I have written this while distressed

[Celestial]

Just delete between the lines if you need to,
but things are here for a reason.
in between, what is there,
do you really believe there is a new world?
what authority would that belief hold over the new world.
SERVE THE CREATOR.
SERVE THE CREATOR.
WHO IS THE CREATOR.

TO PROPOSE THE OPPOSITE OF WHOM WE IDOLISE.
(to provide contrast)

I AM UN LOVC(UNLOVED?)
I AM NOT NEEDED BY ANY OF YOU. MAYBE I SHOULD JUST TRY THEM. THAT WILL BRING ME CLOSER TO TO MY FATE. WHO KNOWS WHAT HE WAS GOING THROUGH. THE TRUTH IT (is) STRANGER THAN FICTION. IT MAKES SENSE. MY LOVERS. BUT IT IS NOT WHOLE. WE WE HAVE YET TO MEET TOGETHER, THOUGH WHAT DO I KNOW? I THINK OF POSTING THIS UPON YOUR FORUM AS WE SPEAK AND THIS IS WHAT GIVES ME MY CLARITY. THE SYMBOLS WHICH COMMUINCATE TO THOSE WHICH HAVE FELT UPON MY PAIN TO RESPOND AND LEND THEIR ENERGY?  BUT TO WHAT POIN IN TIME? IT IS ALL USELESS, I PREY UPON THE NIGHT LIKE A STS BUT HAVE HE NO EVIDENCE BUT FOR SUCH INTENTION. I ON RAY FOR THE lOF ALL. FOR OUR gOD TO COME UPON US TO CAST AWAY OUR VRNING FLESH .

Code:

ER STRS LL ONR SVVOFINH YOTS. EHRTR EILL YHID RNF/ HOW MANY OF US COULD HAVE ENDED IN THIS TIME? IT'S ALL JUST GIBBERISH TO ME BEFORE. I LAY HERE IN DESPERATION. IF i LIE TO AN ANMAL OR SILENT IN PRAYER WHAT COULD POSSIBLY ANSER ME? AM i SILENT IN PRAYER TO HUMAN OR TO LAY IN SUPER STUTUIOUS HOPE OF THOSE WHO ARE ABOVE ME. MY HEART IS EMPTY. RA, MY HEART IS EMPT. I LAY HERE, TYPING, IN THE LAME OF CHARIST, LAITOSRA AAND i KNO THERE IS MORE THAT I MUST GRAPSP. I WOULD JUST BE TOLD BY ADEPT THAT I AM JUSMYSTERIOUSLY APPEALING T YOU. BUT WHO IS TO STAY IF YOU ARE REALLY HERE IF YOU ARE NOT. I COULD BE TYPING ENDLESSLY TO TYPS OF NOTHING TO KEYBOARD FINGLERS CLATCKERING AWAY TO NOTHING AND HERE I AM CRYING TO YOU. what am i, ra? i SURRENDER, TO ALL ENTITIES OF THOTH AND THOSE BEFORE HIM , DOCTOR OR OTHERISEWE, FOR IT SEEMS HE HAS NO POWER. I GOT BURSNED. iT SEEMED i  MUST SIMPLY ACCEPT THE IMMATUREY, ACCEPT THE BURN. i LOVE YOU. i LOV/LIGHT I LOVE/LIGHT. iT IS COMING FOR ME, FOR ALL THAT IS SEEMES TO SEE E AS PREDATOR. i LOE/LIGHT, i LOVE/LIGHT.

I'm sorry. I just wanted you to read it. You know that we all must face judgement. I don't know when the end is, but I know that it's something we all have to face. It just makes sense to me that we all sooner face it here than elsewhere. It makes me realise, what does it really matter what we say in symbols? What we say in symbols is just one side of this story. All of us need love. We are all here to realise that all of us need love. Is it those of us on Earth? On Venus? On Mars? Who is it that our creator determined worthy of love? No, this is not determined by our flesh and blood, by our religious belifes. Yes, I stand here in the same spot that I stand as a child, overcome by what they have taught me to believe myself as. YES. I AM SYMBOL. I AM SYMBOL OF THOTH. THOTH, THE PHYSICIAN. Yet when I search or him in our material world, he is the imparter of widsom. Wisdom does not heal me, wisdom imparts truth to my brain.

Yet I choose not to to believe that this is the end. And if it is I fight.4

I may delete all of this. I have been crying for hours with no real understanding. Please know you have absolute permission to connect to my energy and determine the cause of the obvious blockage. I understand it may be wise, and more that one person to fix, and even if you cannot fix it, just information will assist in my trying to deal with it (as it is a part of me), I don't think it feels any less trapped than I do.

This happens a lot. I've read the above and I realise that there are a lot of grammatical errors. It's just because I feel lost and am moving towards the abyss. The light of the laptop screen counts as photons, right? I've read that entities of the confederation (whom I still love), seek to place us into positions of negative time/space where it would take us a long time to reach the creator. Now to me, this is such a great sin, because not only is the time between us of third density to sixth/seventh density such a long time, but to say to such a being (I LOVE YOU) because my mother loved me may not be any sense at all. It may be a distant sound in an echo chamber, my consciousness may be nothing but an expression of sin.

