Meditation

[Bring4th_Austin]

(Most of) the side-discussion about the moderator message regarding zenmaster's post has been split and can continue in the Cognitive Distortions thread.

[Dani]

Dear Dani,

What you experience sounds difficult, to say the least. I can only imagine the sometimes nightmarish qualities some of your moments must exhibit.

The person closest to me in the world has a host of - what thus far has been - chronic (but fortunately not 24/7) health difficulties. Many times have we been together in the hospital; many times I have witnessed the whole gamut of her suffering: from seemingly unbearable physical pain, to the guilt and sense of being a burden to those she loves, to feelings of being lost and hopeless, to the desire for the cessation of the incarnation as a means of pain-relief, to being confused about the "why" question, to feeling worn down and beaten, to a host of other turbulent emotions. One sometimes questions the intelligence behind this third-density design.

I don’t have the wisdom to know what is cause and what is effect in her case, but having witnessed both her mental and bodily patterns, I suspect a strong linkage between mind and body. (And who knows to what degree the spirit complex plays a role.)

I wonder at times to what extent the beliefs she holds about herself – especially those that pertain to self-worth and self-acceptance – manifest in her body. Again, I don’t Sherlock the cause for her (primarily because I don’t know), but the relationship between mind and body in her case seems very closely related.

And this echoes an idea repeated many times in the Confederation philosophy:

81.14 Ra: The body is the creature of the mind and is the instrument of manifestation for the fruits of mind and spirit. Therefore, you may see the body as providing the athanor through which the alchemist manifests gold.

A shunt is a shunt, of course, and is a physical item creating perhaps, as you surmise, very physical problems. But the shunt may not be the whole of the difficulty. Judging by some of your posting, it seems that there are deeply unloving/unaccepting/self-rejecting perceptions you hold about yourself that may play a strong role in this catalyst, and may need greater reflection.

***********************

One thing that came to my mind while reading your posting to this thread regards your relationship with your family. I may be mistaken, but it seems like your inner experience desperately needs communicated to those closest to you. (In post #69 you conveyed as much.) It seems that in your desire not to be a burden to those with their own pre-existing heavy weight to carry, you bottle up a lot.

I think it can be a noble thing to keep your own suffering uncommunicated out of consideration for others, but only if that can be done in a balanced way. By your accounting, it sounds like you are being eaten up inside by keeping it all to yourself. (Hopefully this thread has served as a healthy outlet.) It sounds like keeping it to yourself increases the internal pressure, and confuses/muddies the dynamic of the family situation.
*If* that is the case, then perhaps you can find a way to share your experience.

18.5 Ra: All things are acceptable in the proper time for each entity, and in experiencing, in understanding, in accepting, in then sharing with other-selves, the appropriate description shall be moving away from distortions of one kind to distortions of another which may be more consonant with the Law of One.

Some ideas that come to mind that might maximize the success of such a venture: perhaps you could schedule a time for your family to be together to share in-person, or choose a harmonious setting (say, a walk if you’re able to walk sufficiently, or in a nearby park, etc.), or whatever else you may do to enhance the set and setting. (Or maybe you could write a letter if being in-person is not an option.)

You could convey that you’re not looking for any particular response, or any particular action in reply, but that, first and foremost, you just need to share your catalyst, you just need to be heard. (Fully recognizing, of course, that they, too, have struggles.) That alone can help lighten the load you carry and create new space for love and light to shine into your experience, and open the window for creative ways to relate to your experience. It is okay to share, Dani. It is okay to have struggles. Your experience is legitimate.

You can convey the difficulty of your experience in a calm, even way, if possible, communicating that you have fears without letting fear grip you; communicating that you have doubts without being overwhelmed by doubt in your presentation; communicating that you have challenges without devolving into hysterics, etc.

Perhaps, even, you could establish a modality whereby you have family meetings so that each family member simply can speak honestly of their experience while the others listen in a mindful, receptive, supportive, loving atmosphere. Perhaps a healing atmosphere can be created for everyone in the house through this or similar means.

