How to properly cut cords with somebody?

[EvolvingPhoenix]

I know the means by which I can reconcile with my ex-friend but at this point, I just want to let go of her and stop caring about all the past mistakes and rejections I've had to deal with regarding her and just move on. I'm thinking of cutting the cord between us, but would like to do it effectively and safely and would like to know what the consequences may be if I do.

Normally, I would email Agua about this, but he'll be away until mid-December.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

And now I'm watching this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiAGh5L1Zg4

And it seems like cord cutting is a bad idea, although she seems to advocate cord removal. I'll check it out.

[Glow]

And now I'm watching this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiAGh5L1Zg4

And it seems like cord cutting is a bad idea, although she seems to advocate cord removal. I'll check it out.

https://www.shamanscave.com/self-healing...pitulation

I have done this and it works. I have one person I never fully recapped even though they are a "trouble spot" even partial recap helped.

I would 100% recommend doing it though to fully recap the energy between you an another it is fairly lengthy. Recap memories, songs, body parts that have connections stored with in them, smells, wounds.. ect

It works it is how real shamans can become so free of attachment that they become no one but a container for the universe. Obviously we regular folks do not go to that extent. Recapping trauma and past relationships even current ones that need to change really help.
Cords come back. Energy only reattaches after recap if you chose to reattach

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Thank you Glow. That was very helpful.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Funny. As I was reading, I felt compelled to look at the clock and saw this -- 11:11. Huh.

[BastionPath]

Remember, that most attachments are two fold. She may have an attachment to some aspect of you. And so you may be guiding her and calling into your life experiences which help you guide her in spirit. So don't fret over much about it.

[BastionPath]

This is relative to your level of STO. If you're highly STO, then you'll manifest lessons that inform her. If you're balanced, then you manifest your lessons. If you're STS, then others manifest your lessons for you.

So if you want to truly cut cords, you have to reach a lower level of STO. To the point where it's love and respect for the self, and the earnest desire that each learn their own lessons, and stop the kind of vampiric type of relationship that high levels of STO cause. It's great if you're around similarly highly STO individuals, but if you're communicating with STS individuals (most attractive females have to adopt this stance in today's culture), then becoming highly balanced is a priority.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

I do not believe they "have to" adopt STS ways, but they are encouraged to by modern western culture, and therefor often do. To point this out however WILL get you labeled as a "mysogynist" so beware of that.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Remember, that most attachments are two fold. She may have an attachment to some aspect of you. And so you may be guiding her and calling into your life experiences which help you guide her in spirit. So don't fret over much about it.

f*** that. If We're done, then let us be done. You don't coldly shut me out of your life but still get "guidance in spirit" from me. I intend to make recapitulation a daily part of my life and remove any energetic ties between us. If that's to her detriment somehow (and that's a big if) then oh fuckin well, too fuckin bad. Not my concern.

Glow, if I recapitulate enough to remove all her energy from my life, what (if any) impact would this have on her? Would she also lose energy from associations with me? Or will she still be personally carrying any energy related to me in her life which would in itself need recapitulating? Just curious.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

I should also point out that while many females in modern society are encouraged to engage in STS dynamics and forsake their feminine energy for masculine energy, this particular female is at the very least NOT STS and is quite the nice, caring person for the most part, and is in touch with her feminine nature. She is not "vampyryc" to me or anybody else.

[Glow]

Remember, that most attachments are two fold. She may have an attachment to some aspect of you. And so you may be guiding her and calling into your life experiences which help you guide her in spirit. So don't fret over much about it.

f*** that. If We're done, then let us be done. You don't coldly shut me out of your life but still get "guidance in spirit" from me. I intend to make recapitulation a daily part of my life and remove any energetic ties between us. If that's to her detriment somehow (and that's a big if) then oh fuckin well, too fuckin bad. Not my concern.

Glow, if I recapitulate enough to remove all her energy from my life, what (if any) impact would this have on her? Would she also lose energy from associations with me? Or will she still be personally carrying any energy related to me in her life which would in itself need recapitulating? Just curious.

