The Spiritual Use of Entheogens

[MisterRabbit]

Well, I know that this is a somewhat taboo subject with some of the people that run this website. But, I see it as perfectly valid and so I guess if this thread gets booted, then it gets booted.

So, I will put a little preamble here that says I do not in any sense condone the use of non-hallucinogenic drugs (ie cocain, methamphetamines, opiates, etc.), they are pretty much bad. And I do not condone the use of hallucinogens for anyone who has even the slightest doubt that they might not be able to handle it. Taking an entheogen is like jumping off the deep end, and it takes bravery and is NEVER for the feint of heart or unstable.

Alittle about hallucinogens
For anyone who might not know:
semantically,
Psychedelic = "mind-manifesting"
Entheogen = "becoming divine within"
Holotropic = "moving towards wholeness"

Some examples: LSD, Psilocybin mushrooms, Marijuana (in high doses), Mescaline (peyote), DMT (ayahuasca)

The effects of all hallucinogens are on the perceptual areas of the brain. Though they are not completely understood, they do drastically increase the rate of neurological function in those areas,

These substances are illegal, because the government wants slaves and has no interest in free minds.

All of that said, I see entheogens as a valid method by which to have a spiritual experience. Now of course it is temporary, and having a temporary spiritual experience is not by any means the goal, but I do think that it can greatly assist. I suppose a good way of saying it would be that I think they can greatly catalyse our development.

Personally, I have used heavy entheogens twice, and both times have been probably THE most significant experiences of my life. If you've never done it, I don't think you could ever understand. I don't mean to sound snobby by saying that, but I just think it is the simple truth. It is such a bizarre and strange experience, so far removed from day-to-day consciousness, that no amount of explaining will really be able to explain it. The first time I used it, I actually had a death experience, immediately followed by a mystical experience. What I mean by that is in the traditional sense, a complete absorption into consciousness, no me, no body, no thought, no perceiver, just an incredibly bright shining awareness. Not awareness of anything, awareness of awareness. No self. It was like going out through the inside. I went in and then out, through that needle-eye sized hole that leads to the other side. Even as I type this I know that these words on the screen in no way convey what it actually was like. It was completely beyond. This was not a simple side effect of the drug, however, and only came after a painful death experience. I had to die in order to go there. To this day, I am changed after that. I know beyond any shadow of a doubt, beyond theory or even belief, that I am more than this body and this life. Before that, I had theorised, but I did not know by experience. I think that Ra referred to this type of thing, like the one of the purposes of going into the resonating chambers of the pyramids was to have this death experience, and the person comes out changed forever after that.

Well, apparently Q'uo said that they did not advise the use of these somewhere in one of the transcripts. And so, Carla has stated that she doesn't condone it or think it's a good idea (to my knowledge).

But I can't help but disagree. True, it is risky. But these substances, particularly those from plants, have been used by shamans around the world for thousands of years to tap into the universal mind and to help their peoples live healthily in harmony with the planet. Sometimes this can lead to miraculous healings and there have been reports of parapsychological type phenomena, such as a shaman might take ayahuasca to find out who stole something, or where a lost item is. And apparently it works at least some of the time, or they wouldn't keep doing it for thousands of years. Not that any of this is the point. Miracles and psychic powers are to be taken in stride, they are not a sign of anything special really. But if you've read some about shamanism and heard Terrence McKenna talk, you know that one of the most valuable aspects of these is that they remove you, at least temporarily, from your discursive cultural framework, which is pretty much the veil. I know that when I take them, I certainly get a big-time "veil has been lifted" feeling. Eyes have been opened, truth is seen, all the non-sense I normally think is gone, bam, wiped away. And that is a useful experience to have, in my opinion. Things can be taken away from that experience, it can be learned from. Of course, it can also be completely recreational and one might not learn anything from it. Hence the SPIRITUAL USE of Entheogens, in the title.

So, I suppose I just want to get some discussion going on this subject. Any experiences to share? Opinions? This is one of my main areas of interest, and I would love to hear what some fellow Law of One folks think about it.

And sorry if I upset anyone or overstep the bounds by posting this, but I just don't see it as inappropriate at all. Nothing wrong with sharing and discussing, and if anything I think that these particular "drugs" should be less taboo and not associated with drugs that are actually very bad for you and are addictive. It's totally different. While I understand why we might want to steer clear of discussions of sex and drugs and rock 'n roll ;D (oh my), I do not really even see these as "drugs" in the "drugs are bad" sense. The term drugs has a lot of negative connotation that I just don't think fits these substances, they should not even be in the same category. As far as I am concerned, these are spiritual tools, and it is ONLY for that reason that I post this thread. Hope I'm not stomping on anyone's tulips. I never have been very good at tip-toeing.

[Ali Quadir]

If the usage of psychoactives turn normal people into saints. Then drug rehab facilities must be filled with holy men?

I've used mushrooms about fourteen times in the period of 3 to 4 years and xtc once, I still smoke cannabis. I was actually initiated for the first time under the influence of mushrooms. And the experience was huge. It was the biggest thing that ever happened to me. I can still say without a doubt that it in no way enhances your spiritual ability. And it does not release you from the confines of everyday reality. You just experience things that you interpret as spiritual because you're a spiritual man. Your fellow tripper who is a less spiritual man goes hunting for gnomes. One of mine did. He's a free man, not a slave... But he's also hunting gnomes.

It's not the psychedelics that made you what you are... You did... You just identified the psychedelics as the cause and not yourself..

My evaluation isn't totally negative though. It's something I recommend every healthy and informed adult to do at least once in life. Just don't fall for the idea that it turns you into some kind of saint. It's medicine and like with every medicine true healing comes from within. Not from the chemicals you ingest. It might give the experience you need to move ahead in your spiritual journey. But dinner at your in laws can do the exact same thing if you let it.

[MisterRabbit]

Ali, I'm not saying it made me a saint, but I am saying that it made me experience something so totally beyond that I had never experienced before, and I guess maybe I'm more firmly rooted to the sensory world than some people, but with me that does not typically happen. As I said, chemically, it just acts on your perceptual regions, and that action can be used to enhance your perception of reality, or to "chase gnomes". Either are possible, it just turns up the volume, in a way.

Taha, I don't quite know what to say about yours. It's wonderful that you are able to do that, I guess, but I can't. Most of the time, though I meditate and know that this world is a dream, I am mostly tuned in to a normal perceptual functioning that allows me to function in day-to-day life, and I'm not able to switch back and forth so easily. I know that it isn't something that is ONLY from the drugs, after all, all they do is turn up the volume. So whatever we experience on them was already latent within us. But I have to say that the only thing that even remotely compares is deep meditation, for me. I wish I could just switch it on like that, but it is not the case with me at this current space/time nexus. What do you do in these "teaching sessions" anyway?

[3D Sunset]

Hi Rabbit,

I haven't seen you around in a while. I hope that means that you've been enjoying yourself and recreating somewhere other than in front of the computer screen since the spring semester ended.

I'm not sure if you've noticed this thread from the "Sessions in Focus" forum, but it addresses your topic from the Confederation's perspective. There were, I thought some very good points made in it.

Love and Light,

3D Sunset

[ayadew]

I have yet to use any psychedelic drugs, but I am very positive to the idea. A friend of mine, who lurks these forums and never posts, has invited me to try LSD sometime, which I look forward to.
I acknowledge the risk, but the risk vs reward experience seems worth it in my eyes, as I feel it might act as a catalyst so unlock a feeling of mine I've been looking for.

Following Ali's advice, I'll likely only do it once. Or at least attempt to.

[3D Sunset]

Following Ali's advice, I'll likely only do it once. Or at least attempt to.

Hi ayadew,

Given that we now have threads on both Drugs and Rock and Roll, I can't resist the temptation to make the trio complete and draw an analogy between Sex and your statement.

As such, I would caution that due to the chance that you may discover that you really, really like it, please bear in mind that if the experience does not go as planned, there is no such thing as being "just a little bit pregnant". As always, the best "protection" is abstinence, but you are obviously an adult. I do wish you well.

Sorry, I can't help giving unsolicited advice... I'm a father of three.

Love and Light,

3D Sunset

[ayadew]

Hello 3D Sunset.

Thank you for your advise and concern, it warms my heart, and I am still reluctant to try for I understand your point.
My limited understanding of my brain may prove that I am not optimally prepared for the extreme catalyst. But mind over matter...

The best defense I have against, as you indirectly say, getting addicted or pregnant (a fine analogy) is a deeply rooted realization of mine that learning to reach the mystical states, that psychedelics can offer, by myself is infinitely more rewarding, as it will be a constant state instead of short bursts.