55.2 Ra: I am Ra. We scan this instrument and find its distortion towards appreciation of each entity and each entity’s caring, as you may call it. This atmosphere, shall we say, offers the greatest contrast to the discomfort of such psychic attacks, being the reciprocal, that is, the atmosphere of psychic support.

This each of you do as a subconscious function of true attitudinal, mental, emotional, and spiritual distortions towards this instrument. There is no magic greater than honest distortion toward love.

***********************

I know nothing of shunts, but as it seems yours is a source of great difficulty, are you able to go to a doctor on your own to have the situation reviewed? If it requires the consent/help of a family member, could you ask them to assist you?

***********************

Also, have you considered regressive hypnosis as a means of self-discovery? It has proven a powerful mechanism for many people to get to the core of present difficulties, not just to access the seed ideas from which stem present suffering, but to process the trauma/blockage, love accept and forgive it, integrate it, and become healed.

***********************

Finally, I agree with isis in that I think there is something to be said for simple perseverance and endurance. Not, precisely, that we should suffer now for future reward, but rather that there is value in *using* suffering to develop strength of character and sheer GRIT. Not “using” it with some kind of master plan as to what you will do with suffering, but using it by simply enduring: not giving up, not losing faith, not giving in to hopeleness and despair, and not relinquishing the relentless, day-by-day attempt to seek the light and open the heart to forgiveness of self and others.

Your suffering has meaning and purpose, Dani. It alerts you to the work that needs to be undertaken; it calls you forward on your path; it motivates your seeking of healing. And endless though it may seem to be, it represents one small chapter in a book that stretches on far, far beyond the limits of what you or I can conceive.

You are capable of doing this work. You wanted to do this work. You have friends along the way.

All love and light to you, Dani,
GLB

PS: I offer this only in a spirit of food for thought – I am not a trained healer or psychologist, just a seeker stumbling his own way through the darkness. Please ignore my words if they don’t ring something inside of you or offer potentially new leads for your investigation.

Thank you. I'm sorry to hear about your friend. <3
I have spoken with various family members occasionally about our situations as well as my own. While talking helps to a degree, I have understood that many of our problems won't have very fortunate answers, but answers with some light, nonetheless. There aren't many immediate solutions at the moment-one of those being any visitations to the doctor.
As far as I know, I haven't had very serious seizures since June 6th of last year; just shunt complications of various kinds.
I hope that stays the same while my brother visits.

---

Your suffering has meaning and purpose, Dani.

note to dani: the meaning & purpose behind the suffering is the brownie points, trust me

note to zm: imo, a romantic notion is a good notion

mmmm, brownies. XD
I've heard that the definition of "stupidity" is to do the same thing repeatedly while expecting differing results. Well, while I have made many "stupid" mistakes in my life, I don't believe that I am a stupid person; I'm just continuing to "try", whatever that means.

---

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"Everyone has their own Hell and everyone has their own ways of coping with it."
I told a friend this long ago. <3
Understanding that one may become "more" of a person through endurance is possible. However, without agony, one may be a "better" person. For example, many friends of mine certainly don't "enjoy" their former suffering upon reflection but understand that what they have been through doesn't apply itself to their current lives much-if at all-so they became somewhat happy with little sadness. Other friends of mine distracted themselves while speaking of their problems very little as though others would think poorly of them if they "opened up". Many people that I've met and one friend in particular-the one who I said the quote above to-were kind occasionally while also showing incredible icy tempers that were filled with jealousy and hatred. One of the people that I've known who has not become a "better" person through suffering is one that I regret inevitably having known daily...simply because that person has pressed on too much in the "wrong" direction, which she believed to be "right". Another person with the same way of living but a different level of ambition-my friend mentioned above-eventually abandoned most of whom she knew, no matter how closely they cherished her, and secretly "disowns" her own mother who cares for her. Personally, I could never do this to others, but "everyone has their own Hell and everyone has their own ways of coping with it,"

There are some people that I rarely speak to and others that I haven't spoken to in years. At this time, there is one person in particular that I debate speaking to any longer daily due to the fact that much of my family's strain originates from the allowance of her decisions. Still, there is a tattered thread that clings on to the mask of her "love" and horrible, temporarily "blocked" actions from the past. Today, my brother is continuing to face partial negligence while my sister and I are finally free. I believe that I should be facing her now in place of him, but this was not my decision.
I'm just happy that I can still see him...literally because I can see and he's alive.

