03-09-2017, 10:14 PM
Everything from the Ra documents is pretty much as I sensed it to be, it all lines up. STS is a mystery, but then again not so much, they're denial spirits, so heavily in denial about the reality that when you harm another you harm yourself (that you just feel naturally, unless you're emotionally repressed) and that darkness is suffocation (just to be in that state requires a constriction in awareness) and that in depriving themselves of life force like that, there can be none of the real depth of experience that comes with living in the light. Its scary and saddening that some souls go that direction, completely unaware of what they're doing (it requires a misperception, the misperception that other beings are not equally sentient beings, it couldn't stand without that misperception). And it makes all of us angry, which is one of the strange things about love, the more loving and compassionate we are, the most prone to that (easily homicidal) anger and rage we are, which is pretty much their energy (only with STO the anger is about how it affects others). I've seen it in myself how its not necessarily bad or harmful what sets a soul on the STS road, it can seem innocent and harmless initially but thats only possible if someone is in enough denial to not hear the ever present inner voice, or to block it out, and that in itself might not be bad or evil (but it can lead to it pretty quick), and thats a really sad aspect of it, someone who cares so much can be traumatised much more easily than someone blocked. Traumatised by just being born into a world where (relatively mild levels of) selfishness is considered normal and okay, thats a shock to any soul that knows nothing other than the innate love and compassion. Having lived what I lived, I can forgive and to some degree love (compassion knowing their hell, compassion is just love that flows with knowing anothers suffering) STS, I get it, the poor bastards have inadvertantly cut themselves off from the light, something that could only be made possible by the source of it alls conscious blueprint to know itself in a deep, DEEP way. Its clear to anyone with heart how heart in this world couldn't have that deep, deep dimension of beauty if it wasn't aligned with free will (if wasn't a choice, and the difficult choice, it wouldn't be so deeply beautiful as it is).
Its beyond beautiful to see people in this world on the path of heart in the face of any hardship and all challenges, and its not the veil of forgetfulness, or freewill itself that makes it so immensely beautiful, its that there exist STS souls. Observing how vibrational resonance works, its obvious that hating them feeds them and loving them takes the STOs power back, so this kinder perspective for them doesn't empower them, it disempowers them and gives them greater incentive (their incentive is power, if that powers denied then the dead endessness of that path become more rapidly obvious, you can see in everyday encounters how deep rejection of "bad people" actually empowers them because it enables fear of them, which is impossible if you love them, and fear tends to be based on illusions, like how you can fear an imaginary person in your dreams if you perceive them in a particular way) to move into the light. Unconditional love means loving ALL beings for being just the way they are. That includes the dark ones. Thats a great challenge in this life, but living the life I've lived, its not actually that hard, an ironic twisted of events made it so my repression was a direct reflection of the magnitude of my love, compassion and concern for others, and the repression is the only thing that made possible am STS perspective (STS in mind, STO in heart which made it seem so innocent until it became obvious) without which it could never have been possible making "mistakes" (which haunt me to my core, theres no words for how immensely they hurt) that you would never make if you were already aware of the consequences. You feel the effects yourself and thats because you care so deeply, repressing pain as part of your strategy to help others isn't consciously bad, but its the dark path, it takes experience to know that, taking that repression to an even deeper level, it becomes obvious thats the dark path, but that depends on life experience, someone born into an abusive family and never knowing love could much more easily identify with the belief that others are mean/bad and the resulting belief that its not bad to care about oneself before others. I didn't have this life experience, I was born into a loving family as a loving being, the dark choice I made was to believe this life is like a dream and we're all the same spirit (which is correct, but void of the reality that we're all on our own individual journey) so I don't have a responsibility to be all I can be in order to help others in their journey. And this is the perspective that enabled further repression. I'm guessing this is what "STS knowledge" is, its not knowledge but rather a misbelief than when identified with enables a soul to deny/forget real knowledge (which comes from the heart and is already there, not something you have to learn). Theres only so far I could go before realising that repression is evil, and seeing the perspective for what it is. A soulmate who entered my life, she did this and she impacted me on such an extreme level, I love her beyond anything I could have comprehended, and its purely unconditional, I love everything about her, especially the imperfections she sees in herself, I love her inside out and its a selfless love, I want to destroy myself for her prosperity but this is the nature of love, if I destroy myself I harm her so theres the awareness that self destruction = harm to others. Somehow I forgot this growing up, but with her theres no forgetting. But shes not the only one that loves me this way, my mother, my family, somehow I turned away from it all and thought it was all okay so long as I never harmed anyone (not realising that to not harm loving beings you have to "be" all you can be and be completely aligned with the light which means not turning away from yourself).
