Kia ora

[Kaaron]

It's March 19 2002, which happens to be my 22nd birthday.
I have some marijuana which I haven't had in 3 years.
After attempting to drive home, I get as far as the main road in and out of town, before I have to pull over cos I'm getting honked at from left and right. It could be cos I'm stopped in the middle of an intersection.
When I finally get to safety, I start thinking about life and the deeper meaning of things.

I started staring into the sun. It was uncomfortable at first but eventually, light started racing out of the sun towards me, creating the feeling of a tunnel or portal. The sun seemed to turn black as the light continued to stream through me.
It was as if time stood still.
I had this feeling that I was connected to an infinite love and wisdom.
Every thought or question had an instant answer, not only that, I'd say it was more of a complete concept as a download that I could break down mentally and understand the individual aspects of the whole, whilst simultaneously retaining a wider view so as to not lose a higher perspective.
I feel like it's an unconditional love.
At some point, I close my eyes and feel the other path being offered.
It feels like something/s jumping on the car roof. Trying to distract me from the path I know I need to walk.
It feels like I'm in a volcano and my car is teetering on the edge of a lone pillar, a sheer drop into oblivion around me...it can all stop...if you open your eyes and go back to sleep.
I don't waver. For hours, I go from epiphany to epiphany.

For a few months following this experience, I had a connection...I'm not sure with who, but the fact that I was staring into the sun might suggest Ra.

I'm interested to get some input from like minds who maybe had a similar experience, or not...everyone is welcome, Kia ora.

[sunnysideup]

Nau mai, Kaaron. That's one fascinating experience you had, I can't say I've experienced anything like that but thank you for sharing story.

[Kaaron]

Nau mai, Kaaron. That's one fascinating experience you had, I can't say I've experienced anything like that but thank you for sharing story.

Thank you for reading my story ☺

[TheJoan]

Thank you for sharing your experience, I do not know if was 'RA' He said the only way to communicate with him is through channeling because He's not in Venus anymore His group soul moved long time ago. I had a similar experience related to the sun. I was 10 or 11 years old and I was playing outside of my house around 11-12, my mother kept asking me why I like to play in the sun and I didn't know how to tell her that the sun was filling my heart with something positive and it felt good. I stopped running around and sat on the ground and I kept feeling it. I started analyzing it and asking myself what is this feeling? I didn't know and I still don't know what It was. It was an amazing experience.

[Plenum]

Greetings to you in NZ Kaaron!

no real thoughts or feedback regards your story.  But thanks for sharing it.

How long have you known about the Ra Material for?

[third-density-being]

Hello Dear Kaaron,

I've never heard nor experienced what You've described regarding "staring at the Sun". I've search a bit in the internet and I've found information about Sun Meditation.
It seems, that You were able to Experience something, that many Other-Selves must train Self to achieve.

All I have Best in me for You

[Kaaron]

Thank you for sharing your experience, I do not know if was 'RA' He said the only way to communicate with him is through channeling because He's not in Venus anymore His group soul moved long time ago. I had a similar experience related to the sun. I was 10 or 11 years old and I was playing outside of my house around 11-12, my mother kept asking me why I like to play in the sun and I didn't know how to tell her that the sun was filling my heart with something positive and it felt good. I stopped running around and sat on the ground and I kept feeling it. I started analyzing it and asking myself what is this feeling? I didn't know and I still don't know what It was. It was an amazing experience.

Yes, that sounds similar to my experience. It could've been my higher self. Although it felt like a family member...kinda like someone I knew but had forgotten about.

How long have you known about the Ra Material for?

I came across it a few months after this experience. I was looking for an explanation of what happened to me for years and people either just looked at me like I was an escaped mental patient, or knew it was special but couldn't give me any idea of what or who it was.

I feel like I should offer some background info on myself.

I was raised Jehovah's Witness so had a programmed wall that would come up whenever occult or esoteric thought were suggested. I was taught there is no afterlife and that all contact with non physical beings was demonic these days cos "God" stopped talking to people after Jesus came to show us the way. Only 144,000 get to go to heaven and the rest can only hope, through hard work and service to the "Lord", to live in paradise on earth forever.
So the whole experience was perspective shifting to say the least. I couldn't feel those feelings and call them evil or from an unloving source.

