A stranger no more

[Enyiah]

Wanderer : a person who travels around rather than settling in one place

I'm not especially fond of travelling and would prefer settling in one place. It is surprising that I chose to come to earth as the challenges in this lifetime/place can be daunting.
I am an introvert spending most of my free time alone. I am a learner. This world has been a classroom and I've always had a desire to 'evolve'.
I have faint memories of my pre-incarnative state. It was a state of bliss and Oneness and before coming into this human vehicle I recall saying to myself «I must remember this». Never really 'enjoying' life in the 'world', to me it was boring and I could never bring myself to truly invest in it.

My childhood was not particularly happy. I never bonded with my father who abandonned his family at some point. He did not provide for my sister and I leaving my mother the burden of raising 2 girls on her own. Emotionally I was unable to survive in this chaos and basically felt totally LOST.

I met my ex-husband when I was 14 years old. It felt like I already knew him. He was my first love and we were married 2 weeks before my 18[sup]th[/sup] birthday. Looking back of course I would say that was way too young for a serious commitment! He was a good husband for the most part but for some reason I cannot understand, the relationship did not work out. On some level we may not have been meant for each other, but I always felt that ''he'' was the love of my life. I invested in the marraige with everything I had but it was never enough and I was not happy. I had tried everything and it did not work. I relunctantly felt I had to leave him and go my own way. It was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do.
He eventually re-married with someone whom was introduced to him by my sister. I felt very betrayed and hurt. Deep down in my heart I still loved him so very much and wanted nothing more than to be able to 'work things out'. He meant everything to me. I still love him even though, mostly, I wish I did not because it feels like the un-requited love where all one gets out of it is pain and suffering and the desire for true and deep union is either not permitted or possible. I've always felt too broken by the whole thing that I would not consider re-marraige an option under any circumstance...even if by some miracle ''he'' would come into my life again. The answer would be «no».


I know I am mostly of the STO polarity. It was a conscious choice on my part at some point, mostly because it's ''who'' I am (in this lifetime?). I do STO oriented work as a caregiver for the sick and elderly. It has been challenging in many ways, psychologically and physically. I come into contact with people and situations that make up the sadder part of life; death and dying. I feel blessed to have had the privilege to be of 'service' in this way. I constantly seek to balance the underlying current of giving and receiving part of this type of service. I am looking forward to the day I can retire and have more room for playful leisure time without the responsibilities.


I invested my life energy in the spiritual by reading books and mostly looking within and «feeling» my way through. The following passage is an affirmation of my perceptive viewpoint :
''You, yourselves are meant to discover reality from the inside and to direct your life in this way.'' (page 44) Bringers of the Dawn - Barbara Marciniak

Numerous times I have felt on the verge of physical and psychological collapse. C'mon life is not easy. Little by little now I feel I am gaining solid ground. At times, I can actually feel the «joy» within which I am taking as a very good sign.:-)
The heart chakra is the most developped within me.


I began to take interest in extraterrestrial life only a couple of years ago. This attraction was seeded by a sense of exasperation with regards to life on this planet Earth. Desperate for answers/understanding I began to look into the far-out otherwordly information from whence comes my rendez-vous with the Ra material via the Hidden-Hand dialogues.
As a first-time reader, I cannot attempt to give any kind of review of what I gained/understood.
The Ra material may be helpful in bringing humanity closer to their star origins
Once, in the twinkling of a nano-second the word Pleiades was written in my inner vision. The letters had a fiery look to them but it all happened so fast! I am guessing there is a possibility that they are my 'star' family?!


I do not understand why life has to be so difficult and wearisome for people. It is a formidable task to believe ''we are loved'' when everything points the other way! To know and understand sums up where I am at at the moment. I came here for a reason, the purpose of my being here. My intention is to find that out and grow/learn in every moment.

Namaste

[AnthroHeart]

I am glad you have stuck it out. I agree that life is hard and I sometimes wonder if coming here was worth it. But in the end it will be. We will spiritually evolve. For me, just simply existing is a pain.

[third-density-being]

Hello Dear Enyiah,

Thank You for Sharing. You will be Understood here and appreciated.

Welcome.


