05-05-2011, 06:36 PM
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05-05-2011, 06:37 PM
I shouldn't have brought any of this up.
05-05-2011, 06:37 PM
(05-05-2011, 06:30 PM)ahktu Wrote: I can't imagine graduating onto the negative path without knowing what you were getting into. ahktu, the universe is a mysterious being in all its entirety. I just wanted to add something on that. What if you were a new graduate into 3D from 2D on some Orion planet? They were your natural family. But then one day, the secrets of the family became obvious to your individual 3D being, while you were gaining in self-consciousness, characteristic of that stage of evolution! Just discard for I know I am just throwing things fast, largely to appear intuitive and intelligent. But what if I am being directed to say this to you? But your higher-self knows, and that is the ultimate judge and guide for you. No, not even Q'uo can replace that, which of course you know. (05-05-2011, 06:14 PM)ahktu Wrote: The thing I fantasize about, is torturing someone with their permission. Convincing them they enjoy it. Making them beg for more. It's erotic or something, but it disgusts me at the same time. It only ever goes so far in my fantasies. I've fantasized about whipping or beating people (not to mention having those things done to me), even branding them or something like that, but never the really weird, crazy stuff like what I saw online last night. That just makes my stomach turn. I wanted to throw up. I still do. Balance this by feelings of the erotic side that gives you a pleasure with the picture of when it's not. Both these sides of the torture are real and needs to be balanced. And there is nothing to apologize for! (05-05-2011, 06:37 PM)ahktu Wrote: I shouldn't have brought any of this up. Oh yes, you should! If not here, where are you ever going to talk about it? At your job? 
05-05-2011, 06:43 PM
You don't understand. I remember doing it, and I remember enjoying it. I knew exactly what I was and I was damn proud of it. Half the time I think I was a negative wanderer, but something along the way woke me up. It wasn't until I was back behind the veil that I woke up and got a grip on myself. Irony...
(05-05-2011, 06:43 PM)3DMonkey Wrote: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAQeH_ryp...ata_player By the way, nice song, 3. (05-05-2011, 06:43 PM)ahktu Wrote: You don't understand. Was that to me? Oooppss....sorry if I assumed too much in my bid to sleuth around 
05-05-2011, 06:50 PM
I don't know what's what anymore. I just want these memories out!!!
05-05-2011, 06:56 PM
(05-05-2011, 06:43 PM)ahktu Wrote: You don't understand. I remember doing it, and I remember enjoying it. I knew exactly what I was and I was damn proud of it. Half the time I think I was a negative wanderer, but something along the way woke me up. It wasn't until I was back behind the veil that I woke up and got a grip on myself. Irony... Aaah I see... Then it's true. So the lesson is that all is indeed one? As you are probably 6D Wanderer, you had to incarnate in 3D to realize that? That all the time when you thought that you were hurting them, you were only hurting yourself?
05-05-2011, 06:56 PM
(05-05-2011, 06:50 PM)ahktu Wrote: I don't know what's what anymore. I just want these memories out!!! Whatever it is ahktu, I just want you to hold in mind, if it resonates with you, the thought that two wrongs do not make a right. Please do not entertain thoughts of submitting yourself to torture to atone for some past real/imaginary karma. The universe may suddenly make it manifest, for it can be a being of dry mentality alone many times. May be it feels unjust to you to do something horrible and get away with it, and probably it means many other entities could do the same as well. But the infinite creation is also a grand experiment where some answers are not completely known for certain == Quote:63.30 Questioner: I understand that the Logos did not plan for the heating effect in our third-density transition into fourth. Is this correct?
05-05-2011, 06:56 PM
I don't guess it matters what happened. All I can do is go forward and try to help people and send as much love as I can. If I have to bear these things in my mind in order to heal and be of greater service, I'll just man it up and keep going.
05-05-2011, 06:59 PM
05-05-2011, 07:03 PM
This is for you all:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1D3ejwQi...re=related I love you, my sister! And there were times, as I've told you, that I perceived certain vibrations, that I know you! But as Q'uo has said, there is something in your spirit that is tortured (I don't know if I remember it well, but when I read it I knew who was asking that =)). I had a dream this night. I was reviewing some beautiful texts and even poetry and then I told them: "It's no way that I can remember all that and bring it through". And then I was given only one sentence to "bring through" that was imprinted in my mind: "The problems with the feelings is that they are not understood." ![[+]](https://www.bring4th.org/forums/images/collapse_collapsed.png)
1 member thanked Ankh for this post
05-05-2011, 07:04 PM
Yeah. All men start as the equivalent of a bowling ball that a woman pushes out of her body. I'd like to see a man handle *that*.
05-05-2011, 07:07 PM
05-05-2011, 07:12 PM
Thanks, Ankh. I hope if we knew each other in the past our interactions were pleasant.