I've never heard nor experienced what You've described regarding "staring at the Sun". I've search a bit in the internet and I've found information about Sun Meditation.

Thankyou third-density-being...that's EXACTLY it. I had a feeling posting here would be of benefit ☺

[Kaaron]

I feel like i was born into slavery of Orion concepts.
Then this experience freed my mind.
I lived as one guided by love and light for months.
Then I lived the nightmare I foresaw in the vision.
I broke up with my babies mother.
She tried to stop me having contact with my 5 n 3 year old which led to me becoming suicidal and enraged.
Joined a gang and became fully STS.
Lost everything.
Around 2010, started to work on changing my polarity back to STO.
Found my soulmate...had my third child called "Aeon".
Studied Gnosticism as it resonated with me.
I now understand that the conditions of the system and dumbed down humans were created by "the demiurge"...not the entire creation, although nihilist Gnosticism appealed initially, probably due to my negative predisposition.
I feel like I've lived an enforced viewpoint...then enlightened...then dark...now balanced. I'm hoping I've done the full range LMAO...cos let's be honest, I WANNA GO HOME.
I hope this helps illuminate my story and maybe sparks some inspiration.

[Kaaron]

I have a few "stories" lol.

When I was 17, I was staying at a friends. I was on one couch, he was on the other.
As I started to drift off to sleep, I started seeing geometric shapes in my mind and felt a sensation of being pulled toward the ceiling. I was crying and felt like I was unworthy, or somehow being reprimanded.
Next thing, I fall back into my body, sit up and look over at my friend. I see a black, shadowy blanket across him.
I ask if he's ok and he says "yeah but I feel cold". I tell him what I see and he starts freaking out. I tell him to say a prayer n tell it to leave but he tells me to shut up. I can't remember clearly what happened next, but at some point, the shadow raises up off him, turns into the shape of a humanoid and rushes through/into me.
I lie down and go back to sleep.

The next day (yep there's more) we're skating in town n take a breather on a seat. I randomly turn to him and, pointing to a passing car (we're 200 feet from the roadside), I say "that car will park there, two girls will get out and sit on that seat there." Now, there were at least 15 park benches around us but it happened exactly as I said it would.

[Kaaron]

Another time, I was in a dark place and wanted to leave this existence, so I decided to stop breathing lol (not really at the time, but now it seems ridiculous). I lay there for at least 10 minutes. Time stopped. My then partner came in and shook me but I didn't move. She put it down to me being in a "mood" and left me to it. This only reinforced my feeling of being all alone.
I had been getting attacked daily as I've discovered looking back. One time I was walking home and I lay down n started smashing my head on the ground n licking the pavement. Then, when I got home, I open a random book to a random page and it describes exactly what just happened to me.
ANYWAY...I'm lying there and, by this point, panic of no air has left you completely and it's quite hard to pull yourself back from the contrasting peace you feel to a percieved everyday hell. My children, who I've been dealing with the grief of losing through divorce, came into my mind and I forced myself to draw breath.

I honestly feel like i resurrected myself

[TheJoan]

Always be strong you decide what you want to do for the good of others or for yourself and remember when a negative entity attack it means that its attacking a positive entity because what's the point of attacking a negative entity?. I'm glad that you have become aware of the knowledge that you know have. I haven't had the exact experiences as you but I can assure you, you're not alone when you think or perceive some negative feeling or fear, think of Love or think that you're the sun full of Love and Light. I personally hate the feeling of fear that's why I made a promise to myself that every time fear comes that Anger or Love(preferably Love) will come to stop that fear. It hasn't been easy but I've been sleeping better for the past few months. I leave you in the Love and in the Light of the Infinite ONE.

[tamaryn]

Your connection to the Ether and Helium has been downloaded. These are elements five and six.

These are high spiritual energies that you live and breathe and have always been a part of you.