I can always blame it all on the "young and foolish" approach.

[Monica]

I have yet to use any psychedelic drugs, but I am very positive to the idea. A friend of mine, who lurks these forums and never posts, has invited me to try LSD sometime, which I look forward to.
I acknowledge the risk, but the risk vs reward experience seems worth it in my eyes, as I feel it might act as a catalyst so unlock a feeling of mine I've been looking for.

Following Ali's advice, I'll likely only do it once. Or at least attempt to.

Ah, I totally remember feeling that way. I swore I'd try pot only once, out of sheer curiosity! But of course I ended up getting high every day for 6 years, until age 21.

Then I swore I'd never do any other drugs...in fact broke up with a boyfriend because he did stuff other than pot.

But later, a different boyfriend told me of the spiritual awakening that could occur with LSD, and I became absolutely fascinated by the idea. Again, 'just once' of course!

(I hope I'm not sounding snarky here...I am chuckling because I can so completely relate to the appeal of hallucinagens! There is a reason you feel drawn to it...there is substance there. The question is: is it worth it?)

I only tripped (acid) 5 times, and did mushrooms only once. The 1st time I did acid, I understood all the secrets in the UniVerse. The veil was completely lifted. Thoughts rushed thru my mind a million miles a second. I didn't remember the knowledge later, but I remembered having the knowledge. To this day, I consider it an authentic experience. That knowledge was REAL! The acid just helped me to access it.

Skeptics would say that the experience was drug-induced and therefore 'only in my imagination.' Heh, they say the same thing about NDEs. What I experienced was akin to understanding calculus at age 3, multiplied by a million. I understood why I was here, why everything was the way it was...the secrets of the UniVerse were revealed to me!

While many people hallucinate while tripping, my experience was mostly intellectual, though I did see everything moving. It was as though ordinary life was a photo and my expanded awareness was a movie.

To this day, I treasure that experience. Whenever I've had doubts about life, I could always go back to the knowing that I was an eternal being. I knew this because I experienced it.

I couldn't wait to do it again!

But, the 2nd trip was as horrible as the 1st was wonderful. I literally saw demons and was in a state of extreme terror. I was terrified of everything. My then-boyfriend kept trying to play music but everything he played terrified me. It was as though his album collection was alive and out to get me. Each note of each song stabbed at me like a knife. I couldn't stand being touched - my skin crawled - so he was helpless to comfort me. If I saw 'heaven' the first time, this time I saw 'hell!' Paranoia doesn't even begin to describe the intense terror I felt. Think of the most scared you've ever been, and then multiply that times a million, and you'll begin to get a taste of what it was like. Nothing helped. There was no way to come down off the trip. It was like being on a terrifying roller-coaster when you have the flu, and you just keep puking and screaming but no one ever stops the roller-coaster. Everyone else is laughing but are oblivious to how sick you are, and it goes on for not a few minutes, not a few hours, but all night and most of the next day!

We dropped acid at around midnight, and I didn't come down until 3pm the next day, when my ex-boyfriend threatened to take me to the hospital if I didn't snap out of it. I must have been nearing the end of the trip, because suddenly I became more terrified of going to the hospital and getting locked up for being insane, and I finally came down.

It took me a YEAR to get over it! I could easily have ended up in a mental hospital.

Over the next year, I wasn't the same. It's hard to put my finger on what changed, but I became withdrawn, insecure, and emotionally unstable.

Incredibly, I foolishly tripped 3 more times after that, because my ex-boyfriend convinced me that I'd just gotten bad acid. Those other trips were relatively uneventful. I was simply unable to recapture the wonder of that first trip.

That was almost 30 years ago. There's no way I would ever trip again now.

The problem with any synthetic drug is that you just never know what you're getting. I was told my bummer trip was because we got bad acid. Maybe so. Or maybe it was the mood I was in when I dropped the acid. I'll never know. But there's just no way to really know exactly what combination of chemicals are in that tiny pill, or how it will affect your own individual circuitry. Being sold on the black market makes it even more difficult to trust what you're getting. But even if it were legal and dosages regulated, as Q'uo pointed out, each person responds differently. Having the veil rent isn't the same for everyone! There's a reason that veil is there in the first place.

I'm incredulous that I did it. It blows my mind to contemplate doing something like that now.

I don't feel as strongly about the natural plant allies because at least they're more consistent. I think the synthetics are cheap facsimiles, actually.

The only way I personally would EVER consider doing any hallucinagen would be in a Native American ceremony, with some elders guiding me as a spiritual experience. I have a friend who did peyote as part of a spiritual ritual, and she had a beautiful experience. It changed her in a positive way. Done that way, there is an attitude of reverence and attuning to the positive. Plus, you have guides to help you along the path.

My friend invited me the next time, but I declined. Somehow, for me, the time is past. I don't want to risk whatever degree of clarity I've gained.

I think I would have been a lot better off if I had done something like that when I was younger, instead of just wanting to party to Pink Floyd back then. I had no idea what I was getting into, and it very nearly cost me my sanity. God knows what it did to my aura and circuitry, as Q'uo mentioned (see the thread in 'Sessions' linked to in previous post).

Speaking of which, I think Q'uo nailed it in that session. Very well explained!

Seriously, I hate to sound preachy, but there really is a lot at stake now, with this being the end of 3D...there really are some nasties out there who will polarize if they gain control of an STO entity...I know this from experience. I think there are a lot of ways to explore that are much safer. I'm grateful for the positive experience I had, and I'm also grateful that I didn't go totally insane after the bad trip. It's sort of like playing Russian Roulette.

My advice would be: If you do feel drawn to doing some sort of hallucinagen, stick with the natural ones, and make sure it's in a positive environment, with an attuning towards the sacred.

[MisterRabbit]

I doubt you would get "hooked" on psychedelics. They are not physically addicting whatsoever, and they tend to leave you with that "Woah, not going to do that again for a while" feeling. Of course there are some exceptions, I suppose, and human beings can become psychologically addicted to just about anything.

[Monica]

I doubt you would get "hooked" on psychedelics. They are not physically addicting whatsoever, and they tend to leave you with that "Woah, not going to do that again for a while" feeling. Of course there are some exceptions, I suppose, and human beings can become psychologically addicted to just about anything.

Generally, that's probably true. At least not addicted in the commonly understood sense.

But, I think it depends on the person. I have a friend who was tripping several times a week, sometimes nearly every day, for several months. I couldn't understand how she was even functioning! She didn't have a job at that point in her life, so could stay home and trip as much as she wanted.

She was very caught up in New Age trappings (and by 'trappings' I mean because they were trendy, rather than as serious tools) and essentially thought that LSD was her shortcut to Ascension.

She also did a lot of cocaine.

A few years later, she displayed symptoms of schizophrenia. Her mom was diagnosed with schizophrenia, so I can't help but wonder if she had a predisposition to it, and the excessive tripping pushed her over the edge. I'd say she definitely got hooked.

I had another friend who boasted that he and his girlfriend were tripping several times a week. I don't know what happened to them.

Couldn't frequent tripping become a bit of a distraction?

[MisterRabbit]

Monica, I just read your first post, and thank you for addressing the natural/synthetic issue. I find myself in agreement you, although I would like to try acid at least once. But mainly I am interested in the natural ones, Psilocybin, Mescaline, Ayahuasca.
In response to your second, I do think that this is possible. While they are not addictive in the physical, bodily sense, they can be addictive psychologically. And that can be bad news. On the other hand, I've heard of shamans that used ayahuasca very frequently for a number of years, and eventually they didn't need it anymore. They just always had their third eye opened, were always living in that world. I don't know if these are true, but it is an interesting thought. On the whole, I would agree with you again that one certainly ought to do these things in moderation. The closest thing to frequent tripping I might ever do is if I did repeated ceremonies within a short amount of time with shamans doing ayahuasca or something similar. Even then, it wouldn't be long-term.

[Monica]

Monica, I just read your first post, and thank you for addressing the natural/synthetic issue. I find myself in agreement you, although I would like to try acid at least once.

According to the info from Q'uo, it appears that both synthetic and natural hallucinagens could have either a positive or negative effect. It seems logical to me that the synthetics would be far riskier, but that's just my own personal opinion.

Perhaps for someone like you, who's had some experience with the naturals, 'just once' with the synthetic might not be as risky as it might be for someone with no experience. That's just speculation. Q'uo seemed to indicate that even 'just once' could be devastating for some people, while positive for others. By 'devastating' they actually said it could cause permanent damage, affecting the entire lifetime. That was rather disconcerting!

