Levels of Personal Meditation

[Loki]

Can someone explain this type of visions which seem to be moving my mind from the thinking phase to this vision phase making my meditation impossible? Is this some kind of dream which I can't remember even if I have it while awake?

Taking the perspective of courtship, such an experience is a microcosmic depiction of our overall relationship between conscious and unconscious minds. My conscious awareness that wields the will is the suitor, and the mysterious experience is the object of the suitor's attention. When I find myself unable to relate to a mysterious internal experience in a practical way, I find the appropriate courtship of that experience is simply to observe with patience, allowing it to exist without interruption or evaluation. Eventually the familiarity grows, and a path to relationship is revealed. Sometimes I find that the mystery just wanted to be witnessed, and it falls away. If I do explore different ways of relating to such a mystery, something like Sacred Fool's suggestion seems to be an appropriate courtship - gentle, coming from the heart, speaking to the love and desire that has brought us to this point to begin with. The fact that your experiences seem to continually be outside of your conscious grasp seems to me to speak to the nature of this courtship. To extend Ra's analogy, perhaps she is not ready for a relationship, and simply wants to be seen for what she is right now. It's probably obvious that patience is the greatest virtue I have found in these types of explorations.

Thank you Austin for your reply. Indeed it looks like I have to try and find some answers to these symptoms rather than just try to shut them down or bypass them. As you said it is a form of catalyst or maybe some form of guarding something against something else which I need to understand. Patience is hand down the greatest virtue for me especially and I can see me adding catalyst testing my patience in this experience. Finding ideas when out of ideas is part of the experience.