Passing the time

[Unbound]

I don't even know what I want. What I do know is that I don't want this. Surely there is a more efficient way of knowing, rather than trial and error. I dont want to live in a state of despair, exhaustion and hopelessness, but I'm finding it so hard to let go. You are all so sweet. Thanks for the replies

If your body was stronger and healthier, would you find more to be worthwhile in your experience?

[Billy]

I don't even know what I want. What I do know is that I don't want this. Surely there is a more efficient way of knowing, rather than trial and error. I dont want to live in a state of despair, exhaustion and hopelessness, but I'm finding it so hard to let go. You are all so sweet. Thanks for the replies

If your body was stronger and healthier, would you find more to be worthwhile in your experience?

I've been asking myself this question as of late. The answer is probably not. Life would be more comfortable I suppose, but I agree with your sentiments on comfort. I look around at how others spend the days and it doesn't really vibe with me. This is gonna sound horrible, but sometimes I say to myself "how on earth does that person live like that day in and day out". It's not like I hate myself or anything. In fact, I'm rather fond of who I am. Sure, there are things which bother me deeply, like my inability to articulate my deepest feelings, but that is ok. I think I've been underestimating how vital external circumstance/situation is to our well being. Something as seemingly trivial as which suburb im walking through or the architecture or design of a building I'm in can have a surpising effect on my current mental state. What did guatama mean when he said "happiness can only be found within"? Did he mean external circumstance doesn't matter? Damn you veil haha.

[Aureus]

What did guatama mean when he said "happiness can only be found within"? Did he mean external circumstance doesn't matter?

Something along the lines of: You have the power to change yourself to the better; to become more resillient to the pain and suffering that your current problems are causing. To reveal this self you must go inside, identify the blockages and work to lessen them.

This is done through honest introspection and examination of experience.. The quickest route is meditation.

I know for a fact that meditation is taking me successively higher and further away from the broken being I used to be.

[native]

The thing is that, I don't feel as though I can put in the effort to make such major changes to my thought patterns because, we'll, you guessed it. Its a vicious cycle really. I just can't imagine living like this for a long time.

What's funny is that we go through the same routine, just waiting for something new to happen. I've learned that if you want change to emerge you're going to have to break your routine and do things differently. That's common sense, but we just expect that one day things will just change yet they never do..which feeds the depression. The simple act of doing something you've never done or going somewhere different will set up new possibilities. I've suggested before about spending time outside. Maybe you could try gardening. You will encounter many like-minds by getting involved in local gardening/organic/permaculture groups. People conduct nature walks all the time..edible plant walks, herbalism walks etc.

Your tiredness and unwillingness to put in effort are symptoms of depression by the way. I used to come home from school and sleep until dinner! You're going to have to put in effort to fix that depression. You've shown interest in understanding the deeper nature of mind, so you might want to look into zen buddhism or daoism. Browse some books or watch some youtube videos by Eckhart Tolle or Alan Watts. Thich Nhat Hanh is a good beginning point also. I haven't read Stephen Batchelor's books yet, but I've browsed through Buddhism Without Beliefs and Living with the Devil, which both look good.

[xise]

If the Ra material resonates with you, perhaps these balancing suggestions may be of assistance:

Ra: I am Ra.

Exercise One. This is the most nearly centered and usable within your illusion complex. The moment contains love. That is the lesson/goal of this illusion or density. The exercise is to consciously seek that love in awareness and understanding distortions. The first attempt is the cornerstone. Upon this choosing rests the remainder of the life-experience of an entity. The second seeking of love within the moment begins the addition. The third seeking powers the second, the fourth powering or doubling the third. As with the previous type of empowerment, there will be some loss of power due to flaws within the seeking in the distortion of insincerity. However, the conscious statement of self to self of the desire to seek love is so central an act of will that, as before, the loss of power due to this friction is inconsequential.

Exercise Two. The universe is one being. When a mind/body/spirit complex views another mind/body/spirit complex, see the Creator. This is an helpful exercise.

Exercise Three. Gaze within a mirror. See the Creator.

Exercise Four. Gaze at the creation which lies about the mind/body/spirit complex of each entity. See the Creator.

The foundation or prerequisite of these exercises is a predilection towards what may be called meditation, contemplation, or prayer. With this attitude, these exercises can be processed. Without it, the data will not sink down into the roots of the tree of mind, thus enabling and ennobling the body and touching the spirit.

Comments: A lot of people seem to be uninterested in exploring meditation/contemplation/prayer for whatever reason (when I say exploring, I mean that when contemplation or prayer doesn't seem work then the exploring would consist of continuing to spend considerable time with the numerous forms of meditation to see if any version works for you - via trial and error), but I would definitely recommend it from personal experience.

15.12 Questioner: How does an individual go about balancing himself? What is the first step?

Ra: I am Ra. The steps are only one; that is, an understanding of the energy centers which make up the mind/body/spirit complex. This understanding may be briefly summarized as follows. The first balancing is of the Malkuth, or Earth, vibratory energy complex, called the red-ray complex. An understanding and acceptance of this energy is fundamental. The next energy complex, which may be blocked is the emotional, or personal complex, also known as the orange-ray complex. This blockage will often demonstrate itself as personal eccentricities or distortions with regard to self-conscious understanding or acceptance of self.

