01-04-2016, 05:08 AM
It has taken me a long time to process, but at some point I realized fear of death is/was the core of my panic/anxiety attacks. The first thing that might come to your mind is "how can you feel like that when you know what death is?"; "You know what happens from the Ra Material, other channeled material, and your intuition." It seems counter-intuitive, but I did not fear death and I did not have panic attacks when I was depressed and didn't really want to live. I only developed the panic attacks because I decided I wanted to live. I really, really want to live.
I know that I will die some day, as we all do. I know that I am simply one of the multiple simultaneous incarnations / perspectives I am choosing to experience right now. I know that when this experience ends, I will simply wake up into a 'more real' experience, despite how lucid this experience currently feels.
At the moment, I don't really remember any of my 'past' or 'future' lives. I don't even really get vague impressions. But one thing I remember for sure is the sensation of dying. The sensation is extremely familiar to me; I have died many times. I know that the experience of death is not unpleasant. The fear and anticipation of death is much worse than the actual sensation.
It doesn't bother me anymore to passively consider death. In that moment, it seems like I am deeply contemplating my death; but in reality I am viewing myself in the 3rd person as the observer. There is a world of difference between vicariously and directly experiencing death. When I really truly focus on the idea of my death, it terrifies me.
I've known all this for quite some time now. The new thing I just realized (which was catalyzed by a movie that caused me to truly face my own mortality), is my fear of death evaporates as soon as I focus myself in the now. I know it's a cliché in this community and maybe I'm preaching the choir; but if you are able to successfully focus yourself in the Now Moment with the full knowledge that time is an illusion and there truly is only Now, you will not fear death.
Death is in the future. The future (and the past) are malleable from the present because that is the only thing that truly exists. I think we don't know when we will die because it would ruin the whole thing and that's all we could focus on.
I know that I will die some day, as we all do. I know that I am simply one of the multiple simultaneous incarnations / perspectives I am choosing to experience right now. I know that when this experience ends, I will simply wake up into a 'more real' experience, despite how lucid this experience currently feels.
At the moment, I don't really remember any of my 'past' or 'future' lives. I don't even really get vague impressions. But one thing I remember for sure is the sensation of dying. The sensation is extremely familiar to me; I have died many times. I know that the experience of death is not unpleasant. The fear and anticipation of death is much worse than the actual sensation.
It doesn't bother me anymore to passively consider death. In that moment, it seems like I am deeply contemplating my death; but in reality I am viewing myself in the 3rd person as the observer. There is a world of difference between vicariously and directly experiencing death. When I really truly focus on the idea of my death, it terrifies me.
I've known all this for quite some time now. The new thing I just realized (which was catalyzed by a movie that caused me to truly face my own mortality), is my fear of death evaporates as soon as I focus myself in the now. I know it's a cliché in this community and maybe I'm preaching the choir; but if you are able to successfully focus yourself in the Now Moment with the full knowledge that time is an illusion and there truly is only Now, you will not fear death.
Death is in the future. The future (and the past) are malleable from the present because that is the only thing that truly exists. I think we don't know when we will die because it would ruin the whole thing and that's all we could focus on.