Powered by depression. STS path.

[Nowheretoday]

Seven years ago I was depressed, so low, the hatred against society, the power found in it, fed me even deeper. I could feel this unexplainable power coming from being so low, for the self,  a separation.
I managed to get out, much learning came from it, I found The Law of One.
Now back again, depressed, even with daily meditation and exercise. The hatred against the sleeping ones, the selfish monkeys, even those close to you. Disappointed because doing the right thing does not pay off in this illusion that humans have created.
Being so isolated my whole life, because of my soul, and now my understanding, there's no balance when you are against the world.
Depressed again, the sorrow, the power found in it, feeds me to go even deeper, I pray, I want more, I wanna test myself, how low can I go, how much power can I get from it, I'm not fighting this selfish world anymore, I'm joining them, but just as I was the most compassionate and accepting I'll be the most manipulative and controlling one, let be show you how it's done.
I've had dreams about it. I'm playing with fire, but only thoughts, I'm tired, I'm just really f*ing sad. I still have faith that I'm in the right path, I can see the flow, the pieces fit, I want more, I feel alive, this is fun.

[Night Owl]

So as of today are you having fun or being depressed?

[Stranger]

Nowheretoday, have you tried therapy? Do you meditate?

[isis]

Do you meditate?

Now back again, depressed, even with daily meditation and exercise.

[Aion]

The power gets old after awhile. Eventually you realize that the whole time you clung to power you were actually hiding from your own weaknesses.

When you 'go lower' I think it's actually because you are suppressing the release of energy within you so it appears to me the 'power' you are gaining is simply pressure build up from repression. Classic.

[The_Tired_Philosopher]

I feel the same OP.  Meditation has actually made it worse for me, My depression stems from everyone elses pain and suffering at their own hands.

Once I realized this it was just downhill.  After looking into all this place had offered I realized I was living in a mental hell so perversely and perfectly crafted by the Ra Material that I was literally hurting myself through others.

And after outlining how and why It was hell, then watching the hellish people rebute it as nonsense despite including their own nonsense, I knew I took a wrong turn.

My path is not left or right, they are farces, ruses, facades, distractions, illusions, and utterly madness.  They are one in the same and no one sees this deception or simultaneous deception/truth.  Its sad that the Law of One has been reduced to being acquired by being any specific way...
Its sad overall, this whole reality.  I choose neutrality AND BALANCE, MY balance.  Not yours or theirs or ours.

I couldn't even explain why, and even if I could, no one got passed polarity, I don't they'll understand the irrational looking superational of Unity...

I doubt anyone will understand anything like me.  I have always expected the worse, just so its inevitability doesn't hurt so much.  My life could honestly be titled Things Making No Sense.  Society and Earth and according to the Ra Material, even the Cosmos is built to be backwards on purpose.

My body is an empty shell for my soul.  My soul is an empty shell for my consciousness.

There is no selfless point to creation.  Creator is immoral and unethical by Human standards.  In fact Human standards are excuses because they're only there to be 'overcome' yet the Ra Material says nothing is overcome, what isn't needed falls away.

This Philosophy incites good, definitely, but I question Ra and the Confederacy as per their 'Services' to the Creator.

If Creator sees no wrong, murder is a service, not infringement.  But genetic manipulation (by same confederacy) is infringement.  Requiring a Quarantine that can force others away against their will as per their own 'Higher/Cteator's Will'.

My advice to those in the same place as me, once in light now drowning in darkness.

Drop the entire Law of One and pick it up in pieces and take what makes you feel good LONGTERM, and drop the rest as per Ra's own request.  If the bad still resonates, you need to step back and figure out if its true resonance or just bandwagon joy of finally having a group of people to identify with.

I wouldn't believe in spiritual parasites, or negative greetings or demons or what the fuckinghell ever.  Its all, ALL MADNESS.  Don't step in front of it if you're an empath.  In concept or otherwise.

Mirrors can crack, its a real damn shame no one warns people of the dangers possible in this philosophy even if others don't see it.  So much for all are equal if our opinions of the Material aren't even considered.
Or seeing what road that material leads many down.

Oh, yes.  Insanity!  I wonder why.  It couldn't be Polarity is of itself Insane in 3D and up.  This is a very strange place to me in Many ways.

If I am a Wanderer, I ponder if I'm even relative this side of the Universe, but I honestly don't care anymore.

Fact is, I'm so different that its apparently my fault for being different causing the natural issues I have with this place.

I do not accept unity as the justification for this horrid place.  If Unity is responsible then Unity is inherently selfish and wrong by human standards.

The Philosophy breaks all sorts of apart, if its driving you fucking insane into psychotic states of sadness OR madness, just god damn run away man.  Save yourself from this insanity, take what feels GOOD, not Right, and leave the rest.