The third blockage resembles most closely that which you have called ego. It is the yellow-ray or solar plexus center. Blockages in this center will often manifest as distortions towards power manipulation and other social behaviors concerning those close and those associated with the mind/body/spirit complex. Those with blockages in these first three energy centers, or nexi, will have continuing difficulties in ability to further their seeking of the Law of One.

The center of heart, or green ray, is the center from which third-density beings may springboard, shall we say, towards infinite intelligence. Blockages in this area may manifest as difficulties in expressing what you may call universal love or compassion.

The blue-ray center of energy streaming is the center which, for the first time, is outgoing as well as inpouring. Those blocked in this area may have difficulty in grasping the spirit/mind complexes of its own entity and further difficulty in expressing such understandings of self. Entities blocked in this area may have difficulties in accepting communication from other mind/body/spirit complexes.

The next center is the pineal or indigo-ray center. Those blocked in this center may experience a lessening of the influx of intelligent energy due to manifestations which appear as unworthiness. This is that of which you spoke. As you can see, this is but one of many distortions due to the several points of energy influx into the mind/body/spirit complex. The indigo-ray balancing is quite central to the type of work which revolves about the spirit complex, which has its influx then into the transformation or transmutation of third density to fourth density, it being the energy center receiving the least distorted outpourings of love/light from intelligent energy and having also the potential for the key to the gateway of intelligent infinity.

The remaining center of energy influx is simply the total expression of the entity’s vibratory complex of mind, body, and spirit. It is as it will be, “balanced” or “imbalanced” has no meaning at this energy level, for it gives and takes in its own balance. Whatever the distortion may be, it cannot be manipulated as can the others and, therefore, has no particular importance in viewing the balancing of an entity.

I think these two quotes together form a powerhouse of balancing wisdom. I know they've worked wonders for me.

[Billy]

I have a real aversion to meditation (the kind where you sit and focus on the breath) and I'm not sure why. I've been trying on and off for a little while now but no luck. The thought of doing it makes me really restless and uneasy. I do contemplate however. My mind is almost always contemplating and thinking. It's rather exhausting in fact. I have been making positive changes in my life but I still feel this burden on my shoulders. Guess I just gotta keep on keeping on. Can anyone recommend me some contemplation exercises perhaps?

[AnthroHeart]

I don't do breath work either. I try to meditate, but don't get that far.

[Billy]

I don't do breath work either. I try to meditate, but don't get that far.

Do you know why you feel this way? I don't quite know why I do. Im much more comfortable with contemplating and trying to accept the parts of me which aren't harmonious with love.

[AnthroHeart]

I'm not sure, but I'm just observing how I feel.

[xise]

I have a real aversion to meditation (the kind where you sit and focus on the breath) and I'm not sure why. I've been trying on and off for a little while now but no luck. The thought of doing it makes me really restless and uneasy.

Early on in my exploration of meditation (prior to finding the Law of One material), I experienced what you are describing - I was totally restless and uneasy. My mother has meditated for 1.5 hours a day for 15 years, so she encouraged me to continue meditating. At the time, I was meditating (or trying to meditate) for about 1 hour three times a week.


After about two months of that, it was like a reservoir broke. All that tension and restless energy left my body during a meditation and was replaced by a surge of orgasmic energy along my energy centers. It felt as if a great burden had been lifted from me. This provided temporarily relief to many of my issues. The temporary relief also seemed to let me view my issues from a new perspective. I was able to use contemplation and actively try out new beliefs and find new balance. There also might have been deeper information downloads during some of these mediations - I don't know. Lots of violet crown twirls. This all occurred right around the time I found the Law of One material.


I believe the restlessness and uneasiness came from my imbalanced distortions energetically surfacing during my meditation by virtue of my suppression system letting it's guard down. No more was my mind stuffing my issues back into the deep recesses of my mind - I was facing it, energetically and emotionally, here and now. In my experience, as things come out of the subconcious mind, they do not all come out at once - sometimes I get the raw emotions without the imbalanced belief itself coming to light, or sometimes vice versa. Both elements were important for me to work through. As I became more and more balanced, that surge of orgasmic energy is less present, but it's almost as if a 1/100 diffuse version of that is constantly running through my body, as long as I meditate every few days (well it might continue to be there, I just happened to have meditated at least weekly for the past 2 years). It makes me naturally not want to drink more than 1 drink because the alcohol seems to make that feeling go away.