All I have Best in me for You

[Enyiah]

If there was a mission I could accomplish  in the world it would be that of healing the pain of/in life.  Unfortunately «pain» is seemingly  a necessary ''evil'' of 3D. 

[third-density-being]

If there was a mission I could accomplish  in the world it would be that of healing the pain of/in life.  Unfortunately «pain» is seemingly  a necessary ''evil'' of 3D.  

Yes, although Ra would call it "necessary catalyst".

33.13

Questioner: What I would like for you to do is list all the major
mechanisms designed to provide catalytic experience that do not include
interaction with other-self. That is the first part.

Ra: I am Ra. We grasp from this question that you realize that the primary
mechanism for catalytic experience in third-density is other-self. The list of
other catalytic influences: firstly, the Creator’s universe; secondly, the self.

Questioner: Can you list any sub-headings under self or ways the self is
acted upon catalytically which would produce experience?

Ra: I am Ra. Firstly, the self unmanifested. Secondly, the self in relation to
the societal self created by self and other-self. Thirdly, the interaction
between self and the gadgets, toys, and amusements of the self, other-self
invention. Fourthly, the self relationship with those attributes which you
may call war and rumors of war.

Questioner: I was thinking possibly of the catalyst of physical pain. Does
this go under this heading?

Ra: I am Ra. This is correct, it going under the heading of the unmanifested
self; that is, the self which does not need other-self in order to manifest or
act.

I cannot say I fully grasp term "spiritual growth" or "spiritual evolution", but as I understand it, via experience in physical reality, by "actualization" of Self within boundaries of this reality, We are enriching Self in ways that are not clear to Us at this time.

“Pain”, while unwanted by most Conscious Beings in third density, is almost always propelling “an Object of it ‘s influence” to act. From such action as alleviating physical pain through behavior modification to profound life-changing / personality-changing influences*.

---

* from pain caused by improper lifestyle to pain caused by Our choices that leads to almost unbearable “inner pain" - caused by harm done to Self / Other-Self.

---

Those at least are my reflections.


All I have Best in me for You

[Minyatur]

I am glad you have stuck it out. I agree that life is hard and I sometimes wonder if coming here was worth it. But in the end it will be. We will spiritually evolve. For me, just simply existing is a pain.

How can it be not worth it, are you not all? Wishing to not live an experience to the Higher Self is running away from Oneness as all experiences are already done by you as your other-selves. There is nothing that is not perfect, there is only Creation which is the One and no space/time nor time/space is an exception to that. There is no lesser moment, there is no lesser entity, there is no lesser feeling or emotion, there is the only One in perfect unity always, even in unawareness of it all.

There is nothing that is not worth it, you live what you need to live as self and other-selves. You are simply one thing among many-things which desired to be among many-things.

[I_Am_The_One]

I am glad you have stuck it out. I agree that life is hard and I sometimes wonder if coming here was worth it. But in the end it will be. We will spiritually evolve. For me, just simply existing is a pain.

How can it be not worth it, are you not all? Wishing to not live an experience to the Higher Self is running away from Oneness as all experiences are already done by you as your other-selves. There is nothing that is not perfect, there is only Creation which is the One and no space/time nor time/space is an exception to that. There is no lesser moment, there is no lesser entity, there is no lesser feeling or emotion, there is the only One in perfect unity always, even in unawareness of it all.

There is nothing that is not worth it, you live what you need to live as self and other-selves. You are simply one thing among many-things which desired to be among many-things.

Yes we walk in light and love everyday. No lesser moment, no lesser emotion, no lesser entity. All is love, Love is all. I fully believe in love. I struggle sometimes myself, but I try to walk in light and love everyday. It truly is a wonderful place. I love all of you! The creator is here. Realize it. I know im trying to.

[I_Am_The_One]

Wanderer : a person who travels around rather than settling in one place

I'm not especially fond of travelling and would prefer settling in one place. It is surprising that I chose to come to earth as the challenges in this lifetime/place can be daunting.
I am an introvert spending most of my free time alone. I am a learner. This world has been a classroom and I've always had a desire to 'evolve'.
I have faint memories of my pre-incarnative state. It was a state of bliss and Oneness and before coming into this human vehicle I recall saying to myself «I must remember this». Never really 'enjoying' life in the 'world', to me it was boring and I could never bring myself to truly invest in it.

