awakened skeptic?!

[crownedhead]

hi wanderers

i, like lots of us, was a vehement atheist for many years (i'm 24 now). i had no problem with thinking i was a blob of matter, with nothing to expect after death except blackness. at 21, i had a philosophy teacher who told me i was "awake" (and an "eagle among chickens"..lol) and somehow, being in his presence and participating in his class, i started becoming very open minded. i became curious about "the holographic universe", quantum physics and soul stuff. i still didn't really think any of it was 100% the real truth, i was just suddenly able to realize that i really didn't KNOW anything, so atheism was rather fruitless. i turned into more of an agnostic. i didn't (and still don't) think anything was "true" per se. i just felt open to every possibility.

anyways, this year i had an OBE after ingesting a s*** ton of DXM (dissociative - like ketamine) and i went into outer space, to a red star nebula, to saturn, to a grid positioned over earth.. etc. i became "not human" and i thought i was dead. when i was on that grid over earth i encountered two entities and communicated with them that i absolutely couldn't die because i had a lot of work to do still. it felt very natural to me, this "death" experience..

i started freaking out when i came back to my body (a body which i did not recognize when i saw it lying in bed) and having a lot of trouble understanding what "reality" was. i struggled with this for months. pretty typical right?

anyways, after all that happened, about 5 different people suddenly appeared in my life with some sort of metaphysical power. one after the other. a guy who could "feel" my energy and made me have my first "energy dance" (ever communicate using the fire that is energy? its nuts!) a girl who could access the akashic records, a boy who could read palms with insane accuracy, etc etc. i also met old woman "psychic" who told me i was an "awakened starseed" which i guess is a lot like a wanderer, except i guess it's souls from stars who come here during the harvest to help out and raise the vibrations? blah blah blah.

just weird they all started popping into my life out of nowhere, like they had been waiting for me to come show me these mind blowing possibilities.

anyways, i know i'm "different". but don't most people feel alienated and different? i am totally baffled by humanity and i feel like i'm hyper aware and perceptive, but doesn't everyone feel like that? i was a "gifted" little girl. i was really into buddhism when i was 15 and experienced what i thought was enlightenment through fasting, feeling "one" with everything and so forth. i even had an accidental OBE where i floated over to the lamp and watched myself on the bed.

i don't know. i definitely feel like this could be a real possibility, but i just question the s*** out of everything. i really have no set standard of beliefs in anything other than to be "good". i want to be good despite a "harvest" or any kind of reward.

does anyone else feel like this? am i a fake wanderer because i don't *fully believe* i am one?

just going off of what Ra calls a "wanderer":

"Wanderers have as a general rule some form of handicap, difficulty, or feeling of alienation which is severe. The most common of these difficulties are alienation, the reaction against the planetary vibration by personality disorders, as you would call them, and body complex ailments indicating difficulty in adjustment to the planetary vibrations such as allergies, as you would call them."

well, i had an obvious jaw deformity until last year when i had surgery to correct it. i had a bad life threatening illness this year that made me sick for months, just now getting over it. alienation, sure. but i chalked that up to being "gifted". i've also had allergies and sinus problems my whole life.

i'm not sure what my point is in posting this, lol. just saying hi i guess. i'm wondering if anyone else is as unsure as i am, or if everyone just KNOWS they're a wanderer.

thx for reading!

[zack231]

Welcome! I can relate and I believe you are definitely a wanderer. The way spirituality has kept popping up in your life, with you getting into buddism for a while then becoming atheist, then discovering how science is beginning to prove that what we call reality is an illusion. Then ultimately discovering the Law of One. It seems as though you were only "atheist" to the organised religion of this world which is highly distorted and deluded. I think your true self knew there was something more thus it kept repeating in your life until you finally awakened, you could not accept the misguided religions of this world. I can definetly relate I was baptized a catholic but throughout life began to question religion for a lot did not make sense, I began searching and some how stumbled upon the Law of One and that is when I instantly changed for ever, it resonated deeply with me. And i know how you feel about the alienation i can't believe how crazy the world seems now, that what comes with an expanded consciousness you no longer see things at that lower level of vibration as most people do. Your perception is now expanded and you can never go back and can never see the world the same again. You just have to try and be of service to others as Much as possible, try and awaken others who can be and respect those who can't. For they are all the creator or intelligent infinity or what ever you want to call it they are all you for there is only one consciousness. Any way good to see another awakened person and the joy that it brings.Peace man!


Also I think you might like this just shows how science is catching up and discovering that we really are all one and that our reality is just an illusion, the only real thing being consciousness.

It is an amazing interview with a Quantum physicist
Part 1


Part 2:


This is also very good proving what with think of reality is just an illusion.