Life ain't worth living miserably.

If Creator were made of Love, this place wouldn't be this way laughing and rejecting with a blind eye turned on both ends (STO n STS) at their own madness they see in the other but justify in themselves.

Run, friend.  The Law of One seems more like a psychological trap.
I've read and heard how people go crazy from this stuff not just by members, but Carla writes about it in her books too, especially with channelings.

No one officially warns about this.

Come on in weary light traveler, lose your mind with us for a bit then be left off worse than you were before if you can't heal yourself along the way.

Earth wasn't built for suffering.  Why does the Ra Material layout 3D catalyst like a sort of Hell?

Why do some see it and others don't?

All part of the game.  Its why I don't discuss it much here anymore, its madness hidden fancifully as 'enlightening knowledge'.

I performed it all as it was laid out.  I had results, thatdidn't fully match up with what was said.  I questioned this then found this place and basically got handed an infinity of ridiculousness with how poorly the Ra Material is intellectualized into personal versions of reality, which are then used impersonally as if that view was The Law of One equivalent to be given to others.  When you question it its like playing a puzzle game, with one puzzle and each person sees a different image on the pieces.  How do they work together to put it together?  They don't have the same picture!

That is what it feels like dealing with the Law of One.

So if its driving you into bad places, bail.  Don't just sit here and ride it out.  Jump ship! ABANDON THE SHIP
ABORT ABORT ABORT MISSION

And go back to focusing on your life, on you, on being the perfect as you were person, on being the flawed human you are.  Jump off this mad drive and help yourself before you become dependent on Light and Love as being reality or else Dark and Suffering is the Game otherwise.

Its not.

I'm here with you too, I thought selfishness was the way.  Its not.  There is no way.

We're free.  Do whatever you must be happy, burn the Bible or the Ra Material.  Who the hell cares?

Its your life, do what you must for you, don't let this admittedly incredible philosophy ruin you.

Because, honestly, I see it can and does.  No one has said anything, so here I am...

Drop the Law of One if you're experiencing life going dark and bitter.

Hell isn't worth Heaven.
And Heaven isn't worth Hell.

Polarity is madness to me, so if it is for you too, drop it, don't suffer.  Its not worth it.

Be happy, all can be one, but that doesn't mean we will know that socially in our lifetime as far as we know.

Its like people talking about disclosure or harvest incoming.

Its not going to just happen, the constant over the years hopes and struggles against nothing but self desire to be rescued is sad.

This WHOLE UNIVERSE appears sad to me based on the way this place is handled and justified for.

As I said, save yourself OP.
Law of One is not for everyone.  I'm one of them.
And its very sad for me to be saying that, I'm only here cause I decided against suicide because of this Philosophy.
Now I ponder once again.  But instead of going mad over not knowing, I'll just leave it alone, and continue on.

There is no road to me.  Just an open terrain to travel.  The world is hostile and dark in places.  Sometimes we live there.  What's to be done in a backwards world where it can be proven God doesn't care vs does?

How can one be expected to love?  When they're basically forced to do so in 3d 'or else' catalyst ensues using pain to motivate.

That is Hell-sounding.

Then suicide forces you to relive the exact same life over and over? Without memory?  So I could be on try 72 with 71 suicides behind me and I'd never know?  Hellier sounding.

Hmm.  I could go on but my point is being beaten to death.

Be as you will be.  Get away from this dogmatic philosophy of angels, demons, self vs others, but all are the same.  Just get away, if its hurting you.

Still human.  Don't let intellectual philosophy use yourself against you to bully yerself or others.  Let it go.  Drop that s***.

-Drops bass-
-Feels bad cause I like the LOO but hate how it hurts some people-

[Nowheretoday]

So as of today are you having fun or being depressed?

Having fun being depressed better than no experience at all.

[Nowheretoday]

Nowheretoday, have you tried therapy?  Do you meditate?

Therapy? someone telling you what they think is the right to do? or giving you prescription drugs that feed those in power? a judgement based on the way the system works? I don't need it, yet.

[Nowheretoday]

I'm sorry. Them emotions. I forgive myself.

[The_Tired_Philosopher]

How bad is the feeling of isolation for you?

[Jeremy]

Nowheretoday, have you tried therapy?  Do you meditate?

Therapy? someone telling you what they think is the right to do? or giving you prescription drugs that feed those in power? a judgement based on the way the system works? I don't need it, yet.

If a therapist is telling you how to think,  you should move on to a different therapist. Psychologists don't prescribe meds,  only psychiatrists do.  