My childhood was not particularly happy. I never bonded with my father who abandonned his family at some point. He did not provide for my sister and I leaving my mother the burden of raising 2 girls on her own. Emotionally I was unable to survive in this chaos and basically felt totally LOST.

I met my ex-husband when I was 14 years old. It felt like I already knew him. He was my first love and we were married 2 weeks before my 18[sup]th[/sup] birthday. Looking back of course I would say that was way too young for a serious commitment! He was a good husband for the most part but for some reason I cannot understand, the relationship did not work out. On some level we may not have been meant for each other, but I always felt that ''he'' was the love of my life. I invested in the marraige with everything I had but it was never enough and I was not happy. I had tried everything and it did not work. I relunctantly felt I had to leave him and go my own way. It was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do.
He eventually re-married with someone whom was introduced to him by my sister. I felt very betrayed and hurt. Deep down in my heart I still loved him so very much and wanted nothing more than to be able to 'work things out'. He meant everything to me. I still love him even though, mostly, I wish I did not because it feels like the un-requited love where all one gets out of it is pain and suffering and the desire for true and deep union is either not permitted or possible. I've always felt too broken by the whole thing that I would not consider re-marraige an option under any circumstance...even if by some miracle ''he'' would come into my life again. The answer would be «no».


I know I am mostly of the STO polarity. It was a conscious choice on my part at some point, mostly because it's ''who'' I am (in this lifetime?). I do STO oriented work as a caregiver for the sick and elderly. It has been challenging in many ways, psychologically and physically. I come into contact with people and situations that make up the sadder part of life; death and dying. I feel blessed to have had the privilege to be of 'service' in this way. I constantly seek to balance the underlying current of giving and receiving part of this type of service. I am looking forward to the day I can retire and have more room for playful leisure time without the responsibilities.


I invested my life energy in the spiritual by reading books and mostly looking within and «feeling» my way through. The following passage is an affirmation of my perceptive viewpoint :
''You, yourselves are meant to discover reality from the inside and to direct your life in this way.'' (page 44) Bringers of the Dawn - Barbara Marciniak

Numerous times I have felt on the verge of physical and psychological collapse. C'mon life is not easy. Little by little now I feel I am gaining solid ground. At times, I can actually feel the «joy» within which I am taking as a very good sign.:-)
The heart chakra is the most developped within me.


I began to take interest in extraterrestrial life only a couple of years ago. This attraction was seeded by a sense of exasperation with regards to life on this planet Earth. Desperate for answers/understanding I began to look into the far-out otherwordly information from whence comes my rendez-vous with the Ra material via the Hidden-Hand dialogues.
As a first-time reader, I cannot attempt to give any kind of review of what I gained/understood.
The Ra material may be helpful in bringing humanity closer to their star origins
Once, in the twinkling of a nano-second the word Pleiades was written in my inner vision. The letters had a fiery look to them but it all happened so fast! I am guessing there is a possibility that they are my 'star' family?!


I do not understand why life has to be so difficult and wearisome for people. It is a formidable task to believe ''we are loved'' when everything points the other way! To know and understand sums up where I am at at the moment. I came here for a reason, the purpose of my being here. My intention is to find that out and grow/learn in every moment.

Namaste

Hello Enyiah I can feel your energy. You are beautiful. I am sorry about your ex-husband. Sounds like you dearly loved him. My story resonates much with your own, I have found myself on the very brink of physical, spiritual, and mental collapse. I know it is a rough place to learn, grow, and love. I feel so weary sometimes, but then love comes back to me, and I will never give in. I will love till the very day I die. It has been rough, but I have learned much. My most developed chakra is my pineal gland, followed closely by my lower three. I fully believe I came here to learn love, and communication. As my throat and my heart chakra are my weakest, and my whole life is based around these two main lessons. I send love to you, we can do this together. We are one. WE are love enyiah.

[Shemaya]

Thank you for sharing, Enyiah

You are a beautiful heart and soul.  Keep strengthening your connection to your pre-incarnate beingness.  As that becomes stronger, you will know that despite any and all circumstances, you are the source of love, peace, contentment, compassion, and truth.