I've heard of shamans that used ayahuasca very frequently for a number of years, and eventually they didn't need it anymore. They just always had their third eye opened, were always living in that world. I don't know if these are true, but it is an interesting thought.

I've heard that too. Conversely, I've also heard the opposite. In her book Star Signs, Linda Goodman states that hallicinagens can open the 3rd eye but that repeated use can atrophy it. Hmmm...I guess it could work either way!

I don't regret my experiences. But after I had quit all of it, I went back and just smoked pot a few times, and didn't have a good experience. It was as though I were too sensitive to it or something...it's difficult to describe. If that happened with just a little peace weed, I don't think I want to go back to doing anything stronger. I wonder if it's because I now know too much about the little nasties who can sometimes slip in when the doors of perception are flung open.

[MisterRabbit]

That's possible, Monica, because I don't normally think about negatives too much and I've always had a sort of "God is watching over" type of feeling. There was one time that I had a nightmare that I'm fairly confident was a "greeting", but other than that I don't really pay them any heed.

Funny you should mention that about pot, I actually smoked marijuana recreationally from the time I was about 14 to the time I was about 17, and at that point, for whatever reason, I decided I didn't want to do it anymore. Then, when someone would talk me into doing it again, I would have a pretty negative reaction to it and think "Woah, I don't like this anymore." But then, several years later, just a few months ago, someone got me to do it (and it was some very high quality stuff) and it was almost like a hallucinogenic experience for me, it was not the weak and recreational high I had experienced before, but I felt like new parts of my mind were being experienced with it. That has now continued. While I only do it maybe twice a week, it's not what it was to me when I was younger, now it's more like a sacrament. I only really like to do it alone, because it's when I'm not distracted by social obligations that I can most focus inwardly. It feels like an entire other part of my mind has been activated, like it opens me up to experiencing the unseen flowing into me through my imagination, and hopefully through the use of this substance I can gradually awaken to that part eventually without the plant. But, I also think it's pretty harmless, roughly on par with a glass or two of wine or a bowl of pipe tobacco from time to time.

[peelstreetguy]

This is the full response from Q'uo when Gary was kind enough to ask my question. I think it is important to read it in its entirety. This answer was very helpfull for me in understanding what I've experienced, Although I have a million more questions now, LOL.


G: S, from Canada, has a question. S says, “There are a lot of people taking hallucinatory drugs. Many of them report that it helped them to open their mind in new ways. Others get very frightened and never do them again. Please explain what is happening to a person when they are under the influence of one of these drugs and if it is harmless and/or beneficial. If you could speak specifically about LSD, mushrooms and salvia divinorum [9] I would appreciate it.”

We are those of Q’uo, and we are aware of the query of the one known as S. My brother, the question of the use of hallucinatory substances is not so much a spiritual question as it is a physical question. Further, it is not possible to offer one answer, for everyone who would take a given dosage of LSD, mushrooms or salvia shall experience that dosage in a unique way based upon his body type, his sensitivity and the many aspects of personality and energy, in terms of vital energy, physical energy, emotional energy and so forth, that come together to create that moment when the dosage is taken.

In general, my brother, such substances remove obstacles to the seeing of a fuller reality. How this will work for one person is impossible to predict and whether that dosage exceeds that entity’s ability to integrate the experience is also impossible to predict. Thus it is that “experimenting with drugs” is called such accurately. It is indeed an experiment.

We would never deny that it is often such enhanced experiences that give a new seeker the impetus towards awakening and seeking outside the limits of his birth and culture. We would also not deny that there are many whose experiences have not been positive ones, and when this occurs, it is because, as we said, the power of the experience is too great for the circuitry, speaking in a metaphysical sense, of that entity at that time.

There are some entities whose circuitry is already perfectly adjusted to finer realities and when such entities receive a dose of this enhancement it has a tendency not to affect them at all. There are others who have naturally sturdy energy bodies who are able to accept a great deal of enhanced light moving through the energy body without its creating any problems with their internal wiring, shall we say.

Then there are those who have been working with a reasonably good wattage, but a low amperage, so that as long as experience flows in a non-enhanced manner, all is well, but when the high-amp light moves through the energy body, as the result of the chemical reactions of the physical body to the substances, there is an overactivation of the wiring and it breaks.

When a fuse blows in an energy system for your house, for instance, it is simply a matter of taking out the bad fuse and putting in a new fuse and restarting the electrical system. However, it is not possible to do that with the energy body. When there is a hole blown in the wiring, it is often a matter of some years before the energy body is able to knit back together the circuitry involved.

This circumstance is often described by this instrument as “having a hole blown in your aura.” When this occurs, naturally it is considered to be a very unfortunate thing and in some cases there have been situations where there was never the possibility in that incarnation and on the level of that circuitry of mending that circuitry entirely.

Consequently, we would not presume either to encourage or discourage your desires for experience, but we would simply wish you to be aware that there is no way to judge a safe dosage or a proper dosage of such enhancing chemicals. There is only your estimate as to the condition of your wiring internally, metaphysically speaking, and the circumstances which surround your use of these substances.

We apologize for not being able to speak concerning specific drugs and their actions upon you. However, from our point of view it is impossible because of the fact that not only are you unique but you are not the same entity today that you will be tomorrow. There are many cycles of energy that are moving through you at all times and the combinations are nearly infinite. Consequently, were we able to become utterly familiar with your wiring and so forth, we still could not speak to the specific effects of a specific chemical upon your system.

May we answer you further, my brother? We are those of Q’uo.

Thank you, Q’uo. I’m sure S will enjoy your answer.

D: I have a quick follow-up to that, if it’s okay.

We are those of Q’uo, and would welcome your query, my brother.

D: Would it be possible for you to say if these chemicals generally make one more vulnerable to psychic greetings?

We are those of Q’uo, and are aware of your query, my brother. To those who are ignorant, there is much less challenge or resistance, shall we say, than to those who have received light. With each honor comes a duty. When you have asked to learn more and have taken substances which are designed to increase the amount of light that you have seen, then you are responsible for the light that you have seen.

As you glow more brightly, you shall attract more attention from those whose delight is in putting out the light that they perceive, or at least putting it to use for their purposes. Therefore, my brother, in general, the answer is yes.

May we answer you further, my brother? We are those of Q’uo.

D: That’s great.

We thank you. We would at this time ask for a final query before we leave this instrument. Is there a final query at this time? We are those of Q’uo.

[Monica]

Funny you should mention that about pot, I actually smoked marijuana recreationally from the time I was about 14 to the time I was about 17, and at that point, for whatever reason, I decided I didn't want to do it anymore. Then, when someone would talk me into doing it again, I would have a pretty negative reaction to it and think "Woah, I don't like this anymore." But then, several years later, just a few months ago, someone got me to do it (and it was some very high quality stuff) and it was almost like a hallucinogenic experience for me, it was not the weak and recreational high I had experienced before, but I felt like new parts of my mind were being experienced with it. That has now continued. While I only do it maybe twice a week, it's not what it was to me when I was younger, now it's more like a sacrament. I only really like to do it alone, because it's when I'm not distracted by social obligations that I can most focus inwardly. It feels like an entire other part of my mind has been activated, like it opens me up to experiencing the unseen flowing into me through my imagination, and hopefully through the use of this substance I can gradually awaken to that part eventually without the plant. But, I also think it's pretty harmless, roughly on par with a glass or two of wine or a bowl of pipe tobacco from time to time.

What a great example of using it consciously!

[Ole]

Maria Alice Campos Freire, one of the 13 Indigenous Grandmothers. Works with Ayahuasca.



I think this picture is rather telling...

[MisterRabbit]

Yeah, I wanna go hang out with HER. I been wanting to go do some ayahuasca for a long time, now, preferably with a guide.