A whole lot of knowledge has come through this, this knowledge is not so easy to bear (its crushing my soul, its clear (to everyone around me when it happened) that this mistake wasn't intentional, it could only happen by being ripped in two directions of feeling whats right) like this, but if it wasn't just as it is, it wouldn't be as it is, it wouldn't open rare position to give loving knowledgeable that can only come from this rare position. That doesn't make it any easier to bear, I feel like destroying myself for letting it happen, and only a loving being could make this mistake. Its haunting me from the subconscious, I chose to risk an opportunity to help someone I deeply love (deep doesn't do it justice, shes a soulmate, someone I love completely unconditionally on a level there are no words for) to do something I felt was honourable and aligned with what I stand for, which is egalitarianism and alleviation of the suffering of all beings. If I was a bit more selfish I could not cared about this other person and stuck with the safe path. But it was my choice to repress the pain of love that enabled it to happen (I was so troubled at the possibility of losing this opporunity I couldn't think or function, I made the horrific mistake of repressing the pain, the emotions are guidance on what is truly right), and now this other person is of no importance in any way, her suffering is so petty and insignificant compared to this its an insult, the deepest insult that it could sway me like this. After this I hate myself on an unimaginable (to me then, but this is probably not abnormal for humanity) level, that its wiped out my ability to function and thats what really caused the blockage in opportunity. I can't accept losing the opportunity, its too ugly and dark so I'm more than willing to destroy myself to create the opportunity for her, but I know she cares about me and destroying myself harms her which causes a dissonance, when I work in a self destructive way towards helping her, my heart aches just the same. My family cares about me in this same way (the loving way, maybe not to this extent, but its the same thing), and I didn't even consider this. I'm evil, theres no mistake, I did things (or more didn't do what I should have) that resulted in harm, and that was only possible as a result of repression. If I was selfish, I woulda just stook to the easy risk free path, but I jumped into the dangerous path out of unconditional compassion (all I needed was to see the suffering in the other person and any other path would be a violation, but my soulmate is way, WAY more sacred and important to me than this person, how the f*** could I do this?
The only gem I see salvaged from all this is the rare knowledge that comes from this mistake, a mistake which violates love like that, and was made in the name of love (pure compassion, the most selfless kind), if nothing else I can share that with others. Wronging a being like this in any way, standing on her foot accidentally would haunt me, but this... I never experienced self hatred until this. The only people who stepped in and encouraged me to make the mistake (it wasn't one mistake, it happened over the courage of a few months) was my family and this soulmate, the most sacred and loving people in my life, the only thing that really would have made me make the right choice was being truly aligned with myself, the guidance was there all along, blazing me in the dream state, it told me every step of the way, but it seems that the way it works is it hits you right at the last second, so you need to be ready at every moment, and the only real way to be that is being with yourself at all moments. The only factor that enabled this to happen was choosing not to let that all knowing force guide me. The only true way to be STO is aligning with yourself (which means accepting all the messages from the heart), by taking full responsibility for every action and its consequences. The heart lets you know whats right when its right, and thats key, it lets you know when the right moment is because thats what makes the choice powerful, timing is everything. Its not about the choice itself, its about when its time to choose. Anyone whos experienced a glimpse of the universal love and compassion I was flooded with 2 years ago would gravitate to the love with all intensity, theres no other way and no other direction. I know what STS is about, its slavery, dominance, torture, inversion of all thats sacred and right, but equally aware its not what it appears from a 3D STO + STS perspective, its not intention (truly intentional as in they "see" (spiritual sight comes from the heart)) what they're doing, its more like a blindness, they don't know what they're doing, I could never judge or hate someone born blind because they don't see what I see. The way it goes is your ability to perceive a vibration is a relection of your ability to perceive that vibration within youself (its really hard for a "good person" to see negative intent in others because they lack it within themselves, but good people with enough negative intent seem to see it easily, a bit too easily). The only way to get through to STS is laying bait, showing them something thats within their capacity to see.