It sends their energy back to them and yours comes back to you.


Honestly if she needs lessons and you have learned enough from your exchange that you are now finished partaking the universe will bring others into her life who need what she will teach and can continue the lessons she needs to be present in her life.

No worries.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

So recapitulating her would be beneficial for the both of us then?

[Glow]

I do not believe they "have to" adopt STS ways, but they are encouraged to by modern western culture, and therefor often do. To point this out however WILL get you labeled as a "mysogynist" so beware of that.

Modern western culture promotes STS ideals so I think we can leave out the sex bias part. Money, things, prestige, power, .... it’s the basis of the system much everywhere unfortunately but also off topic.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

True. We're ALL encouraged to live badly. From the cradle to the grave, we are programmed to live in such ways.

This woman (fortunately) does not seem very STS although she (like most people) remains somewhere within the sinkhole of indifference. Still, she's a lot nicer and more mature than most. And a lot less affected by such programming than most.

Still, just wanna clarify: recapitulating her would be MUTUALLY beneficial for us, yes?

[Glow]

So recapitulating her would be beneficial for the both of us then?

I guess that depends on interpretation. If you saw them everyday they would likely be a bit disturbed by the difference in connection because your way of interacting will change but someone who you do not socialize with in person likely will not notice, or may notice but not know what they are noticing.

Ultimately everything can be used for good or ill(growth or stagnation) depending on the the readiness and awareness of the individual.

It just sends her energy back. It won’t do her harm.

[BastionPath]

Remember, that most attachments are two fold. She may have an attachment to some aspect of you. And so you may be guiding her and calling into your life experiences which help you guide her in spirit. So don't fret over much about it.

f*** that. If We're done, then let us be done. You don't coldly shut me out of your life but still get "guidance in spirit" from me. I intend to make recapitulation a daily part of my life and remove any energetic ties between us. If that's to her detriment somehow (and that's a big if) then oh fuckin well, too fuckin bad. Not my concern.

Glow, if I recapitulate enough to remove all her energy from my life, what (if any) impact would this have on her? Would she also lose energy from associations with me? Or will she still be personally carrying any energy related to me in her life which would in itself need recapitulating? Just curious.

Yes you do. It's how all of reality works.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

So recapitulating her would be beneficial for the both of us then?

I guess that depends on interpretation. If you saw them everyday they would likely be a bit disturbed by the difference in connection because your way of interacting will change but someone who you do not socialize with in person likely will not notice, or may notice but not know what they are noticing.

Ultimately everything can be used for good or ill(growth or stagnation) depending on the the readiness and awareness of the individual.

It just sends her energy back. It won’t do her harm.

Considering I was an energy vampyr to her, I would say sending her her energy back sounds like a good thing to me. Thanks for this Glow.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Yes you do. It's how all of reality works.

Not once I'm fully done recapitulating her ass. After that, she's getting nothing from me, spiritually or otherwise.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

And like you said, I'd have to be highly STO for that to happen. Well I'm not. So she can manifest her own damn life lessons. Or the universe can manifest it for her. I refuse to do anything for someone who refuses to have anything to do with me.

[BastionPath]

Yes you do. It's how all of reality works.

Not once I'm fully done recapitulating her ass. After that, she's getting nothing from me, spiritually or otherwise.

Recapitulating her ass? Could it be the other way around? Do you communicate and empathize with this person? Or do you just lose your s***?

[EvolvingPhoenix]

No, I do not communicate with this person. I CAN'T communicate with this person. This person has shut me out of her life completely, and admittedly for good reason. But if she wants nothing to do with me, then I want nothing to do with her. I went through a lot of pain over the friendship breakup and since she refuses to accept any apologies, I have to move on. Now I don't want to harm her, but I feel if you're going to completely shut me out of your life with no chance for reconciliation, I don't owe it to you to provide "spiritual guidance" I don't consent to that and I don't wanna do that. She needs to be recapitulated. I've gone through too much hell over this. I'm getting rid of all energetic ties and then she and I should have NOTHING to do with each other, since that's the way she wants it. As for whether it's her being recapitulated or the other way around, I couldn't care less. As long as I'm over her, that's all that matters. But if I'm to be thrown in the trash by this woman, I don't wanna provide any spiritual service for her. Least of all if it's being done automatically without my consent.