Ether - Positive, North Pole, The inner Sun, Photonic quantum energy, light, love

Heliuim- South pole, Negative, spiritual magnetic attraction, knowledge crystals containing bits of the one creator (thought crystals)

I think you planned this download for a long time, but you finally gloriously expressed it in concrete reality. Your helpers and guides are very happy for you.

Beings of Earth are awakening all around the globe I am so glad you have shared with all of us. Welcome to the b4th!

[Kaaron]

tamaryn thank you. It helps me to feel that someone else understands what I've been through to the extent that you offer specifics. I appreciate this as my heart is blocked (guarded) a lot n I find all the "just love everything" approach doesn't always work when you don't feel open due to perceived past hurt.
I'm working on being open by seeing all as creator/self. It's a process though and navigating the downside of polarity can be hard for an ex-gang member who adopted a philosophy of "invite the darkness and harness it". That control is addictive.
To recognize inception and flip my polarity by conscious choice, is what I've been facing all day everyday for a while now. I feel like I've got a hole team of "little helpers" trying to disguise thoughts as my own. It's constant.

I hope this poem explains the appreciation I have for you tamaryn
I wrote it in 2003.

The key remains

Exist to question
cause circular thought digestion
Expressed in...moments shared, connections made
Through taking reflection's answers...reflection stays
grows...strengthens - penned information ensures locks
on the fleeting gems...otherwise forever lost
Thank others for the key...the reminder, that brings me to this place
others skim read, ignore...perhaps fixed mindset is their fate
Rare glimpses in time, privileged thought - extra features
are the rewards for a concept that sometimes seems leafless
Dead to the sight of those, who struggle with concentration
choose the quick fix of self absorption to love's inebriation
After the struggle that is/that was...all that can remain
are elements of perfection...offered for everyone to gain
Transmuted, lifted...to bring answers through myself
along with outstretched pieces, sitting on time's shelf
Perceive works as a means to translate the way
I thank those who inspire...leave those pointers through the rain
Flanked by withered petals and broken bricks...the greyed canvas
They hold the light of man with soaked hands...bloody bones bandaged
with the tattooed skin removed to expose the plan, jotted stanzas fading
Sometimes over-stood by intended recipients, slotted in when hope is failing
Impressive scars abound but never taken in
Thoughts remain afar...that clever sacred sin

[tamaryn]

Thank you for that poem. I read it on break at work.

All of us have helpers that send us work to process in the surrounding dimensions. This is called emotions, that we call to ourselves all the time. What humans are now receiving is their true reality as a cause and effect energetic chemical interaction with the origin.


They are learning to understand, know and love their mirrored true self in this inverted imaginative reality. This is the work of the chakras: heart center (love), the higher energy centers (blue, violet, knowing, loving truth) and the lower centers ( red, orange, yellow; understanding the creator as self)

Your guides and helpers are preparing you with every step for your personal earth mission. Listen to them and they will tell you anything you can imagine. I give my helpers a name : "muse" so I can jive with them

[Kaaron]

Always be strong you decide what you want to do for the good of others or for yourself and remember when a negative entity attack it means that its attacking a positive entity because what's the point of attacking a negative entity?. I'm glad that you have become aware of the knowledge that you know have. I haven't had the exact experiences as you but I can assure you, you're not alone when you think or perceive some negative feeling or fear, think of Love or think that you're the sun full of Love and Light. I personally hate the feeling of fear that's why I made a promise to myself that every time fear comes that Anger or Love(preferably Love) will come to stop that fear. It hasn't been easy but I've been sleeping better for the past few months. I leave you in the Love and in the Light of the Infinite ONE.

thank you for your words of encouragement Joan. I can see how fear can be uncomfortable, but hating it would only make it worse, wouldn't it? I've found that paying attention to the feeling and where it originates in my mind, helps me to see it for the illusion that it is. So fear is used as a catalyst for growth, instead of a blockage.

[Kaaron]

Thank you for that poem. I read it on break at work.

