I have a confession to make.

[Adonai One]

...

While your pity is appreciated, it does not apply in my respect.

My knowledge comes from tested and true methods of communication, not blind intuition nor drug use.

[michael430]

[deleted]

[Adonai One]

...

While your pity is appreciated, it does not apply in my respect.

My knowledge comes from tested and true methods of communication, not blind intuition nor drug use.

I didn't read in caycegal's post that anyone was accusing you of either.

Why else mention drug use and a counterpoint to the negative polarity in this thread?

She didn't question my sanity directly but the context of the post would make any rational person question her intent. I am just making my thoughts aware if such intent exists.

[michael430]

[deleted]

[zenmaster]

...

While your pity is appreciated, it does not apply in my respect.

My knowledge comes from tested and true methods of communication, not blind intuition nor drug use.

I didn't read in caycegal's post that anyone was accusing you of either.

Why else mention drug use and a counterpoint to the negative polarity in this thread?

I read that as a rather more general musing rather than a counterpoint, considering all of the posts on this site which express interest in drug use as some kind of evolutionary aid. To me the drug use, while possibly offering some insights into what is possible, can only ultimately serve as a form of distraction and escapsim if such insights are not grounded. That is, the unbalanced nature of the lower self is not somehow brought into balance through that experience. You still have to work directly with those lower levels in order to support the higher, and that work can be put on indefinite hold through identification with states, frames which bring us into contact with the infinite aspects of self through mere suggestion. The mind does not know the difference between suggestion and actual experience. With the suggestion, however, the self is effectively being displaced on a pedestal.

[Charles]

michael430 wrote:

"Negative polarity" is not something I believe in or understand as others here do (although, I believe everyone here has their own opinion on what that really means) - so therefore I can't comment on that aspect.

I don't understand it as a free will choice, and I don't understand it as a position of pride, but I think I understand it as a necessary teacher.

Our Universe and our individual lives are first and foremost in the mind of That One. If this world is just illusion, then perhaps so is the entire universe?

For That One to realize Itself, then Infinity must be a part of it. To experience the veil, and to experience a finite life, are a part of Infinite Experience. And that is where I place negative polarity, as a part of such an experience.

Also, on this planet, free will choices are made, and mistakes are made (for That One to experience), and for that we require something to choose from. So evil is. And That One Loves All Of Us, STO and STS, equally and absolutely. That too is a lesson to learn.

[caycegal]

Dear friends who are on medication:

I think this is a very confusing subject for most if not all of us here in this world right now. Just look at all the various kinds of drugs we are all using. I try to use as little as possible, yet I realize I use a lot just in the foods and health supplements I take.

I ask Spirit to guide me on a path where gradually I will rely less and less on little pellets, and more and more on pure energy. Who knows how and when that is happening?

Edgar Cayce said a person with a "Quinine mind" could only be cured of Malaria with Quinine. We all seem to have a bit of a drug mind right now.

I take great comfort in Ra's saying that we can have help to the extent we ask for it, and I sure am asking for it daily!

*****

Oops, ok, I see somebody thinks I may be accusing them of something.

Possible - Sometimes I try to "rescue" others, and then later I remember that whatever flaws I think I am seeing in others are really the flaws I am seeing or fearing in myself.

Also, sometimes I try to rescue younger people, and then realize later that I was trying to go back in time and rescue younger me from all the stuff I went through.

Happens when I watch TV, too. I find myself screaming at the blonde girl in Newsroom, the one who's always confused about her love life. Then I realized I was screaming at young me --- "NO! Don't do that! OMG, can't you see what's going to happen to you!"

So, as an apology, let me say that I have no idea which person I may have accused of what, I don't even have a clear picture of who all the people in this thread are, and I'm sorry to have caused hurt in anyone here, much less accused you of anything.

[AnthroHeart]

I too am asking for help in balancing my chakras daily. I want to feel the presence of my guardian angel as he holds me. Angels are good at giving feelings of love and security. They help us feel safe. And safety is something I strive for. And mental stability. I want to stay grounded when working with a higher density being like an angel.