[alchemikey]

hey everyone,

i am just going to share some experiences i have had with the use of entheogens:

i have only had one trip that i was not prepared for and that was the first time i tripped which was on liquid acid and so i will start there:

i had just watched the first matrix movie and the ideas in that movie were still floating around in my head (probably not the best time for me to have tried it)...i pretty much experienced my own version of that movie...as the acid kicked in i went through an "ego" death experience where who i thought i was before pretty much melted and a new ego arose to replace it (it was not a nice feeling, it was way to much to take in and so all i could do was surrender to it and well die)...i remember seeing a bright light and going out of my body at times and then watching my life on the television as i was reviewing it...i was given the whole red pill, blue pill option afterwards and i chose that i did not want to remember what i had just experienced...i know a lot more happened than what i am writing...the details are kinda fuzzy now...i don't even like thinking about it as it took a couple of years to feel somewhat like myself again....one positive thing from this first experience was that i learned how powerful each thought really is and what it feels like to be a creator/destroyer...luckily i came across the Ra and seth material shortly after this experience which helped me immensely in my recovery and understanding of what had happened...it definitely got me seeking some answers you could say...i didn't do acid again for 7 years and i guess acid is just not for me as the experience again was not that great...the coming down on acid is just not a good time for me

i was 18 when i tried the liquid acid and like 3 years later i decided to go on a pilgrimage to peru which included a week in the amazon with some ayahuasca sessions led by a local shaman singing his icaros...i feel like whatever i experienced on acid was completely healed with the help of ayahuasca...to be honest it was the most amazing and most revealing experience of my life...the ayahuasca visions started off with a blackhole forming in from of me and then kinda engulfing me...my eyes were closed at the time and then thousands of these beautiful devas started dancing in an interconnected egyptian dance that filled my entire vision...i watched this beautiful dance for some time until it eventually faded and was replaced by something that i will never forget...i opened my eyes and looked at my golden light body and i could see an entire universe inside of me with bright white swirling galaxies and golden liquid light flowing in between all the galaxies that were making up my body....i was lying down next to a lady and we were like snuggled against each other and i could see the golden light flowing between our bodies which were both microcosms and then the golden light would come out the top of our heads like a fountain on and gently fall back down to our feet like rain...a neverending torus of golden liquid light

alex gray has a painting that is pretty close to the vision i saw while on ayahuasca:



now i forgot to mention that for the half hour prior to all the visions starting in the ayahuasca session i went through a full scale forgiving process of my life and everyone in it which made me feel very clean and pure and ready for what was ahead

alrite so that is basically what i got from ayahuasca...i have tried it back at home in the states with a couple friends since that time but it was nothing like being in the jungle with an experienced shaman to guide the trip...i do plan on going back to peru and exploring those realms a little deeper

i guess magic mushrooms would be next on the list...i have done mushrooms about a dozen times and i have always had a good time on them...language gets really silly and all i want to do is laugh and listen to/make music...i like how they come in waves and so you get little breaks within the trip...i usually eat them at music festivals as i find those environments to be complimentary to the magic mushrooms

3 summers ago at a festival i experienced my first drum circle while on shrooms...this is the second most amazing and revealing experience of my life...at the time i had a ruptured eardrum and the pain was getting quite intense as the swelling was moving down my cheek...my friends and i decided to lay down next to the drumming circle and i got so into the rhythm that my entire body started to tingle and vibrate at a higher rate...the air around us became like electric and it felt like electric rain drops were falling on me...i got on to my knees and put my ear onto mother earth and starting swaying back and forth to the beat and the pain was literally sucked out of me and all the pressure released and my ear was spontaneously healed back to normal...i was so thankful for the circle of people that were drumming...i have never felt such gratitude in my life...a circle full of smiles, i have never felt so much at home here on earth...after the drumming stopped i got up still vibrating at a very high rate and i started to spin...the spinning led me to this vortex in the earth where i could feel the energy going into the ground...at this point i was not making choices but being led by some higher power...i received these thoughts telling me to get 4 other people and connect hands around the vortex forming a pentagon and so i did and then we started to spin around...we got spinning really fast to the point that i thought we were about to take off in orbit so we stopped...after that i walked by some people and i would get pulled to certain individuals like i was a magnet and like we were meant to talk to each other about what just happened as if they had the next piece to the puzzle...i get pulled to this one guy and he immediately says my full name and i'm like "how'd you know that" and he's like "i don't know"...so yeah telepathy can be a little weird but that was basically the gist of that story...

i am getting a little tired so i will stop there...will share a couple more experiences 2marrow:

peace and happy trails
mikey

[Ali Quadir]

I think this picture is rather telling...

Indeed I think my heart just skipped a beat. She's absolutely radiant.

[Sirius]

Regarding the extended use of ayahuaska and then no longer needing it. (I know it spelt wrong, but it looked funky this way)

'It' contains DMT which our own brain secretes in MINUTE ammounts. We should in theory, some would argue naturally, be able to bring about this DMT without the consumption of it. This involves the pineal gland/third eye. One could possably say that al 3rd eye meditations are mini DMT trips. To say the least I have gone on a nutty one, when only initially meditating with the 6th chakra.

Given the law of attraction and all other things, once you have been using it for a while would your body chemistry not adjust? as it has to tpotential to do so. But as I said the LoA once you have experienced it, and are proficcient as using LoA to your advantage, could you not manifest an expereince through this way also. persay the reason I can't know is becuase I don't know anything about the DMT expereince so I would be hard pushed to ask for such a thing.

How illegal is this stuff in the UK?

Regarding the Synthetic vs Organic issue.

Human science has progressed to the point that we can alter the molecular structure of chemicals. Given this power it is easy to create something which you don't understand. For instance LSD (so far as I know, correct me if im wrong) was made by the US gov't and then tested on some troops. What bigger example of not understanding something do you need? At least when you take the organic standpoint, mother earth, Gaia, has created these chemicals through whatever means she does it. Gaia has created these to I guess to expand our experience, Good and Bad. I think the issue of the synthetic vs organic is solved simply rewording it. Man-Made Vs Gaia Created. The difference of making and creating, and the value of trust you have in those people who make these chemicals as opposed to trusting your (parent?) planet/home. I beleive that if I found something Gaia created which was bad, envoking of a negative experince like poisoning/death I will be made aware of it, if I was to enquire metaphysical/spiritualy.

When mimicing Gaia creations, such as creating THC or DMT in a lab. We do so in a best effort attempt. The molecular structure may be the same, but the inner workings of the molecules are different, In other words A deeper meaning that we are able to percieve, a level of the universe our technology/science has yet to pierce. (This is extendable to all pharamacutical drugs, not just the entheogens, paracetamol, asprin to name but 2).

To round off, These mind altering drugs are here in my opinion to diversify our experince even further than a world without drugs could have done. After all, being here is in part all about diversification.

Love and Light,
Fellow enquirers into Persian Rugs haha

[fairyfarmgirl]

Yeah, I wanna go hang out with HER. I been wanting to go do some ayahuasca for a long time, now, preferably with a guide.

Consider joining in the meditation that I posted on another thread: Hold onto your hat: surviving the lunar eclipse. The Thirteen Grandmothers are holders of Peace--- Tap into that energy and you will be with them as an
intender for peace.

fairyfarmgirl

---

Mother Nature can not be replicated. In an ayacauhasa brew there are micro-insects, minerals in the dirt, the practioners sweat and prayers, and the plants and their zillions of cells and chemicals that all are cooperating to assist you in your healing... So no a Lab can not ever replicate at this level of vibration the sacred brew from the Goddess.

fairyfarmgirl

[MisterRabbit]

I am glad to read your stories, Alchemikey, and they are very interesting. I have for a long time wanted to go do basically what you describe doing with the shamans.

And I agree that in a sense they are for diversification. In fact, purely from a neurological point of view, they make the perceptual regions of your brain function MORE, exprience MORE than you normally ever would have. This can of course go to the extent that it becomes scrambled, which then is the true test, one could say. Has anyone ever heard the theories about the "manna from heaven" in the old testament actually being mushrooms? It's interesting to think about.

[Sirius]

thew manna from heaven is white powder gold, a monoatomic element, the things we have been talking about in another thread, modern day derivative like etherium gold just pretend to be manna.

So far as I understood the use of these I never really had them down as drugs, as supposedly thier effects are magnetic, I guess the definition of a drug would indeed imply it is though.

[BrownEye]

I went through my LSD habit for maybe 15 years. Started out multiple times a week when I was pretty much a street rat. As I got older and settled down it became a Friday night recreation until I no longer had any kind of source for the stuff. I would take LSD sometimes with mushrooms and either freestyle BMX or downhill mountainbike. A lot of times I would just plan out a night of strange movies.
For a short period I was taking a group of friends deep into national forest for the trips and something actually scared the living daylights out of us all. Thinking back it seemed like a bigfoot type of creature and for some reason we had this sensory experience that seemed like radar during that fear episode. I have since taken other people out to the same area of the forest (minus the drugs) and had the same fear/radar intense feelings even during the day. That period of my life has a big question mark still!
I noticed that the more spiritual aspects of the drugs seemed to happen with eyes closed and some type of repetitive sensory input. Eyes closed while in someones truck with a SuperTrapp exhaust right under where I was sitting showed me images of daily life with me zooming out from the images to where it looked like one of those walls with stacks of TVs running. As I continued to zoom outward the images got smaller and changed to colored triangles and eventually I think hexagons and then forming a sphere kind of like this
Another time I traveled through imagery was while letting shower head spray focus on my forehead while showering and peaking. At that time I noticed that I could turn up the heat all the way and it made my skin red but didn't cause any pain.
I don't have visual hallucinations normally, but once I took 50 hits of the paper type and I could look at something and it would disappear. So the trip was more like figuring out if objects were really in front of me and wondering why I couldn't see them. I have never had what would be considered a bad trip, although I have had experiences that weren't enjoyable. I wish I still had access to that stuff but my lifesyle changes and different circle of friends and now having children will keep me from ever being in that position again. I do miss it.