[video=googlevideo]http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1406370011028154810[/video]

[Namaste]

That OBE sounds fantastic :¬)

A belief system should only empower your core thoughts. Hence...

i really have no set standard of beliefs in anything other than to be "good". i want to be good despite a "harvest" or any kind of reward.

... is all that matters. If you live a life of love, helping others, then it's a life well lived :¬)

[Oceania]

most people aren't hypersensitive.

i've never been atheist. i dunno how anyone can be really. but oh well.

[Ruth]

crownedhead

Welcome! And thank you for sharing your story so far. I agree with Namaste that you don't need to have a set standard of beliefs other than what you find inside yourself. Like Oceania, I've never been an atheist, but I have had similar experiences of meeting just the right people at just the right time to help me move further along my chosen path in life.

I hope you'll feel at home here!

Love and light!

[Namaste]

most people aren't hypersensitive.

i've never been atheist. i dunno how anyone can be really. but oh well.

From my experience, it's mainly because of religion. Those who oppose it often go for the antithesis - i.e. life is just random (Darwinian mindset).

[Oceania]

it's just rebellion.

[Conifer16]

I used to think that I was an "atheist" but then I realized that an atheist is someone who doesn't believe in life after death or psychic abilities or a creator being, and I came to the understanding that I put myself into the mold of atheist because I disagreed with every religion out there and the atheist seemed to believe the same. But I have always underneath it all felt that there was more to life, that I would go on after "death" and that there is a creator being(inteligent energy IMO) and so can no longer honestly call myself an atheist. And I also feel baffled at the antics of humanity, I can see now that so many of the problems people face are because of the way they act towards eachother and I has trouble understanding why they act the way they do and also "wish"(I.e do nothing) for a better life. So I have decided that I will not embrace human drama but rather observe it and when I can step in to diffuse a situation or help someone who needs it. But stay for the most part out of it. And welcome Crownedhead
-Conifer16- Adonai Vasu Borragus

[kycahi]

Thanks for the post, Crowned. For a very long time, I so admired the heroism (and/or foolishness!) of Wanderers that I would not entertain the thought that I was one. Now I just determined that I would live as though I am, and so what I think doesn't matter. I do suffer enough personal affliction to qualify me that way.

If anybody followed my behavior, they might assume that I am atheist because I hold nothing that is common with religions as sacred. I will make a joke about Jesus or God if I think it's funny enough. That aside, I strive to live in harmony with the Law and work to increase my STO polarity.

I suffer from depressive disorder, yet now I know to be grateful for this space/time opportunity, and that helps quite a lot. :exclamation: :idea:

[zack231]

most people aren't hypersensitive.

i've never been atheist. i dunno how anyone can be really. but oh well.

Agreed i have never been an atheist as I believe it impossible that everything is random if that were true the universe never come.into being. Even science is saying its far to complex to be random thus I always felt sorry for atheists and would always pose that question them of the universe most just say nothing lol. I dis question religion though and knew there was something.much more.something missing thus i eventually found the Law of One and it instantly resonated with me! i.agree I really sorry for atheist must be sad to be but alas people may choose not to seak but they will inevitably find the truth one day

[Oceania]

i've always felt the soul is real and it would be nuts if i was a bag of meat. sleep, thoughts and heart are all "supernatural" yet atheists accept their reality.

[crownedhead]

it's [atheism] just rebellion.

[...]

sleep, thoughts and heart are all "supernatural" yet atheists accept their reality.

uh, what? i wasn't trying to be cool by not believing in "a god". it just didn't resonate with me at all. i hadn't thought souls existed. i did think psychic stuff was legit, because i'd had several premonitions - dreams which would come true the exact same day. but i didn't "for sure" believe in any one thing, and still don't. i just like to explore every possibility.

also, atheists believe in sleep, thoughts and heart. there is science behind all of that. science for how the brain works, why we sleep and what happens during it, and "heart" being emotions/love/etc. lol, what are you even talking about? and i don't know why you brought up being hypersensitive.

anyways..

thanks for your replies.

[3DMonkey]

hi wanderers

i, like lots of us, was a vehement atheist for many years (i'm 24 now). i had no problem with thinking i was a blob of matter, with nothing to expect after death except blackness. at 21, i had a philosophy teacher who told me i was "awake" (and an "eagle among chickens"..lol) and somehow, being in his presence and participating in his class, i started becoming very open minded. i became curious about "the holographic universe", quantum physics and soul stuff. i still didn't really think any of it was 100% the real truth, i was just suddenly able to realize that i really didn't KNOW anything, so atheism was rather fruitless. i turned into more of an agnostic. i didn't (and still don't) think anything was "true" per se. i just felt open to every possibility.

