02-16-2016, 09:30 PM
3.10 [...]The progress is normally from the understanding which you now seek to a dimension of understanding which is governed by the laws of love, and which seeks the laws of light. Those who are vibrating with the Law of Light seek the Law of One. Those who vibrate with the Law of One seek the Law of Foreverness.
Hello friends. Vanaliosaldo/TPP here, and now Only.
I left because I discovered the Law of One is not for me. Yes, I am confused. I did my meditations, found visualization suggestions across my short yet intensive search for answers across the internet. In visualizing myself as 'The' Sacred Geometry ('the' as in leaving it to my inner self to unconsciously formulate whatever 'the' is) in a meditation I got the suggestion from within to visualize myself inside a pyramid and that meditation took me way too far.
It lead to wisdom of visualizing the sun within me coming out as I am, and that lead to the above quote penultimately, like a huge arrow blinking. It said 'do this' 'don't dally' 'become the sun and let it out'
So I'm letting it out. My subconscious says...That there is evil where there is something that is live, the word itself is evil backwards. And ultimately I have come to discover that my reality is one of inversion, going through in reverse.
A bit about me before I say more.
In the early years of my life I discovered inside of me a desire to leave this place. It had no outlet such as suicide or murder, and on top of that there was the unconscious lesson from the other side not to kill myself. I remember the world WAS magic. Gusts of wind carried dust like a wall and blew over me at school, it profoundly effected myself and other children even stopped and looked at it. I saw swirls in water and understood them as -the way things are- and realized there was more to life than this or that. I looked at fire with fear and awe and the Earth itself was oddly dead even in life...
As I grew into society I was alone, worse yet I put myself in a place of being alone. No family, a weirdo, trying to connect with others to be rejected time and time again. I resolved to recluse myself into fantasy, because fantasy was my reality. Magic was my reality. I disappeared into dragons, aliens, stories of epic tales, I disappeared from society.
My red ray was deactivated at puberty, my yellow ray was deactivated at adulthood and there is no reason beyond myself. I seek something that even here was not remotely discovered, and not anywhere will it be. I pull from the top down, from violet to red and it is confusion ingrained, the end all be all for me is the mundane, where things start and the end was eternity. Once my Blue ray deactivates I will not be well in any sense of the word and that time nears much sooner than expected even once realized. It was like dia-gnosing myself with a terminal illness of insanity to come.
My mirrors reflect a profound excuse, many emptiness'es that are the answers that I never wanted to see. Simply put, I belong because I don't want to be here.
When I first found the Law of One, it was in the throes of prepared suicide. You could say it was like plugging into a battery, can you imagine my discontent when I discovered my view of the Law of One was actually one of black magic? Forgive this analogy but Ra in the first few sessions says it's not well for those not intending service to all to perform the ritual to contact them, and to discover Don was essentially sociopathic in certain ways (by information garnished from this forum) with how he treated Carla during the contact, and the dis/harmonious nature of the group despite it being called harmonious.
That is simply my view. I see gray in everything, the Law of One is no excuse to this, this is not a post about polarity but of where the Law of One has lead me to. The Law of Foreverness.
In meditating on it, it was like touching something I was not meant to touch. Not supposed to touch, a vibration that has nothing to it... I found no answers, there are none truly. I found no wisdom or love, there is no such things past a point. I touched not even realization. I garnished from it feelings and emptiness of thought, leaving only my intellectual mind to re-mind me of where I was just before I found the Law of One. Everything else is zapped clear. Intelligence (yellow/ego) itself clings for survival, and it is not informed but out(per)formed, it is not good enough, it is not going along for the ride.
My Ego tells me that control of itself is necessary and I made excuses endlessly, in every mirror I see excuses, even the answers are excuses and so I'm left with this one final question before I leave Bring4th permanently to find my own way to heal. I hit something and it messed me up in my mind. I look outside and I see magic and bliss even in emptiness. I speak my truth and find it is an excuse. I love and nothing happens. I hate and nothing happens. I sought myself and found nothing, a being of emptiness in the positive sense, and to be something is so distraught to me I find my realizing I am something is disturbing. I can't leave, I can't come forth, I am...Well.
