makes me feel like it would be "giing up on them" to cut etheric ties with them.
I just got over a brutal friendship breakup I had incurred with a friend who I had once taken for granted and I doubt this friend has anything to do with it, because I know them and even though they don't wanna speak to me right now, I know they are a high vibrational person.
My childhood friend I refer to however, has some major insecurities and a competitive streak, as well as what he jokingly referred to as "an inferiority complex" when playing videogames (basically acknowledging some level of self awareness of his insecurity)
My dad is the kind of guy who has taken a dog as his companion and has selfishly babied it to a point of utter dependency and it is afraid of it's own shadow I swear to god. I used to be pretty sickened by it, now I'm just saddened by it. There's a STRONG possibility that his soul may be poisoning me with negative energy and strong fear and distraction attacks just to keep me like his dog. There is a STRONG Oedipal thing going on in my family I have only just recently begun to outgrow and still haven't completely worked out. I think I may need to cut etheric ties with him.
Still, I LOVE these two and can't be sure of these assumptions, so I'm hesitant to cut the etheric cords and am not professionally trained or anything in these arts.
I also believe there's a good chance it could be an ancient wound being worked out in this lifetime.
Perhaps both?
Should I do it? Should I cut my father's cord, my friend's cord and/or my mother's cord? (officially, just to make sure)
Is there some way I can get QHHT and/or cord cutting therapy healing from some sort of specialized healer?
Is there some sort of alternative practice I could engage in which does not cost money and/or require another person's aid?
Any suggestions otherwise?
I'm REALLY trying to work this out and I feel stuck and I'm SO TIRE of having this feeling hold me back. It's so hard to describe, yet it's a growing fear that just gets worse and worse the more likely it seems that I'll actually DO anything I ought to be doing for myself, ESPECIALLY playing guitar. Even more than with art!
I think it may be both of these things. I dunno.
It doesn't make sense because I've worked through A LOT of DEEPLY ROOTED insecurity issues and healed them. So what's with this? I have a lot of faith. Why am I having such a hard time living like it?
Any and all help you provide is immensely appreciated.
Thank you all again for your loving support.