06-22-2017, 05:49 PM
Working in the healthcare field, I'm exposed to all walks of life and sometimes these points in time, other selves are at their worst. Not in a bad sense, just at a low point of sorts. I xray people who truly are hurt and those that have to come to the emergency room because they lack health insurance. Some are so conditioned by big pharma and society that they need a pill to get better.
I'm generally good albeit in the minority that thinks that regardless of why they are here, they need help. It may be due to their ever destructive behaviour and lifestyle choices or simply because they are ignorant and reliant up on a system that has told them they can't do it themselves. Whatever it may be, they are there and it's my job and joy to at least bring a bit of comfort and hopefully a smile to their face.
Unfortunately, my attitude is in the extreme minority so I'm subject to quite frequent negative and judgemental comments and attitudes regarding patients and I admit that I allow it to affect me to the point where I join in. I do it then realize my imbalance and attempt to correct it for the next encounter. Having said that, there are times that I'm the pot stirrer especially when I've just worked 12 hours the prior night and exhaustion has kicked in.
Luckily I'm not working 12 days in a row anymore and I actually gave up one of my three jobs so I've been able to recuperate a bit until I have these long shifts which are a combination of two jobs. Though I love both and they are quite necessary, I find myself frustrated that the exhaustion somehow causes me to revert back to unbalanced ways.
For instance, I xrayed an elderly womans back today. She was probably 5ft and 300lbs. It took every bit of energy to walk the 20ft or so to my room. She exclaimed "I don't walk too much". Immediately, my thoughts were "gee I wonder why". I correct myself and proceed. We get into the room and I had to do these specific images standing. She had a very difficult time standing for a few minutes. The reason why she was doing this was because her doctor wouldn't give her a back brace until this was done. She said she can't stand for more than 10 minutes at a time before her back acts up.
After seeing her images and realizing that her back actually looked remarkably good for her age, I came to the conclusion that it was her weight yet she was completely oblivious to this. She even complained about her bathroom at home being too narrow and still never mentioned her weight.
I stewed over it and sunk to the level of ranting about the complete ignorance and lack of personal responsibility. As soon as the conversation was done, I had realized what I had done yet again and it's quite frustrating.
I understand that the balancing process is a never ending process. I know that once one appears to be balanced, another catalyst comes along to tell ya otherwise lol. What I find frustrating is that I'm very empathic towards most who come for help. I'm even empathic towards the iv drug users who are at what appears to be rock bottom yet nowhere close in their mind, manipulate people, take advantage of them, and even lash out of workers. But obese people, in this day and age if information, it's still very difficult for me to continuously keep a level of empathy that I have for others.
I have yet to pin down why yet I normally chalk it up to their own ignirance and reliance upon the system. I can brush it off at one instance, smile and say to myself, it's their path and their lessons. Yet other times, I just wanna be blunt and ask them how can they not see what they are doing to themselves.
It's quite the fickle experience working in healthcare. One ripe with a ridiculous amount of catalyst just waiting to be learned and boy does it teach me that I have much to learn
I'm generally good albeit in the minority that thinks that regardless of why they are here, they need help. It may be due to their ever destructive behaviour and lifestyle choices or simply because they are ignorant and reliant up on a system that has told them they can't do it themselves. Whatever it may be, they are there and it's my job and joy to at least bring a bit of comfort and hopefully a smile to their face.
Unfortunately, my attitude is in the extreme minority so I'm subject to quite frequent negative and judgemental comments and attitudes regarding patients and I admit that I allow it to affect me to the point where I join in. I do it then realize my imbalance and attempt to correct it for the next encounter. Having said that, there are times that I'm the pot stirrer especially when I've just worked 12 hours the prior night and exhaustion has kicked in.
Luckily I'm not working 12 days in a row anymore and I actually gave up one of my three jobs so I've been able to recuperate a bit until I have these long shifts which are a combination of two jobs. Though I love both and they are quite necessary, I find myself frustrated that the exhaustion somehow causes me to revert back to unbalanced ways.
For instance, I xrayed an elderly womans back today. She was probably 5ft and 300lbs. It took every bit of energy to walk the 20ft or so to my room. She exclaimed "I don't walk too much". Immediately, my thoughts were "gee I wonder why". I correct myself and proceed. We get into the room and I had to do these specific images standing. She had a very difficult time standing for a few minutes. The reason why she was doing this was because her doctor wouldn't give her a back brace until this was done. She said she can't stand for more than 10 minutes at a time before her back acts up.
After seeing her images and realizing that her back actually looked remarkably good for her age, I came to the conclusion that it was her weight yet she was completely oblivious to this. She even complained about her bathroom at home being too narrow and still never mentioned her weight.
I stewed over it and sunk to the level of ranting about the complete ignorance and lack of personal responsibility. As soon as the conversation was done, I had realized what I had done yet again and it's quite frustrating.
I understand that the balancing process is a never ending process. I know that once one appears to be balanced, another catalyst comes along to tell ya otherwise lol. What I find frustrating is that I'm very empathic towards most who come for help. I'm even empathic towards the iv drug users who are at what appears to be rock bottom yet nowhere close in their mind, manipulate people, take advantage of them, and even lash out of workers. But obese people, in this day and age if information, it's still very difficult for me to continuously keep a level of empathy that I have for others.
I have yet to pin down why yet I normally chalk it up to their own ignirance and reliance upon the system. I can brush it off at one instance, smile and say to myself, it's their path and their lessons. Yet other times, I just wanna be blunt and ask them how can they not see what they are doing to themselves.
It's quite the fickle experience working in healthcare. One ripe with a ridiculous amount of catalyst just waiting to be learned and boy does it teach me that I have much to learn