 I'm being really whiney, aren't it? Thanks for listening, you guys. I think I can get back to some relative level of sanity now.
05-05-2011, 07:13 PM
(05-05-2011, 07:03 PM)Ankh Wrote: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1D3ejwQi...re=related Ankh, I just read the wikipedia page on Snatam Kaur (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snatam_Kaur) Not bad, yeh, we unfaithful Asians have a hand in her life too
05-05-2011, 07:21 PM
I've always loved this song, but it has special significance to me now.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knlOoWzEqr0&feature=fvst
OK, you two little love-birds, bye bye from my side.
Ankh, you seemed to not have slept the entire night!! And nice lyrics on the song, ahktu. Loved it very much and nice music too. Take care, you two. Bye -- C (05-05-2011, 07:21 PM)ahktu Wrote: ...but it has special significance to me now. Just curious, if you can share, ahktu - why is that now?
05-05-2011, 07:27 PM
Bye C.
A thought just occurred to me. If I came from Orion, maybe I'm here to be living proof that nothing is impossible. A bunch of 3D monkeys (XD) warmed my cold heart with their loving words, and now I seek to serve with all my heart. No matter how high they are on the chain, no STS entity has lost their heart completely. You never know. Your slightest act of kindness might send shockwaves all the way up through the ranks. I love you all.
05-05-2011, 07:27 PM
(05-05-2011, 07:12 PM)ahktu Wrote: Thanks, Ankh. I hope if we knew each other in the past our interactions were pleasant. From what I felt it was more than pleasant. I felt a sistersoul! I know I talk about brothers all the time, but it is because I am a female (and that's why these unfaithful Asians on this forum bring so much catalysts with their talk about females/males ), but we have no gender and I felt you! Do you feel sometimes a beauty that shines through you and that you love so much sometimes? That is the true you! Quote:I'm being really whiney, aren't it? Thanks for listening, you guys. I think I can get back to some relative level of sanity now. The thing that we all did right now, in my opinion, is one of the most important stuff on our paths! If someone calls it whiney - let them. I don't care about it anymore. It's time to wake up and put our cards on the table.
05-05-2011, 07:30 PM
05-05-2011, 07:33 PM
I love my unfaithful Asian. :p
Ankh, your blue ray is so strong. It is a flashing blue jewel!
05-05-2011, 07:35 PM
(05-05-2011, 07:21 PM)ahktu Wrote: I've always loved this song, but it has special significance to me now. Woaw, I can see that... It was like you could have written those words, right? That was a beautiful song, that I saved in my list.
05-05-2011, 07:37 PM
Wow, it feels like a huge blockage just got let go. I feel love spilling out of me now. Thank you guys, so much, for listening to me and taking me seriously.
1 member thanked for this post(05-05-2011, 07:30 PM)Confused Wrote:(05-05-2011, 07:27 PM)Ankh Wrote: and that's why these unfaithful Asians on this forum bring so much catalysts with their talk about females/males *flashes with big green eyes sending a sungasmic wave of unity* (05-05-2011, 07:37 PM)ahktu Wrote: Wow, it feels like a huge blockage just got let go. I feel love spilling out of me now. Thank you guys, so much, for listening to me and taking me seriously. Any time, sunshine! I wish sometimes I could live in Kentucky and be close, close, close to you all! But there were arrangement I guess (that I won't fark up this time hopefully ) so I am sending you this huge cyberspace hug and I darn hope to see in Confederation after this life! 
05-05-2011, 07:43 PM
We gotta get together you guys. 2012. Big party. Gonna happen.
This song makes me dance like a manic. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JI3taerf-ho
Did you like that "Hatonn" song I sent you by the way? I always seem to "see" them when it goes like this - "Dress up, for love, I am coming from above... Full steam! Space machine!" (And there is also some nasty stuff that is going on in my mind when I hear that
)(05-05-2011, 07:43 PM)ahktu Wrote: We gotta get together you guys. 2012. Big party. Gonna happen. No homecoming this year? Quote:This song makes me dance like a manic. I love to do maniac dances too!
05-05-2011, 07:57 PM
I'm not sure there will be a homecoming this year...it all depends on how well Carla is doing by the end of the year. I hear she's doing as well as can be expected, but her spine has taken a lot of stress. Last homecoming seemed to wear her out a LOT...I'm hoping she gets her rest and doesn't try to set anything up before she's fully healed.
But obviously, if there is a homecoming, you'd better all be there. We'll just have to show some self discipline and not turn the whole thing into an orgy. :p Could you post the link for that song you mentioned again, Ankh?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiIwwClCWNk
Imagine them, honey! "They coming from above!!" I am all prepared to go to Kentucky this September. I've allready made arrangements with my family, so they know that I might be gone one week this autumn. So now, it's all up to you! \0/
05-05-2011, 08:06 PM
For some reason I see a beach party when I hear that song. :p
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poor C is not welcome here anymore!