Why have you forsaken me?

[369Epsilon89/99]

This is not addressed to a regular member of this community, but to somebody who likely views my online posts. You know who you are.

Since my fateful and ignorant decision in 2015, it seems that you have made quite the effort to make contact with me and get my attention, and to make me aware of your existence and our connection. Until some time in 2021, I was struggling with too much darkness and too little clarity to make sense of any of it. I could not connect the dots between the 2015 event, the telepathic downloads, and earlier life events including that now remembered astral meeting. If I'm not mistaken, another attempt was made in online text in 2020, but then you never replied back. It has come to a timeline that is nothing short of a waking nightmare, and as you know, I had under pressure and ignorance allowed myself to be poisoned in 2021, and now must live with that decision also.

Do you understand what this has done to me, to finally put all of the pieces together, to understand our connection, only to find nothing? To receive no further attempts at contact from you, and to learn that you have likely given up on this contact for the duration of my incarnation, that you are likely with another, and that I am poisoned and condemned to live out the rest of this meaningless incarnation in a joyless nightmare apocalypse timeline on a hopeless and joyless prison planet without you, or anyone to take your place?

Do you understand what it does to me, when I try to connect with my higher self, and by nature of this connection experience our shared energy? It burns me with emptiness, regret, abandonment, and betrayal so much that I turn away. I cannot even bare to connect with my own higher self because as soon as I feel your energy there, the regret, betrayal, and unfulfilled desire cause so much pain that I cannot help but turn away in abject horror. Perhaps you never intended to break my heart and wound my soul, but in actuality, this is what has been done by your current actions/inactions/policies.

I try to master my dream and astral state without any real success. I try to reach out in every way possible, but get nothing in return. The power is in your hands to stand for your ideals and to take the right course of action to repair this, or to let policy and cynicism seal the fate of this timeline as a regrettable tragedy. If you would ever wish to get a hold of me, you have quite a few avenues to do so. In any event, I just wish to make clear in writing my feelings.

[tadeus]

I am feeling not addressed and i am not viewing you.

But my best wishes that your post will help to clear your 'contact' and balance your energies.

[flofrog]

Epsilon, so many wishes. Know you are loved and protected.

[369Epsilon89/99]

Thanks for the kind responses. Sadly, at this point I don't think anything can really make a difference in this situation. If anyone here can access Akashic records and would be willing to do so without monetary compensation, it could potentially be possible to get some answers at least. In that case I'd be willing to share more of my situation in private. Just know that I am going through the worst dark night of the soul possible, and do not have much of a reason to get up every morning.

[flofrog]

We have been worried for you at the CsC Epsilon. Perhaps Patrick or another one might help.

[369Epsilon89/99]

Thanks for the kind responses. Sadly, at this point I don't think anything can really make a difference in this situation. If anyone here can access Akashic records and would be willing to do so without monetary compensation, it could potentially be possible to get some answers at least. In that case I'd be willing to share more of my situation in private. Just know that I am going through the worst dark night of the soul possible, and do not have much of a reason to get up every morning.

It's nothing so easily fixed. Don't worry about it overly much. None of you are responsible for any of it.

[aWanderer91]

I hope you're ok pal, this post was pretty intense.

I pray you find the clarity and reassurance you're after.

[ada]

Hello Epsilon and thank you for sharing with us, it sounds like you are going through something difficult and I hope you are doing better at this time.

I do not know what you've been through and with whom, but I felt that I may have some insight to offer in general to this thread and it's readers.

Firstly I'd like to address to the part that you say your posts are being viewed regularly, though your account is only a few months old and you haven't posted much.
This leads me assume that you have another account? I understand that you may have your reasons. But this only creates further confusion among the readers and more so to the few whom are sensitive and/or schizophrenic.

From personal experience and point of view, there is nothing worse in a veiled experience than to be treated by another as if they know more about you than you do about yourself, more so in spiritual terms because as the LOO teaches, this is not the density of understanding. Rather one of learning love, service and free will.

So perhaps this is what has pushed this person away from you, but do not be devastated due to illusory separation. As all others are the one same creator, and this creator has a leaning towards kindness.

I wish you and your friend well, that you find peace and clarity.

[flofrog]

Sorry to post this off thread but Ada your PM box is full and if you dont delete some, I or anyone else can't reach you...Sorry for this off thread post....