These days, I still occasionally feel restlessness, primarily of two types. One sort of restlessness is when I've been stressed and haven't meditated - this type is similar to the initial restlessness I felt. The meditation serves to release that tension; of course ultimately it's an imbalanced belief that is causing the stress in the first place so I always look for cause to balance. The other sort of restlessness is when I've been meditating for long time (either 1.5 hrs+ if I haven't meditated in a few days, or if I'm doing daily meditations 45 mins+); I start to feel full of energy, like an overcharged battery. It should be noted that I tend to focus on running energy up and down for the first 10-15 minutes of my meditations consciously, and so perhaps I am actively overcharging myself during these sessions. Or perhaps it's another wall of some sort I've yet to break through, I don't know. But it is definitely different than the restlessness from being stressed.


It should also be noted that meditation seems to also activate a super-sleeping on a problem effect for me - that is, when I contemplated something, enter a deep meditation with the initial intent of figuring things out, I gain insight usually within a few hours of the meditation as if I've slept on an issue, presumably from something emerging from my subconscious. I am by no means an expert on meditation but I wanted to share my experiences. It's still something I'm exploring. I find the veil to start breaking down the more and more frequently I meditate, so it can definitely be an interesting thing to do.


And in my opinion, mediation is a lot like exercise. You start doing it, or do it less than weekly, it'll be hard and painful most likely. But if you get into meditation shape by doing it at least two serious sessions biweekly for 1-2 months, I'm betting that you'll be amazed at what you see.

[ScottK]

Hi there Folk-love,

I just wanted to share a couple thoughts.

As I read the thread, my first strong belief is that you are here now for an important reason to experience whatever it is you are experiencing right now. So, you are exactly where you should be, trying to work through what you are supposed to be working through.

Our lives aren't meant to be easy - you wouldn't learn anything if they were.

A lifetime is a long time. You are living a play - a play where you don't know the outcome, but are one of the actors/actresses and writing the script at the same time. Personally, I can look back at the experiences I've had in my life and there were many hardships. Now being 20 or 30 years later, I can see exactly why I had those hardships and the very important role those hardships had to mold me into that which I am today. You don't know and can't know the why of anything, so just roll with it. You will always be changing, so don't worry about stagnating.

When you contemplate, I would focus on finding your fear - fear is always a problem. Fear paralyzes.. Once you understand the Law of One, you know that there is nothing to fear.

Also, an epidemic in our world is over-analysis. The best decisions in my life were given very little thought. "Yeah, ok, I'll do that" - Let your intuition decide.

Those are my guidelines - yours may be different, but please know that you are working on the right things for the script that is your life.

[Jade]

I have a real aversion to meditation (the kind where you sit and focus on the breath) and I'm not sure why. I've been trying on and off for a little while now but no luck. The thought of doing it makes me really restless and uneasy. I do contemplate however. My mind is almost always contemplating and thinking. It's rather exhausting in fact. I have been making positive changes in my life but I still feel this burden on my shoulders. Guess I just gotta keep on keeping on. Can anyone recommend me some contemplation exercises perhaps?

Meditating is an exercise, and it's more comparable to a marathon than a sprint. You have to build up the systems that utilize this portion of your being through repeated efforts and continued conditioning. The exhausting burden is that of the mind complex - constantly processing things, when if you learn to quiet the mind and allow the monkey brain to take some time off, the relief is limited only by the endurance you have built.

[Unbound]

Breath work can amplify the energies in your body which can then be used to be cleared and released. If you are doing breathing exercises, thats good! That means you are stimulating your breath and your body. The key is to just keep breathing and "breath comfort in to your discomfort". It will take some effort and focus of the will, but that is part of the point, to train the attention to strengthen the will and therefore the faith in time.

[Aureus]

[Revised]

[Melissa]

I don't meditate either, usually I turn on some music, close my eyes and become aware of the movements. It's the only way for me to slow down my brain and it's great to feel the energy flowing again.

[Rake]

My experience with meditation is that I have to get past the fact my body and mind dont want to be still. Once I get past the threshold so to speak they calm down and I can meditate for an hour no problem. I still have trouble silencing the mind but there's a 10 min adjustment phase.

[Namaste]

Most people are uncomfortable with meditation purely because of expectations.

If you meditate for a goal, rather than the process, its efficacy is greatly hindered and unrest is easily attained.

Meditation is simply being in the moment. Don't use it as a goal of spiritual enlightenment or higher energy work.

Do it simply because you do it, without any expectation.

Something that really helped me was to stop timing it. A timer is a goal, and a goal can disturb.

Just meditate for as long as you want, without judgement.

In time, the time will increase, as you begin to meditate for the process, as it will feel good.

[Unbound]

I have a real aversion to meditation (the kind where you sit and focus on the breath) and I'm not sure why.

Had that too.. Follow my signature for a different way.

I like your techniques, they remind me of qi gong!

[Aureus]

I like your techniques, they remind me of qi gong!

Wait til you add the crystals as well, BAM!

[Unbound]

I like your techniques, they remind me of qi gong!

Wait til you add the crystals as well, BAM!

I do use crystals for qi gong sometimes, usually during sitting work, I have been really in to my quartz wand lately. I like to use qi gong to open up my system and sensitivity before working with crystals more thoroughly as well. I would like to try some exercises with my pyrite sphere though, I think that would be effective for core strengthening.