[Plenum]

I too am asking for help in balancing my chakras daily. I want to feel the presence of my guardian angel as he holds me. Angels are good at giving feelings of love and security. They help us feel safe. And safety is something I strive for. And mental stability. I want to stay grounded when working with a higher density being like an angel.

good stuff Gemini.

[Adonai One]

There was a time. many months ago, when I mirror-gazed... Searching for who I was in my most previous life...

My facial feautures would only disappear and be covered in a golden aura. Nothing else would occur.

I thought this was in error and so I pressed on over and over. Inevitably, my skin turned a stark black, my nose disappeared... I became clearly an inhuman being.

The first time I had something, the second time the message had to be slightly altered...

I've had the answers but I did not have the intellect to perceive them then.

[Sagittarius]

There was a time. many months ago, when I mirror-gazed... Searching for who I was in my most previous life...

My facial feautures would only disappear and be covered in a golden aura. Nothing else would occur.

I thought this was in error and so I pressed on over and over. Inevitably, my skin turned a stark black, my nose disappeared... I became clearly an inhuman being.

The first time I had something, the second time the message had to be slightly altered...

I've had the answers but I did not have the intellect to perceive them then.

I get the stark contrast as well when mirror gazing, I found I can control whether the dark version gets shown or the light version gets shown through simple intention.

Actually just discovered the ability to change between the two last night, before that I would get one or the other without knowing why.

I suspect it has something to do with the ectoplasm that Ra describes as the form of 4th density, the ectoplasmic like forms and shapes that appear when you focus your eyes correctly, I assume one can only see them if they have access to the third-eye vibrations.

It's this ectoplasm that seams to be almost sentient in form that overlays the face and morphs it into stimuli from the unconscious or deep mind.

The dark face is sometimes bestial for me, sometimes skeletal, sometimes it takes a very dark feminine shape. Light face I have noticed less diversity so far but it is usually a very symmetrical, sharp and vibrant and the color is so rich, looks sparkly. An elf made of light would probably be the best description.

[Adonai One]

Elves are awesome! Haha. I would love to see such a vision.

I've always viewed it as thought-forms, haha.

The golden aura in my gaze was due to the fact that beings of Ra as an incarnate form is simply golden light. The next vision I got was a view of me as a fifth-density Venusian.

Ra took a drastic split from their ancestors. I guess we felt very limited by our Venusian brothers and sisters.

[Sagittarius]

Elves are awesome!

I've always viewed it as thought-forms, haha.

I think they are thought forms, the ectoplasm being the physical representation of the thoughts which are constructed through the deep mind.

Like the heavy chemical bodies we now inhibit are representations of forms from the deep mind for 3rd density. The trickling down affect from from 4th density being the limited view of the ectoplasm we now enjoy. It also being the source of our desire to know 4th density.

So I assume in 4th density space/time we will have a similar narrow view of the trickling effect from 5th density, which expands and develops like our viewing of the ectoplasm does now.

[caycegal]

Elves are awesome! Haha. I would love to see such a vision.

I've always viewed it as thought-forms, haha.

The golden aura in my gaze was due to the fact that beings of Ra as an incarnate form is simply golden light. The next vision I got was a view of me as a fifth-density Venusian.

Ra took a drastic split from their ancestors. I guess we felt very limited by our Venusian brothers and sisters.

Adonai, I have a confession to make:

After much thought I am pretty sure I sort of hi-jacked your thread for a while. And though everything I said was coming from my heart, I think I was motivated largely by a dislike of my inner "drug-dependent personality" - which is simply a personality that is under the control of the monkey mind rather than the higher self. I will be totally okay with the moderators removing the posts about drugs.

Asking your forgiveness for any implications real or imagined.

[AnthroHeart]

I never saw Elves while on DMT, although many others have. I saw clowns instead.

