what is the biggest frustration in your life right now?

[Plenum]

what is the biggest frustration in your life right now?

[Aloysius]

what is the biggest frustration in your life right now?

Probably the disappointment from my family/friends who expected me to turn out differently, best I can do is to let them know I'm happy at least I guess. That and having no ambition, no friends, no money and no one to talk to. I haven't found a frustrating factor that hasn't been fruitful catalyst though.
What about you plenum?

[Plenum]

awww. It's hard when there are expectations of you ... and you must disappoint, because the first calling is to be true to oneself, and not be a puppet of a person to fulfill someone else's dreams of you.

as for myself, I feel like I am brimming with energy and potentials, and just keen and eager for opportunities to express it. It's not that there are no current outlets; I get to share my thoughts here in threads and replies on the forum, and I am active in the chatroom too. My personal life is well in order with friends I have heart-to-hearts with, and work is very pleasant, routine, and supportive.

just yesterday I had the opportunity to compose some music which I haven't done in quite some time. It was nice using those skills once again.

but there is such a great joy in being with the self, and also interacting with others ... it is a fullness of Being.

it just seems that I can pour this Energy out in greater and newer ways ... almost like a pianist learning a larger repertoire. And really, it is quite a giddy feeling!

so yes, just keeping my pulse on newer responsibilities and callings for my service :d

[Aloysius]

awww. It's hard when there are expectations of you ... and you must disappoint, because the first calling is to be true to oneself, and not be a puppet of a person to fulfill someone else's dreams of you.

as for myself, I feel like I am brimming with energy and potentials, and just keen and eager for opportunities to express it. It's not that there are no current outlets; I get to share my thoughts here in threads and replies on the forum, and I am active in the chatroom too. My personal life is well in order with friends I have heart-to-hearts with, and work is very pleasant, routine, and supportive.

just yesterday I had the opportunity to compose some music which I haven't done in quite some time. It was nice using those skills once again.

but there is such a great joy in being with the self, and also interacting with others ... it is a fullness of Being.

it just seems that I can pour this Energy out in greater and newer ways ... almost like a pianist learning a larger repertoire. And really, it is quite a giddy feeling!

so yes, just keeping my pulse on newer responsibilities and callings for my service :d

Good to hear plenman. Yeah my situation sounds a lot worse than it actually is, I'm actually having a ball it's just I'm quite aware of the misunderstandings between me and the ones I hold dear and it's not really something I can really change without significantly infringing upon their freewill.
Haha it seems you are quite the major melody Plenum, my only other frustration is that my recording equipment has been acting up, keen to belt out some ambient experimental jazz fusion electronica

[Spaced]

My main frustrations come from not knowing how to translate my creative potential into anything tangible. Like I'll have a lot of ideas or stories in my head but as soon as I try to put them down on paper I just can't find the right words, or I'll get caught up trying to get one detail right and the rest of it will escape me. It feels to me like my ability to imagine exceeds my ability to express that imagination. I see an empty page in front of me and it's potential intimidates me.

[Melissa]

That nothing ever seems to work out the way I'd hoped it would. I mean, without a HUGE amount of effort. I'm so tired.

[Adonai One]

Recovering from the trauma of fully realizing magic is real.

[Plenum]

My main frustrations come from not knowing how to translate my creative potential into anything tangible. Like I'll have a lot of ideas or stories in my head but as soon as I try to put them down on paper I just can't find the right words, or I'll get caught up trying to get one detail right and the rest of it will escape me. It feels to me like my ability to imagine exceeds my ability to express that imagination. I see an empty page in front of me and it's potential intimidates me.

how much of this is a 'technical factor' - ie, not having the technical or trained skills to channel ideas (concept complexes) into words/patterns/sketches?

when I first discovered classical music, I was age 17. I just stumbled upon this classical music station on the radio. The sounds! the epiphanies! I had never heard anything like this! I remember the first two pieces that I listened to. One was a Haydn Symphony, and another was a piece of Bach, from the Well Tempered Klavier. From that moment on, I was hooked and inspired. I had found something that spoke to me most most deeply.

and so began my particular journey with classical. I rented a piano, and played (poorly) for years. I went to the library, and borrowed books on music theory. I bought a sh&tton of cd's. I listened to classical. I read the bio's. I read the sheetmusic.

this process all unfolded over a period over the next 5-7 years, while I had the gift and opportunity to still be studying at university, and had bunches of freetime available to me. And even with this dedication and self-training, I was still pretty bad at it lol.

but eventually, enough of the patterns ingrain themselves into your mind that they become a tool or interface between the artistic (imagined) and the transcribed (that which sits on the page of sheet music). That 'interface' is the artistic gift to channel meaningfully (in my humble opinion). It does involve some prowess. it does involve some talent, and yes, it does also involve years of sweat and discipline and training.