Its so unnobable, dishonourable and evil what I did, I'm subconciously choosing hell, and thats what negative karma is, its the unconscious choice to suffer for having violated whats right (whether your consciouslessly aware of it or not, hence why its unconscious), repression/denial is the only thing that makes it unconscious, its wide open and visible with acceptance. Suffering for this doesn't help anyone, its actually whats making it the problem it is, its what it is for a reason, STO isn't what it appears on the 3D level so the only real way to be STO is through the heart (which is beyond mind and 3D mind perspective), its about being a spiritual badass at all times and accepting every moment of life as a challenge, a test, something to propel you more rapidly in the right direction, every challenge as it comes which leaves no room for suppression or denial (alignment is all thats needed to starve the darkness). All loving beings know this in their heart, the only way to not know is being cut off from the heart (which is suffocation, theres no depth without the heart, why STS is a never ending craving, suffocation, need for something outside oneself). Being honourable with yourself is just as important which means needing nothing from anyone, only accepting what someone wants to give from the heart, and living every moment in the right way, if you take yourself out of the equation you lose the big picture because the reality is you're an integral part of the well being of all those around you. Selflessness is right when its right, and caring for yourself is equally right when its right and thats every day knowing that the better you are betters everyone that cares about you.
Its beyond beautiful to see people in this world on the path of heart in the face of any hardship and all challenges, and its not the veil of forgetfulness, or freewill itself that makes it so immensely beautiful, its that there exist STS souls. Observing how vibrational resonance works, its obvious that hating them feeds them and loving them takes the STOs power back, so this kinder perspective for them doesn't empower them, it disempowers them and gives them greater incentive (their incentive is power, if that powers denied then the dead endessness of that path become more rapidly obvious, you can see in everyday encounters how deep rejection of "bad people" actually empowers them because it enables fear of them, which is impossible if you love them, and fear tends to be based on illusions, like how you can fear an imaginary person in your dreams if you perceive them in a particular way) to move into the light. Unconditional love means loving ALL beings for being just the way they are. That includes the dark ones. Thats a great challenge in this life, but living the life I've lived, its not actually that hard, an ironic twisted of events made it so my repression was a direct reflection of the magnitude of my love, compassion and concern for others, and the repression is the only thing that made possible am STS perspective (STS in mind, STO in heart which made it seem so innocent until it became obvious) without which it could never have been possible making "mistakes" (which haunt me to my core, theres no words for how immensely they hurt) that you would never make if you were already aware of the consequences. You feel the effects yourself and thats because you care so deeply, repressing pain as part of your strategy to help others isn't consciously bad, but its the dark path, it takes experience to know that, taking that repression to an even deeper level, it becomes obvious thats the dark path, but that depends on life experience, someone born into an abusive family and never knowing love could much more easily identify with the belief that others are mean/bad and the resulting belief that its not bad to care about oneself before others. I didn't have this life experience, I was born into a loving family as a loving being, the dark choice I made was to believe this life is like a dream and we're all the same spirit (which is correct, but void of the reality that we're all on our own individual journey) so I don't have a responsibility to be all I can be in order to help others in their journey. And this is the perspective that enabled further repression. I'm guessing this is what "STS knowledge" is, its not knowledge but rather a misbelief than when identified with enables a soul to deny/forget real knowledge (which comes from the heart and is already there, not something you have to learn). Theres only so far I could go before realising that repression is evil, and seeing the perspective for what it is. A soulmate who entered my life, she did this and she impacted me on such an extreme level, I love her beyond anything I could have comprehended, and its purely unconditional, I love everything about her, especially the imperfections she sees in herself, I love her inside out and its a selfless love, I want to destroy myself for her prosperity but this is the nature of love, if I destroy myself I harm her so theres the awareness that self destruction = harm to others. Somehow I forgot this growing up, but with her theres no forgetting. But shes not the only one that loves me this way, my mother, my family, somehow I turned away from it all and thought it was all okay so long as I never harmed anyone (not realising that to not harm loving beings you have to "be" all you can be and be completely aligned with the light which means not turning away from yourself).
