How to be happy?

[Billy]

To all those who are happy and genuinely enjoy life, I ask you this. How? Have you always been happy, or was it something you had to work towards/develop? Do you think happiness simply comes easier to some than to others due to things like genetics/brain chemistry? Are some people "destined" to lead unhappy lives, or can everyone attain happiness and fulfilment regardless of circumstance? These questions I ask. Tips on how to more enjoy day to day life are fully welcome.

[Rhayader]

I'm generally just content, mildly happy, very rarely any joy. Actually i've come to realise that I quite enjoy despair, its hard to explain. I'm working on being able to change mood on a whim, emotional control and all that. There are people who see the positive and joy in everything and there are people who see the negative in everything. If you can see the extreme high and extreme low I find it can help see where you are on that spectrum. Then see the reasons why. It's the whole nature vs. nurture argument and how you grew up with your relationship to feelings. I think anyone can attain happiness in any circumstance if they truly desire it. I think most people don't know what they really want.

[Billy]

I'm generally just content, mildly happy, very rarely any joy.

I suppose this is similar to how I feel. The "problem" is that I want to live in perpetual joy and bliss. I want every waking moment to be a blast. That doesn't seem possible on this planet. Ahh shucks.

[Melissa]

To me the greatest lesson is accepting that happiness/joy is just like every other emotion; fleeting. No clinging, no resistance either. When you become more present in the moment and attend to your thoughts and feelings like they are your children, I mean, with care, it makes it easier to sort of 'go with the flow'. I've spent years in a dysthymic state of mind and went through a several periods of depression last year, once I actually started caring about how I felt things began to shift slowly. Became more conscious when dealing with triggers and retracing certain patterns. There are still quite a few things that weigh me down, like listening to the news on the radio but it's easier to shift after acknowledging these feelings. Peace of mind is happiness for me

[Aureus]

Meditation.

[Jade]

There's a Q'uo session that sort-of addresses this that I wanted to post and expound upon, here is the link:

http://www.llresearch.org/transcripts/is..._0425.aspx

Where Q'uo talks about how as we polarize further, our point of balance shifts, so that it is designed that we are constantly in flux and adjusting to a new center as a means of growing.

There are also those times when within the self there is the inner hollowing with inner stagnation or distress, the feeling of being stuck, this having not to do with circumstance or any outer manifestation. These are seasons of the soul and although they seem difficult and endless, they are extremely productive or potentially so. During these times, there is no true sense of balance, for the simple reason that the inner balance point, after a great deal of catalyst has been processed, is changing.

Often it puzzles those who experience these seasons of desert within, for the outer planes are halcyon and lovely, yet within all is certainly an arid waste. The negative reaction to this is often not true fear but rather a cold and (inaudible) discomfort, a feeling that one is truly unworthy, thirsty and unfed, in the spiritual sense. Again, it is well to make a friend of this discomfort, even to allow some focus upon the discomfort, a writing in a journal, or telling to oneself of just how this feels, for by doing so, by being attentive to these feelings of discomfort within, one helps one’s own process of recentering according to one’s emerging character.

We are attempting to give this instrument a vision of how the incarnational experience compact more and more beingness into the sphere of being so that the balance point does shift as entities become more polarized. We can only go so far with this imagery, and apologize for the limitations of this form of communication, but if you will picture a ball or field of energy in which there are shells of more and less density, and then see that this sphere has its cross-hatchings of energy and focuses of energy where lines cross, one may see that the learning that is done in an incarnation may compact one set of nodes of experience-gathering or another at different times, putting those portions under more pressure, and thus changing to some extent the way the sphere gets balanced.