All of us have helpers that send us work to process in the surrounding dimensions. This is called emotions, that we call to ourselves all the time. What humans are now receiving is their true reality as a cause and effect energetic chemical interaction with the origin.
I was more referring to my negative friends who seem to have a way of seeding thoughts into my head. They use my own insecurities/less desirable traits against me. They take a thought you're likely to have and put their own spin on it to try to get you to dwell on negative aspects of yourself. I catch myself and have found the best form of defense is to stay in a mindset of appreciation for the creator so that the thoughts can't slide in undetected. It can be disheartening when I feel like I keep falling into old ways instead of holding the higher perspective I know I'm capable of.

They are learning to understand, know and love their mirrored true self in this inverted imaginative reality. This is the work of the chakras: heart center (love), the higher energy centers (blue, violet, knowing, loving truth) and the lower centers ( red, orange, yellow; understanding the creator as self)

Your guides and helpers are preparing you with every step for your personal earth mission. Listen to them and they will tell you anything you can imagine. I give my helpers a name :  "muse" so I can jive with them I find it hard to see past my own lack of self esteem. I never feel worthy of anything's help. I always feel alone and don't feel love much.

[tamaryn]

We learn love and wisdom balance here in this odd reality. So its pretty strange learning materials we are given inside.

But yes, the learn/teachings of Discernment.

[Fastidious Emanations]

Welcome!
Still processing catalyst over here, but your renditions trigger memories.

[Kaaron]

Thank you. Glad my experiences are resonating with you. I get that feeling a lot from reading our thoughts here.

[Kaaron]

I'm in a nightclub. There's a south American, almost Gypsy looking lady kind of graciously sweeping around the room. It's as if she's being drawn to an energy in one part of the room momentarily, only to be called to another.
She spots me and approaches. She looks me in the eye, leans in and says "don't worry, they're here, the ship's are here to pick us up" and twirled off on another random inkling.
I think to myself "that was random, but you're a strange dude too so, meh".
About 6am, Me, my partner and a few friends go to the only club open and I see the same lady just randomly meandering around the stage of the club. She had on a white puffy kind of dress and a vest. She had trinkets on like Aztecs or Mayan.
It's not the type of attire you're accustomed to seeing skipping merrily around stripper poles.
I turn to my partner and say "what's up with this girl? I want some of whatever she's on!". She looks up and says "who?"
There's nobody there. I get up n check all around the stage, the other areas but nope, just a random other plane being. She must've noticed I could see her and assumed I was like her is all I could make of her interaction with me.

[Kaaron]

I'm finally getting it! I've found the path.

[Kaaron]

I now know why I didn't fully get it back when I first read the Ra Material.
http://www.spiritofra.com/Ra-section%201.htm

I read THIS.

It isn't the material in order but a compilation of quotes placed in categories.
I feel like I would've had a totally different experience if I had've known more.

Now that I've read all of the Ra Material and remembered who I am, I realize the intro to the crucifixion of esmeralda sweetwater is about us.
As I read that intro, I realized why/who I am and remembered things about my childhood that I had forgotten.
I'm still waking up, as in, I don't have full recollective memory of where I came from, but everytime I think of that intro, things flood to me about why I was so emotional and horrified by how people treated each other as a child.
I remember feeling like I wasn't the same and why.

KIA O-RA

[Ankh]

It's March 19 2002, which happens to be my 22nd birthday.
I have some marijuana which I haven't had in 3 years.
After attempting to drive home, I get as far as the main road in and out of town, before I have to pull over cos I'm getting honked at from left and right. It could be cos I'm stopped in the middle of an intersection.
When I finally get to safety, I start thinking about life and the deeper meaning of things.

I started staring into the sun. It was uncomfortable at first but eventually, light started racing out of the  sun towards me, creating the feeling of a tunnel or portal. The sun seemed to turn black as the light continued to stream through me.
It was as if time stood still.
I had this feeling that I was connected to an infinite love and wisdom.
Every thought or question had an instant answer, not only that, I'd say it was more of a complete concept as a download that I could break down mentally and understand the individual aspects of the whole, whilst simultaneously retaining a wider view so as to not lose a higher perspective.
I feel like it's an unconditional love.
At some point, I close my eyes and feel the other path being offered.
It feels like something/s jumping on the car roof. Trying to distract me from the path I know I need to walk.
It feels like I'm in a volcano and my car is teetering on the edge of a lone pillar, a sheer drop into oblivion around me...it can all stop...if you open your eyes and go back to sleep.
I don't waver. For hours, I go from epiphany to epiphany.