A good Psychologist will allow you to find your  own answers by gently guiding you to the door. This door is a door only you can step through. They won't make you do anything. They only ask very vague questions so that you come to the conclusion that you need to come to so that you can find the answers that you seek. 

My old psychologist, was more of a mentor so to speak. Sometimes I'd go see him just to talk about life. He was very learned in Tolle,  Buddhism,  etc so it was fascinating to talk to him and this was a decade prior to ever finding such philosophies. 

[Jeremy]

I feel the same OP.  Meditation has actually made it worse for me, My depression stems from everyone elses pain and suffering at their own hands.

Once I realized this it was just downhill.  After looking into all this place had offered I realized I was living in a mental hell so perversely and perfectly crafted by the Ra Material that I was literally hurting myself through others.

...

Have you read this particular transcript? It's wonderfully explained and brings a sense of peace when feeling down. This is the best part but the entire transcript is worth reading

Quo, July 31, 2007 Wrote:Questioner: Do wanderers ever consider the risks they are taking in incarnating? For example, what’s the impact on their social memory complexes and themselves?


We are those of Q’uo, and are aware of your query, my brother. Indeed, the commitment to become a wanderer is not taken lightly. It is thought out carefully and considered for a considerable amount of your time, indeed, centuries of your time, while the commitment to the work is perfected, refined and honed to a sharp edge. It is an act of great courage to be a wanderer.

What wanderers usually do not realize is that that which is so obvious and easy from the other side of the veil is impossible to read and difficult to bear within the thick veiling of the third density of Earth, with its free will and its extremely thick veil. The danger always is that the wanderer will not wake up, or, if it is partially awake, that it will awaken only to complain that it is not comfortable, that it wants to go home, that it must leave this place that is so polluted and dirty.

To those who feel these things, we would suggest that it is precisely because this planet is so in need of higher vibrations that you came to serve at this time, to help lighten the vibrations of Planet Earth. And you could not do this without incarnating and becoming one of the tribe of humankind. Your love was so great that you took that step. And now you have awakened and you know how difficult a step it was to take. We encourage you to take hold of the honor and the duty of being a wanderer.

That which you know of the higher planes, that which you remember in a dim or not so dim way, bring into your heart and let it bless the environment that you see before you, just as it is. You are not here to clean it up. You are not here to make it right. You are not here to fix it. For all of the outer world is an illusion. You are here to love it. Take the world in your arms and embrace it. This is how you came to serve. This is your glory and your crown. Wear it well and rejoice in being here.


http://www.llresearch.org/transcripts/is..._0731.aspx



Here's another good one also 


http://www.llresearch.org/transcripts/is..._0300.aspx

[Stranger]

I hear the overwhelming sadness and despair you are both expressing, TTP and Nowheretoday, and having lived through it myself, I understand it -- what it feels like to be in it, and also how to escape it.

Here are the three essential points:
1. antagonism = sadness
2. love (goodwill) = joy
3. we choose which of these we express.

Every moment, we radiate out to the Universe some degree of goodwill or antagonism (i.e., love or hate). If we honestly examine what we're putting out, we can see that the mood we're experiencing is in direct correspondence with this. Then, over years, if we continue putting out negativity, it congeals in us and creates a form of inertia that makes it difficult to change; we end up stuck in a rut of emotional misery.

You might argue that the worldview you so eloquently expressed, TTP, is the only reasonable one to have. So be it. Whether or not your worldview is true, I think you will agree that it's not helpful to you. It is not creating a satisfying or fulfilling life for you, nor is there some larger purpose which it serves. Others who have been through depression and come out of it would say that by focusing exclusively on the negative it is inevitable that you will only see the negative.

In any case, I've come to the conclusion that the only thing that has no downside in this world is love. It heals our broken psyches, relationships, and societies. When we find love, we can begin to heal ourselves and, by doing so, help to heal the world in a gentle but unstoppable way.

To love something does not mean to approve of it. It is more simple than that: the wish to heal and benefit, on the deepest level. Warmth and tenderness, even if in compassion to the suffering you are seeing. That wish itself is healing, because it is love. On the other hand, resenting - whether particular individuals or the world as a whole - actually causes harm and perpetuates the cycle of negativity.

How to heal - to find love? I think perhaps what is going wrong in your meditation is that the lid of the stored up pot of negativity is lifted, and it becomes more acute. Meditation does indeed bring us face to face with what we've stored up over the years; it activates unprocessed catalyst to give us another chance to process it differently.

My guess is that when this "stuff" comes up, instead of releasing it with acceptance and love, you may be reinforcing it with additional resentment and unhappiness about it, thereby adding to the pot.

What I have found supremely helpful - and have been advised to do by my guides - is to seek the highest pure Good in the Universe when you meditate, and open yourself up to it. Reach out towards it with your heart, and spend your meditation in that connection. By doing so, you're actually diluting the stored up negativity with pure light.