The hope of entities who attempt to accelerate the rate of their evolution in spirit is to so live that the maximum amount of pressure is exerted upon the orb of self so that more and more and more of love may flow into or within the sphere or field of that which is your unique spiritual entity. Were you upon the path of service to self it would be important to study how to manipulate experience so that the balance point was not moved, but rather all energy would go to the perfection, or sheen, and the regularity of the sphere of being, these being attractant qualities. Because we speak to those upon the path of service to others, however, we assure each that it is not the point to attempt to look graceful or to seem centered, rather, dealing with times of feeling off-center or unbalanced the point is to make friends with this situation and involve the self in accepting and assimilating the growth, not with an eye to appearances but solely with the goal of so accepting and loving this discomfort of self that the stage is set for the process continuing.

I also found this one when I was looking for the above, it seemed fitting too:

This process of unknowing, of forgetting, is something that those experiencing the full Self gaze at as thought it were a summer camp full of the most enjoyable and interesting activities, for when you are your greater Self and not within one or another incarnation you become aware of all of those little strings and tatters, little imperfections, little places of weakness that you perceive in the fabric of your very vibration, and you look at those things upon which you yearn to make progress. And you are aware that the fastest, most efficient place for sharpening and honing those skills of discipline of the personality are found in the deep illusion of third-density incarnation. This is in addition to the desire to serve that has brought each of you to this planet at this time. You also wished to aid your own progress upon your spiritual path, and this your Earth world is by far the most skilled teacher. And if each student can find the way towards her own center this experience shall indeed yield for you all that you hope.

For the most part, this illusion works upon you not in spite of the veiling process but because of it. It works because it throws you continually into confusion. It works because it causes you continual frustration. It works because it knocks you from your center and sends you spinning. You, as a higher self, wanted this spinning, wanted the frustrations, wanted this aggravation of not knowing. Why? Because only in the ignorance of unknowing can a person choose to operate solely by faith. All the wisdom that the mind seeks pales before the wisdom of simple faith. All the ways of gaining what you have called control, good as they might be, pale before the efficiency and efficacy of the employment of faith.

http://www.llresearch.org/transcripts/is..._0425.aspx

So is the answer faith? Is the answer that we're not supposed to be happy, as STO beings?

I think as with everything else that causes distress, we are supposed to teach ourselves to love it. So we must love our sadness, our melancholy, our broken times; to make friends with them, and then it won't seem such a lonely place.

[Sagittarius]

Well you want happiness which indicates you view and feel happiness as a state that comes and goes of which you are on the shorter end of the stick i.e more feelings of unhappiness then happiness. So examine why you want happiness, why do you want the feeling ? What is the feeling, what is the opposite or not the feeling of happiness etc.

Your mind is going constantly, trying to stop/ignore/dress up/justify the thoughts is not indicative of health i.e other people are born naturally happy/unhappy the statement in itself is neutral and I would say largely correct as each individual has unique starting states of mind and body. You need to really delve into your mind observing it as you experience the feelings and thoughts that occur, cross referencing with the body and how experience is affected, basically becoming the scientific method in a sense.

Nothing your mind comes up with is happiness or not distortion. This leads to a misdirected will or focus of consciousness.

[Billy]

Well you want happiness which indicates you view and feel happiness as a state that comes and goes of which you are on the shorter end of the stick i.e more feelings of unhappiness then happiness. So examine why you want happiness, why do you want the feeling ? What is the feeling, what is the opposite or not the feeling of happiness etc.

Isn't it natural, I suppose, to want to live in happiness? The only answer to why I want to be happy is simply because it feels good. Being unhappy/unfulfilled is not pleasent, to say the least. Doesn't everyone want life to be ecstatic and fulfilling?

[reeay]

What does fulfilling mean?

[Sagittarius]

Exactly it is natural, that is what alludes you towards the changing of how define and feel happy, the base state of happiness has been changing since you became aware of it, the problem with becoming aware of how you feel is of course the added commentary within your mind and one could describe the process as an exploration of the voices within all of there aspects i.e philosophically, theoretically.

