12-02-2015, 03:48 PM
(12-02-2015, 01:05 PM)Bring4th_Jade Wrote: It makes me sad that you feel that one shouldn't preach blind love and acceptance in the face of fear, but I can understand. But, please don't deny that your decisions would be fear based. You're afraid of something bad might happening, that you might become a victim, which is why you wouldn't help a stranger.
Well I will deny it because you are wrong here (about me). It's not based on fear and I am not a victim. It's a decision (in this theoretical scenario) that I would base on how and whether I would get involved. That decision would derive from logic and intuition, and would take into consideration many things. This would not take me long, as I would just know what to do in a clump of sorts.
I am not fear-free. But I rarely operate from fear. I am very conscious of this in my life. Operating from love does not mean martyrdom to me, in other words, to be of service to others and not to self or an unbalanced version of that. I think there is separation and imbalance in serving others but not self. I don't just help everyone I come across every single time no matter what. For example, friends call or want to get together while I am working (I work for myself) frequently. This is after I tell them over and over and over that I don't deal with personal stuff while I'm working just as they don't at their jobs. They call or text anyway, and most of the time I wait until I'm done working to answer. But if there is a real need, I will drop my work even if I'm on a tight deadline. This is an example of balancing my needs with the needs of others.
I am sure this misunderstanding is my fault. I am not making myself clear. This is happening a lot lately. It's as though I am using an archaic language trying to explain things, and I must find a new language. That sounds a bit melodramatic, but it's the closest I can get to describing the challenge I've been having.
And by the way, I have helped strangers a lot in my life.
(12-02-2015, 01:05 PM)Bring4th_Jade Wrote: But for me to assume the worst of a random stranger who appeared down and out is not "discernment", it's more of a blanket prejudice of those we don't know, or in my situation, prejudice against the homeless/poor, or the assumption that a middle-aged man would be preying on me. Discernment told me that my fears were unfounded in logic and also unfounded when I opened my heart. Discernment also told me that fear was NOT my primary emotion, but that anger towards my unfounded fear was my primary emotion, which has allowed me to begin the long hard work of dismantling this insidious thoughtform.
No one here has said they assume the worst of a random stranger.
You used discernment and made a decision for yourself, so why is someone else's discernment not valid? Please don't tell me my (or other members) discernment is based on prejudice. Are you an activist for factory-farmed animals, freeing them from their cages? I assume you use your discernment with that issue as well, and just because you don't free every animal from suffering does not mean you have a prejudice (in favor of that suffering). Just because I MAY not have helped that person you gave the ride to does not mean I have judged them negatively, it just means I have considered the situation and made a decision based on my own criteria.
I have boundaries and one would be that I wouldn't allow someone to speak to me in a way that seemed too sexual. That DOSE NOT mean I think that man talked to you that way, but based on what you said and what you felt it seemed so. However, if you realized otherwise then it was a breakthrough for you.
My dear Jade, this was your lesson. Projecting it onto us is not helpful.