There are other exercises, but the point I want to make here is the simple, mathematical relation between how we relate to the world, and how we feel inside. Every moment of goodwill - toward anything, does not matter, for all is one - is a moment we add to our joy account. Every moment we do otherwise, we either keep the account neutral or go further into debt. No one is judging us when, by choosing to feel disgust, resentment, hate we make the choice that hurts ourselves - but there are many, many, many souls who love us deeply, and whose one wish and prayer is that we would finally begin choosing to heal ourselves and relieve our suffering instead. They cannot do it for us (free will) but it must be very frustrating for them to see that the solution is ever in our reach, yet we continue choosing not to avail ourselves of it.

[Diana]

Being of service helps me. And it would also help on the STS path. The idea here is to shift the feelings of depression to feelings of love. This would either be love of self, or love of the all (others which includes self, but the focus is on others). By making a conscious commitment to something, one starts the process of acceptance, which in turn lessens the resistance one has to a current situation.

The isolation is something I would recommend you get okay with as far as it is possible. It doesn't mean you have to like it. But it is possible to accept it as what you chose to do here, and feel sad about it whenever that comes up. The main idea is to keep focused on what you have committed to, which derives from the action of making the commitment.

[Diana]

I just wanted to add something about that feeling of isolation. I do something I call hooking into the joy of others. An example is when I am talking to someone who loves football. I don't know anything about football nor do I enjoy watching it at all. But if I am talking to someone who loves it, I hook into their love of it. I encourage them to tell me about it and I feel their happiness. I don't do this because I am humoring them, I do do it because of so many things. I respect their loves; I want to share their joy; I want to jump over my own dislike of something to experience a feeling of love for it; and so on. 

In doing this, the feeling of isolation changes. It does not become a feeling a "fitting in," but it becomes a feeling of connection and acceptance.

[Matt1]

Thanks for sharing your feelings. I do not believe i can say anything that you are not already aware of, i simply wish you well on your journey and have faith that you keep seeking towards that source that we are all a part of together.

Much love.

[Nowheretoday]

How bad is the feeling of isolation for you?

It has been very weird lately, emotions go from one to the other very strong, I could burst into tears if the right thought sets it, either joy or sadness.
Isolation has always been there, I have a close family and one or two friends, some people have it worse I guess. My feeling of isolation is more mental, spiritual, no one understands, see or feel, maybe I'm just not hanging out with the right people. I don't know, I has always been like that, I can't relate to people and their thinking, the things they care about, what they talk about, always socially disconnected.

I don't think I relate to a sense of madness caused by the LOO, if anything it puts it all into perspective on why things are the way they are, still, not enough, the illusion is strong.

[Night Owl]

So as of today are you having fun or being depressed?

Having fun being depressed better than no experience at all.

I actually think you are on your way. You don't know yet where your way is leading you but you definitly are on right path. Just have faith and practice finding the happiness within your unhappiness. You might wake up one day realizing happiness has completely overtrown unhappiness. That day you will realize you are stronger than you previously thought.

[Nowheretoday]

Have you read this particular transcript? It's wonderfully explained and brings a sense of peace when feeling down. This is the best part but the entire transcript is worth reading

Quo, July 31, 2007 Wrote:Questioner: Do wanderers ever consider the risks they are taking in incarnating? For example, what’s the impact on their social memory complexes and themselves?

...

Thank you so much for this.

[Plenum]

Hi guys,

I'ved edited a couple of posts in this thread (by Jeremy and Nowheretoday) so that only the first couple of paragraphs in the Quotation was included.  It was clear which post was being referenced, but the actual Quote was extremely lengthy (pages and pages of scrolls), so for the sake of usability, the quotes have been cut down.

[The_Tired_Philosopher]

My worldview is actually not so bad, my lifeview is hellish but that's on me since I care way too much about everyone suffering around me.

Worldwide?  Not just hell, but heavenly too which dips into my lifeview.  But beyond these things, I'm generally content with existence, albeit also sick of it.  Hence I love/hate everything about this place, thats the best I got to offer an otherwise immoral universe.  I'm giving what I get.

Gonna see how the Universe likes it then maybe make a cosmic case for cosmic suicide if this is how its naturally run.  If its not, I'll probably lay down a case for the cosmos...to reconsider 3D design.

Though I'm also starting to see that Reality is of itself different/similar for everyone just like the Laws of Physics vary from Solar System to Solar System.

So when you use words like inertia, it tickles me because that's a fear generating word of itself if you dislike 3D and understand the Ra Material enough to know its like the cell to 3D prison/education systems and that makes Forgiveness the key.