Even saying something is not pleasant, at what level are you making that observation ? From the sole perspective of your body or of your current personality construct ? You know this is just an illusion so what makes the not pleasant, not pleasant. The sensations in combination with certain thoughts of particular thing? Surely that indicates an area begging for focus and observation. This is the process of clearing distortion.

[AnthroHeart]

I get moments every so often of happiness that have nothing to do with external circumstances.

[xise]

Happiness is a perspective. What perspective is happiness? The one that causes you to be at peace with every possible situation. To find love in every possible moment. Love, and all of its sub-concepts, understanding, acceptance, presence in the moment, each ray as a form of love, etc.

In my opinion, it's just another way of describing balance (balance as defined per the Ra material.

[Fang]

Well firstly let's not conflate "happiness" with "blissful harmony".

[Rake]

To be happy you need change your current beliefs and perception of pretty much everything. Four years ago I suffered with depression and was caught in a cycle of negative thinking which of course led to a negative life and life style. It's really as simple as correcting every negative thought with a positive one. You have to fight it at times, accept that these negative thoughts exist but do not associate yourself to them.

I wouldn't say I'm happy all of the time but considering I'm currently unemployed I could be down on myself and slip into a negative thought cycle. Instead I CHOOSE to be upbeat and positive knowing that by being positive I will continue in a positive direction in my life. Rather than thinking I'm not good enough for my part time job and that's why I was given my notice. I believe I have out grown my part time job and it no longer best served my interest's so it ended leading me into what ever is next but no doubt best for me.

I hope this illustrates a positive perception of life is chosen. If you want to be happy you must choose to be. If you are not happy you are most probably identifying with negative thoughts. This literally changes your vibration in accordance with those negative thoughts which then attracts things of a like nature to you. Positive thoughts will raise your vibration because they are closer to the Love and Light that you are. Be positive and you will bring in positivity into your life.

[Fang]

To be happy you need change your current beliefs and perception of pretty much everything

Only if you're incredibly un-happy to begin with, lol.

Meditation.

Yeah nah
look, happiness and all emotions are an unconscious reaction (to unintegrated experience) dependent on the thought and belief structures which produce biases and desires of the individual being/not being satisfied. you seem to love meditation (a little to much, I mean really dude...) so no doubt the activity and resultant feeling/thoughts are satisfying a whole lot of personal bias that we can't assume everyone holds.

Do you think happiness simply comes easier to some than to others due to things like genetics/brain chemistry?

Yes, brain chemistry and thought patterns seem to be co-dependent and stimulating though. If you think you may have a imbalance of that chemical nature it is probably best to seek medical advice from a professional.

The "problem" is that I want to live in perpetual joy and bliss. I want every waking moment to be a blast. That doesn't seem possible on this planet. Ahh shucks.

Here we go, this an unrealised desire yes? You have the ability to consciously take control of your thought patterns (to a higher degree) and assess why you have this desire and why it is not being satisfied and also and most importantly have the option of choice whether to continue to accommodate this desire in your psyche after it has been accepted as part of who you were.

I, for one, am a bubbling ball of joy so I'm afraid I really can't give an easy way towards happiness (like a million self help authors have tried before) as I rarely lack a smile on my dial but the one general band-aid thing I would posit is that it begins (in a more non transient way) with acceptance of self.

[bosphorus]

for being happy it's important to be not affected by external conditions. since they play an important part on one's mood, they should be neutralized. however another thing are "virtues". i know it's a little annoying, any way just a few words. Socrates says "Virtue is sufficient for happiness." Here, believe virtue is spiritual maturity. As one evolves spiritually he/she feels some spiritual laws or Law of One effecting his behaviors. Like an adult feeling grown and acting no more as a child.

so there fore two things for happiness are: not being affected by negative conditions and being spiritually evolved.

ps: so sorry if boring. just wanted to give my point

[Poet]

A question that I often ask myself. I will try to give a more practical answer. First, I think it is necessary to say what happiness exactly is. It is not - like many people tend to believe - a kind of orgiastic feeling ("blast"), but more a steady inner flow of joy. You can find it as "Flow" in the mainstream circulation. I get for instance into this flow-state when I'm playing my music instrument and in particularly when I'm improvising on it. I have a much harder time to tune into it when I'm talking with other people. When you are "flowing", you don't think anymore, your mind is calm and you are just present in the moment.