A whole lot of knowledge has come through this, this knowledge is not so easy to bear (its crushing my soul, its clear (to everyone around me when it happened) that this mistake wasn't intentional, it could only happen by being ripped in two directions of feeling whats right) like this, but if it wasn't just as it is, it wouldn't be as it is, it wouldn't open rare position to give loving knowledgeable that can only come from this rare position. That doesn't make it any easier to bear, I feel like destroying myself for letting it happen, and only a loving being could make this mistake. Its haunting me from the subconscious, I chose to risk an opportunity to help someone I deeply love (deep doesn't do it justice, shes a soulmate, someone I love completely unconditionally on a level there are no words for) to do something I felt was honourable and aligned with what I stand for, which is egalitarianism and alleviation of the suffering of all beings. If I was a bit more selfish I could not cared about this other person and stuck with the safe path. But it was my choice to repress the pain of love that enabled it to happen (I was so troubled at the possibility of losing this opporunity I couldn't think or function, I made the horrific mistake of repressing the pain, the emotions are guidance on what is truly right), and now this other person is of no importance in any way, her suffering is so petty and insignificant compared to this its an insult, the deepest insult that it could sway me like this. After this I hate myself on an unimaginable (to me then, but this is probably not abnormal for humanity) level, that its wiped out my ability to function and thats what really caused the blockage in opportunity. I can't accept losing the opportunity, its too ugly and dark so I'm more than willing to destroy myself to create the opportunity for her, but I know she cares about me and destroying myself harms her which causes a dissonance, when I work in a self destructive way towards helping her, my heart aches just the same. My family cares about me in this same way (the loving way, maybe not to this extent, but its the same thing), and I didn't even consider this. I'm evil, theres no mistake, I did things (or more didn't do what I should have) that resulted in harm, and that was only possible as a result of repression. If I was selfish, I woulda just stook to the easy risk free path, but I jumped into the dangerous path out of unconditional compassion (all I needed was to see the suffering in the other person and any other path would be a violation, but my soulmate is way, WAY more sacred and important to me than this person, how the f*** could I do this?
The only gem I see salvaged from all this is the rare knowledge that comes from this mistake, a mistake which violates love like that, and was made in the name of love (pure compassion, the most selfless kind), if nothing else I can share that with others. Wronging a being like this in any way, standing on her foot accidentally would haunt me, but this... I never experienced self hatred until this. The only people who stepped in and encouraged me to make the mistake (it wasn't one mistake, it happened over the courage of a few months) was my family and this soulmate, the most sacred and loving people in my life, the only thing that really would have made me make the right choice was being truly aligned with myself, the guidance was there all along, blazing me in the dream state, it told me every step of the way, but it seems that the way it works is it hits you right at the last second, so you need to be ready at every moment, and the only real way to be that is being with yourself at all moments. The only factor that enabled this to happen was choosing not to let that all knowing force guide me. The only true way to be STO is aligning with yourself (which means accepting all the messages from the heart), by taking full responsibility for every action and its consequences. The heart lets you know whats right when its right, and thats key, it lets you know when the right moment is because thats what makes the choice powerful, timing is everything. Its not about the choice itself, its about when its time to choose. Anyone whos experienced a glimpse of the universal love and compassion I was flooded with 2 years ago would gravitate to the love with all intensity, theres no other way and no other direction. I know what STS is about, its slavery, dominance, torture, inversion of all thats sacred and right, but equally aware its not what it appears from a 3D STO + STS perspective, its not intention (truly intentional as in they "see" (spiritual sight comes from the heart)) what they're doing, its more like a blindness, they don't know what they're doing, I could never judge or hate someone born blind because they don't see what I see. The way it goes is your ability to perceive a vibration is a relection of your ability to perceive that vibration within youself (its really hard for a "good person" to see negative intent in others because they lack it within themselves, but good people with enough negative intent seem to see it easily, a bit too easily). The only way to get through to STS is laying bait, showing them something thats within their capacity to see.
Its so unnobable, dishonourable and evil what I did, I'm subconciously choosing hell, and thats what negative karma is, its the unconscious choice to suffer for having violated whats right (whether your consciouslessly aware of it or not, hence why its unconscious), repression/denial is the only thing that makes it unconscious, its wide open and visible with acceptance. Suffering for this doesn't help anyone, its actually whats making it the problem it is, its what it is for a reason, STO isn't what it appears on the 3D level so the only real way to be STO is through the heart (which is beyond mind and 3D mind perspective), its about being a spiritual badass at all times and accepting every moment of life as a challenge, a test, something to propel you more rapidly in the right direction, every challenge as it comes which leaves no room for suppression or denial (alignment is all thats needed to starve the darkness). All loving beings know this in their heart, the only way to not know is being cut off from the heart (which is suffocation, theres no depth without the heart, why STS is a never ending craving, suffocation, need for something outside oneself). Being honourable with yourself is just as important which means needing nothing from anyone, only accepting what someone wants to give from the heart, and living every moment in the right way, if you take yourself out of the equation you lose the big picture because the reality is you're an integral part of the well being of all those around you. Selflessness is right when its right, and caring for yourself is equally right when its right and thats every day knowing that the better you are betters everyone that cares about you.