I am without any words to properly explain or convey what I feel, I thought maybe there were answers but I see there is no answer, not of mystery or confusion or clarity. The closest understanding I had just before I touched Eternity was that:
But once I touched Eternity, already discerning Truth as naturally evolving, and Source following, I...Hit something that sucked me up. A sober meditation turned to hallucinations and reality is again as if I were a child, but on top of it is where I was. The result is purely confusion, making sense of something I cannot. Understanding it in silence, I cannot convey, I am not able to, if not by divine design, then by my own conscious limiting, to tell you what I felt or experienced except that it was like touching the sun of all suns, and finding I was nothing.
Again, nothing in a positive sense, I cannot describe it. The emptiness of energy, of vibration, of frequency.
I dreamed of Foreverness in the form of a child with control of time in short bursts, too scared to look beyond the play gym he was in even when he slammed through the vents and saw more beyond all that there was. I dreamed of Foreverness as the people all around me laughing and mocking me, and that I was a joke. I dreamed of foreverness as a journey that ends in tragedy.
There was a part of me that realized the Creation is actually Alone. Just like me. That reality is an insane deity's dream. Energy is just Thought (See: motion) given form, and intention is nothing more than insanity (See: thoughtfulness) given something to do. I have always resonated with the madness and empty deity's in fantasy worlds. The Deceiver of the Necrons, The Laughing God of the Eldar, The Joker, The Empty Lord Zaros and the devious mahjarret Sliske in Gielinor, to name just a few... I have always known quietly that I am in a puzzle without the pieces to complete it, that I am in a puzzle missing pieces because they do not exist.
To answer with insanity, I guess you could say I discovered that the truth about Earth for me was to simply make sense of insanity as just being insanity. In the Sane...
To put this in chakra terms. And I am so sorry, there is no small way to explain this.
What this means...
1. The Basest Pulling of Creation [from eternity] (Red: the Start) and Truth (Blue: the End) formulate a manner of direction (Violet);
2. Violet directs the 'formulator' (Indigo: that which designs formulae) from Truth (End: Blue) and Eternity (Start: Red).
3. Green is the Source [Love: OIC, Unity] which informs Truth (Blue) but only exists because Violet designed it after the fact by creating a Formulator (Indigo) with Eternity and Truth (Red and Blue) to design a Master Builder or Construct[ion] aka [Sacred] Geometry and [Self/Aware] Intelligence (Yellow) to be used with Truth (Blue) to Formulate Love (Green).
Once you include the absence of Time and linearity for Simultaneity, and it might take a few hours of thinking upon, you begin to realize Existence is a form of insanity begetting sanity, that from a Human point of view, there is no clear cut anything, it was all lost at some point and refound and lost and refound and lost into infinity.
When the Creator found itself to be, as Ra says, we wonder what it's origins was. The Origins are of themselves, Insanity finally finding... What did it find? Itself.
For this Place, to Me, is Insanity, I found excuses everywhere for the suffering on this planet, I found excuses everywhere for the love on this planet, and it goes to reason, if all things are excuses, even Eter-nity, Infi-nity, U-nity, there is no reason, no point, no answer.
Simply put, it is proper to say all came from nothing. There is no mechanism needed. There was at some point, before Eternity was even conceived, emptiness, not of absence, but of just itself. A lacking of shape, of dimension, of essence, of being, of anything.
And this lacking was still, still something, still there. It was stillness.
That was The Law of Foreverness. As I understood it, as it broke me...
What is the Law of Foreverness? To come before the Law of One. Before Creator, before form and motion, before everything and anything there was Still, and is Still... The underlying truth, the mystery clad one creator was not a creator nor mystery clad.
In my unconsciousness which is my method of seeking, as I operate in reverse there was confusion. Confusion is the basest state of Stillness just after it has left Stillness.
This, this is my only Truth and it has utterly wrecked me. I don't know how I am to live like this, I don't know how I am to be like this. I don't know how I am to operate like this, when there is one thing I wish to return to and meditation does not bring me there. There are barriers that do not stop me but drain me in order to halt me, a form of self binding. I can't bring this out, I can't tell anyone this. That I'm even doing it now is revolutionarily, for myself, against everything I believe[d] in.
I betray myself for others now. And realize I am insane. Seeing things that aren't there. Knowing things I can't put in to form simply so anyone could understand.
Let this be my last thread.
What is the Law of Foreverness to you?
(Do you see? Please...Someone see it...)
(No one will see. I see. There is only more confusion to come.)
Hello friends. Vanaliosaldo/TPP here, and now Only.
