There is an electrical energy that is very heavily restricting my orange chakra. Extremely heavily. It feels exactly identical to the feeling of hitting your funny bone - that electrical, zappy, incapacitating energy that shoots through your arm and lingers in the form of uncomfortable tingles. That exact same energy is surrounding, stifling, squeezing, choking my orange chakra! I am at a loss at how to approach this. I have never done any significant solar plexus or heart chakra work because of the intensity of this restriction.
It feels like an energetic torture device, like an electrical belt has been tightened around the center of the inner sacral region as tight as it can go. Especially in the kidneys. Every minute or so the energy sends a zap into that area. It's like a chastity belt that also shocks you periodically. And my kidneys feel as if they have a continuous current of negative electrical energy going through them. I can't really overstate how uncomfortable this is, but because I have known no other way of life for so long, I've gotten "used to it."
Sorry if this breaks a rule or something, but the highly uncomfortable feeling that can be derived from this picture - this is my life essentially. I have had no sexual energy flows in a very very long time. Obviously not normal, because I'm a young physically healthy 21 year old male.
To connect this restrictive energy metaphorically with the above picture - it feels as if every time my creative energy becomes "aroused," an intense electricity zaps it out.
Ra said this, which I find from experience to be true:
I've even stopped making music - my absolute favorite activity in the world - because during the creation of the music I receive double intensity shocks from this restrictive sacral energy.
I see it as my greatest spiritual teacher up to this point - but what is it teaching me? I do not know.
Please read all this as extreme understatement - in reality I'm quietly panicking! There's a soft subtle horror that is trapped inside... it's my tortured demon in the basement. I'd love some help in trying new approaches. Or a completely brand new perspective.
It feels like an energetic torture device, like an electrical belt has been tightened around the center of the inner sacral region as tight as it can go. Especially in the kidneys. Every minute or so the energy sends a zap into that area. It's like a chastity belt that also shocks you periodically. And my kidneys feel as if they have a continuous current of negative electrical energy going through them. I can't really overstate how uncomfortable this is, but because I have known no other way of life for so long, I've gotten "used to it."
Sorry if this breaks a rule or something, but the highly uncomfortable feeling that can be derived from this picture - this is my life essentially. I have had no sexual energy flows in a very very long time. Obviously not normal, because I'm a young physically healthy 21 year old male.
To connect this restrictive energy metaphorically with the above picture - it feels as if every time my creative energy becomes "aroused," an intense electricity zaps it out.
Ra said this, which I find from experience to be true:
Quote:Those with blockages in these first three energy centers, or nexi, will have continuing difficulties in ability to further their seeking of the Law of One.
I've even stopped making music - my absolute favorite activity in the world - because during the creation of the music I receive double intensity shocks from this restrictive sacral energy.
I see it as my greatest spiritual teacher up to this point - but what is it teaching me? I do not know.
Please read all this as extreme understatement - in reality I'm quietly panicking! There's a soft subtle horror that is trapped inside... it's my tortured demon in the basement. I'd love some help in trying new approaches. Or a completely brand new perspective.