I'm worried because I still don't have health insurance, but at least meditation isn't causing seizures at this time. The problems that I'm facing because of CSF blockage isn't hindering me as much as previous times which may be why meditation has been helping instead of hurting right now-I hope this lasts.

I'm so happy to be able to see my brother! He'll be happy to see us! I'll love to see our pets "freak out" in opposite ways when he arrives! <3

[Steppingfeet]

I have spoken with various family members occasionally about our situations as well as my own. While talking helps to a degree, I have understood that many of our problems won't have very fortunate answers, but answers with some light, nonetheless.

I'm generally not one to seek out the advice of others when it comes to internal issues of emotion, perception, pain, etc. Not that others don't have awesome counsel to give, just that I feel that there's little that others can often do.

*But*, I do find sometimes that just being able to speak my issue, and have it be heard with an empathetic ear and compassionate eyes, is in and of itself a means of lightening the load, without need for a particular solution or course of action. I've literally felt lighter subsequent to these types of moments.

That's where I was coming from. Naturally, only you can know when speaking distortions are appropriate.

One of the people that I've known who has not become a "better" person through suffering is one that I regret inevitably having known daily...simply because that person has pressed on too much in the "wrong" direction, which she believed to be "right".

This note reminds me of the following Ra quote:

34.6 Very often the catalyst for emotional pain, whether it be the death of the physical complex of one other-self which is loved or some other seeming loss, will simply result in the opposite, in a bitterness, an impatience, a souring. This is catalyst which has gone awry. In these cases, then, there will be additional catalyst provided to offer the unmanifested self further opportunities for discovering the self as all-sufficient Creator containing all that there is and full of joy.

Not to say that that thought from Ra describes the situation with regard to your friend, just reminds me of it.

Prayers to you. I hope you have a great good visit with your brother.

GLB

[isis]

The following post is not one of them:

bullshit. you dont get a medal from not being able to accept yourself. the notion is nonsense and pathetic.

this post is also not one of them:

Look, the romantic notion of suffering being somehow virtuous is plain stupid.

this post is also not one of them:

The glorification of suffering is fucking stupid Gary...

[Matt1]

Is it me or does nearly every thread on here these days drift away from the original post into a passive argument between a few users about different ways to word more or less the same message. I am not sure if its just the way i am reading it but it really seems to be that way at the moment. I feel a lot of one up man ship is going on as well.

I would say if you want to meditate don't ask people here on this forum but goto a meditation retreat/find a well rounded teacher.

[Ankh]

Is it me or does nearly every thread on here these days drift away from the original post into a passive argument between a few users about different ways to word more or less the same message. I am not sure if its just the way i am reading it but it really seems to be that way at the moment. I feel a lot of one up man ship is going on as well.

I would say if you want to meditate don't ask people here on this forum but goto a meditation retreat/find a well rounded teacher.

Hi Matt1, I didn't want to derail this poor thread any further, but since I wanted to answer to you, I posted it here.

[isis]

here's some quotes about suffering to meditate on:

"The reward of suffering is experience." ~Aeschylus

"Wisdom comes alone through suffering." ~Aeschylus

"Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but - I hope - into a better shape." ~Charles Dickens

"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known suffering...Beautiful people do not just happen." ~Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars." ~Kahlil Gibran

"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for." ~Bob Marley

"Man cannot remake himself without suffering for he is both the marble and the sculptor." ~Alexis Carrel

"Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon." ~Woody Allen

"Suffering is the sole origin of consciousness." ~Fyodor Dostoevsk

"The seed of suffering in you may be strong, but don't wait until you have no more suffering before allowing yourself to be happy." ~Thich Nhat Hanh

"Suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning." ~Viktor E. Frankl

"Joy lies in the fight, in the attempt, in the suffering involved, not in the victory itself." ~Mahatma Gandhi

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved." ~Helen Keller

"One shall have to undergo suffering to reach truth." ~Rig Veda

"Suffering! We owe to it all that is good in us, all that gives value to life; we owe to it pity, we owe to it courage, we owe to it all the virtues." ~Anatole France

[AnthroHeart]

I don't think that I'm suffering too much, but it's still hard to be here.