So I accept and forgive but continue to worry about the infinite endless souls coming here to be.

Well, lets not beat around the Bush.  I'm only looking at some of the darker horrors of this place.  I cite The Holocaust as only one smaller horror to our History's collective.  I cite things like Fukushima's grossly disgusting manner of being handled.

I worry for those to come and those who already were so violently twisted by this place they lost themselves.  Consider my caring and hatred for the universe by products of empathy.  I can feel people.

I don't feel anything from the cosmos, thats similar to how I don't feel indifferent people in my mind, A.  B, I can debunk a caring universe for a methodic one. C, that means I need to find my own way.

But otherwise, Humanity is coming along and that makes me feel fuzzy and happy inside but then I remember my Pacific Ocean, and ALL MY BEACHES, MY BEACHES NUUUUUU

are also dead.  Half the world is still drying up for profit. And I'm not going to put on my happy glitter sparkles and look at that f***** mess and love it.  Loving radiation won't fix it any different than loving a real demon is a good way to get hurt if its a mean kind and not a nice kind.

My post was for people who lose their minds from the Ra Material.  I see some switch polarity in haste and confusion as they go through psychotic states of mind, so I thought the words were needed...

I was obviously wrong, but I don't feel misery from myself Jeremy, I feel sadness for others, for their sorrow and pain.  Thank you for the aid, I'll try it out but I'm otherwise just familiar with darkness in a non...chaotic way, but more shining light on darkness then accepting the infinite dreadful black bleakness of it so it'll see that of itself its not dreadful or bleak, just illusions of suffering.

I don't suffer much.  I'm comfortably numb to the suffering.

Not by loneliness though.  I'll always suffer from that, its the only suffering I need to feel sadness.  It doesn't make my hell though, how I handle it does.

But as I said.  I'm doing it for a reason.  I'm unhappy with the perceived design I'm seeing, Universe doesn't seem to care so I'm letting it feel its self.

I'm like a mirror in a mirror mirroring the mirror back to itself.

Cause I'm weird like that but it works.  Catalyst has slowed, I'm able to make a choice without having 5 seconds to do so.  I choose to be mean sometimes to mean people, doesn't make anything better.  That's my point.

The Universe teaches with painful catalyst.  Causes pain which causes more pain.  Suffering is typically 'enjoyed' during this time too.

Seems backwards and I'm making it known personally.  I do not accept such skewed catalyst.  If it comes, I ignore it profusely then erupt in fury at it to silence the pain (works great for my stupid stomach aches daily). Typically, now such doesn't happen because I spit at the Universe in fury at its own indifference but movement towards me.

Then I love it as it comes back (or by myself feel infinite levels of dissatisfaction with hellish life), rinse and repeat.

I bargain with the universe.  I do not identify as JUST  a soul but a highly abused species, called Human.  And this ego or whatever people call it loves me, because I listened instead of silencing it for love.  There is suffering.

I don't ignore it.  I think that's cruel.  I look at it, and my eyes water but I don't look away except to wipe my eyes.  Humanity, if it had a say as a collective individual.

Do you think Humanity would forgive the universe for spawning them then using them so absently?

I think under conditions, yes.  Otherwise, no.  Just no.  You don't piss and s*** on a species' being then turn around and act higher teaching them to forgive and love themselves and the entities who made them that way!  That's akin to a Christian God, and much offense to Yahweh, but I'm pretty sure a lot of people would reject aliens of the sort the same way they reject God.

So.  I get it.  I like it.  Not falling for it.  See the good in it.  And bad.  Stepped back said screw the left and the right.  They are the exact same thing.

I know it messes with people.  How do you think I feel being this way?  I'm completely alone.  Completely.  I don't Think anyone would understand me even If I explained myself lol...

But I love.  I hate, but I hate suffering and cruelty and severe pain.  I love kindness, caring, consideration, empathy, life...  I love a lot more than I hate, but this place.  Its had much suffering and madness poured into it.

I'll be a sponge.  I'm not doing anything else
And in time it all becomes lighter in me.  I can look at rape vs I couldn't before.  Darkness isn't what I wanted to deal with but its here.  Can't just notice it then be like lolkay-notMyJobLOL.

...-checks my store-
I can't believe I typed all this uninterrupted.  Yay small miracles!

I'm broody and dark right now.  But I promise I am listening and considering.

I just want people to stop looking away from darkness.  If we all did something about it together. . .
But I'm only One.  And One despite being composed of Many, is still just One compared to many.  One atom doesn't change the entire Universe. Many of that One atom do.

My life is a waiting game for those around me to awaken.

My only true fear in life anymore, is that they never will.