It totally seemed to separate me from what's called the rat race. And when in the forest I felt more at home or at peace. I have seen people take it that should never come near things like that. I would say that an individual has to be firmly grounded and stable and mentally developed to consider it a safe venture to experiment for the first time. I don't regret it, it has helped be what I am now. But for those who aren't mentally stable I would say they are playing roulette with their mind and always have the chance of ruining their life with this choice.

[Monica]

I recently got an email from our good friend Taha, which reminded me that I never did post his last comments on hallucinagens. I had this saved in a pm, and got permission to post it. Here it is:

------from Taha------

As for the post on hallucinogens, yes, by all means re-post it if you like. I find that people are often reluctant to share their own powerful experiences, perhaps being worried that they'll be perceived as being egotistical or looking for attention. That's one reason I've always stayed away from the media, or allowing any form of guru worship to develop around me. There's all too much of it in the the world!

Have fun in there!
x

I'd saved my main post from the drug related thread for someone else who'd asked me a few questions, so I'll add it here for what it may be worth. I do hope those considering taking hallucinogens don't go for it too readily - you and I both know of the real dangers having tried it. I had a very bad trip once when in my late teens, much as you describe, and it took me a year or more to even begin to recover from it. My companions warned me beforehand, but you know how it is..!

My best wishes Monica, to you and everyone, and perhaps paths will cross at other times.

Taha

-----------------------------------
Post:

I've experienced what you tried to describe, but found that the experience without the hallucinogens is far more powerful and real (let's assume real is not just 'in the mind' so it doesn't go into an opinion spiral). I've said in other threads that having gone through whatever 'veil' we try to describe, I can and do at will and when I just relax. It takes others around me with it, like an experience catalyst. I mentioned this happening sometimes in shops, etc., where I'm feeling very light and all-one, and then find people staring at things wide-eyed like they're tripping. And they are, so I 'drag myself back' to 'normal solidity' and they all 'come back' too. This started happening years ago when I really awoke, but of course usually in group teaching sessions. People accepted it as they wanted to 'go beyond' the ordinary. Some try to do that using drugs, and as you say, it can be a very valid and useful way to do it. But the warnings are because of the inherent dangers in the changes the drugs cause, sometimes leading to psychological trauma, and as one (Ra I think) lesson said, energy field (ie., soul) burn out which the person may not fully recover from in this incarnation. I know this is very personal, but here's one evening I spent with a group of friends.

We'd been talking for perhaps an hour, when someone who'd been looking very high and glassy-eyed said the table was shimmering. Then someone else said the walls were breathing, and the carpet looked like it was flowing like a shallow river. The table, to another, seemed to be trying to grow, or change shape. Everyone said each looked as though they were on fire, but the fire was white with colours in it. Someone said the soft white shapes floating around me had coalesced into three beautiful 'angels', and one had her hand on my shoulder. People started seeing rays of all sorts of colours coming from each other, as one said, kind of like the Jesus pictures, but moving and far brighter. Acid trip? Nope. Just another training evening, like any other. What everyone was experiencing was reality, but with relaxed and clearer perceptions. They talked with my companions and their own, we did 'healing' work and lit up the building, played games with our light companions, some shared whispered things and smilingly refused to share what was said, some hugged them and said they remembered them as old friends, one woman knew my closest companion as an old friend, etc. After a few hours of this, and quite capable of relating to the 'normal' world and aware of it getting late, we 'wound down' and everyone went home. Some experienced more than others, as always.

Moving into time/space like this, tangibly experiencing the flow of energies everything is made from, and communing in a very tactile way with our light companions is so much better than a drug trip for many reasons. One, at the least, is that you know it wasn't induced by a drug. I'm not saying that invalidates drug experiences, but for almost everyone it's not then passed off as, "Oh that - Yeah, I was really tripping!" It's very real, very tangible, and regularly reproducible so as to become normal experience. Oh, and as someone did compare it with drug experiences once, even though we were close and trusted each other implicitly, I actually told everyone to bring their own bottled water and snacks a few times, just to reassure their subconscious mind that nothing had been secretly done to them. Some laughed and didn't bother, but some did and thanked me for being down to earth about it and reassuring them.

What I constantly share with others is that we can all very easily slip beyond the bounds of consensus reality, and not just in visualisations either. So why not just leave out the drugs, the uncertainty a 'trip' leaves, and the very real potential dangers? Of course that may give rise to the thought of, "Yes, but what about the danger of those experiences sending someone loopy?"

There's a wonderful and very natural safety mechanism. Those who walk behind the scenes will never deliberately wreck anyone's perceptions of consensus reality without knowing that they're ready to go further, and more importantly, that they've actively asked to be assisted in doing so. Which is why they don't just appear and walk around visible to everyone. I've found in many situations, with individuals and with groups, that people only go as far as their fears let them. Some who seem nervous or even quite scared very quickly loose all fears and find themselves standing, as one guy did, with his hands on my closest companions cheeks. He described her perfectly, as though trying to reassure me that he was experiencing it. (This was a guy who said, "I don't have anything special happen in my life. I'm just a thick electrician"). Another woman who was convinced she wanted to 'meet angels', approached what she saw as a glowing person shape, who then reached out and touched her hand. The woman shot backwards into a corner saying, "That's wrong, that's all wrong!" The tangible experience was more than she could cope with. But guess what happened? Half an hour later she was smiling and saying that however I did the trick with the light and making her think she'd felt something, it was very clever! She stated firmly that she still believed angels exist, and that she was going to ask the priest on Sunday what angels really were.

Sorry if I'm not addressing or delving into a discussion about the validity of hallucinogens, but having experienced that a number of times, and then moving into experience which made those pale in comparison, I recommend not bothering with the drugs myself. Tangible experience of the universe behind consensus reality is so much better without them, leads to much more intimate contact with our light companions, and far greater perception of our true nature.

[Ole]

I would just like to poke my head in and say that, IME, the so called "hallucinogens" (that's a misnomer, if there ever was one!) are not drugs, but spirits. People are relating to the whole matter as if it was simply chemicals interacting with the physical brain. I think it's far more complex than that...

[Ali Quadir]

I guess one could consider that they relate to spirits in the same way that our brain chemicals relate to our spirits.

[Monica]

...are not drugs, but spirits. People are relating to the whole matter as if it was simply chemicals interacting with the physical brain. I think it's far more complex than that...

I agree! I am absolutely certain this is true, at least in the case of the plants. I've long asserted that the main difference between the plants (peyote, mushrooms, etc.) vs the synthetics (LSD) is that the plants provide a presence, and can be a spiritual ally, if utilized with the proper attitude of reverence and respect. Based on my experiences with both, I had concluded that messing with the synthetics is essentially like playing a game of Russian Roulette. It's purely a chemical reaction which can open doorways of perception, but the person has very little control as to which doors get flung open. (I say 'very little' because I found out the hard way that the mood one is in upon dropping acid can definitely affect the outcome, over and beyond the quality of the chemical.)

Ole, do you think there is a spirit involved with the synthetics also? I could see how the sythetic might attract spirits, in contrast to the plant allies being spirits themselves. I definitely felt a presence when I did plants...even weed...most especially weed - when I quit for some years then smoked it again, it was like reconnecting with an old friend.

However, after not smoking for some years, and pursuing spiritual clarity, my perception of my experience with pot was that the Mary Jane spirit brought along some friends. It's hard to explain, but I got the distinct impression that there were entities hanging around, and not all of them were benevolent! Being that pot is relatively mild, I never felt seriously threatened as I did with acid, but I definitely felt that if I let down my guard, negative energies could swarm in somehow.

This seemed really strange to me. I was a veteran pot-smoker...used to get high every day for 6 years as a teen. So then quitting for a few years and doing it again should be no big deal, right? And yet it was. I got the distinct impression that conscious entities were communicating with me. I felt their presence quite tangibly. One time, it was almost like an acid trip! Yeah, it was some good weed, but I only took 1 hit! and hey, I did the good stuff back then too. So either pot had gotten stronger by this time, or I had changed. Which is it? Maybe a little of both?