Another helpful question might be why you are not happy right now. In my case, I often tend to focus my thoughts on the negative instead of seeing the many positive things happening around me. A teacher said to me in fourth class when I came to her with a question: "Think about it. You are a thinker." And I "think" she made a point with it. But it is not best to think about every decision and every aspect in one's life. Some things have to flow spontaneously and that is something I have to work on.

The "problem" is that I want to live in perpetual joy and bliss. I want every waking moment to be a blast. That doesn't seem possible on this planet. Ahh shucks.

Great, you already see the "problem"! This is something really positive. You also opened this thread and you got a lot of answers from people who face the same "problem" like you. You can be happy and thankful for this development! If you cultivate such an attitude in every aspect and situation of your life, you don't have to wait for your future happiness. This is not easy and it requires a lot of discipline, patience and concentration. But you have infinite time and you will achieve this at some point like me and everybody else will achieve it.

Some concrete advice would be that you find the things and persons that make you happy and try to spend as much time with it/them as you can. This can be an easy start to develop this attitude of which I talked. Also remember the Law of Attraction: Every good thing that you send out will come back to you and even more. This means that if you are happy, you will also meet happy people. Especially with this law in mind, you can make a lot of progress in a really short time.

[reeay]

The process of knowing self helps self to figure out what happiness or fulfilling means and how to get there. The closer you get to just being a truer image of your self by working thru what is less true (social and familial expectations,misunderstandings around 'who I am') you might experience life more in synch with your more true nature. Will probably know how to ask the best questions to figure this issue out once we know self more.

Many times in our lives we desire to be this and do that thinking it would lead to happiness and emotional satiation, yet when we get there it's like, ok wtf. So I think if you're gonna ask this question you would have to go on a journey of life to figure it out for your self. Like Shakespeare wrote: to thine own self be true... Who is this self? What does it mean to be true?

[Poet]

The process of knowing self helps self to figure out what happiness or fulfilling means and how to get there. The closer you get to just being a truer image of your self by working thru what is less true (social and familial expectations,misunderstandings around 'who I am') you might experience life more in synch with your more true nature. (...)

Rie, I agree that "knowing thyself" is a necessary condition for happiness. But do you (or anybody else) think that every human being has a "true nature" in itself without any other conditions being fulfilled? The true nature would then be a kind of an underlying state that doesn't change over time.

My thoughts are that a "true nature" (true self) only exists in the moment. Even if you worked through all "what is less true", you would still get an inflow of new experience. Consider you have two moments t1 and t2. Let's assume that in t1 dies a close friend. This experience will change you, you will look differently on the world, e.g. on death. You might treat people differently because you experienced that life can be suddenly over. You might value the fact that you are still alive more highly. In t2, you are not the same person like in t1.

So my point would be that if you really want to get to the bottom (= to your true self), it is just possible through the experience of the present moment because the true self just exists in this moment.

Or is there a deeper true self/nature that can't be affected through experience?

[native]

Unhappiness arises from placing responsibility on the external; that our happiness is given to us when our needs are met through certain circumstances and others. So basically it is a constant attempt at control. "If the external would just mold itself in such and such a way, I will be happy." Much of it fails naturally, so we are continually let down.

The nature of this is vastly complex, but simply put the spirit is attempting to address what it is that we truly desire, and that happiness is a choice that comes within. When this is realized it's the beginning of a greater awakening, because it's understood that the world doesn't owe you anything, and therefore the infinite is able to express itself to you freely. This release of control on the world is one among many aspects of giving without expectation of return. A lot of people realize this by hitting rock bottom (myself included). It can't be put into words, but it just becomes understood that happiness is a choice, a state of being..not the result of anything else.