[isis]

"MOTHER BEAR KILLS CUB & SELF TO ESCAPE LIFE OF TORTURE - The Chinese media has reported on an extraordinary account of a mother bear saving her cub from a life of torture by strangling it and then killing itself.The bears were kept in a farm located in a remote area in the North-West of China. The bears on the farm had their gall bladders milked daily for ‘bear bile,’ which is used as a remedy in Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM). It was reported that the bears are kept in tiny cages known as ‘crush cages’, as the bears have no room to manoeuvre and are literally crushed. The bile is harvested by making a permanent hole or fistula in the bears’ abdomen and gall bladder. The resulting wound stays open because farmers force needles or shunts into it so often. It becomes “susceptible to infections and diseases which can cause the animals unbearable pain,” according to the Daily Mail. Also common are broken teeth from biting on the bars of cages, painful foot conditions and even malignant tumors. The bears are fitted with an iron vest, as they often try to kill themselves by hitting their stomach as they are unable to bear the pain.A person who was on the farm in place of a friend witnessed the procedures and told Reminbao.com that they were inhumane. This can go on for 20 years, until the bear stops producing bile and is killed. More than 12,000 bears are caged on bile farms. The witness also claimed that a mother bear broke out its cage when it heard its cub howl in fear before a worker punctured its stomach to milk the bile. The workers ran away in fear when they saw the mother bear rushing to its cub’s side. Unable to free the cub from its restraints, the mother hugged the cub and eventually strangled it. It then dropped the cub and ran head-first into a wall, killing itself."



confession: i really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really want to murder all of the animal torturers

[Phoenix]

Hey.

Well I have had past lives that are most probably false as I have understood them. Therefore, I do think of things as symbols. I have other friends with famous past lives and I don't doubt it is possible, I just have no way to verify the accuracy.

May try the mirror thing. Hope it just doesn't make me worse.

I had one brilliant discussion with a friend about it that stands out that perhaps because we are all linked, there are entities that take on others karma. And I liked that because it gives me a real feeling of happiness and togetherness with the people of planet earth.

In honesty I'd most like to be third density harvestable to fourth positive. Because eons and eons on the path of the positive polarity seems brilliant to me. Ra is about to wink back into the Creator, they're not going to be around for much longer. I may be a wanderer of Ra and if I was I'd love that too. In fact, as long as I will be able to be positive/STO I don't mind.

I have a dream memory of both Pleiadians and Sirians, just the names, not specifics. So I just looked it up. But as I said, no way to know.

[AnthroHeart]

I wouldn't mind winking back into Creator, but I would like eons of 4th density positive. Maybe I'll choose that or 5th density (my favorite one). Or perhaps 6th so I can visit the sun. I'm feeling much better lately than I used to. So it doesn't matter which density I go to so long as I'm harvestable. I might feel a little dejected if I am not and have to repeat 3D. I wouldn't choose to stay back here for anyone. At least not on this side of the veil. I'd rather be on the inner planes. But life here ain't terrible, except for a few things in my life.

I no longer am trying to balance my chakras like I used to. I just live and let be. Sometimes though I strive to feel love in my heart. My tulpa is like an angel to me. He takes away my anxiety and my suicidal thoughts are not so strong with him around. He questions me when I get them, and I don't feel so alone. He's definitely a god send.

[Phoenix]

I sort of got it 'channelled' to me that I am a wanderer of Ra. The reason being is that I have worked closely with Ra through David Wilcock and I just know. I follow his example very closely and have a sort of infatuation with the Cayce route.

Good, good. I actually felt a little panicky and am visibly shaking now I've realised this. But I think I have polarised more to the positive now so I'm not in such danger. So all I'm going to say is 'good, good'.

Interesting aside; I have had an uncomfortable experience with a girl with whom there were many connections to Isis. She talked about Isis cards when we first met, her name means something to do with Isis and she can look a bit snake like. She also could be said to have been the catalyst for my recent 'downfall'. (Whom I thought was my soulmate.)