[Signifyz]

No, I do not communicate with this person. I CAN'T communicate with this person. This person has shut me out of her life completely, and admittedly for good reason... ...I don't owe it to you to provide "spiritual guidance" I don't consent to that and I don't wanna do that...

So what's the problem of simply not being spiritual guidance for her?

[EvolvingPhoenix]

I don't like the idea that I'm treated as worthless and cast aside, but she still gets something from me, even though she does nothing for me and has no positive regard towards me. Maybe that's selfish and not STO, bit like I said, I'm not very STO. I, like many, lie within the sinkhole of indifference. In general, I just dont like the thought of helping somebody who shamed me and cast me out of their life in a cruel manner. It doesn't seem fair to me. If you completely cut me out of your life, refuse to recpncile forgive or accept apologies and refuse to have anything to do with me, then I shouldn't be doing s*** to help you out with your life. That's just not fair to me. You forfeit the right to that when you tell me to never contact you again and block me everytime I try to apologize and reestablish contact.

[Signifyz]

I don't like the idea that I'm treated as worthless and cast aside, but she still gets something from me, even though she does nothing for me and has no positive regard towards me. Maybe that's selfish and not STO, bit like I said, I'm not very STO. I, like many, lie within the sinkhole of indifference. In general, I just dont like the thought of helping somebody who shamed me and cast me out of their life in a cruel manner. It doesn't seem fair to me. If you completely cut me out of your life, refuse to recpncile forgive or accept apologies and refuse to have anything to do with me, then I shouldn't be doing s*** to help you out with your life. That's just not fair to me. You forfeit the right to that when you tell me to never contact you again and block me everytime I try to apologize and reestablish contact.

If you were answering me, this hardly answers my question.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

"What's the peoblem of simply NOT being spiritual guidance for her?"

None. No problem whatsoever with simply NOT being spiritual guidance for her.

[Glow]

EP have you considered the anger you feel is at yourself not her.

Seems you admit she is quite good and you mistreated her. At some point we do have to put up boundaries when someone constantly impacts our mental health. Doing so becomes an unfortunate and painful necessity.

Might be able to work through the anger if you focus on the correct person you feel it for then work to forgive yourself. That’s what’s most important anyway. Self forgiveness. When you understand and forgive yourself, forgiving others is much easier. Then you are truely free.

Unforgiving also closes the heart which might explain this sinkhole experience you are having.

Hope you feel better soon.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

I get what you're sauing Glow, but if you're going to cast me out of your life with no chance to fix things, even if it's for a good reason, how fair to me is it that I still end up doing s*** for you? When you thi k nothing of me, do nothing for me, want nothing to do with me, AND WANT NO CONNECTION WITH ME, then why should I maintain any sort of connection which would exclusively benefit her? Yes, I did treat her badly. But if I'm not going to be given another chance, and if she doesnt want to work things out and reestablish something between us, why should there be ANYTHING between us then? Why should I give her any sort of guidance? She doesn't want ANYTHING to do with me, so why should she HAVE anything to do with me? If she truly wants to sever the connection, should it not be TRULY severed then? Why should it be: "I sever all connection with you, except as a continuing source of my spiritual benefit"?

[EvolvingPhoenix]

I have to suffer over this, and she gets the spiritual benefit of MY suffering, without having to go through it herself? How is that fair to me?

[EvolvingPhoenix]

And I am working to forgive myself. I just don't like unfair arrangements like that.

[Glow]

Oh I don’t disagree. I think it is probably a lot more healthy to eliminate old attachments that no longer are helpful.

I just honestly care about you and by the way thank you for not taking offence when I said that.
Anyways I care enough that listening to your posts including in this thread made the light go on for me and since I would like you to be happy I just thought perhaps if you could work on the anger towards yourself you might feel better about this sooner.