For a few months following this experience, I had a connection...I'm not sure with who, but the fact that I was staring into the sun might suggest Ra.

I'm interested to get some input from like minds who maybe had a similar experience, or not...everyone is welcome, Kia ora.

I don't think that it has to necessarily be Ra, but any entity, including your Higher Self, who had to do with your experience of awakening...

Your experience of the sun reminded me of the Significator of the Spirit in regards to Archetypes, which is the *sun* when people refer to this Archetype not using Ra's naming; and Ra described this Archetype as following:

"The Significator of the Spirit is that living entity which either radiates or absorbs the love and the light of the One Infinite Creator, radiates it to others or absorbs it for the self."

Btw, why the choice of having a name such as Kia O-Ra?

[Kaaron]

I don't think that it has to necessarily be Ra, but any entity, including your Higher Self, who had to do with your experience of awakening...

Your experience of the sun reminded me of the Significator of the Spirit in regards to Archetypes, which is the *sun* when people refer to this Archetype not using Ra's naming; and Ra described this Archetype as following:

"The Significator of the Spirit is that living entity which either radiates or absorbs the love and the light of the One Infinite Creator, radiates it to others or absorbs it for the self."

Btw, why the choice of having a name such as Kia O-Ra?

I've come to some realizations since I posted this. I feel it was my higher self.

There are various meanings to statements or arrangements on verbs depending on context, when dealing with Maori language.
The same word or grouping of words can mean 5 different things, depending on the "level" of conscious communication.

The reason I said kia ora is because in the Maori language, it's a greeting/farewell meaning:
Kia - (particle) be, let be - indicates that it is desirable for something to occur.
Ora - (modifier) healthy, fit, well.

The last use of the term is Kia O-Ra meaning:
Kia - (particle) to, that - to indicate a purpose, wish, or effect. Used in this way if the second verb is passive or a stative, or if the subject of the subordinate clause is different from that of the main clause, i.e. the person, people, thing or things doing the actions in the two parts of the sentence are different.
O - (particle) those of, the ... of.
Ra - Sun god in Maori culture.

[Ankh]

That's so cool! I didn't know that Ra was a sun God in Maori culture too. Does this mean that Ra social memory complex came to this society as well? Or did you mean Ra from Egypt? Ra didn't mention coming to Maori.

Maori language sounds like a very cool language!

[Kaaron]

I haven't found an elder that knows of a physical contact with Ra.
I feel like Maori have had the same issues with elitism that most cultures have. There is a class of Ariki (high born) and Tohunga (priest) who are taught about Io (one infinite creator that exists in the void as unmanifested potential) whereas the common folk were only taught about the "many gods" or manifestations of Io. The truth was only revealed to those deemed worthy.
I believe that we had a visit from Ra. Kahukura warned a man called Ruatapu about a flood to save his people. Kahu means Hawk and Kura, school. Ra is a Hawk headed god in egyptian hieroglyphics. It also means "double arched rainbow" with the upper representing male energy and the lower, female. This could be a reference to the united male/female energy of sixth density.
I feel like at some point we knew the universe as it is. The truth has been distorted somewhat but it's in the different interpretations of words and meanings behind the concepts such as Kia ora and Kahukura. Not to mention Io. Which is pretty much a universal symbol of on/off (I/O) or beginning and end.

[Kaaron]

I was lying awake the other night, when the memory of the Mayan girl in the club, dropped into my head.
I started thinking about the Law of One and how Ra said that they returned to South America.
I realized that I could be one of the ones that graduated and returned to help the rest of us.
Then a warm, tingling sensation filled my body, right down to just above my ankles.

Yesterday my partner told me that her and her mother had gone to see a psychic a few years back.
She was told that she had been here many, many times. She specified that once, was as an Amazonian High Priestess.