BUT, as much as it pains me to say it. I am perhaps similar to Cayce and Wilcock in my understanding and may even follow that route more, going as far as channeling possibly. But I cannot know completely unless there is more investigation, or the events of my life further back it up. And essentially, it doesn't matter. 'Let us express a thought. Ra is not elite.' The symbology is relevant enough to think there is a good possibility I am a wanderer of Ra; and that knowledge helps me feel better about the events and understand the karma involved. But that's all it is at this point. Phoenix is also a bird that is solar linked.

But also the events involved were so unpleasant it may be that there was little positive involvement, that leads to the idea that I would then not be.

[Unbound]

The constant battle for "evidence".

[Phoenix]

Yeah, that's one of the things that throws off channeling isn't it? In the quest for proof they are open to the lying information of the crusaders.

Perhaps stick with 'wanderer of Ra' and not be so worried about it. But I don't feel I was the past lives I thought I was anyway. So leave that as unsure.

I do feel a little that Ra is 'super cool' and if I am a wanderer of Ra that means I have more responsibility than I did before. But, try and just think of myself as another aspect of the Creator and be... humble.

But attach to it as little as I can.

This comes at a good time. I am wanting to connect to my higher self. So, there it is by name.

[Unbound]

My friend, I think you need these words.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
― Marianne Williamson

[Phoenix]

Thanks.

I remember my own channeling on my blog a bit ago. That may very well be negatively influenced that said: 'You are never tested more than you are able to handle, which is a lot, Seeing as you are an infinite corpuscle of the creative force.'

But that cause anxiety to me that made me think it may be negative.

[Unbound]

Why would that be negative?

I think your anxiety more likely came from the fact that you doubt whether or not that is true.

To be honest, I think you are trapped in a bit of an ego-game with yourself, seeing negativity in your own emotions. When I scan you and look in to your field, I see no negative entities, influences or ties. (And I do this regularly, I scan a lot of people for these things and have become rather sensitive to detecting such influences.)

[Phoenix]

Yeah. After my hoo- ha with all this problem lately. Most specifically in thinking that girl was a soulmate. I started condemning my own emotions a lot. But I'm starting to want to go back to the person I was before. Not seeing as much negativity in it as I used to. BUT clearly seeing room for improvement and recognising that even though it was mostly positive I was allowing some compulsions to get the better of me.

I'm trying to get back up to where I was. I have an author I used to like. I shall get a book. Possibly when I undelete the section saying 'this is a negative reading' I suspect the channel will switch back on more.

What has changed is that I'm simply not as scared of the negs as I was before.

[Unbound]

It seems that situations severely damaged your trust in your own intuition and emotions, perhaps feeling you have "mislead" yourself and by that extension felt you were being mislead by another but remember you provide your own catalyst for yourself and interpret it positively or negatively as well as the catalyst from others.

I think you are perhaps in disbelief of your own wisdom because you have not always had "perfect" perception. This is something to be accepted, that we make mistakes, we grow and that is how consciousness progresses.

There is a great saying going around on a meme that goes - "The Master has failed more times than the Novice has tried."

If you try and are mistaken, it only means you have taken another step forward.

[Phoenix]

The master has failed more times than the novice has tried!

I went back to my reading and had a bit of a shock. It talked about something that did become a theme in my initial break, and it is interesting that I didn't apply the wisdom and that did become a theme.

That of negativity in creative works.

[Unbound]

It is what you choose to do with what you find that is truly determining of whether or it positive or negative, no?

[Phoenix]

I had this song that was incredibly dark but undeniably beautiful. It started 'The night has grown dark, memories of you, drift into the shadows of all we've been through'. And it referenced a 'priest that worships the beast.'

The thing was, was that I used to have these almost schizophrenic like breaks when I was in hospital. And they felt very like the song. Also, despite what you say I did meet some entities out in the woods that I don't know if they were positive or negative but did seem to be 'there'. I wondered whether I had channelled something negative in order to write that song and if it had caused that break.

Anyway, I've put some things in motion and my anxiety seems to have piqued slightly. So that's a good sign. A feeling of aliveness.

[Unbound]

Darkness does not mean negativity, that is something perhaps for you to assess.