of course, this little anecdote of mine might not be at all relevant to your situation, and some other impediment or understanding is standing in the way of fruitfully applying what you see in your mind's eye. But I'd thought I'd just offer it anyway. Feel free to trash it if it doesn't apply to your situation

peace brother, I recognise your light,

plenum

[Spaced]

I think it does indeed apply to my situation plenum, thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. I admit, the hardest part for me is the idea of putting the time and effort into developing my skills. I've always had this attitude of "well if I'm not good at something right away, what's the point?" Like if something doesn't come to me easily and effortlessly than it's not what I should be doing, but that's something I need to get over

[Melissa]

Probably the disappointment from my family/friends who expected me to turn out differently, best I can do is to let them know I'm happy at least I guess. That and having no ambition, no friends, no money and no one to talk to.

I'm in the exact same position. Except everybody knows I'm not happy.

[michael430]

[deleted]

[BrownEye]

My issue is tracking down some sort of block in my brain that keeps me from channeling. The beings meld into me just fine, but my waking self suddenly rises.

[Melissa]

Good topic! Mine is nicotine addiction :-(

Never have I ever loved and hated something at the same time like this. Ugggh

Oh, I know that feeling!

[AnthroHeart]

Frustrations in dealing with my mom, and having to work. Though work is a privilege. My mom likes to threaten my dogs wellbeing by saying she's going to call animal control on me for not taking care of them, but I do.

[Plenum]

My issue is tracking down some sort of block in my brain that keeps me from channeling. The beings meld into me just fine, but my waking self suddenly rises.

so what happens? are you trying some sort of trance work?

[BrownEye]

I have my wife try to hypnotize me. I am told that my guides pull me up when I am in the proper trance state, yet they will not give detail as to why.

I am fully aware of when a guide comes in, as it comes in as breath. It's like the lungs will suddenly fill up, what feels like beyond capacity, and I begin breathing from some pocket as the lungs remain full.

My mother was able to see and interact with one of them while she was under, and she described an immense amount of info waiting to come through. I am curious as to what this info might be.

[Plenum]

thanks for the answer B/E. We are all driven by an insatiable desire to find answers!! to get the 'info' as you describe.

it's also cool that your close family members are involved and believe along the same lines. My best friend (and flatmate) would just LOL if I tried such an experiment

but yeah, if I know one thing from having been on the forums with you for the last 20 months or so, you *will* find a way to make it work hehe.

plenum.

[Marc]

My lack of strength to have focus on spiritual things. I'm too lazy to meditate that much and enjoy distractions. I'm definately getting the whole thoughtlessness thing down these days. I'm not putting much effort into things, I'm just enjoying being. Also I'm kinda frustrated at my lack of care to be frustrated. Lol

[reeay]

Caring for those beautiful animals could be 'meditative' no? lol Like scooping up poop could be a meditative experience.

[Marc]

It is. It's mindless work that needs next to no thought. It is meditative, just not in a way I'm used to. My life has changed with my change in jobs. It's quite a difference from being stressed out constantly. I'm super void these days, its quite wonderful and giving me a totally different set of experiancial catalyst.

---

And I kinda want to go work in the zoo doo yard. Poop is fun.

[reeay]

lol mindful poop scooping meditation. Moving meditation is my favorite... being aware of the moment while working.

[GentleReckoning]

I feel like I'm in a holding chamber. I've learned so much, but simply have no ambition. Nothing to shoot for. The things that I thought I would do anything for I have simply decided will come when/if I'm ready for them.

That said, I do have my curiosity. Lots of mineral companions are finding their way into my life in place of other humans. Working with them is always an adventure.

[C-JEAN]

I am not gettin sick over it, but
my BIGGEST frustration is:
the fact that we are doing almost nothing to
STOP using our stupid FOSSIL energy, and
switch to pollution free energy(ies).

!! Like hydrogen H or H2 vehicules !!
The big oil companies could develop kits to
modify our vehicules to H, and make the same
money!! and give/set a "good exemple" !!

Humans are suiciding the earth, right now !!!

Blue skies.

[AnthroHeart]

I'm kind of stuck driving a truck with low fuel efficiency. It's paid off, but I have poor credit, and my bank I believe has a lien on my truck since I haven't gotten my title. I owe them for a loan I didn't pay off, so I think they kept my title.
I don't really like driving cars because they're lower to the ground and it feels like you're moving faster than in a truck. Oh well, at least I don't own a gas guzzling sports car.