I tend to think the change was with me. There's just no way 1 hit of some hydroponic weed awhile back should have been 10x stronger than getting totally wasted on Sinsemilla 30 years ago...back then I smoked tons more and never had that happen. So I really don't think it was the potency of the weed - we always had good potency back then. I think I changed. As Ra said, more light was let in. I just don't need the pot ally anymore. (Not that I ever needed it, but you know what I mean.) It wasn't pleasant. It felt like I had to do battle, and that's no fun! I was definitely more susceptible to negative greeting, no doubt about it.

Getting back to the subject of spirits, does anyone have any experience or knowledge about Salvia? An old friend mentioned an interest in trying it, and at the time I'd never heard of it. This was a few years ago. Well, it came up again recently (maybe on this thread? not sure) and then I was doing a youtube search for Woodstock footage, and stumbled upon some footage of someone having a bad acid trip. I watched that video, and then more videos popped up, tons more videos, of people having Salvia trips, some of them bummer trips.

Curious, I watched a number of them. Their experiences matched what that other person told me...that they felt instantly thrown into a void, totally black, nothingness.

Say, what??

That sounds totally creepy! Even during my worst acid trip, in which I thought I was literally being consumed by demons, I still knew I was me. I was still aware of where and who I was. But the way they described it, they were actually transported somewhere, totally out of body, and then freaked out because they weren't sure if they could get back. They also described a female, malevolent presence...the same themes of the void and the female presence popped up several times, so it must be common.

There were also stories of seeing aliens...and they definitely weren't good aliens!

The amazing thing is that these people described these experiences as having happened after only 1 hit! So there doesn't seem to be much of a safety valve here...not like with pot where you can do a little and gauge your reaction.

I have never experienced Salvia (and never will!!), but this sounds much more potentially dangerous than even acid, by the sound of it. And apparently it's all the craze with the teens, because it's actually legal! They justify it because it's 'natural' and because the trip only lasts about 20 minutes, but 20 minutes in the void could seem like an eternity, I would think.

And yet, we know that Salvia has been used by shamans. So I am wondering just what kind of spirit ally it is. Evidently, a very powerful one. Undoubtedly the trip could be very beneficial to a shaman who knows what he's doing. But to an unsuspecting teen, just looking for a good time...I shudder at that.

I also shudder at the thought of a Lightworker doing Salvia, not realizing that they might be vulnerable to STS entities trying to snuff out their light. This might be even more potentially dangerous than it would be for the partying teen who is oblivious.

[Ole]

Monica,

I agree! I am absolutely certain this is true, at least in the case of the plants. I've long asserted that the main difference between the plants (peyote, mushrooms, etc.) vs the synthetics (LSD) is that the plants provide a presence, and can be a spiritual ally, if utilized with the proper attitude of reverence and respect. Based on my experiences with both, I had concluded that messing with the synthetics is essentially like playing a game of Russian Roulette. It's purely a chemical reaction which can open doorways of perception, but the person has very little control as to which doors get flung open.

I much prefer to work with plants, too, but I still think that there are certain times when syntethics like LSD are useful too. LSD is much easier to navigate once you get a hang of it, and that means you can avoid shadow work if you want. You can go directly for the light and sometimes that is very valuable. At times you might be too unstable and depressed to face deep issues with, for example, mushrooms, and a little pre-work with LSD can help you get rid of the worst, before you dive in at the deep end later.

In general, I also think that plants tend to have a very distinct and complex personality. You can feel the presence of a very old, wise and loving beeing -- and you can communicate with it. LSD is not like that, it's more transparent without any agenda of its own. Still, I think of it as a spirit, but more of a general presence without much personality. I have felt it disappear abrubtly at times, leaving you surprised and you think you've come down all of a sudden. The visuals are still there, just as strong, but the presence is gone.

If the spirit you meet with plants is actually a plant spirit or something else, I don't know. I interpret it that way, and they say they are, so for the time beeing I assume they're telling the truth. How it really works, I can't say and I don't think it's that important either. I see it as stories I tell myself, sort of a personal mythology, and I use the stories and interpretations to navigate as long as they prove useful.

About Salvia, I have very limited experience with this plant, but I could clearly feel that it's not a plant for beginners. It's very weird that it is sold in porn shops and gas stations as a mild substitute for weed, which it is not. It can be VERY degrounding, and it communicates in very bizarre ways. You need lots of experience with plant communication to get anything useful out of it most times. I found that Salvia can construct physical realities to communicate symbolic things. These realities feel more real than this one, but are not necessarily intended to be taken literally. I've read many stories of people who did just that and ended up very depressed afterwards, because they thought, for example, that their friends were just card board props and not real people. That's more likely a methaphor, and not a literal fact, but I'm sure it can really feel that way. Personally, I don't want to risk messing my head up more than it already is, and I prefer gentler plant teachers.

Traditionally, Salvia is used to discover the root causes of disease. She is a master diagnostician, but not a good healer. She doesn't have much experience in communicating with humans, like Ayahuasca, Iboga and Peyote have. According to the people I know who are able to work with her in a productive way, extracts are not recommended. They are far too strong and the experience is much too abrupt and bizarre for any useful work to take place. Traditionally, fresh or dried leaves are quidded, which gives a slower onset and longer lasting experience which is much easier to work with. Dosage is also easier to control that way.

There's a permanent reverse tolerance effect with Salvia, which means that you'll need less and less to get effects. It requires patience. You need to build a relationship with the plant by approaching it slowly and carefully, and not force her with strong extracts. People with a western mindset usually think of it in terms of dosage and when they feel no effects the first time, they think they must take more and switch to extracts. That can be potentially very traumatizing, when suddenly you get much more than you bargained for. It's often wise to copy the traditional approach at first and I think it's better to work slowly and carefully with oral doses of leaf, at least until you get to know the plant well. No extracts. In time, you'll get to know her, if you feel called to work with this plant. Personally, I decided after one try, that I was not called to work with her.

[peelstreetguy]

I agree with what Ole says about Salvia. From personal experience I know how dangerous salvia is! It is not for the weak of heart or mind. As Ole pointed out, The shamans never make extracts that are 20x stronger and never smoke it. They usually chew a cigar shaped bundle of leaves, which is called a quid.
Here we do smoke strong extracts. Although I don't regret my experiences with Salvia, I do think smoking strong extract is a mistake for most people.
I decided to give up hallucinagens about a year ago because I became a huge target for the ones who wish to put out my light. While on shrooms a year or so ago, I learned how to open my heart chakra fully. Next time I did them, I was able to sit with open chakras and a lot of light running through me. The pure joy (light) is almost too much for me to handle. After an hour or so, I was attacked. It wasn't pretty. My head started buzzing and my hands felt like they were gonna catch on fire they were so hot and I felt like I was having a panic attack and maybe a heart attack. It persisted for about a half an hour.
So now I don't do that anymore.

---

I post this because I'm done with Hallucinogens. I post this to share my experiences.