I instantly knew that we were those from South America that have returned to help.
Kia ora

[Kaaron]

I'm reading bhagavat gita and I realized what is going on. It's similar to the bible, in Revelation and Ezekiel...the experiences where they are "in the spirit". All the races in one. Arjuna sees everything in the universe at once and realizes it's all one. Enlightenment.
This is what I experienced, to prepare me for what was to come.
I believe this is the same vision that I had on March 19 2002 (19+3=22 2002=22), my 22nd birthday. I believe it has been broadcast from the federation since a loooooong time ago.

Random side note:
I had an elaborate dream, a couple of months after re-discovering the Law of One.
In this dream, I had seen that there were two "teams" and we were in competition. We were standing atop a spiral, metal grilled staircase, on a platform. In the middle of the staircase, was a big blue "suspended animation" type cylinder with blue liquid in it. We had to jump off and begin the descent one of two cables that were spiraling down around the cylinder, like zip lines. Before we jumped, there were masks that look like the masks the riot squad have, with the two little rectangles for eyeholes. After we jumped, the other team cheated and cut their cord to fall first. The masks hit the ground before them and they formed a "mini chamber" filled with the same blue liquid. They fell into it and started transforming into these metal tech warrior bot things that shot bright blue balls of light from their arm cannons. I cut my line as I knew I had to catch up. As I fell, I saw my partners Grandma on the phone to God. I knew it was God straight away but she was saying something untrue about me. I couldn't hear exactly what she was saying but I knew she had the wrong end of the stick. I kept yelling to just tell the truth and stop delaying cos I'm about to fight a war and......then I hit the ground and knew I was in a war that I wasn't fully armed for yet.
Then I woke up and told my partner about it.
Fast forward about a week or so....
My partner comes home, puts "The Final Quest" by Rick Joyner in my hands and says "Poh Poh (Grandma) says to give you this and said that she has been arguing with God for 2 weeks about giving it to you because, although he had mentioned giving you the book, she had felt that you weren't ready for such heavy reading."
Apparently, she had gone to the book case "to find a more suitable book, when Rick's book fell off the shelf."
I obviously dropped everything and read it cover to cover lol.
In it, i discovered this passage:

When we reached the level called "Galatians Two Twenty," we were above the altitude that the vultures could fly. At this level the sky above almost blinded us with its brightness and beauty. I felt peace like I had never felt it before.

Two Twenty instantly jumped out at me.
The scripture says:

20 I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Also, Rick had his visions between the years 1988 and 2002.
I fell asleep early hours of the morning and woke up to the solid jolt of an earthquake.
Just the other day, I was talking to my friend, who's just started reading the Law of One. We were discussing a re-curing dream he kept having. I explained what it meant and then we got onto the topic of my dream with Poh Poh in it. Midway through, I started talking about how I see numbers as signs on digital clocks in the form of double and triple numbers. I told him that they're signs that you can read more deeply into, the more you understand yourself, numbers, densities and the energy system. I looked at the clock and saw 2:22 and told him. He thought it was neat but not as neat as when I realized that it was the 2:22 confirmation and when I got to that point in my story about Ricks book....needless to say, he gets it lol.

[isis]

I'm reading bhagavat gita...

that was a fun read. (not the gita, your post.)
well, the gita too. i love that book.

[OpalE]

Hello.

Regarding the first story in this thread:

I had this feeling that I was connected to an infinite love and wisdom.
Every thought or question had an instant answer, not only that, I'd say it was more of a complete concept as a download that I could break down mentally and understand the individual aspects of the whole, whilst simultaneously retaining a wider view so as to not lose a higher perspective.
I feel like it's an unconditional love.
At some point, I close my eyes and feel the other path being offered.
It feels like something/s jumping on the car roof. Trying to distract me from the path I know I need to walk.
It feels like I'm in a volcano and my car is teetering on the edge of a lone pillar, a sheer drop into oblivion around me...it can all stop...if you open your eyes and go back to sleep.
I don't waver. For hours, I go from epiphany to epiphany.

The "feet on the roof monsters" are very familiar.  They are definitely connected to the state of heightened consciousness you are describing here.  Their sole purpose appears to be to prevent this state by snaring and fixating the attention of whoever is experiencing (or approaching) such heights.