I left because I discovered the Law of One is not for me. Yes, I am confused. I did my meditations, found visualization suggestions across my short yet intensive search for answers across the internet. In visualizing myself as 'The' Sacred Geometry ('the' as in leaving it to my inner self to unconsciously formulate whatever 'the' is) in a meditation I got the suggestion from within to visualize myself inside a pyramid and that meditation took me way too far.
It lead to wisdom of visualizing the sun within me coming out as I am, and that lead to the above quote penultimately, like a huge arrow blinking. It said 'do this' 'don't dally' 'become the sun and let it out'
So I'm letting it out. My subconscious says...That there is evil where there is something that is live, the word itself is evil backwards. And ultimately I have come to discover that my reality is one of inversion, going through in reverse.
A bit about me before I say more.
In the early years of my life I discovered inside of me a desire to leave this place. It had no outlet such as suicide or murder, and on top of that there was the unconscious lesson from the other side not to kill myself. I remember the world WAS magic. Gusts of wind carried dust like a wall and blew over me at school, it profoundly effected myself and other children even stopped and looked at it. I saw swirls in water and understood them as -the way things are- and realized there was more to life than this or that. I looked at fire with fear and awe and the Earth itself was oddly dead even in life...
As I grew into society I was alone, worse yet I put myself in a place of being alone. No family, a weirdo, trying to connect with others to be rejected time and time again. I resolved to recluse myself into fantasy, because fantasy was my reality. Magic was my reality. I disappeared into dragons, aliens, stories of epic tales, I disappeared from society.
My red ray was deactivated at puberty, my yellow ray was deactivated at adulthood and there is no reason beyond myself. I seek something that even here was not remotely discovered, and not anywhere will it be. I pull from the top down, from violet to red and it is confusion ingrained, the end all be all for me is the mundane, where things start and the end was eternity. Once my Blue ray deactivates I will not be well in any sense of the word and that time nears much sooner than expected even once realized. It was like dia-gnosing myself with a terminal illness of insanity to come.
My mirrors reflect a profound excuse, many emptiness'es that are the answers that I never wanted to see. Simply put, I belong because I don't want to be here.
When I first found the Law of One, it was in the throes of prepared suicide. You could say it was like plugging into a battery, can you imagine my discontent when I discovered my view of the Law of One was actually one of black magic? Forgive this analogy but Ra in the first few sessions says it's not well for those not intending service to all to perform the ritual to contact them, and to discover Don was essentially sociopathic in certain ways (by information garnished from this forum) with how he treated Carla during the contact, and the dis/harmonious nature of the group despite it being called harmonious.
That is simply my view. I see gray in everything, the Law of One is no excuse to this, this is not a post about polarity but of where the Law of One has lead me to. The Law of Foreverness.
In meditating on it, it was like touching something I was not meant to touch. Not supposed to touch, a vibration that has nothing to it... I found no answers, there are none truly. I found no wisdom or love, there is no such things past a point. I touched not even realization. I garnished from it feelings and emptiness of thought, leaving only my intellectual mind to re-mind me of where I was just before I found the Law of One. Everything else is zapped clear. Intelligence (yellow/ego) itself clings for survival, and it is not informed but out(per)formed, it is not good enough, it is not going along for the ride.
My Ego tells me that control of itself is necessary and I made excuses endlessly, in every mirror I see excuses, even the answers are excuses and so I'm left with this one final question before I leave Bring4th permanently to find my own way to heal. I hit something and it messed me up in my mind. I look outside and I see magic and bliss even in emptiness. I speak my truth and find it is an excuse. I love and nothing happens. I hate and nothing happens. I sought myself and found nothing, a being of emptiness in the positive sense, and to be something is so distraught to me I find my realizing I am something is disturbing. I can't leave, I can't come forth, I am...Well.
I am without any words to properly explain or convey what I feel, I thought maybe there were answers but I see there is no answer, not of mystery or confusion or clarity. The closest understanding I had just before I touched Eternity was that:
- There is a Beginning to all Beginning infinitely. This is known as Eternity.
- There is an End to all End infinitely. This is known as Truth.
- The Middle of this Beginning and End, is the Source. And perhaps should be viewed as both the end and beginning simultaneously.