anyways, this year i had an OBE after ingesting a $hit ton of DXM (dissociative - like ketamine) and i went into outer space, to a red star nebula, to saturn, to a grid positioned over earth.. etc. i became "not human" and i thought i was dead. when i was on that grid over earth i encountered two entities and communicated with them that i absolutely couldn't die because i had a lot of work to do still. it felt very natural to me, this "death" experience..

i started freaking out when i came back to my body (a body which i did not recognize when i saw it lying in bed) and having a lot of trouble understanding what "reality" was. i struggled with this for months. pretty typical right?

anyways, after all that happened, about 5 different people suddenly appeared in my life with some sort of metaphysical power. one after the other. a guy who could "feel" my energy and made me have my first "energy dance" (ever communicate using the fire that is energy? its nuts!) a girl who could access the akashic records, a boy who could read palms with insane accuracy, etc etc. i also met old woman "psychic" who told me i was an "awakened starseed" which i guess is a lot like a wanderer, except i guess it's souls from stars who come here during the harvest to help out and raise the vibrations? blah blah blah.

just weird they all started popping into my life out of nowhere, like they had been waiting for me to come show me these mind blowing possibilities.

anyways, i know i'm "different". but don't most people feel alienated and different? i am totally baffled by humanity and i feel like i'm hyper aware and perceptive, but doesn't everyone feel like that? i was a "gifted" little girl. i was really into buddhism when i was 15 and experienced what i thought was enlightenment through fasting, feeling "one" with everything and so forth. i even had an accidental OBE where i floated over to the lamp and watched myself on the bed.

i don't know. i definitely feel like this could be a real possibility, but i just question the $hit out of everything. i really have no set standard of beliefs in anything other than to be "good". i want to be good despite a "harvest" or any kind of reward.

does anyone else feel like this? am i a fake wanderer because i don't *fully believe* i am one?

just going off of what Ra calls a "wanderer":

"Wanderers have as a general rule some form of handicap, difficulty, or feeling of alienation which is severe. The most common of these difficulties are alienation, the reaction against the planetary vibration by personality disorders, as you would call them, and body complex ailments indicating difficulty in adjustment to the planetary vibrations such as allergies, as you would call them."

well, i had an obvious jaw deformity until last year when i had surgery to correct it. i had a bad life threatening illness this year that made me sick for months, just now getting over it. alienation, sure. but i chalked that up to being "gifted". i've also had allergies and sinus problems my whole life.

i'm not sure what my point is in posting this, lol. just saying hi i guess. i'm wondering if anyone else is as unsure as i am, or if everyone just KNOWS they're a wanderer.

thx for reading!

I am definitely unsure.

I was the opposite of you. I believed whole heartedly. My journey seems to have led me to the same location.

Dissociative OBE. Feeling different. Feeling alienated. A few positive confirmations from others. This all sounds like the same ol' story. It's human. That's where I am at. It's just your typical human experience.

Sounds like you've had some fun times and met some interesting people. Enjoy it.

[Oceania]

who said anything about coolness? i meant rebellion against religion. i also mentioned hypersensitivity cuz you did. imo most people aren't. i am.

as for atheism, if you believe you're a meat bag, then how can you believe in hearts and souls? how can you believe in psychic stuff? even god has a scientific explanation, science studies what is. heart, soul and psychic stuff is god level stuff, not meat stuff.

---

i was just commenting on stuff, not talking about you specifically.

[crownedhead]

who said anything about coolness? i meant rebellion against religion. i also mentioned hypersensitivity cuz you did. imo most people aren't. i am.

as for atheism, if you believe you're a meat bag, then how can you believe in hearts and souls? how can you believe in psychic stuff? even god has a scientific explanation, science studies what is. heart, soul and psychic stuff is god level stuff, not meat stuff.

---

i was just commenting on stuff, not talking about you specifically.

i said hyper aware and hyper perceptive. i suppose you could classify that as "hyper sensitive" but that isn't what i meant. i am very sensitive to things though ;]

as an atheist, i'd believed in collective consciousness. i couldn't explain psychic phenomena. it was one of those things that was happening right in front of my face but i still didn't believe it. i just cycled through periods of complete nihilism and depression and hatred. now i'm doing lots better.

[Bring4th_Steve]

Thanks for sharing your story, CrownedHead! One of the cool things about Bring4th is that we are all over the board in terms of our upbringings and beliefs. Yet most of us will admit to sharing a common goal to identify and associate with concepts like Love and Understanding and Oneness, which are the underlying themes of the next age we are entering into.