Nowheretoday, I think you're handling it all much better than I

Diana, your term I once called the Upward Spiral Effect.  See Happiness, grab on (you say hook in) and enjoy it, find more happiness while happy, creates the USE occurrence.  Upward Spiral Effect occurrence.

Its like depression inversed.

[Jeremy]

Please don't take offense to this but have you read the entire Law of One series? If so, I'd highly recommend reading it again with a more opened heart and mind.

The reason I say this is because you seem to blame the universe, logos, or Creator for all the wrong doings of society when no such blame can be made. They are simply the board that which we all play upon. If you wanted to blame something, I guess you could blame the Creator for giving us free will but that's still silly in my eyes.

We all chose to be here. We all yearned to be here to learn these intense lessons for whatever reasons each entity had. The other selves here are responsible for their actions and behaviors. To place blame upon an external force is frankly a bit immature. I could quote the all is one stuff but that doesn't do anything. I know it's tough to ignore all the horrible stuff that happens here and I'm not asking you to. If you hear the call of those less fortunate then by all means take action. If one identifies with the downtrodden yet realizes ones path is not of this fight, that's all well and good also. Some are here to fight and some are here simply to love.

Beating yourself up over issues one has no control over is a spiral of discontent and sadness. Hopefully you can find some solace in the illusion so that you can come to accept that everything is moving along exactly as it should.

[Jeremy]

Ohhh listen to this podcast from the L/L Research crew. I'm listening now and it's on point for what you're experiencing.

http://www.podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/...-ep006.mp3

[The_Tired_Philosopher]

-Cough-
I've performed Work in Consciousness to the point I saw Love daily, could interpret incoming catalyst and.

Well.  I think I need to read it again but not for the reasons one might think.

I don't think you understand.  That's okay, most people don't.

I blame People for society being bad, mainly, people who know and do nothing at all, not even try to be nicer or kinder.  People are Creator, yet, shells.  Used by souls, people, souls, creators, incarnated alien souls, creator.

Name it, we design and built and wrecked and are trying to salvage Humanity.

I think I understand my frustrations and the convuluted nature they follow to make sense of a convoluted reality laid out and partially known from personal experience by performing the steps given in the Ra Material.  I feel they're aimed at falsity, as in my reality and that laid out by the Ra Material either vary, or Ra lied.

I'm going on varies, cause so far, Ra doesn't seem much a liar.

Whatever excuses you use to negate my view can be turned back at you.

Our inability to control ourselves isn't an excuse.  Neither is creating it this way on purpose.

Read the books, whats Reality made of?

Does this reflect daily life on Earth from a Human Perspective?  Or does it require something more than human?  Or does it ask for feats that cause.

Iunno.  Psychotic breaks in mental judgment?

Its a stepping stone for me.  I see its a somewhat slippery step.  I will voice this knowledge for others to be aware of.

Why must there be something wrong with my view?  Its very logical to a fault, the average Human cannot prove the Universe loves or cares.  On the contrary, also can't prove 'without a doubt' it doesn't care, except that its indifferent.

Until you hear its all a genetic ET Spiritual board game.
In a place designed to cause hurt in the spiritual metaphysics of catalyst to help teach. -is repeating self now-

Its insanity.  Its, just one thing after another.  Stop, just stop and take a moral judgment, an ethical check if you will.

Society is the way it is because many factors. Including technology.  Who apparently boosted our tech level?  Who's brought us major religions bringing board game Battlefield Spiritual side to life?

Its all mud.  Glooped up when you try to piece it all together.  The picture is bad to me.  In principles, not executed movements.

The way its all been done, happened/ing.
How it all just rounds up to we hurt each other to feel good.  Because we're designed to.

I hold my ground.

I'm not happy with the Creation of 3D, I love it in concept but in execution its cruel in many ways especially with Earth as a focus.  Or I imagine most 3D veiled planets.

And I don't know about anyone else.  But I like to imagine myself in others positions.  Imagine the darkness of this Earth being done to you.  I feel appalled at some of those thoughts, I couldn't fathom the experience.  Thus Ive an issue with innocence being.  Well.  Horrifically treated.  Who does the treating at all stages at all times?

Who am I mad at?  I think my blame is properly placed on those who fulfill the title or identity, Creator.

But Creator isn't just a monster.  Creator is a Lover too.

So I await to see that approach the Monster and kill it with Love.  And by kill I mean change.

Until that day comes.
I'm pretty much here now.  Its coming along.  I'm childish and impatient.  Mostly from profuse sickness and weariness of seeing suffering.

Suffering is everywhere on Earth.  It bugs me, extremely. If it's not of blame then its of shame, that I would believe this was a good place to come to, I feel I'm here to help, not so much learn.