My Explorations and Thoughts on Hallucinogens

By: peelstreetguy


When I became a teenager, I had my first experience with hallucinogens. I took a hit of acid when I was fifteen. Turns out I liked it and all my friends were into it. It was 1985 and I was becoming a headbanger and listening to heavy metal. At this point in time I started taking acid on a regular basis. Even when at school. At one point, I was doing a hit or two about ten times a month at least, for a few months. I was on acid for every concert I went too as well. I never took more than a few hits at a time. I experienced some mild hallucinations from time to time. By the time 1986 rolled around I had been introduced to Mescaline and Magic Mushrooms. I only did the mesc. A few times because it was hard to find. The mushrooms on the other hand were quite available and I started doing them on a regular basis; Although, unlike the acid, I noticed you could not do the mushrooms two days in a row, because you would not get high the second day. So I resolved to doing them every few days. I went on like that for a few months. Never doing more than a gram at a time. Again, some mild hallucinations from time to time, but nothing too intense. By 1988, I had calmed down on the hallucinogens, only doing them occasionally as the opportunities arose. This paragraph is to explain that I'm far from being a novice when it comes to hallucinogens. During that period of my life, I had gone on well over a hundred trips.
During my late 20's, I had my first major experience. This is what happened to me: I took what I thought was mescaline with some friends. I snorted the whole gram. After which my friend exclaimed something to the effect that I was crazy for doing that much. I told him I could handle a gram of mescaline no problem, to which he responded, “It's not really mescaline, it's PCP”. Holy Crap!!! I would have never done any if I would have known that's what it was. I could hardly tell if I was standing or sitting and felt quite strange. After a while the three of us decided to go down to the river. It was about midnight. So we stumbled together arm in arm, holding each other up, walking to the river. When we got there, we sat in the kiddie park for a little while. Then I got the urge to go stand at the edge of the water. So I left them and went right to the shoreline, where I stood staring straight out across the water. I was still in sight of my friends. now I'm not sure what happened next, except that everything went black. I became aware that I was in the middle of nothingness. There was nothing, not even my own body. I was just conscious of my own consciousness. Then I became aware of an evil presence all around me in the blackness/nothingness. At this point I'm pretty sure I would have s*** myself if I was in my body, which I realized I wasn't. I cannot over emphasize how terrified I was. I was a consciousness outside my body, god knows where, surrounded by a super strong evil presence. Man I thought that was it. I was done for! I called out to god and my mother (who had died a few months before) to help me, begging to be back in my body. Then I saw a shot of light and found myself back in my body at the shoreline. I thought only a few minutes had passed. Still quite high and freaked out, I walked over to my friends who informed me that I had been standing completely motionless at the waters edge for an hour and a half!!! I didn't believe them until I saw his watch which proved it. One interesting thing to note, is that I never lost awareness of who I was. When I woke up the next day I was still high. I was extremely worried that it would never wear off. By the next day I was fine. Strangely enough, I was left with a kind of gift as I call it. Although it has waned a bit over the years I seem to have the ability to detect evil. Evil in thoughts, actions and vibration, in myself and others and in places. Obviously I will never do PCP again and I feel strongly that no one should ever use it!
A few months after The PCP, I found myself holding on to a friends large stash of mushrooms. One night I was able to see any cartoon character I thought of on the bathroom wall. I found this quite amusing. I started doing larger doses because I realized when I did about 4 grams I started to see this mist all around. I started to get the idea that it could open up another dimension or allow me to see into another dimension. This is where my major curiosity and exploration into other dimensions starts. I had quite a few trips during that brief period but nothing more worth noting. In retrospect I realize now that those mushrooms were not that potent. After that period, I moved on in life and found a new place to live. I didn't touch any hallucinogens for over 5 years. Just the usual pot smoking and beer drinking.
Moving on, I find myself living in a new place again and meet new people. Turns out, one of these people knows someone that grows mushrooms. I'm interested. I try some. They are very good. Much better than the ones in my past. I only did .7 of a gram and I could see that mist a little bit. This renewed my curiosity about other dimensions. I decided to start experimenting more seriously with the aim of at least seeing into another dimension. I took several trips over the course of a few months. I started with 3.5 grams the first time and increased the dose every trip until I was up to 7 grams for the last trip. During these trips I saw many things. One thing is always the same. If I sat still, I could see this stuff all around in the air. For lack of a better term, I call it ether. It kind of looks like the reaction between oil and water when you mix them and kind of like yellowish light but keep in mind that it seems etheric. It is unaffected by physical means. I have seen entities come and go in this stuff. Some of them appear to be made of it. I saw two salamander man type creatures once. They seemed to be made of the ether. Their vibration seemed neutral to me and they hung around for about an hour or so. When in this state I can feel the vibes of the entities I encounter. Another time I saw this creature that seemed kind of insectoid like but stranger than that. It was right in front of me and I could see it very clearly. It also seemed to be made of the ether being condensed or something of that sort. I could see right through it, like the ether. At that point in time, it was the clearest manifested entity I had ever seen. It's vibe was like it wanted something from me. I felt like the entity was curious about me and wanted to communicate. I also got the feeling that it wanted to join with me or feed off me or something like that. I told it mentally that it could not. I decided I wanted to get rid of it, so I got up and left the room. When I came back it was gone. It was a little unnerving but I stayed cool. I should mention that while sitting mostly still or moving slowly, I can see this other dimension or whatever it is all around. It's like being in two places at once. It's Like another dimension is super imposed upon this one, and the other dimension is see through. If I move rapidly or walk around a lot, I lose the ability to see the other dimension. There is another type of entity that I have encountered many times. Sometimes there are more than one at a time. I don't like these guys. They have an ugly vibe to them. They are sort of, kind of alien insectoid or something; Although not the same as the entity described earlier. These ones are darker than the ether, kind of blackish. I get the feeling that they would do harm if possible. One day I went to a good friends house and tripped with him. We were sitting there having a good time when I spotted one of the blackish ones. To my amazement he was able to see it to. It was big. It took up a lot of the room we were in. My friend got nervous, he told me to stop paying attention to it and maybe it would go away. That's basically what happened, but a little while later more showed up. I think there was three at one time. I decided to see if I could affect one. I started paying attention to one and it got closer to me. I held my arm up and it got closer. I was looking at the main body of the thing when my friend told me that part of it was moving down my arm and it was at my shoulder. Sure enough, I look at my arm and it had sent out some tendril like thing that was encompassing my hand and arm and got to my shoulder. At that moment I made a defensive gesture, waving my arm. As I did this, silver white sparks were being shot off all over my hand while making that defensive gesture. The thing recoiled and took off. I was amazed by the sparks and so was my friend. He could see it too!!! You have to realize this other dimension as I call it, the ether and the entities, do not seem like hallucinations. I can see it all as clear as the keyboard I'm typing on. The only difference is that it is see through and very strange. Of course I have some hallucinations as well. For example, once my hallway seemed a lot longer than normal and on an incline. Another time me and my buddy were marvelling at my wood floor moving all around. Another time I saw a sun with a smiling face on my wall. I could go on and on, but the point I'm trying to make is that the hallucinations seem like hallucinations. The other dimension does not seem like a hallucination and appears to be somewhat interactive.
Keeping with the chronological order of this report, I will move away from the mushrooms for a bit and describe what happened to me when I discovered Salvia Divinorum. It was Summer 2008. Let me say right off that this stuff makes most of my mushroom trips seem like a walk in the park. This stuff is the apitomy of bizarre!!! I bought some of the dried leaf that was twenty times as potent as normal leaf. The first time I tried it, I got a weird feeling in my head, like a type of invisible force field move around my head for one rotation. Like the second hand of a clock going around the clock face. The second time I tried it I got pulled onto my left side as I sat there on the couch. It was like an invisible tractor beam and it pulled me over. I had never experienced anything like that before. It seemed incredible. I didn't feel high or buzzed, this tractor beam (this is what I call it for lack of a better understanding) just pulled me right over and I was stuck against the couch. After that I realized there was really something to this stuff. So then I tried two hits in the pipe instead of one. The result was the strangest thing that I had ever experienced up till that point in my life. I felt a very strong female presence and the room suddenly started to peel up, starting at the far right corner from where I was sitting. The room peeled up and rolled up almost entirely. It stopped just short of it being gone, I guess because the effect wore off at that moment. I got a peek at what was behind it and there was nothing. It was a black void kind of. When I say the room peeled up and rolled up, I mean it literally. It peeled up just like a sticker would and It (reality) seemed to be incredibly thin like a sticker. This blew my mind! It was so real I couldn't believe it. Completely unlike any type of hallucination I've ever experienced. The effect only lasted a few seconds then I was left with a mild sort of strange although not unpleasant buzz for half an hour. Then I was perfectly fine. I noticed that music or video of any kind made me angry while I was under the influence. The next time I did it, I had a Water bong and a slightly bigger dose. I took and held in one hit as long as possible, exhaled and took another hit. While holding in the second hit, it occurred to me that it seemed like I could hold it forever. Then it hit me! My memory of what happened next is clear in some parts and hazy to non existent in other parts. The first thing that happened is that I felt that pins and needles feeling all over my body and especially my head. It feels like giant pins and needles if you can understand that. The feeling intensifies very rapidly to a point where I explode. It