Certain desires are natural of course. We each have our own unique wants and needs (otherwise there would be no opportunity for service), but the idea is that it has to be fully realized that happiness comes within before these things can be addressed in more of a balanced manner.

[reeay]

It's not true self but true image if self... The aspect of personality that one want to explore in this lifetime. True self is more like the creator. We are working to realize the true self. Until then we work with the relative, mundane self thru our true and false image of self.

The mundane self has true and false images. False image of self is like parental, social expectations, misunderstanding of who we really are... When we encounter this aspect of self we become rather distressed or off balanced. This is what creates a sense of unhappiness or dissatisfaction. This is according to some understanding of personality psychology.

Of course, there is more truer image of ones self (personality) that becomes ones individuality. We grow out of parental and social expectations of how we should be and begin to live as we want to be. Tho we are whole personalities in our original state, we select the aspect of personality that we want to explore in this incarnation. The more mature individual knows him or herself in more broad repertoires of personality bc they have accepted a lot of what they learn about themselves. Personality is stable tho. We just experience different aspects of it in the moment. If this creates confusion, it means that one needs to balance this aspect by acceptance.

[zenmaster]

More generally, unhappiness is the consequence of a reinforced pattern of mind that distances us from a more authentic nature. The pattern is called upon to interpret perception, as it itself is interpreted experience. The "something is wrong" feeling is where consciousness is not congruent with, and therefore not accepting of, the perception provided by the reflection of the personality in catalyst. Regardless of the cause of the unhappiness, it is always possible to (re)evaluate the terms of acceptance which had been assumed, this potentially changing experience.

[Ashim]

More generally, unhappiness is the consequence of a reinforced pattern of mind that distances us from a more authentic nature. The pattern is called upon to interpret perception, as it itself is interpreted experience. The "something is wrong" feeling is where consciousness is not congruent with, and therefore not accepting of, the perception provided by the reflection of the personality in catalyst. Regardless of the cause of the unhappiness, it is always possible to (re)evaluate the terms of acceptance which had been assumed, this potentially changing experience.

Are you happy?

If yes, how did you reach that state?

[Billy]

Thank you all for your lovely responses. You have all given me much to ponder

More generally, unhappiness is the consequence of a reinforced pattern of mind that distances us from a more authentic nature. The pattern is called upon to interpret perception, as it itself is interpreted experience. The "something is wrong" feeling is where consciousness is not congruent with, and therefore not accepting of, the perception provided by the reflection of the personality in catalyst. Regardless of the cause of the unhappiness, it is always possible to (re)evaluate the terms of acceptance which had been assumed, this potentially changing experience.

Could you maybe give me a practical example of such a pattern, as well as, how one could change it? Thanks zen.

[zenmaster]

Thank you all for your lovely responses. You have all given me much to ponder

More generally, unhappiness is the consequence of a reinforced pattern of mind that distances us from a more authentic nature. The pattern is called upon to interpret perception, as it itself is interpreted experience. The "something is wrong" feeling is where consciousness is not congruent with, and therefore not accepting of, the perception provided by the reflection of the personality in catalyst. Regardless of the cause of the unhappiness, it is always possible to (re)evaluate the terms of acceptance which had been assumed, this potentially changing experience.

Could you maybe give me a practical example of such a pattern, as well as, how one could change it? Thanks zen.

The pattern is one's world view - the "personality shell". The nature of "mind" with respect to any state, given a circumstance, is that of refreshing a pattern of that which has been established prior by willing choice. Does not matter with what distortion that choice was operating, awareness was thus affected to accept and to process based on the determined limitations of what was desired and willed. Whether or not one decides to participate in modifying experience, prior experience will continue to determine how catalyst is interpreted (influences and operates) all the way down to the physical level.