If there's a problem with my views I know its inevitable.  I can shut up, just takes someone telling me to...

[Minyatur]

I think you want to dwell in illusions that you do want to break within your awareness, but perhaps that is part of why most do come to work on themselves in 3D worlds.

If you woke up from a bad dream, would you start blaming mirrors unto yourself from within the dream? the illusionary space and time within which your dream was taking place? or the very foundation of everything that you are which is the Creator?

Your posts could be synthetised to the Creator blaming the Creator for the Creator's experience of Itself. Well maybe you are right and dreaming of being many and being among something alike ourselves with a contrast of being different and separated was a stupid idea from the start. Most in this Creation seem to refer to this idea as Love though.

But then again I guess the ultimate truth is that the One that is all of us did not wish to experience nothing and this is what is not nothing. From there and with the first distortion of free will and the way time is, it is known that all of it is accepted and loved as it is by every strand of experience of the Creator of Itself.

If you want to blame something blame the Creator because there truly is not anything else. From that you can only focus on facets of intelligent infinity and dislike portions of yourself.

[Nowheretoday]

Please don't take offense to this but have you read the entire Law of One series?  If so,  I'd highly recommend reading it again with a more opened heart and mind.

The reason I say this is because you seem to blame the universe,  logos,  or Creator for all the wrong doings of society when no such blame can be made. They are simply the board that which we all play upon. If you wanted to blame something,  I guess you could blame the Creator for giving us free will but that's still silly in my eyes.

We all chose to be here. We all yearned to be here to learn these intense lessons for whatever reasons each entity had. The other selves here are responsible for their actions and behaviors. To place blame upon an external force is frankly a bit immature. I could quote the all is one stuff but that doesn't do anything. I know it's tough to ignore all the horrible stuff that happens here and I'm not asking you to. If you hear the call of those less fortunate then by all means take action.  If one identifies with the downtrodden yet realizes ones path is not of this fight,  that's all well and good also. Some are here to fight and some are here simply to love.

Beating yourself up over issues one has no control over is a spiral of discontent and sadness. Hopefully you can find some solace in the illusion so that you can come to accept that everything is moving along exactly as it should.

I've read one through five two times, going for the third round on book three.
Sometimes the emotions blind me, on my sober time I blame nothing but distortions, and even they are not to blame but free will, and even that is not to blame cause we are just getting to know infinity.
If there was anything to blamed seeing this from the illusion that would be the negative polarity, the veil.
While in the illusion acceptance and love doesn't fix anything, like TTP said.
So much messed up things going on around us and we are supposed to accept and love everything? I guess you're right, I can't beat myself over what I have no control, but I'm part of it, it affects me.

[Jeremy]

That was geared more towards TPP than yourself. But hopefully you also gained something from it

[AnthroHeart]

I feel self-centered, like I take offense easily. I've let myself be punished repeatedly by another. That's not very STO, and it's not STS either.

[Night Owl]

I just wanted to add something about that feeling of isolation. I do something I call hooking into the joy of others. An example is when I am talking to someone who loves football. I don't know anything about football nor do I enjoy watching it at all. But if I am talking to someone who loves it, I hook into their love of it. I encourage them to tell me about it and I feel their happiness. I don't do this because I am humoring them, I do do it because of so many things. I respect their loves; I want to share their joy; I want to jump over my own dislike of something to experience a feeling of love for it; and so on. 

In doing this, the feeling of isolation changes. It does not become a feeling a "fitting in," but it becomes a feeling of connection and acceptance.

I have noticed some people doing that and always thought that was unreachable for me. How do you trigger that on purpose? I always find when someone talks to me about a subject I really have no interest in, I feel like the other person is trying to make a rock become more fluid by watering it and I only feel like a wet rock, but a rock nevertheless. I may at best appear like I'm trying to relate what the other person says to things I know or I will try to learn something out of it. But I feel like although I can respect and encourage their love for it I cannot share it nor their joy about it, which may make them think I just don't care about them while I simply am unable to hook onto their joy. A good exemple is sports. I used to watch hockey some years ago while now I really am unable to find interest in it. But everybody talks about it and I will try to appear like I know stuff but even though I know stuff I don't even care about the stuff I know. When they talk to me about it I'm like: yeah that guy used to be good. How is his season so far? But then I feel completely helpless trying to appear interested. How do you trigger emotional interest on subjects you know you have not in the first place? I find the line between being interested in the human being talking and the subject being talked about so slim I have no power over my reaction to it.

[The_Tired_Philosopher]

But Min.  I desire the experience of nothingness and get it each night I sleep.  With a bonus of dreams.  Love dreams.  Would marry my sleep.  If, you know.  It were personified into a person.  Or...my bed? -Ponders-
Aaa--anyways.