Analyzing them was difficult (and probably -- ultimately -- pointless), but for gits and shiggles, here's where it went:

There seems to be a connection to another concept:  "the dweller on the threshold" found in meditation, etc.  They may even be external manifestations of the exact same force, because their "bodies" seem to be built out of the same stuff as the dweller -- a sort of fluid darkness extremely responsive to thought (they'll take and use any shape your mind or fears throw at them to gain a greater presence).  They don't (usually) seem to have an actual "self" or "identity" other than the one purpose (prevent epiphany and higher states of consciousness).  Best guess:  they exist to keep the collective level of consciousness in this world as low as possible, like prison wardens.  2nd best guess:  they are manifestations of our own fears and inhibitions regarding these heightened states.

Two experiences suggest they have a strong connection to (or are perhaps even native to) worlds we touch in dreams:

1)  for several years, my "OBE's" or "lucid dreams" would all begin the same way:

Falling from an unseen (and apparently infinite height) and landing directly onto the roof of whatever structure the physical body was sleeping in.  Usually, this was a building, but occasionally this was a car.

The first time this happened, the first thought upon waking was of those "distracting beings" walking on the roof.  I realized the "sound" my landing had made was the same sound that signified the presence of those critters.

2)  this one was unusual.

It occurred during a mind-state that was very uncommon for me.  I was perceiving several sets of perception at once, like watching several movies layered over one another.  Each had its own "rules" and internal logic, but i knew while it was happening that they were all alternate descriptions of the same reality:  "this present moment."

A roof-stomper shows up.  It's not the same as the others.  The feeling is more urgent and sentient that the others, but the "flavor" of energy and sense of purpose is identical.  My attention shifts toward the visitor and immediately spawns a flash of knowing / seeing:  This is a man i know from waking life; he is dreaming; he sensed my mind-state on "nightly rounds" and panicked immediately, driven to stop it at all costs.  I projected an image of myself on his "wavelength" and quickly "killed" him, throwing his body off of the roof.

A few minutes later, he was back.  I did the same thing.  This went on for a few hours.  

At the time, I had believed that such visions were more internal interpretations of "real events" that can't be explained except through such metaphors, but my view on this was changed when a friend who knew nothing of this commented on visions she kept having in my apartment of "a pile of corpses outside my window."

I'm in a nightclub. There's a south American, almost Gypsy looking lady kind of graciously sweeping around the room. It's as if she's being drawn to an energy in one part of the room momentarily, only to be called to another.

Your descriptions and interactions with this woman remind me strongly of the mysterious woman in Karla Turner's book about Ted Rice.  He claims she was an alien living in the mountains on this planet.  "Maya" was her name, i think.  I think he also described her as "South American" (though i don't remember that with complete certainty).

I have very mixed feelings about that book.  Something about it feels designed specifically to discredit Karla, and something about Ted rubs me the wrong way (like he's not who or what he says he is) ... but your mystery-woman feels related to his mystery-woman nonetheless.

I feel like I've got a hole team of "little helpers" trying to disguise thoughts as my own. It's constant.

I am 100% certain that our thoughts do not belong to us.  They are a shared thing.  This is clearest in a state of no-mind in an active waking state, the .. ?motions ? pulls/pushes ? connections? (i don't have the right word) that shape thought are easily visible then.  Also from that viewpoint, many negative judgments and thoughts (i.e. "that fat b****," "god, he's stupid," etc.) are revealed from that perspective as radiating (or pulling?) from the person about whom the thoughts are.  I believe they are internalized judgments that help create the person's reality by projecting what they believe is true into the heads of those they interact with.  There are positive ones, too, but the negative ones are more alarming and obvious.

If we actually do have an identity in connection to thoughts, i think it is most visible in the the "center" of any group with which we connect and identify.  Also, the strategy-type thoughts we construct when focusing on solving a problem or carving a path from one thing to another feel more "personal" than most thoughts.


One last note:
222 follows me everywhere.  For years now.  I'd come to interpret it (without really knowing why) as: "where your consciousness is / just was is the correct path."

444 shows up a lot, too, for which i have no interpretation.

I intend to examine the books you mentioned in relation to this.  (thank you for the lead   )


be well.