But once I touched Eternity, already discerning Truth as naturally evolving, and Source following, I...Hit something that sucked me up. A sober meditation turned to hallucinations and reality is again as if I were a child, but on top of it is where I was. The result is purely confusion, making sense of something I cannot. Understanding it in silence, I cannot convey, I am not able to, if not by divine design, then by my own conscious limiting, to tell you what I felt or experienced except that it was like touching the sun of all suns, and finding I was nothing.
Again, nothing in a positive sense, I cannot describe it. The emptiness of energy, of vibration, of frequency.
I dreamed of Foreverness in the form of a child with control of time in short bursts, too scared to look beyond the play gym he was in even when he slammed through the vents and saw more beyond all that there was. I dreamed of Foreverness as the people all around me laughing and mocking me, and that I was a joke. I dreamed of foreverness as a journey that ends in tragedy.
There was a part of me that realized the Creation is actually Alone. Just like me. That reality is an insane deity's dream. Energy is just Thought (See: motion) given form, and intention is nothing more than insanity (See: thoughtfulness) given something to do. I have always resonated with the madness and empty deity's in fantasy worlds. The Deceiver of the Necrons, The Laughing God of the Eldar, The Joker, The Empty Lord Zaros and the devious mahjarret Sliske in Gielinor, to name just a few... I have always known quietly that I am in a puzzle without the pieces to complete it, that I am in a puzzle missing pieces because they do not exist.
To answer with insanity, I guess you could say I discovered that the truth about Earth for me was to simply make sense of insanity as just being insanity. In the Sane...
To put this in chakra terms. And I am so sorry, there is no small way to explain this.
- Red and Yellow formulate Orange.
- Yellow and Blue formulate Green.
- Then Red and Blue Formulate Violet.
- And Blue and Violet formulate Indigo.
What this means...
1. The Basest Pulling of Creation [from eternity] (Red: the Start) and Truth (Blue: the End) formulate a manner of direction (Violet);
2. Violet directs the 'formulator' (Indigo: that which designs formulae) from Truth (End: Blue) and Eternity (Start: Red).
3. Green is the Source [Love: OIC, Unity] which informs Truth (Blue) but only exists because Violet designed it after the fact by creating a Formulator (Indigo) with Eternity and Truth (Red and Blue) to design a Master Builder or Construct[ion] aka [Sacred] Geometry and [Self/Aware] Intelligence (Yellow) to be used with Truth (Blue) to Formulate Love (Green).
Once you include the absence of Time and linearity for Simultaneity, and it might take a few hours of thinking upon, you begin to realize Existence is a form of insanity begetting sanity, that from a Human point of view, there is no clear cut anything, it was all lost at some point and refound and lost and refound and lost into infinity.
When the Creator found itself to be, as Ra says, we wonder what it's origins was. The Origins are of themselves, Insanity finally finding... What did it find? Itself.
For this Place, to Me, is Insanity, I found excuses everywhere for the suffering on this planet, I found excuses everywhere for the love on this planet, and it goes to reason, if all things are excuses, even Eter-nity, Infi-nity, U-nity, there is no reason, no point, no answer.
Simply put, it is proper to say all came from nothing. There is no mechanism needed. There was at some point, before Eternity was even conceived, emptiness, not of absence, but of just itself. A lacking of shape, of dimension, of essence, of being, of anything.
And this lacking was still, still something, still there. It was stillness.
That was The Law of Foreverness. As I understood it, as it broke me...
What is the Law of Foreverness? To come before the Law of One. Before Creator, before form and motion, before everything and anything there was Still, and is Still... The underlying truth, the mystery clad one creator was not a creator nor mystery clad.
In my unconsciousness which is my method of seeking, as I operate in reverse there was confusion. Confusion is the basest state of Stillness just after it has left Stillness.
This, this is my only Truth and it has utterly wrecked me. I don't know how I am to live like this, I don't know how I am to be like this. I don't know how I am to operate like this, when there is one thing I wish to return to and meditation does not bring me there. There are barriers that do not stop me but drain me in order to halt me, a form of self binding. I can't bring this out, I can't tell anyone this. That I'm even doing it now is revolutionarily, for myself, against everything I believe[d] in.
I betray myself for others now. And realize I am insane. Seeing things that aren't there. Knowing things I can't put in to form simply so anyone could understand.
Let this be my last thread.
What is the Law of Foreverness to you?
(Do you see? Please...Someone see it...)
(No one will see. I see. There is only more confusion to come.)