As you can see from other Wanderer stories, many of us had varied experiences growing up which, I feel, is a major contributor towards how quickly one wakes up. You were curious if any of us had that feeling of not really knowing how to self-identify, particularly about being a Wanderer. Personally, I cannot associate with the term "Wanderer". I never had any problems socializing, I was always lucky enough to find times and places that felt natural to my unfolding life. I'd say the closest I came to feeling isolated is when I joined Facebook for the first time and realized that NONE of my "friends" were the type I could talk to in a spiritual way! It was one of those moments where I felt like, "Why the hell are so many people sleeping or utterly silent about anything metaphysical or spiritual?" I even got nervous about posting anything spiritual or progressive to avoid being labeled. I have always loved life and the Earth despite my ups and downs, so it has been difficult to consider myself a Wanderer in the way that it is typically defined. But apparently many of us are indeed wanderers, indigos and starseeds, soooo.... I guess I'm just in a mode of trying to live in "love" the best I can from moment to moment and hope that it's good enough to keep the heart center open for an awesome graduation/ascension experience.

Have you gotten through the whole Law of One series yet?

Hope you like it here. Welcome!
Steve

[3DMonkey]

I'd say the closest I came to feeling isolated is when I joined Facebook for the first time and realized that NONE of my "friends" were the type I could talk to in a spiritual way! It was one of those moments where I felt like, "Why the hell are so many people sleeping or utterly silent about anything metaphysical or spiritual?" I even got nervous about posting anything spiritual or progressive to avoid being labeled.

That's me too. That sums it up. Except for nervous about saying anything. I'm obviously not shy from receiving labels

[Parsons]

hi wanderers

i, like lots of us, was a vehement atheist for many years[...]

i don't know. i definitely feel like this could be a real possibility, but i just question the $hit out of everything. i really have no set standard of beliefs in anything other than to be "good". i want to be good despite a "harvest" or any kind of reward.

does anyone else feel like this? am i a fake wanderer because i don't *fully believe* i am one?

just going off of what Ra calls a "wanderer":

"Wanderers have as a general rule some form of handicap, difficulty, or feeling of alienation which is severe. The most common of these difficulties are alienation, the reaction against the planetary vibration by personality disorders, as you would call them, and body complex ailments indicating difficulty in adjustment to the planetary vibrations such as allergies, as you would call them."

i'm not sure what my point is in posting this, lol. just saying hi i guess. i'm wondering if anyone else is as unsure as i am, or if everyone just KNOWS they're a wanderer.

I have felt this way my entire life. I, like you, was wavering and unsure of all this... That is, before I read what you wrote. That was the "last straw" for me I think... I can no longer ignore the convergence that is going on in the way I lived my life and philosophies that I have been coming up with recently just before I read them in the Ra material. (which I have not quite yet completed... session 88ish I think).

Thank you... since I can co-miserate in problems of alienation, etc. I have felt entirely alone my whole life until I found this forum... Now I have potential to finally not feel so alone in regards to everyday life philosophy. =OD

[kycahi]

Thank you... since I can co-miserate in problems of alienation, etc. I have felt entirely alone my whole life until I found this forum... Now I have potential to finally not feel so alone in regards to everyday life philosophy. =OD

I jumped at your words above, Duncan. All of us can take personal strength from our resonance with the LOO and each other. As we are in tune with such powerful words/thoughts and such terrific people, we have no excuse to avoid stretching wings and flying whole-hardheartedly into this density to kick the posteriors of those not Choosing, and showing with deeds how to live in Service To Whichever.

[Parsons]

i've always felt the soul is real and it would be nuts if i was a bag of meat. sleep, thoughts and heart are all "supernatural" yet atheists accept their reality.

Meatbag? I prefer:

[C-JEAN]

hi wanderers

Hi and welcome !

. . .I really have no set standard of beliefs in anything other than to be "good". i want to be good despite a "harvest" or any kind of reward.

That is quite the same as I think and live !! B-)
I don't want the mind control of religions and similars.

Now. . .I answered to you because I just want to tell you :
You MUST make the effort to buy or rent the 3 DVDs of:
"What the BLEEP do we know!? down the rabbit hole.".

That film CHANGED my WHOLE life ! ! !
This is the film that got me to "The Ra material" ! !

My brother watched it 10 TIMES !
I watched it 6 TIMES! from his 3 VDVs, and NOW,
I have bought the 3 DVD kit, and REwatch it again and again ! !

My signature tells it all !! B-)

Blue skies.

[godwide_void]

Awesome story crownedhead! Your cosmic DXM-induced OOBE sounds epic and the many spiritual catalysts/synchronicities that popped up in your life were definitely placed there to help transition your mind into the state of awakening with better ease.

[BlatzAdict]

ummm... i recommend reading LOO books 1-5

or is it 1-4 XD

[fr33d0m]

Thanks for posting your story. I feel happier having read it. Since you asked, I am not sure about my wanderer status. It does not affect my desire to serve, so it is fine either way. Love and Light to you.