[anagogy]

To all those who are happy and genuinely enjoy life, I ask you this. How? Have you always been happy, or was it something you had to work towards/develop? Do you think happiness simply comes easier to some than to others due to things like genetics/brain chemistry? Are some people "destined" to lead unhappy lives, or can everyone attain happiness and fulfilment regardless of circumstance? These questions I ask. Tips on how to more enjoy day to day life are fully welcome.

I can't say that I'm always happy, but it is something I've had a degree of profound success with at times (and other times not so much).

Emotions are very very very important. From my perspective, they are the most important thing, in fact.

Did you ever wonder why you have emotions? I mean, what are they? What is their purpose?

Let me start by saying they aren't just a chemical cocktail in your body and brain (though they are that too). Your emotions are like spiritual GPS. They tell you, in any given moment, how far away vibrationally, you are from your highest desires. Your Higher Self embodies your highest desires, and to the extent that your focus deviates from alignment with that, you feel bad, and to the extent that your focus aligns with that you will feel good.

So, in a nutshell, your emotions are a chemical response felt in your body in response to the play between the frequency being offered by you, the lower personality shell, and the frequency being offered by you, the higher personality shell (higher self). Emotion is a vibrational translation of the relativity between those two frequencies.

To the extent that those frequencies are resonating in a complimentary fashion, you feel absolute JOY, love, happiness, well being, and all emotions you deem wonderful. Those are sensations of alignment with the source inside you. And to the extent that they deviate from one another, you feel terrible, or something in-between, depending on the degree of alignment/misalignment.

So for example, lets say you have a negative opinion of someone for whatever reason. Your Higher Self doesn't have a negative opinion about anyone (it is pure positive energy and will never join you in negative time/space), so in that moment your thoughts deviated from your Higher Self (the Logos portion of your personality shell). You experience that deviation as negative emotion (like anger or annoyance). Those emotions are sensations of separation or misalignment.

Nobody is destined to live an unhappy life. The potential for happiness is always present (as well as the potential for misery), and there is no condition which precludes all possibility of finding alignment with your Higher Self.

So to find your way back to feeling good, you have to feel your way back to thoughts that are in alignment with the source inside of you. But if you are in a really negative place it could take awhile, because you can't think thoughts that are drastically different from where you are currently vibrating. You have to just keep reaching for a visceral feeling of emotional relief. This will naturally balance you. Well being is the feeling of balance.

[fusions]

Mma Fighter who goes on a journey :

'"All this money, fame, this, that and the other," he continues. "Truly in your heart and soul, you get to this place at 60, and you have some fond memories, but truthfully you're unfulfilled and unhappy. You have that feeling, and you can't shake it. ‘What is that? You tell me.' That's scary, and a lot of people get there. They get to a certain place and they have lots of things. Lots of good, fond memories - pictures in a book. But something is still unfulfilled, unhappy. That's the conundrum, and it'll happen to anybody."

After Vipassana meditation retreat:

'"This is the first time in my life I even understand what happiness is," he says. "It's nothing 'The Ultimate Fighter' could've brought me, none of that money, nothing in world could've told me what happened until I actually figured out how this world actually works. Now I know what happiness is. You've got to really fucking detach. Some people, it doesn't take that to be happy. But for a guy like me, for some reason, I'm much happier than any time in my whole life."

Hope this helps. Love to all.

[Crown]

Q:How to be happy?
A: Don't fear.


The fear of anything that takes us out of our personal comfort zone. The fear of any outcome that you convinced yourself to be not optimal. We have reached a stage where our survival mechanisms no longer precisely doctrine our interactions with other people. In other words, being afraid of things like "what will other people say?", is a behavior derived from primitive survival instincts which hold true, effective and valid even today in most cases; But in some cases that whole idea is no longer needed. Everything within the boundaries of reason of course. I am not talking about being afraid of hurtful or lethal things. We value life.