feels like I shattered into a million pieces. At this point I lose consciousness. The person watching over me said I slumped over and was unconscious. Just before I lost consciousness I thought I saw the room peel away and there was nothingness besides a little gnome working away at something, but this memory is very hazy at best. I'm not too sure about that part. The next thing I knew, I was standing in the middle of nothing. I was freaking out! I looked all around and noticed behind me far far away in the blackness/nothingness, The room I used to be in and the person watching over me. I don't remember seeing myself in the room. It looked like my square room lit up far in the distance in the middle of nothingness. I felt really sad and wanted to go back, especially because of my love for the person watching over me. Then I started laughing like I never laughed before. I just realized some kind of cosmic joke or something and I was laughing at myself for having forgot The real reality. Because now it felt like this was the real reality and my normal reality was just an illusion. I Can't tell you how hard I laughed from my heart and how real it was. Like a super reality. After I finished laughing I became aware that I was standing on some sort of platform in the nothingness and I wasn't alone. I felt the strong female presence I had felt in an earlier trip. Standing not far from me was some kind of entity that seemed quite alien to me in appearance. I can't remember what she looked like very well. She was bipedal humanoid shaped. The head and face seemed very strange and I remember the color orange around the rest of the body. I wish I could describe her better but it's very fuzzy in my memory. Anyhow, she speaks to me and says “So,you want to know what it's really like?” When she said this it seemed to be in a mocking sort of way. Not in a nice or cordial way. The next thing I know, Thin giant pages of realities are flying by. Then nothing. I realize that I'm alone again in the middle of nothingness. No platform, no nothing. Then I start to forget who I am. This continues until all I'm aware of is the fact that I exist. That's it! No memory no nothing! I am. That is all! It felt like like I was in that state forever. Time did not exist. The next thing I know, I come to on the couch and quickly realize who and where I am. I was confused for a second then amazed because I had completely forgotten about this existence, This incarnation, this personality. Just as all this is dawning on me, a big vortex of incredibly intense pulsating rings of color appears about eight feet away from me. I see it plain as day like everything else in the room. It is incredibly beautiful, exept for these bizarre red mouths in a ring on the out side. The person watching over me realizes I've come to and says something to me. The mouths all repeat what was said but in a laughing mocking manner. Then I feel that invisible tractor beam and it pulls me from the solar plexus area. It's super strong and it literally pulls me up off the couch and toward the vortex. I can't stop it, It's too strong. So I'm walking into the vortex being pulled by the tractor beam and I'm marveling at the beauty of all the intense fluctuating colors. Then I realize that there is a black hole at the end of the vortex and the vortex is not nearly as long as it seemed from the outside. I'm instantly terrified of going through the black hole and I reach out and grab hold of a nearby piece of furniture and hold on for dear life as the tractor beam keeps up its intensity. The black hole seems to small for me to fit through but I know the tractor beam will do it anyhow. This continues for about five more seconds with me holding on for dear life before the whole thing disappears. I was sure that if I went through that black hole it would have been the end of me. In retrospect, who knows. I think following my gut instincts was the right thing to do. Needless to say, the whole experience was pretty terrifying to me. It left me somewhat traumatized for a while. I'm pretty sure I left my body during that trip. I know it all sounds pretty incredible, but that's what happened.
At this point, I only have two more trips to talk about. They are both mushroom trips. I won't be describing the entirety of them, just the important parts. On October 10 2008, My good friend and I dropped about seven grams each of very potent shrooms. This was to become the best trip I ever had. We were watching a Supertramp concert. I had not eaten supper, so it hit me hard and fast. As I was watching the tv. A huge diamond appears to me, taking up the entire wall the tv is against. It is made of beautiful white/clear light. Inside the diamond are all these beautiful colors of lights moving around. It was so beautiful and I became so full of joy I couldn't believe it. It was so intense the feeling. Tears started streaming down my face profusely. My shirt was wet after because I shed so many tears. While I'm doing that and basking in this incredible joy, I realize that I feel my heart chakra very strongly open, which I had never felt before. I also became aware of an invisible connection or beam between my heart chakra and the diamond. The joy becomes overwhelming and I lean my head back and laugh while the tears continue to stream down my face. As I laugh I see an undulating rainbow come out of my mouth!!! That totally blew me away! I could see it plain as day as well as the diamond. After I stopped laughing I looked back and the diamond was gone. The diamond and the rainbow were as real as any of the entities I've come across. More real if anything. Ever since that experience, I can feel when my heart chakra is open and I'm more aware of it in general. I feel like it's a wonderful gift given to me!!! I often wonder about the significance of the diamond and the rainbow. I met a few other interesting entities that night. While in the bathroom I encountered an entity that appeared to be about two or three feet tall. It was most foreign. I'll try to describe it as best I can. Visually it was constantly shifting, kind of like constant interweaving honeycombs but stranger. On this night I was able to feel vibrations so strongly that I could kind of communicate through feeling and vibration and thoughts. It's like a whole different way of communication. It's really freaky and cool. The entity in the bathroom, which I call the bee entity, had very curious vibes. It seemed very curious about me and somewhat friendly. We exchanged some thoughts/vibes and it's mind was thoroughly strange and alien to me. It also seemed female and I thought it was flirting with me. Yeah, I know, weird! Anyhow I finally left the bathroom and told my buddy about it. I don't think he went to the can for hours. LOL! He did not want to meet her. I met two more entities that night. They were like the complete opposite of each other. First was the nasty one. It was like the ones I talked about which are blackish and have the ugly vibe. This one was big and had a menacing, ugly, more intelligent vibe. I have to admit, it made me very nervous. I didn't tell my friend about it, I just kept thinking at it “go away, you cannot harm us”. The thing was taking up a volume of space about 7 feet by 10 feet by 10 feet. I get the feeling it was much larger and it's body extended outside the room as well. Thank god, it went away. The next entity was smaller. It was about six feet in diameter. I could see the whole entity. The shape was kind of shifting and whitish and had all these little rainbow things around and in it. The rainbows reminded me of Christmas ornaments because it almost seemed as if they were hanging on the entity and it was kind of dancing or flowing. The vibe was pure love and joy from this being. I felt my heart chakra open again and was flooded with joy! The entity left after a few minutes. This trip was incredibly spiritual for me. I'm so happy it happened. Also of note, my friend at one point saw a woman stretched like an arch across the room. He said it was beautiful. That reminds me of Nuit, the Egyptian goddess. He also said that the room was so full of multicolor light for a while that he could hardly stand it because he couldn't make out anything else from his vision.
This brings me to the last trip I did, a few weeks ago. It Started off fine. I was alone and watching a fleetwood Mack concert on dvd. I found it so easy to open my heart chakra and I was sitting there quite blissfully for about an hour. As the dvd ended my significant other came home. We talked for a few minutes then something weird happened. My left hand started to heat up and sweat. It felt like it was going to catch on fire. I thought about my right hand and the same thing happened to my right hand. I managed to shake it off mentally, then I got out another dvd and put it in the player. As I started watching it, I became aware of a vibration of death/fear/evil. Super strong. I didn't see anything. I didn't have to! Next thing I know, my head is buzzing and I feel dizzy. I realized that I was under attack. For a minute or two, I thought I might die. I turned off the dvd. Turned on the lights full blast and started to watch some hockey game on tv that I didn't care about. I was trying to seriously change my head space. It seemed to work. After about an hour I felt like it was gone. I went down stairs to turn off some lights and I encountered one of those insectoid like entities and it seemed to take up the whole room. At that point I realized that I was not in the mood for communication or exploration, so I went back upstairs and continued to watch hockey. I think I willed myself to straighten up and fought the drug for a few hours. During that time I wrote down some thoughts about the drug. This is some of what I wrote: This drug is a being unto itself I suspect. It definitely has its own feel/vibe/being. Know you can use it, but it uses you as much as you use it if not more. It does open doors to other places/things. But it is an entity to itself at the same time. Salvia has it's feel, so do the shrooms have their own feel. I'm convinced they feed off our thoughts/vibes. What we feel is an anaesthetic effect of the organism. Like a spider biting an insect. One side effect is this seeming ability to see/interact with other beings. Which is very dangerous. I feel like I'm infected with an alien organism! It's like it wants to meld with me, but this time I don't give in. The result is mental unease to say the least. The result makes me tired. Now if I fall asleep it will feed off me at will, off my energy. This stuff is an alien parasite! I think it wishes to consume us in order to understand/know us. The anaesthetic effect numbs us and helps it to feed. All our normal defences are put to the side! The filter is gone! I know understand that the mental filter works two ways. It keeps our mental crap in and keeps outside mental influences out. Remember that there are a bunch of things happening at the same time.
I don't know if I agree with my above statements while under the influence, but I suspect I'm close. I do not plan to use any of these so called hallucinogens again. I'm more interested in starting to meditate and see where that brings me. I do not advocate the use of any of the drugs I have mentioned. I'm lucky things turned out ok in the long run. I've seen people completely lose it once the filter is gone. All the crap in their head ( the skeletons in the closet) that they normally keep to themselves is all of a sudden flooding out of their mouths. As well they become affected by negative outside influences and start acting very weird. I've seen it happen to quite a few people. I find that people who are more positively polarized don't have this problem nearly as much.
I decided to write this when I realized that I was through with hallucinogens. I write it hoping to understand it better myself and to shed some light on the subject for others who are curious about hallucinogens. Thank you for reading my report. Comments and insights by anyone who reads this would be appreciated.