[Ankh]

Three lower rays! :p

as for myself, I feel like I am brimming with energy and potentials, and just keen and eager for opportunities to express it. It's not that there are no current outlets; I get to share my thoughts here in threads and replies on the forum, and I am active in the chatroom too. My personal life is well in order with friends I have heart-to-hearts with, and work is very pleasant, routine, and supportive.

just yesterday I had the opportunity to compose some music which I haven't done in quite some time. It was nice using those skills once again.

but there is such a great joy in being with the self, and also interacting with others ... it is a fullness of Being.

it just seems that I can pour this Energy out in greater and newer ways ... almost like a pianist learning a larger repertoire. And really, it is quite a giddy feeling!

so yes, just keeping my pulse on newer responsibilities and callings for my service :d

I didn't get it, plenum. So what was/is your frustration? If reading just above, it sounds like your life is just a blast, without any frustrations? :p

[Hototo]

Me? I'm not sure.

[Plenum]

it just seems that I can pour this Energy out in greater and newer ways ... almost like a pianist learning a larger repertoire. And really, it is quite a giddy feeling!

so yes, just keeping my pulse on newer responsibilities and callings for my service :d

I didn't get it, plenum. So what was/is your frustration? If reading just above, it sounds like your life is just a blast, without any frustrations? :p

oh, hello Ankh!

umm, I guess the part that is underlined above ... I guess there is still a 'gap' between the present me and the learning of the new 'repertoire' or the opportunities to serve in newer ways. I guess it could be seen as a mild form of impatience perhaps? but I do admit, it is not an overwhelming frustration

- -

yes, and I commiserate with your dealings with the lower three rays! imo, they are deeply rooted in the past usually, and its very challenging (and confronting) to go back and address one's 'core beliefs' that were formed in a very vulnerable time (our childhood, when we might have felt imposed on (in certain situations), or we misread or misinterpreted an experience as meaning something other than it was).

it is a form of psychological deconstruction, and some of the hardest parts about changing one's interpretation of the past is to admit that one has been living for years under a false conception, and that you were the one 'doing' or 'enabling' these types of blockages. That is tremendously challenging, and the reason why a 'true mirror' can indeed be mentally unravelling if we are not prepared to see ourselves as we truly are.

but best wishes on that; as Q'uo says, the clearer the lower three rays, the greater the flow into the heart ... and all positive work is rooted in the heart. Whether it is the conveyance of wisdom (blue ray), the psychic seeing (indigo), or the union with the One Inf Creator (violet ray). Those functions depend on the heart, and the heart depends on a stable foundation (think of the physical organ of the heart, it is quite happy to pump whatever is in the blood around the body, but if the 'blood' itself is weak, it cannot nourish the cells of the body, even though it is being circulated quite willingly. The lower three rays form a 'strong blood' that can move everywhere within the self (the 'body' of beingness).

ok, that's enough elaboration from me

peace and namaste as always,

your friend,

plenum

[Marc]

I am not gettin sick over it, but
my BIGGEST frustration is:
the fact that we are doing almost nothing to
STOP using our stupid FOSSIL energy, and
switch to pollution free energy(ies).

!! Like hydrogen H or H2 vehicules !!
The big oil companies could develop kits to
modify our vehicules to H, and make the same
money!! and give/set a "good exemple" !!

Humans are suiciding the earth, right now !!!

Blue skies.

Humans will eventually die off because of their stupidity. Lol what an interesting species. It will leave room for 4D then on this sphere. It's all a part of the plan.

All is well.

[xise]

Right now, learning to deal and process the catalyst of disappointment. Somewhat hard when I disappoint myself, exceedingly hard to deal when those close to me are disappointed with me (usually unjustified but not always).

[Brittany]

Right now? I've been experiencing mind-bending agony for over 12 hours now, with almost no sleep in the past 24. Since my spiritual awakening I have studied and dissected this physical pain that is a constant in my life, trying to figure out what karma or personality distortion I need to free myself from in order to alleviate these symptoms. I have tried to lovingly accept each lesson this condition has brought me, to process every distortion its study has revealed within me. I have changed my diet and my lifestyle. I have taken supplements, painkillers and even <shudder> prescribed medications, none of which do much of anything to relieve the pain (the industrial grade painkillers like Vicodin will at least make me too high to realize I'm in pain, but I don't have consistent access to those). Standard doctors and reiki practitioners alike cannot pull this pain up at its roots, and even if temporary relief comes, it always returns with a vengeance.

I have begged and pleaded with my guides and angels to remove this thorn from my side, or to at least tell me why it is there, and their answer is always, always the same: "Sister, this is just something you must endure." And so I endure. And I write stuff like this when the pain gets bad enough to propel me into altered states of consciousness:

"As my pain drives me into the dark watches of the night, I journey the land of Nod with eyes awakened by the blessing of agony. Each shadow, each sensation is a thing anew, bearing colors of the seen unseen, which have no description in the tongues of man. I walk with my Aio, and in my hands He places his staff, and at my shoulder sits his Raven, and I am blessed among the living to share this communion."

And that's beautiful and all. I've had some really profound moments come from this pain. But I'm also really tired. This fragile little body has been dragged through hell and sometimes the plain old physical catalyst is just enormously burdensome.