I liked this one:

"Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon." ~Woody Allen

I've had my share of loneliness.

[Horuseus]

There's a useful compilation of exercises from the Seth works here for meditative workings:

http://www.gestaltreality.com/downloads/...oberts.pdf

[Dani]

Is it me or does nearly every thread on here these days drift away from the original post into a passive argument between a few users about different ways to word more or less the same message. I am not sure if its just the way i am reading it but it really seems to be that way at the moment. I feel a lot of one up man ship is going on as well.

I would say if you want to meditate don't ask people here on this forum but goto a meditation retreat/find a well rounded teacher.

Hi Matt1, I didn't want to derail this poor thread any further, but since I wanted to answer to you, I posted it here.

There are many cases where "one-man-up-ship" takes place. When that happens, that is between those who participated in the first place and theirs to deal with alone unless people are harmed.
As far as asking about the desire to meditate, I've done so myself, for the most part. Ankh, do you meditate?
Matt1: I'm sorry that this thread is so long.

---

here's some quotes about suffering to meditate on:

"The reward of suffering is experience." ~Aeschylus

"Wisdom comes alone through suffering." ~Aeschylus

"Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but - I hope - into a better shape." ~Charles Dickens

"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known suffering...Beautiful people do not just happen." ~Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars." ~Kahlil Gibran

"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for." ~Bob Marley

"Man cannot remake himself without suffering for he is both the marble and the sculptor." ~Alexis Carrel

"Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon." ~Woody Allen

"Suffering is the sole origin of consciousness." ~Fyodor Dostoevsk

"The seed of suffering in you may be strong, but don't wait until you have no more suffering before allowing yourself to be happy." ~Thich Nhat Hanh

"Suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning." ~Viktor E. Frankl

"Joy lies in the fight, in the attempt, in the suffering involved, not in the victory itself." ~Mahatma Gandhi

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved." ~Helen Keller

"One shall have to undergo suffering to reach truth." ~Rig Veda

"Suffering! We owe to it all that is good in us, all that gives value to life; we owe to it pity, we owe to it courage, we owe to it all the virtues." ~Anatole France

Thanks, Isis.

---

I don't think that I'm suffering too much, but it's still hard to be here.

I liked this one:

"Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon." ~Woody Allen

I've had my share of loneliness.

Those who create loneliness for the sake of destruction do so only to cause pain. Their problems are their problems, even when those problems seem to sew themselves into others' lives. Once they decide not to listen kindly, they are deciding to continue living without others to help them. When closed-minded people choose to bring seemingly large problems into your life, find others who will do the opposite. Build walls not so much for protection as much as productive creation. <3

---

There's a useful compilation of exercises from the Seth works here for meditative workings:

http://www.gestaltreality.com/downloads/...oberts.pdf

Thank you, Horseus. <3

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During meditation on Sunday morning, my mind lead me to a spool of thread that wound itself into a tree. I rested inside a raindrop at the end of a leaf that clung to a branch. This florescent raindrop held swirling colors that spun around me as the liquid walls vibrated slowly around my body, becoming severed by my wings then blending together again.
I guess I was dreaming?...

[Ankh]

Ankh, do you meditate?

Yes, I do.

[Dani]

Ankh, do you meditate?

Yes, I do.

That's cool.

[Plenum]

how are your meditations going these days Dani?

[Dani]

how are your meditations going these days Dani?

I'm sorry to be responding so late. I missed that this was sent.
This are going alright with just some burning or pressure in my head and shunt. Awareness and movement as well as speaking and thinking clearly is pretty good right now.
Thank you for asking. <3

[Dani]

Lately, I've been exercising a lot, which seemed to cause mild shunt pain infrequently over this past Summer. I've noticed recently that the headaches have returned and have lasted longer than before. Today, my headache lasted for more hours than usual and included facial pain and shunt pain with an indented feeling at the shunt site By now, that pain has lessened, but it's still a concern of mine.