I blame creator but only by extension...  Its hard to explain because people say you can't blame God...but I'm God, and so is she!  And him!  And them!  That pile o' rocks!

So it's immensely faster to say Creator, but ultimately its just me and a select few (not including indifference) who make life harder for me.  Not God but at the same time, also God.  With indifference I can unfairly by my own standards blame way more people than is needed.  Thus those naive I exclude, not born knowing, but those who know and scoff at that knowledge or just don't care are who bother me.  I cut back on meat and dairy, on garbage and overall global consumption.  I tried, and everyone who tries too I am happy with.  Those who just don't care and laugh anger me.  Its like a picture I saw of a sinking boat.  Two people on the left bailing out water frantically.  Two people on the right sitting there laughing at them.

Its painful to watch.

So as I said.  If blame isn't acceptable, then shame is the next block in line.  Shame at my self, my other-selves.

We could be happier, we don't need to be confrontational and cruel.  We can stand our ground and respect its presence and not hurt another for staking out their ground.

Example, My new manager believes herself a boss.  She's sewn discord in all of us by already having fights with us.  My entire store is prepared to quit and leave her on her own.  We don't want to, especially me, I really like this job, but the sheer discomfort of working for such a crude and mean person makes life basically crappy as she disregards our schedules and lives, but regards her own when scheduling.

I accept her, I feel love for that being that makes up her, but she makes such acceptance and love meaningless.  I can't love her into being nice and approachable or accept her to the point her confrontational demeanor fades.

This is escapism to use this philosophy to derail the casual causal effect of 3D life as something operating in a way that it is not.  Love and acceptance change You, not anyone else around you, that only happens by the Law of Radiation (love that law by the way ) affecting only those who are around you a lot, everyone else naturally cannot be effected in the short time spent together.  This was most obvious with my Mom back when I was doing Work in Consciousness.  She got somewhat kinder, nicer, stopped blaming everything on everyone else, started listening to others.  Then by April when I was coming out of my initiation, she quickly fell back into her old ways too.

Its.  Not how I expected things to go.  I want to be helpful but no matter what I do, its more like I'm constantly struggling to maintain a decent life and not become homeless from crap coming to me.

And you can try to stop it, but it keeps on coming.  My view would distort regardless because Love is being cruel.  The appropriate response humanly is to stop caring about love.  Instead I'm justifying why what this is isn't Love as described, but a distortion of it.

My greatest sorrow is in seeing it and being completely unable to voice it because I can't even fathom it.  Because I don't even know and I no longer believe because I don't percieve such,  because I see Love now in my neutrality, because what you call Love I understand is a 'form closest described to unconditional love' but isn't equitable to unconditional love.
Its a bit more, and I'm waiting to see the good.

But it seems the good responds to bad more so than just performs and be's.  I want good to not be so reactive but to come from nowhere.

I want to be the eye of the storm.  With much going on around me connected to me.  I want to wash away the idea that good needs be born in action.  It can exist without action.  It manifests in inaction even.  Being good to others is not an effort, its a desire.

When we stopped desiring it for the comfort it brought seems to be the only reason people waiver.  Because after a point being good gets uncomfortable if you don't set selfish boundaries.

Its why I say, each path is in itself a piece of the other and together they make the only true nonillusion path I've seen...

Service to All.
And even that is a hard path to tread if you try to fulfill percentiles given.  How does the Universe determine a selfish or selfless act? How does it add up?  What's the math look like?
No answers.

So I dropped that too.  To be Harvested is to be not human in a human body.  You can call it transcending, I call it learning to disregard the shell once you try to achieve such without regard to your human identity.  Its mean.  I'm taking my Human with me when I die, showing what's left of my self whatever it wants to see before I fade away.

Its literally...literally...the only thing I can think to do as a sort of apology for incarnating into this life and turning it topsyturvy when all I as a Human wanted was a simple life in a simple home with a family.

Instead, I'm sitting here complixicatedmerbobbing myself in the face against a wall, because I at one point had that, then lost it all.

And now can't seem to get it back.  My son.  My SO of the time.  My apartment.  My car...Literally all I wanted.  A home, a car, a job, a family.  Or no car if close enough to work.  Had it all, lost it all, can't get half of it back.

Or is it still a surprise to some of you that I'm unhappy with myself in ways I've yet to reconcile or 'balance'? Lol.  My path is a winding one.  If you see me treading it on by.  Wish me luck.

I dont remember choosing this and I have no comprehension as to why I would beyond if I'm 6D I'm just here passively giving light/higher vibrations.  And even then.  Why is my life Not going simply?  Where am I going wrong?  What's wrong?

Absolutely nothing.  So why does it feel off?