Where else can I express that? Sure, many of you may connect and immediately sense the negative energy. But I love that, do you not see? For me to love and love without that would be to depart and leave without a part of myself which I love you.
Even if you are there, behind all pain, behind the time I sit behind the leaves, satisfied upon my suffering, I love you.

But more than likely it is delusion. I just have nowhere to post this. Behind this I am behind my own eyes, prayng to Laitos, praying to Yadda, praying to Ra. Praying for Darkness to be revealed to me. Praying for Darkness to make sense so that I may relate to other humans. The Light is GOOD. But we have been deceived somehow, I am not smart enough to know. I have somehow been deceived into the belief that the light is good, but the Darkness is Truth, and that its Truth somehow...

I am sorry. I don't mean to be pretentious either. I depend on you. You as a part of me, I depend on death as a part of life but I am not here for you yet

[ada]

I think you may be going through what they call in spiritual terms the 'dark night of the soul'.
Also I think that 3rd density is such an experience cloaked in darkness, or rather it only seems as if you and all else are separate, and in such a seemingly lonely and painful experience, we grow in love and light, discover the compassion within us towards all things. But that has to start with you, remember that the healer does not heal, only you may allow the intelligent energy of the creator to flow through and heal you.
I'm sorry for the pain you are going through, and I hope you will rise above ever brighter. Nothing is lost, and all is well.

[Sacred Fool]

But more than likely it is delusion. I just have nowhere to post this. Behind this I am behind my own eyes, prayng to Laitos, praying to Yadda, praying to Ra. Praying for Darkness to be revealed to me. Praying for Darkness to make sense so that I may relate to other humans. The Light is GOOD. But we have been deceived somehow, I am not smart enough to know. I have somehow been deceived into the belief that the light is good, but the Darkness is Truth, and that its Truth somehow...

The good news is that none of us are smart enough to know.  Our task here, Confederation sources say, is to become stretched out to the place where we realise this.  Forward movement is not found by conscious planning...or else you'd be there already.

 

The challenge is not to know the way forward rationally, but to find within you--hidden in the turmoil--the level of awareness of self which you are now ready discover.  You may find darkness and lightness, but that which will truly meet you and satisfy you is the experience of self hidden in this hall of mirrors, held behind the layers of Maya which show you just little flickers of your deeper self.  Seek the fullness of self, not the flickers.

[ada]

The Creator interacting with itself in infinity.

[greenl8]

Truth is subjective and there's no right or wrong.

It's your creation and you have infinite time to get it right.

There's only one choice to make though.

[tadeus]

It's true - this planet will not be a pony farm for the next years.
It's the time of split and isolation and to decease. That's the reason it is called the Great Reset.

But there where many other dark times in the history, like the world wars.
This is 'only' the third part of the first war that doesn't really end up to now.
It is a kind of war the human kind did never experience before.
See it as a new form of catalyst - the final one, that must end in an transformation of the world.

Only the people that resist and somehow accept this catalyst will survive.
But this people will do it with a new consciousness.
Hopefully the totalitarianism will fail and love will win.

So i can only send my love to you my brother.
Your feelings are normal when you are awake with open eyes in such times, but it is possible to overcome them by acceptance of the play.
See it as a game that have to be played in this incarnation. Choose your role and win the game.

[Celestial]

I just want to say I don't agree with what StS do to people. It is disgusting. I was overcome with emotion because I could not conceive that anything should be lost. That is not a pass for it to be okay and I don't condone it. I don't think it was implied in my post that it is condoned, but it is severe enough that I wanted to clarify it.

[tadeus]

Of course it is disgusting - satanism is disgusting.
But that's the way STS is.

It's 'just' the opposite polarity and all is one.
So we are 'just' on the wrong planet at the wrong time.

[Spiritual Ronin]

As much as I exist as STO to serve I understand the need to understand and love STS as it provides for us the greatest opportunity for catalyst. Your struggle is immense, your writing is filled with the emotion of a soul in anguish. I want you to know that I feel it, at least some of it. You are not alone in this. This is a plan that was agreed upon by all of us prior to incarnation and even you are a Willing participant. Even this turmoil was delicately and meticulously planned in potentiation. You found your way to it and now must Wade through its waters. May you take the time to ponder this immense opportunity for catalyst and come out the other side wiser and with more understanding.

[tadeus]

With the knowledge of Ra i am feeling that there can be maybe to much catalyst and to less opportunity.
There is a growing lack of respect to the free will of the beings.
Is there really a sense to push a big portion of them into a new incarnation?

This is a planet with a mixture of the beings, that had already problems to choose.
The time of the harvest has been exceeded and this coming totalitarianism shall be the optimum solution for it?

[369Epsilon89/99]

The insidiousness of the false light path is that it promotes suffering as a virtue and joy as something with little intrinsic value. Breaking from this mindset may be key in getting to a self empowered state where you feel better about your life and path.

[tadeus]

Yes - this way you are not compelled to ignore what is happening.

You choose what is right from your point of view and concentrate on the path of light and joy, without to dismiss the path of the others.
You have not to feel bad for the choice of other selves, because you are not responsible for their choice - although we are one.

[flofrog]

Celestial, probably most of us here, have gone through something similar. You are not alone, and it fades away, keep faith, much much love friend.