[Dani]

For a while around 6:00 this morning, I felt very slow and tired without being able to think clearly and had to make an effort to speak. My shunt and a couple of places in my head also burned moderately.
I hadn't woken up recently because I'm pretty nocturnal right now, but i did exercise yesterday.
I guess I should change my exercise routine from running to walking longer distances?...

[Ankh]

I guess I should change my exercise routine from running to walking longer distances?...

Sounds like you maybe should, Dani. Can you ask any doctor these questions? They are experts in this, and should know better what is good and what is bad for you.

[Dani]

I guess I should change my exercise routine from running to walking longer distances?...

Sounds like you maybe should, Dani. Can you ask any doctor these questions? They are experts in this, and should know better what is good and what is bad for you.

Thank you for your concern, Ankh. I hope that you've been doing well. <3

At this time, I'm not able to talk with a doctor about the problems that I face, but I believe that I'll be able to manage most of what I'm facing right now since I've faced worse.

[Ankh]

I guess I should change my exercise routine from running to walking longer distances?...

Sounds like you maybe should, Dani. Can you ask any doctor these questions? They are experts in this, and should know better what is good and what is bad for you.

Thank you for your concern, Ankh. I hope that you've been doing well. <3

At this time, I'm not able to talk with a doctor about the problems that I face, but I believe that I'll be able to manage most of what I'm facing right now since I've faced worse.

Why are you not able to talk about these problems with your doctor, sweety?

[Dani]

Why are you not able to talk about these problems with your doctor, sweety?
[/quote]

I'm unable to talk with a professional about these problems simply because I don't have a doctor at this point in time.

[Ankh]

Why are you not able to talk about these problems with your doctor, sweety?

I'm unable to talk with a professional about these problems simply because I don't have a doctor at this point in time.
[/quote]

Is it because of financial problems and that you can't afford it? Or something else?

[Dani]

Why are you not able to talk about these problems with your doctor, sweety?

I'm unable to talk with a professional about these problems simply because I don't have a doctor at this point in time.

Is it because of financial problems and that you can't afford it? Or something else?
[/quote]

Yes, unfortunately.

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Meditation is one of my favorite parts of existence.

[Dani]

There is a way to see the light and dark in the world together. Unfortunately, how one lives in the moment or over a long time period can shape how they see the world greatly.
Maybe meditation could help people to view the world with a clear mind?...

[AnthroHeart]

There is a way to see the light and dark in the world together. Unfortunately, how one lives in the moment or over a long time period can shape how they see the world greatly.
Maybe meditation could help people to view the world with a clear mind?...

Meditation sometimes gives me more anxiety. When I go into that state, I feel my blockages more. If I could get deep in my meditations, perhaps it would clear my mind. But I think walking outdoors is more beneficial in some regards. Too bad I don't do that much more, especially with it being so hot outside.

But sometimes meditation produces the feeling of falling or being free, and I like that.

[Dani]

Gemini Wolf wrote: Meditation sometimes gives me more anxiety. When I go into that state, I feel my blockages more. If I could get deep in my meditations, perhaps it would clear my mind. But I think walking outdoors is more beneficial in some regards. Too bad I don't do that much more, especially with it being so hot outside.

But sometimes meditation produces the feeling of falling or being free, and I like that.
[/quote]

I guess meditation is like life, then-it comes as it comes, and we must go with it.

[Dani]

For the past two days, my mind seems to have cleared more than it used to, which has been causing some hyperactivity. I don't understand why this is happening, but I"m happy to be able to think more clearly.

[sunnysideup]

I'm glad to hear, Dani. How's the pup and kitten doing by the way?

[AnthroHeart]

I'm glad things are clearer for you Dani. Meditation must be working.

I'm much too jittery for meditation lately.

[Regulus]

Almost done with that story I had intended to share with you, Dani. I’ll post it on this Meditation thread of yours when it’s complete—just a little longer for me to solidify it


-Regulus

[Adonai One]

My view on meditation after exploring its truest meaning: Willful meditation with a implicit goal in mind is unproductive. It was designed for relaxation and detachment, not for pursuing enlightenment by force.